Big Doors
by EstellaDoreaBlack
Summary: They say big doors swing on little hinges. One moment, one action, can change the course of history. AU
1. Chapter One: The Little Hinge

**Big Doors**

**Disclaimer: **If you recognize it, it's not mine. This is an AU story.

**This story is rated T for possible violence in later chapters.**

_**Chapter One: The Little Hinge**_

"We are not going without our shuttle crew." Natasha Yar faced down the monstrous black creature that stood in her way.

"I warn you..."

"Enough." Tasha cut it off. "We have people who need attention. We won't hurt you, but we must help them."

The creature raised one arm - if you could call it that - and pointed directly at her. Before she could react, she felt something heavy crash into her, knocking her to the ground. At first she thought it was the creature's doing, but then a voice spoke directly in her ear.

"Lieutenant Yar. Are you all right?"

"_Data? _What - what happened?"

"Whatever that thing is, it aimed some sort of energy beam at you." Will knelt by her side, Beverly close behind, tricorder already open. "Data jumped at you - I've never seen anyone move so fast - and knocked you down. The beam hit a rock," Will drew a deep, shaky breath, "and the rock exploded. If it had hit you..." He didn't need to finish. They all knew what could have happened - what very nearly _had_ happened.

"You've got a few broken bones, and you're a little banged up," Beverly reported. "I want to get you to sickbay."

Data looked as horrified as an android could. "I am sorry. I did not intend to injure you."

"Data, if you _hadn't_ jumped at me, it would've been worse." Tasha rolled carefully onto her back,wincing as she did. "A few broken bones the doctor can heal. If that - whatever it was had hit me, it could have done damage no doctor could have fixed."

"She's right, Data." Beverly tapped her combadge. "Crusher to _Enterprise_, beam us up."

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"You wanted to see me, Lieutenant?"

"Data." Tasha bit her lip before continuing. "Data, I almost died today."

"But you did not."

"I know. But coming so close made me start thinking. I want - I _need_ to talk to you about the Tsiolkovsky virus. When I told you that it never happened, I was more than embarrassed. I was ashamed of myself, ashamed of what I did to you. I used you, Data, and then I was so ashamed of what I'd done that I couldn't even bring myself to apologize. And then today I realized that if I had died down on that planet, then I would never have told you, and you'd have lived for centuries not knowing how very sorry I am."

"I accept your apology. You do not need to feel guilt."

"Data, there's something else." Tasha spoke quickly, needing to get this out before she could lose her nerve. "I didn't lie when I said that I wanted gentleness and joy and love, and that I wanted them from you. I love you, Data. And if you're all right with it, I'd like to - to try having a relationship with you. A real relationship, not an intoxicated one-night stand."

"I would not be adverse to such a possibility. But you must understand that I am incapable of loving you."

"Oh, Data, you sell yourself short. Tell me what you think of me - as a person, not as an officer."

"I care very much for you, Tasha. Your presence has enriched my life. If I had lost you today, I would have felt your absence profoundly."

"Not to mention risking your own life to save mine. Data - that _is_ love, in all the ways that count. Just because you can't feel the emotion of love doesn't mean you can't love in your own way."

"Put that way, I suppose you have a point."

"Data, do me a favor. Stop micro-analyzing our relationship and just kiss me."

He leaned forward, took her face in his hands, and pressed his lips to hers. Her arms went around his shoulders and she returned his kiss with every bit of fire in her.

**I always loved this pairing, and I hated that it never went beyond the one-night stand. Please review.**


	2. Chapter Two: A Lot More Complicated

**Big Doors**

**Disclaimer: **If you recognize it, it's not mine. This is an AU story.

_**Chapter Two: A Lot More Complicated  
**_

"So what exactly happened while I was trapped in the ship? I felt a lot of things - fear, relief, determination - but I couldn't tell what was going on, except for the bits that monster told me." Deanna Troi looked imploringly at Will. "Please. Tell me."

"We beamed down to the surface and found that blob thing blocking our way. It confronted us, and Tasha confronted it right back. It shot an energy beam at her - Data knocked her clear. Its shock gave us time to beam back up before it attacked again.

"The captain sent me, Data, and Beverly back down, along with Geordi. The first thing we saw was the creature on your shuttle. Worf and Wesley, on the bridge, realized that when the creature was on the shuttle, its energy readings dropped. Then Beverly talked it into dropping its shield for a second so she could talk to you."

"Which is why the combadge worked all of a sudden."

"Exactly. Then it got angry with us for asking to be allowed to help you, so it started toying with us. It took Data's phaser and Geordi's VISOR. It went back over to you - something happened -"

"I started talking to it. I think I got a little too close to the truth for comfort. Then it left me, and I felt fear - from everyone, but especially you."

"It - it enveloped me in itself. I'm not quite sure what happened after that -"

"It said that if any of us left, you'd be killed." Geordi, who'd been sitting by silently, picked up the story. "The Captain decided to beam down himself. The creature told him to entertain it, and when he refused, it took control of Data. It made him point his phaser at different members of our group, taunting him about being responsible for their deaths. Data being Data, he of course responded that he wouldn't be responsible since he wasn't in control of himself. It got so frustrated with not getting a response out of him that it left him alone. It let the Captain see Will, and then let the _Enterprise_ beam the Away Team back up. After that - you probably have a better idea of what happened than I do."

"It transported him onto our ship. I told him what I'd been doing to upset it, and so when it transported him back he must have tried the same thing - poking at its weaknesses, its fear of being left alone. Whatever he did, it worked, because they managed to get us out of there." She sighed. "My God, I can't stop thinking about how many people almost died today. I put so many people in danger, just for a conference!"

"Deanna," Will cut her off sharply, "_you_ didn't put us in danger. That creature did. You had no way of knowing this was going to happen, and more to the point, nothing _did_ happen. Everyone's fine, physically anyway. Emotionally - well, you being ship's counselor and all, I might suggest you clear your calender for the next few weeks."

"I have to say," she admitted, "in this one instance, I'm glad Data doesn't have emotions. If anyone else had been forced to point a phaser at their friends, knowing they had no control over what they might do..." she didn't have to finish.

"Speak of the devil." Geordi nodded towards the door of Ten-Forward, which had just opened. Data walked in, followed closely by Tasha.

"Can we join you?"

"Of course. Pull up some chairs."

The occupants of the table had known Data for too long to be surprised when he picked up a chair from a neighboring table with one hand and simply carried it over to the table his friends occupied. What was more shocking was that he pulled out Tasha's chair for her. She hesitated, nearly refused, then gave in and sat.

"Data," Geordi asked as the android took his own seat, "is there something going on here we should know about?"

"To what are you referring?" Data asked, genuinely confused.

"Yes," Tasha answered at the same time.

"I think I like Tasha's answer better." Geordi grinned. "I've been wondering how long it would take you two."

"You knew?"

Will laughed. "Tasha, I think _everyone_ knew. We were just waiting for you two to get the message."

"Yeah, well, almost dying can have that effect." She tried to grin, but it was more of a grimace.

"Let's not go there." Will's expression matched Tasha's.

"Agreed," Geordi put in. "Come on, let's have another round of drinks. To Data and Tasha!"

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"What just happened?"

Data barely looked up. "Some sort of loop in time that caused us to repeat our actions."

"Picard to bridge." The captain's voice came over the comm.

"Captain," Will acknowledged.

"Number One, did something unusual just occur on the bridge?"

"Yes, sir. We experienced some kind of loop where everything repeats itself."

"Here too. I'm on my way."

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"Can you believe it about the captain and Dr. Manheim's wife? Apparently they used to be in a relationship!"

"What reason would I have to disbelieve it?" Data asked.

"Oh, Data." Tasha laughed. "Will isn't actually asking if you believe the captain. It's sort of a figure of speech which implies that it's something unexpected."

"Ah."

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"And you just figured out which one of you it was?"

"Considering the facts of the situation, it was easy."

"For you, maybe. You have to realize that we don't all have your superior reasoning skills."

"I am fully aware-"

"Another figure of speech, Data."

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"I do not understand what it is about a simple scientific mission that has the entire crew in such high spirits."

"Oh, Data, a mission to Pacifica is almost like a vacation with a tiny bit of work thrown in. It's a wonderful place for relaxation," she smiled, "and romance. I'm taking you to the beach the first chance we get."

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"Well she smiles, looks him straight in the eye, and says, 'Just try that in hyperspace'!" Geordi burst out laughing even before he finished the punch line.

"I see. So the difficulty in attaining such complex positioning in zero-gravity environment, coupled with the adverse affects it would have on the psychological well-being of the average human male, is what makes this anecdote so amusing. Yes. Very humorous indeed. Hysterical, in fact." Data proceeded to imitate laughter, to the amusement of the bridge crew.

"What is our ETA at Pacifica, Mr. La Forge?" Will asked.

"Twenty-two hours, fourteen minutes, sir."

"Increase speed to Warp Six." He turned to Deanna. "Do you think anyone would object to our arriving ahead of schedule?"

"I wouldn't mind a bit," Tasha inserted from above his head.

"Me either," Deanna agreed. "I've been really looking forward to a nice swim."

"You are aware, Counselor, that the holodeck can be programmed to recreate an oceanic environment?"

"Data, it's just not the same. Have you ever been for a real moonlight swim?"

"One can swim in moonlight?"

For the second time in as many minutes, Tasha found herself leaning on the console with mirth.

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"It looks like debris." Tasha continued to examine the small objects on the screen. "From a ship."

"It could be one of those ships that was orbiting Dytallix," Will said soberly.

"We are in close proximity to that planet," Geordi pointed out.

"Identifying marks, Lieutenant?" Picard asked.

"No sir, but from the amount of debris here," she took a deep breath before completing a sentence she knew would devastate both the Captain and Beverly, "I'm sorry, it can only be the _Horatio._"

Beverly stood and stared at the viewscreen. Picard himself seemed numb with shock.

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"Captain, what's going on here?"

"What do you mean, Lieutenant?"

"Oh, come _on_, captain. First the Code 47, then the detour to Dytallix, then you lie to Beverly about seeing Keel - yes, I knew you were lying - then one of the same ships we saw in orbit of Dytallix is mysteriously destroyed, and now we're going back to Earth. Not to mention pulling Data off the bridge on a secret assignment."

"I suppose there's no point in trying to convince you it's all a series of coincidences?"

"No sir, there isn't."

"The answer is I'm not entirely sure. This actually started a few months ago with Admiral Quinn. He warned me about some kind of subversion. I'm sorry to say I wrote him off as overreacting. Then Walker called me -"

"It was _him_ on the Code 47."

"Exactly. He asked me to meet him on Dytallix, and he too warned me about a conspiracy. The meeting was an absolute secret, which is why I told Beverly I hadn't seen him. Without giving away too much, I then asked Data to investigate Walker's claims that Starfleet Command was acting oddly. When the _Horatio_ was destroyed, and then Data found information backing up Walker's claims, I decided to turn us around."

Tasha just stared at him, speechless.

"I must ask you, Lieutenant, not to discuss this with the crew. I have only told this to Commander Riker, Data, and now you."

"I'm honored that you did tell me, sir. Yes, I know I did ask, but you didn't have to answer."

"I know I can trust you, Lieutenant - Tasha. You've earned that trust."

"Thank you, sir."

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"He just fell?" Tasha was doubtful. Will had seemed almost panicked when he'd called for security.

"That is what I said. Now if you'll excuse me, my time here is most limited."

"Admiral," Geordi jumped to his feet to intercept Quinn on his way out, "don't you think we should wait until the doctor gets here?" He barely finished his question before the Admiral picked him up and threw him through the door.

Tasha reacted on pure instinct. Her phaser was instantly in her hand, and as Quinn turned to her, she fired. He stumbled back but recovered. She fired again, this time keeping the beam constant until he finally fell.

"What is going on in here?" Beverly walked in to see two of the room's occupants lying unconscious on the floor, the third in the hallway and just coming to, and Tasha, the only apparently unharmed member of the group, standing with her phaser trained on Quinn.

"He attacked Geordi, and probably Will too although we can't be sure until he wakes up." She noticed Geordi standing shakily in the doorway. "Are you all right?"

"If I could see, I'd be seeing stars," he remarked wryly.

"What exactly is happening around here?" Tasha wondered. This seemed to be fitting in perfectly with everything the captain had told her. "What's up with him?"

Beverly turned from where she was examining Will. "Let's find out."

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"Data, look at this."

"What is it?" Data looked over from the empty capsule he was examining.

"Look." Tasha pointed at the capsule she was standing in front of. "This one's intact."

"And this one," Data said, indicating another capsule. "And this." He was as close to excitement as an android could be.

"Commander Data, return to the _Enterprise_ immediately." Will's voice came over the combadge.

"We have run into an unusual situation, sir," Data answered. "There are people on board. Frozen."

"Frozen? How many?"

"Three. The vehicle has suffered severe damage. Most of her systems have failed."

"Are you suggesting they should be transferred to the _Enterprise_?"

"I do not believe we should leave them here, sir. With your permission, we will be returning with three containers."

"Whatever you do, do it quickly."

"Oh, boy," Tasha mumbled. "We're going to have some explaining to do."

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"Captain, can I talk to you for a minute? There's something you should know."

"What is it, Lieutenant?" Picard was already stressed, but he knew she wouldn't bother him unless it was important.

"You know that piece of space debris that was floating near the Starbase?"

"What about it?"

"Well Data wanted to go over and examine it, and we had time, so Commander Riker let him go and sent me with him. Well - there were three people on board, frozen in some kind of stasis. Right before you came onboard, Data requested and received permission to transfer them to the _Enterprise_."

"And you want me to do what exactly about it?"

"I just figured you ought to hear this from me instead of through the grapevine, sir."

"I see. Thank you for telling me, Lieutenant." He tapped his combadge. "Mr. Data, report to the Observation Lounge, immediately."

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"I think our lives just became a lot more complicated."

"Agreed, Captain." Tasha looked around at the crew. "But I think we're ready for everything life throws at us. What do you say?"

"Agreed," Data answered.

"I'm with you," Geordi added.

"You bet," said Will.

"Absolutely," Deanna put in.

"I am ready." Worf seemed to stand even taller than usual.

Picard allowed a smile to cross his face. "I have full confidence in all of us. Now," he turned to Worf and indicated the twentieth-century financier, "get him off my bridge."

**In this chapter I wanted to cover all the remaining episodes in Season One briefly; for the record, I will NOT be covering every single episode of the series in this fic. However, this will be a LONG fic, so this is your warning.**

**Most episodes from now on will be covered in more detail.  
**

**Thanks to konarciq for giving me the idea on how to start this chapter.**

**Please review. I was very pleased with the number of reviews I got for the opener. Keep it up!**


	3. Chapter Three: Changes

**Big Doors**

**Disclaimer: **If you recognize it, it's not mine. This is an AU story.

_**Chapter Three: Promotions and Old Friends**_

"You're leaving?"

Beverly looked around the observation lounge, taking in the shocked expressions of the senior staff. "I've been offered a position as head of Starfleet Medical, and I've accepted."

"Beverly, you've barely been on the _Enterprise_ a year!" Will protested.

"I know, I know. It wasn't an easy decision by any means. But it's important step forward for me."

"But we need you here," Will objected. "Do you have any idea where we'd be if it wasn't for you? If we hadn't all killed ourselves the way those people on the _Tsiolkovsky _did, we'd have fallen apart when that virus hit us, or been killed by the Crystalline Entity when Lore dropped our shields."

"Come on, now," said Beverly, blushing. "That last one was mostly Wes."

"And Wes wouldn't have been on the _Enterprise_ if you weren't," Will pointed out. "I assume he'll be leaving with you?"

"Not immediately, but soon."

"Beverly will be leaving in a few days. Ensign Crusher will be remaining on board for another few weeks before leaving to join her. I am certain they will both be missed."

"You can say that again," Will mumbled.

"Did you not hear properly the first time? I believe the captain's volume was sufficient. Perhaps you might want to have your hearing examined."

Data's remark broke the somber mood and had the entire senior staff laughing. Even Picard grinned.

"Did I say something humorous?"

"Data," Tasha explained, "when Will told the Captain that he could 'say that again', he wasn't actually suggesting that the Captain repeat his statement. He was expressing the fact that the Captain's statement was so true that it might warrant repetition."

"Ah."

"There is another staff change I would like to make everyone aware of. Lieutenant Commander Lynch will be leaving as well."

"That's what, our fourth chief engineer this year?" Tasha asked. "We do seem to run through them."

"Well, I've decided to take a different approach this time," Picard told them. "I've spoken to Commander Riker and he agrees with me. Instead of recruiting a new member of the crew, I will be giving this task to someone already onboard."

"Who, sir?" Geordi asked. "I don't mean to question your orders, but I don't think there's anyone in Engineering who's qualified."

"As it happens, Mr. La Forge, I agree with you completely. That's why I'm giving the position to you. Congratulations, Lieutenant La Forge."

Geordi opened and closed his mouth several times, but no words came out. He wasn't alone; the only members of the senior staff not speechless with shock were Will, who had known in advance, and Data, who had never been struck speechless by anything. "Geordi, are you not pleased?"

"Of course - of course I am," he managed to get out. "I'm just shocked."

"You know more about Engineering than anyone in Engineering," Will told him. "And you've proved in the incident at Minos that you know how to lead and take charge. You're the best man for the job, and you deserve the promotion."

"Commander Riker is correct," Data added.

"Wow." Geordi's vocal cords seemed to be working again. "Thanks. I'm honored."

"Who is replacing Dr. Crusher?" Data asked. "I do not think there is anyone else on board with the proper level of expertise to become Chief Medical Officer."

"You're right, Mr. Data. We will be taking on a new crewmember to fill that vacancy; a Dr.," he glanced down at his PADD, "Katherine Pulaski. She'll be transferring from the USS_ Repulse._ We'll be rendezvousing with them two days after Dr. Crusher's departure."

"Katherine Pulaski, sir?" Tasha repeated the name in surprise.

"Yes. Why? Do you know her?"

"We've met."

"Good. You must have some perspective. What was your impression?"

"She's very compassionate, no question, but she has her own particular way of doing things. She has some trouble with technology; as I recall, she was afraid of transporters. Oh, she'll use technology if it's necessary," Tasha replied to Picard's unspoken question, "but she has a problem with, how did she put it? 'Technology for technology's sake.' Also, I did hear someone saying that when she sees someone in trouble, she has a habit of letting the Prime Directive go out the window."

"Exactly what we need," Will groaned.

"While I agree that compassion is something we will require from our Chief Medical Officer, I fail to see how any of the other qualities - ah. Sarcasm."

"See?" Geordi grinned. "You're getting it."

"Well, I'll discuss that particular element with her when she arrives. Mr. La Forge, I expect you to report to Engineering at 0700 hours tomorrow, in the proper uniform and with the proper rank insignia."

"Aye, sir." Geordi couldn't keep back the smile that split his face.

xxxxxxxxxx

"Senior staff to the Observation Lounge." Picard's voice came over the comm.

"Did we have a meeting we all forgot about?" Will asked no one in particular.

"Sir, may I remind you that I am incapable of forgetting a staff meeting - or anything else, for that matter?"

"Never mind, Data, it's just unusual." The senior staff on the bridge obediently filed into the Observation Lounge, where they were joined quickly by Deanna, Picard, and a woman no one but Tasha recognized, but everyone realized was the new doctor.

As the Captain continued to give Geordi orders, Tasha glanced at the doctor, who didn't even seem to notice her.

"This is Dr. Katherine Pulaski," Picard said quickly. "We'll handle the formal introductions later." He fell silent, clearly uncomfortable, and Tasha noticed for the first time that Deanna was seated on the far end of the table, away from the others.

"Counselor Deanna Troi is pregnant," he said finally, and then, as if he had not made himself clear with the first statement, "she - she is going to have a baby."

"Baby?" Will gasped, and everyone turned simultaneously to look at Deanna. "This is a surprise."

"More so for me," she answered.

"This pregnancy is unlike anything I have ever encountered," Dr. Pulaski explained. "Since she came to me a few hours ago, I have done two complete examinations of Counselor Troi." She turned on the screen to reveal a full picture of the fetus. "The fetus is about halfway through the first trimester, about six weeks old. Now, understand, we believe conception took place eleven hours ago."

"What?" Will couldn't contain another shocked outburst.

"Gets better," the doctor continued, changing the picture on the screen. "This is the second exam, one hour later. Now, it's consistent, except for the fact that it appears the fetus is several weeks older. At this growth rate, Counselor Troi will have her baby in about thirty-six hours. The normal gestation rate for a Betazoid is ten months."

"I don't mean to be indelicate," Will broke in, clearly unable to repress his burning question, "but who's the father?"

"Last night, while I slept, something which I can only describe as a presence entered my body," she explained.

"A life-form of unknown origin and intent is breeding right now inside Counselor Troi," the Captain said half to himself. "Our purpose here is to determine what is to be done about this. Discussion."

"Wait," Will interrupted again. "Now let me get this straight. Deanna was impregnated by - what? Doctor, what do the tests show? Is it a humanoid, an alien?"

"It's a male human. Or in this case, half human half Betazoid."

"Exactly the same as Deanna."

"In every way. In fact, there is nothing to indicate that there are any genetic patterns other than hers."

"I don't think this is a random occurrence," Will suggested. "I think there's a purpose here and a reason. What, I don't know."

"I'm at a loss as to what the next step is," Tasha admitted.

"We can't assume the intent was belligerent," Will stated.

"Captain," Data pointed out, "this is a life-form. Not to allow it to develop naturally would deny us the opportunity to study it."

"Doctor," Will asked hesitantly, "is there any health risk to Counselor Troi if the fetus is aborted?"

"Captain," Deanna interrupted before the doctor could answer, "do whatever you feel is necessary to protect the ship and crew, but know this: I'm going to have this baby."

"Then it seems," Picard concluded, "that the discussion is over."

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"So other than the unusual growth rate, there's nothing unusual about Deanna's baby?"

"No, Captain. As far as I can tell, it's just a baby - an unbelievably fast-growing baby, but a baby."

The door chime sounded.

"Come," Picard called.

"Captain." Tasha walked in. "I've been talking to Deanna and - Doctor. Excuse me, I didn't realize you were in the middle of something."

"That's all right, Lieutenant. I believe you said that you and the doctor are are acquainted?"

"I'm afraid you have me at a disadvantage, Lieutenant. I don't recall our meeting at all."

"It was quite a few years ago, and a brief meeting. I was a passenger onboard the _Saratoga_ for about two weeks when you were their Chief Medical Officer."

"I wish I could remember our meeting, but unfortunately I saw so many people, and I've been off the _Saratoga_ for so long, that I can't even remember everyone who served on the ship, to say nothing of passengers."

"It's completely understandable." Tasha's apparent nonchalance could have fooled a stranger, and did fool the doctor, but Picard could tell she was disappointed.

"Doctor Katherine Pulaski, Lieutenant Natasha Yar, my Chief of Security."

"Tasha Yar?" Pulaski's eyes widened with sudden recognition. "My God."

"You do remember?"

"Did you honestly think I could forget? I didn't recognize you, you look so different." She stood and, to Picard's shock, pulled Tasha into a tight embrace. "I've missed you, Tasha."

"The feeling is mutual."

"Excuse me," Picard interrupted. "I don't mean to interrupt this reunion, but I assume there was a reason you came in the first place?"

"Ah, yes." Tasha stammered, embarrassed. "It's about the security for Deanna's delivery."

"Security? Do we really need guards in a delivery room?" Pulaski was instantly paying attention.

"As it happens, doctor, I agree with you. However," she continued quickly, forestalling the argument she knew was coming from the Captain, "I do understand the need for caution. I propose a compromise. I've already asked Deanna and she approves."

"What do you propose?"

"If Data and I were both present in the delivery room, we could handle any security challenge that might come up, and since we're both Deanna's friends, it would be less of an intrusion. We might even be able to help in some way."

"Mr. Data, report to my ready room." Picard turned back to Tasha. "I'd like to discuss this with him."

The android walked in. "Sir?"

"Lieutenant Yar has suggested that in lieu of a security team, you and she would attend Counselor's Troi's delivery, both as security and as support for her. What do you think?"

"I believe the security would be adequate, sir. Has Counselor Troi agreed?"

"She has. Are you willing to participate?"

"I am honored, sir."

"Very well. Lieutenant Yar, I approve your compromise."

"Thank you, sir."

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"You wanted to see me, Doctor?"

"Tasha, please. Call me Kate."

She smiled. "Kate. What did you want?"

"I'm wondering about your choice of assistants for Deanna's birth. Not you, Tasha, I know you'll do fine. But Commander Data?"

"What about him?"

"Tasha, I just don't think Deanna needs another machine in the delivery room. What she needs is a human touch, not the cold hand of technology."

"Data's hardly just another machine. In some ways, he's more human than any of us."

"What do you mean?"

"He sees the world with the wonder of a child. He'll never cease to be amazed by the simplest things, things most people take for granted."

"What about personal relationships? We're talking about a very personal situation here, Tasha. The 'wonder of a child' just won't be enough."

"Data has personal relationships the same as the rest of us."

"Real relationships? Not just people working with him, but friends?"

"Yes, friends. He's especially close to Geordi La Forge, and to me."

"You? You're a close friend of his?"

"His girlfriend, actually."

That shocked the doctor completely. She sputtered for a few seconds before finally managing a stunned, "He's capable of having a romantic relationship?"

"Absolutely."

"With no emotions?"

"He may not have emotions like yours or mine, but he does have feelings. When I asked him what he thought of me, he came as close to saying he loved me as you can without actually saying the word love."

"I still have a problem with a sentient machine in general. It's the epitome of technology for technology's sake."

Tasha took a deep breath and decided to strike back with simple logic. "Deanna's already agreed to have Data present at the birth, as has Captain Picard. He won't be in your way."

"I suppose Deanna's the patient. If she says it's all right to have Data in the delivery room, then it's all right to have Data in the delivery room."

Tasha nodded. "And Kate?"

"What is it?"

"I admire you very highly, and I care about you a great deal. But I love Data too. I'm not asking you to like him, just please don't put me in a position where I have to choose between you."

"I won't. I promise. And if I do - just tell me, I'll stop."

"Thank you."

**Please review. Still really happy with the number of reviews I'm getting.**

**Please note that while this story is a Data/Tasha fic primarily, it will also be exploring Tasha's relationships with the rest of the crew.**

**And for the record, the relationship between Tasha and Kate Pulaski is entirely my own invention. There's nothing in the show to suggest they were ever even on the same planet, let alone that they were close. Despite my love of Data, I've never hated Pulaski, and I wanted to explore her character in more depth.**

**And I did take Tasha's line about Data seeing things with the wonder of a child directly from the end of "Skin of Evil".**

**Someone asked me to explain where the snippets from Chapter Two came from. So the first three are from "We'll Always Have Paris," the next five are from "Conspiracy," and the last three are from "The Neutral Zone." I did alter all of them slightly, and both scenes with Tasha and Picard I made up (see above on Tasha's relationships with other characters).**


	4. Chapter Four: Ian Andrew Troi

**Big Doors**

**Disclaimer:** If you recognize it, it's not mine. This is an AU story.

**Chapter Four: Ian Andrew Troi**

"Lieutenant Yar, report to sickbay." Data's voice came over the comm. Picard waved her off the bridge as Worf moved to take her place.

"It's time?" she asked unnecessarily as she walked into sickbay.

"Uh-huh." Deanna leaned back against the bed. Data stood next to her, somewhat apprehensive.

"You don't have to do anything, Data," Deanna assured him. "Just be with me." She turned to Tasha. "Data's volunteered to stand in for the father."

"Just don't get any ideas when this is all over." Tasha grinned at her friend.

"Tasha, if you want to stand on Counselor Troi's other side, that's probably best. Data, there's nothing to be nervous about."

"Nervous? I find this very interesting. Although I understand in technical terms how life is formed, there is still a part of the process which eludes me. The child inside you - are you able to access his thought process? Does he have thoughts? You are aware of him - is he aware of you? When does that awareness begin?"

"It's happening," Deanna gasped.

"Doctor!" Tasha called.

"This is an impatient baby!" Kate hurried over. "He's eager to make his appearance. Do you want something for the pain? It will in no way diminish the experience."

"I have felt no pain."

"None?"

"No, none at all."

Tasha took one of Deanna's hands - Data still had the other one - and squeezed it. She saw movement out of the corner of her eye and turned to see Will standing there, keeping out of the way but ready to help if necessary. Kate continued to coach Deanna through her contractions. Then they heard it - the unmistakable cry of a newborn baby.

"I've got him," Kate told Deanna. "You can relax." She cut the umbilical cord, carefully wrapped the baby in a blanket, and handed him to Deanna. "Are easy births the norm for Betazoids?"

"Not according to my mother."

"Thank you for allowing me to participate." Data seemed completely in awe of what he had just scene. "It was remarkable."

"Do you have a name?" Kate asked.

"Ian Andrew, after my father."

Will finally entered the room completely, and Deanna turned to him. "Were you here all along?"

"If he says no, he's lying," Tasha stage-whispered.

"He's beautiful, Deanna." Will kissed her gently on the cheek. "Just like his mother."

Tasha started to reach out a hand and then stopped herself. "May I touch him?"

"Of course." Deanna took her friend's hand and guided it to the baby's head.

"He's perfect." The baby cooed as Tasha touched him.

"He likes you." Kate smiled.

"You want to hold him?"

"Deanna, I don't think -"

"Come on, Tasha. Here." She deposited the baby in Tasha's arms. "Support his head - there, see? It's easy."

Tasha rocked the newborn gently, completely amazed. He was so tiny, so fragile, so trusting. He seemed to stare up at her with huge dark eyes that so resembled Deanna's.

"Oh, Deanna." She couldn't say anything else. She carefully handed the child back to his mother.

"You can see him anytime you like," Deanna promised her. "You know, in most cultures a child has a person in their life who is as close as a family member - I think on Earth it's called a godparent."

"Deanna, you aren't asking-"

"Of course I am. He's already taken to you, and you to him."

"Deanna, I - I don't know what to say."

"Say yes."

"Of course. Thank you so much."

There had to be something funny in the air. It was the only excuse for the way her eyes were watering.

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"Deanna! _Deanna!_"

"What is it?"

"Ian, show mommy what you just did." Tasha lifted the little boy and set him gently on his feet. He immediately took several steps before falling.

"My God." Deanna knelt down next to her son. "And he's only twelve hours old. If I didn't know better, I'd say he was about a year."

"Fast pregnancy, fast growth - at this rate he'll be applying to the academy in a couple of days." Tasha ruffled the boy's dark hair.

"Mama!" Ian reached out his hands to Deanna.

"That has to be a record," the counselor remarked as she picked him up. "First steps and first words within minutes of each other."

"Mama mama mama." He turned and looked over at the other woman in the room. "Tassa."

"Yes, yes, that's right. He's so smart!"

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"The Captain came in earlier. He was - disconcerted."

"I don't blame him." Tasha looked over at her friend's son, who now appeared to be about six. "I'm disconcerted. Don't get me wrong, I love him. but I'm disconcerted."

"Tasha, look at this!" Ian held up a picture he had drawn. "It's you!"

"Very good, Ian." Deanna's compliment wasn't just the mark of a proud parent. The drawing was amazing for a child Ian's apparent age.

"Here." He handed it to Tasha. "It's for you."

"Thank you, Ian." She leaned over and hugged him.

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"What's the problem?"

"We don't know exactly. But there's some strange radiation that's messing with the containment of this virus." Geordi briefly removed his VISOR to rub his eyes. "My first big project as chief engineer, and I screw it up big-time."

"You couldn't have accounted for everything. I think you're still the only one who could've got it this good."

"Thanks, Tasha. Now if I can just figure out how to stop us all getting killed, we'll be in great shape."

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"Lieutenant Yar, report to Sickbay please."

"On my way. Is there a problem?"

"I'll explain when you get here."

Tasha entered Sickbay to find everything in apparent order. "What's going on?"

"In my office, please." Kate led a confused Chief of Security into her office and shut the door. "Sit down."

"Doctor - Kate - I don't understand."

"Tasha, it's Ian. He's - he's gone. I'm sorry."

"What - how?"

"Ian is - was - a life-force entity trying to learn about humans. He decided the best way to do that would be to go through life as a human, albeit an accelerated life. But it turned out he was emitting the radiation that was causing our problems, and being half-Betazoid he could sense everyone's concern. So he decided he had to leave us. He died in Deanna's arms a few minutes ago, and then morphed back into his original form and explained to her what I've just told you." She rested a compassionate hand on Tasha's back. "He said thank you."

Tasha only nodded, struggling to keep her emotions in check. A tear slipped down her cheek despite her best efforts.

"I'm here if you need someone." Kate gently squeezed her friend's shoulder. "And if you need a few hours, I'll talk to the Captain for you."

"Thank you, Kate, but right now the last thing I need is time to brood."

"Understood."

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"Tasha? Are you all right?"

"I'm fine."

"I have learned that humans often say that they are fine when in reality, they are not. I am not certain if that is what you are doing, but I do know that what has happened today is likely to have placed an emotional strain on you. In addition, I know that it is not usual for you or anyone to sit alone in a Jefferies tube. I only wish to help you. What can I do?"

"Oh, Data. Sit with me."

The android obliged. "Does this help you?"

"A little. I like having you here. Oh, Data, I miss him."

"Counselor Troi's son?"

"I've never really taken care of a child like that. He brought so much to my life. I feel - empty."

"What is this?" Data picked up the drawing Ian had produced only the day before. "It appears to be a representation of you."

"Ian drew that." Tasha choked.

"Do you wish for me to embrace you?"

"What?"

"I have observed that when humans are sad, they often benefit from the embrace of one they love. Do you wish for me to embrace you?"

A small sob tore loose from her throat, and she nodded. "Please. Hold me, Data."

He pulled her gently into his arms and stroked her hair - another behavior he had observed by watching humans comforting upset people. Her shoulders shook with suppressed grief.

"I have also learned that it is counterproductive for humans to withhold their emotions. To employ a common saying, I will not tell anyone if you do not."

Another sob tore free, and then she was crying openly into Data's shoulder, crying as she hadn't let herself cry for years. He just sat with her, holding her close, dead silent for once.

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"Ensign Crusher has requested to remain on board the _Enterprise_."

"I'm not surprised." Will looked up at the Captain. "How did you respond?"

"I haven't as yet, Number One. I didn't think that it was my responsibility alone. His remaining will create difficulties for all of us."

"Yes, indeed. With his mother gone, who will see to his studies?"

"Exactly. Of course, that duty will fall to Commander Data."

"And who will tuck him in at night?"

"Come on, Commander." Wesley turned his seat halfway to face Will.

"I can." Tasha spoke up from the console. A week before, she never would have agreed. but now, after Ian, she felt different about the idea of caring for a child in any capacity.

"Well, then, that takes care of the practical, but there's more to growing up than that. It's my belief, Number One, that you're best qualified to supervise that. You willing to serve?"

"Difficult decision." The corner of Will's mouth twitched - he was clearly teasing. "Yes, I can do that."

"Well, Mr. Crusher, communicate with your mother at Starfleet Medical Headquarters, give her my regards, and tell her that you have my permission to remain on the _Enterprise,_ but I will abide by her wishes."

"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. I know she'll agree."

And no one was surprised when, less than five minutes after he got off-duty, Wesley's expectations were confirmed.

**Please review. For the moment, konarciq and trance47 win the most diligent reviewer award, however I am happy with all of you.**

**There are a few snippets in this one, so I'll just answer the question before anyone can ask: this entire chapter takes place during the episode "The Child."**


	5. Chapter Five: Android and Doctor

**Big Doors**

**Disclaimer:** If you recognize it, it's not mine. This is an AU story.

_**Chapter Five: Android and Doctor  
**_

"Geordi? Geordi? Is something wrong?"

Geordi turned when he heard Tasha calling to him. "Well, I took Data onto the Holodeck to play Sherlock Holmes. I thought it would be a fun way to spend a couple of hours. Well he told the computer to select a Holmes mystery at random. And within two minutes he had it solved."

Tasha grinned despite herself. "Well, that explains your assistant. Apparently Data said you could be reached on some street -"

"221B Baker Street."

"Must've been. She couldn't remember. She was pretty confused though."

"I just don't understand. How can he like solving a mystery so fast?"

"That's Data for you. But maybe you could try to explain the concept more clearly."

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"The fun in the program, Data, was in the attempt to solve a mystery."

"Is that not exactly what we were doing?"

"You're wasting your breath, Lieutenant," Pulaski laughed from another table. "Saying that to Data is asking a computer not to compute."

Tasha was about to jump to Data's defense, but he beat her to it. "Am I so different from you, Doctor? Are you able to cease thinking on command?"

"In medicine, I'm often faced with puzzles that I do not know the answer to."

She's right, Data," Geordi admitted. "You always know the answer."

"To feel the thrill of a victory, there must be the possibility of failure. Where's the victory in winning a battle you can't possibly lose?"

"Are you suggesting that there is some value in losing?"

"Yes. That's the great teacher. We humans often learn more from a mistake or a failure than we do from an easy success. But not you - all your learning is by rote. To you it's all memorization and recitation."

"I don't know about all that. Deductive reasoning is one of Data's strengths." Geordi jumped back in.

"Yes, Holmes too, but Holmes understood the human soul, the dark flecks which drive us, that turn the innocent into the evil. That understanding is beyond Data."

"Now you're just being unfair, Doctor."

"I don't think so, Lieutenant."

"I do." Tasha was unable to keep silent any longer. "You're treating him like a thing, like nothing more than a walking computer."

"He wouldn't have a prayer of solving a Holmes mystery which he hasn't read."

"I have read them all."

"Maybe the computer could create one in Holmes' style, one where you wouldn't know the outcome," Geordi suggested.

"As I said, he wouldn't have a prayer."

"I accept your challenge, Doctor."

"Good for you, Data." Geordi grinned.

"We will return to the Holodeck, where I will dare it to defeat me. And you, Madam, are invited to be a witness."

"I wouldn't miss it."

"Can I come too?" Tasha asked.

"Most certainly. Come, Watson!"

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"Tasha, what's bothering you? And don't say it's nothing; I know you too well for that. Come on, you can tell me."

"All right, fine. It's what you said to Data - or rather, _about_ Data, since you hardly talked to him directly at all - earlier."

"What did I say?"

"You kept implying that he was lesser, that he couldn't possibly understand humans at all. You know, after Ian died, he sat with me for hours, held me while I cried, listened to me while I talked. He was just there for me. You can't program something like that. That's real compassion. That he doesn't process information in the same way as you or I doesn't make him any less human, and does _not_ give you the right to say what you did about him. And frankly, I'm sick of you judging him!" Without another word, she turned and headed for the Holodeck.

xxxxxxxxx

The innocent game had just seemed to go from bad to worse. When Moriarty had described the computer, it had been strange enough. When he'd successfully called for the arch, Tasha had started to worry. And then the mystery piece of paper that had caused Data to unexpectedly run from the holodeck without offering so much as an explanation, only to find himself unable to shut down the program.

"What's on that paper?" Geordi demanded. "And why can't we shut down the holodeck?"

"This." Data finally showed the paper to his companions.

"What in the galaxy?" Tasha gasped.

"How could a character from 1890's London draw a picture of the Enterprise?" Geordi was equally stunned. "And who's got control of the computer?"

"He does." Data was clearly one step ahead of the others. "Moriarty."

"That isn't possible. I don't understand."

"Nor do I." Data started to turn but Geordi grabbed his arm.

"Data, wait! What about the doctor, is she all right in there?"

"No." Data's tone was somber. "She is in grave danger."

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"Tasha, what is it?" Even with the desperate situation on his mind, he could tell she was upset.

"It's the doctor. We're so close, Data, bonded in a way that's hard to explain. I care for her very much, but just before we went into the holodeck, I yelled at her. I was angry about the way she was treating you."

"You had a right to be," Geordi interjected.

"But I was so angry, and I said a lot of things in the heat of that anger, and I barely looked at her in the holodeck, and if something happens to her -" Tasha broke off in mid-sentence. She refused to cry in front of the entire senior staff.

Data laid a gentle hand on her arm. "We will do everything we can - _I _will do everything _I _can - to see that she is all right."

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"You're all right." Tasha tried to keep her voice steady as she embraced the doctor.

"I'm fine." She smiled. "I have to give Data credit; he did manage to find Moriarty's hideout on his own."

"I'm sorry for going off on you before." Damn it, she couldn't cry now!

"I think I deserved it. I did promise I wouldn't put you in an uncomfortable place - I think it's safe to say I broke that promise. Come on now, everything's forgiven."

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"There are two disparate personalities within Lieutenant Commander Data," Deanna explained, "each distinctly different. A dominant, and a recessive."

"But he's an android," Picard pointed out. "Is that possible?"

"It must be," she insisted. "The dominant personality is unstable: brilliant but vain, sensitive yet paranoid, and I believe it is prone to irrationality."

"Of course," Picard whispered suddenly.

"What?" Tasha demanded.

"Nothing. Go on."

"It seems to have an especially strong hatred of you, Captain," Deanna continued. "Or, to a lesser degree, any authority figure. And the worst part is, it's growing."

"How do you mean?"

"The alien persona is getting stronger and gobbling up what is left of the weaker ego, the Data we know. If we don't find a way to stop it immediately, we will lose our Data forever."

Tasha couldn't breathe, couldn't think. Geordi reached out and laid a hand on her arm, and she grabbed the hand, clinging to it like an anchor.

"Are you all right?" she heard Picard ask.

Tasha finally drew a deep breath and brought the room back into focus. "I'm all right, sir."

She saw a look pass between Picard and Deanna, but thankfully they both declined to comment. "Lieutenant, I might need your help. Graves responded better to women than men, and you've got the strongest pull on Data, and the best reason for him to give Data back."

"Anything I can do, sir."

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"What are you doing?" Kate turned to see Tasha standing in the door of the sickbay. "Are you hurt?"

"It's not anything you can fix."

"Oh?"

"Captain Picard thinks Graves' personality has invaded Data's body, and is taking over. And Deanna said that unless we do something fast, the damage will be irreversible."

"What are you doing here?"

"I don't know. I just - came here. I'm not sure why."

"Well, I'm not the counselor here, but I'd say you were probably looking for someone to talk to." She pushed aside the PADD she'd been working on. "Sit down."

"It would almost be easier if he'd just died," Tasha whispered. "At least then I'd know he was just gone and I could handle it. But to see him walking around, to know he's in there somewhere, but then to know it's not him, is more painful than just losing him ever could be."

"You really love him, don't you?"

She nodded, and Kate could see tears sparkling in her eyes. "I can't believe this. I'm falling apart right when I really need to hold it together."

"Come here." Kate gently reached across the table and pulled her younger friend into a tight embrace. She could feel how desperately Tasha was trying to keep her emotions under control.

"Picard to Yar." The disembodied voice from Tasha's combadge made them both jump.

"Go ahead."

"I need you down in Engineering."

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Tasha was incensed. Geordi and Picard were lying unconscious on the floor, and now, this Data-who-wasn't, this being that had just denied Data's right to exist, was standing by like nothing was wrong.

"You could have killed him!"

"It was an accident."

"An accident that occurred because you're inhabiting a body that's ten times stronger than what you're used to! A body you have no right to inhabit at all! What gives you the right to play God, to decide who lives and who dies? What gives you the right to take Data away from me?"

"I like women, but I don't like shrews! Learn your place, little girl!"

The last thing she saw was the pale hand swinging.

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"I think her eyes just blinked -"

"She's coming out of it -"

"All right, everyone give her some space." Pulaski's voice cut through the jumble Tasha was hearing.

"Kate?" She managed, slowly opening her eyes and trying to push the fog out of her mind.

"Take it easy. When Graves hit you, he gave you a fairly serious concussion, cracked your jaw, and caused a whiplash injury. I'm keeping you here overnight; if I like what I see I'll release you tomorrow morning."

"Data?"

"I am here. Dr. Graves has transferred his memory, minus his personality, into the main computer." He stepped into her field of vision. "I am sorry for the injuries I caused, although I have no memory of causing them."

"That's because it wasn't you. It was Graves."

"If Graves in his original body had struck you, you would have ended up with a bruise and possibly a minor concussion, but nothing nearly as severe as what he delivered with my strength."

"Data, it's not your fault for being possessed. I'm just glad to have you back."

**I'm ba-ack! Sorry this took so long but I've had a lot going on, and then I got a plot bunny for a DS9 story that wouldn't leave me alone until I took the time to write it. DS9 fans can find the fic on my profile, it's called "Nothing" and is based on the fifth season DS9 episode "Children of Time." **

**Please Review.**


	6. Chapter Six: The First Meeting

**Big Doors**

**Disclaimer: **If you recognize it, it's not mine. This is an AU story.

_**Chapter Six: The First Meeting  
**_

"Tasha, do you have a minute?"

"Of course." She turned to see Kate walking behind her.

"You've known the Captain for some time. I think I need some advice. I don't seem to be dealing with him very well."

"Oh?"

"Well, my arguments don't seem to have any affect on him. We just end up quoting regulations to each other. He has such a consuming dedication to his ship, he doesn't seem able to step back to see the human side of the equation."

"I disagree. He may not always show it, but I've seen with my own eyes that he can and does see the human side of things."

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"Are you sure about this?"

"Someone has to prove they're harmless."

"And what if you're wrong - I know, I know." Tasha cut off the argument she knew was coming. "You know you're right. But what if you're not? It could mean your life and we both know it."

"I'm willing to take that risk?"

"But what about the ship?"

"They'll find another Chief Medical Officer. I'm not the first and I won't be the last. I'm replaceable."

"No, you're not." The words slipped from Tasha's lips before she realized what she was saying.

"Tasha, even the best doctor can be - oh." She stopped short as realization hit her. "You're not talking professionally, are you?"

"I guess I'm not."

"Tasha, I'm convinced I'm right. Just trust me."

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Tasha froze when she heard the doctor's sudden gasp of pain. She heard but barely registered Picard asking for an explanation. But her friend's response seemed to echo in her mind.

"Arthritic inflammation. It's the initial symptom of the disease."

Tasha lost the rest of the conversation. She was frozen in shock, unable to believe what was happening.

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"Come in." Picard looked up to see Tasha standing in the doorway of his ready room.

"Captain, what do you have?"

"They deleted the transporter logs," he said quietly. "I'm sure she and Data will be working on the station to figure out what caused the disease. Once we know we might be able to reverse it."

"Captain, we have to do something."

"You're very close to her. I could tell that from the first time you were reunited. You only said you'd met, but I could tell there was more. What exactly happened in those two weeks you spent on the _Saratoga_?"

Tasha's answer came after a long hesitation and was barely more than a whisper. "She saved my life."

_She curled up in a tiny corner between two buildings, shivering from the cold, trying to wrap the remains of her shredded clothing around herself. Hot tears slid down her cheeks._

_They had caught her. She had been so intent on getting away from the men that she hadn't realized she was being chased into a dead end. They had blocked her in and had their way with her. They had torn her clothes off her, beaten her, and raped her, one after another, all of them coming back again and again, for no reason except because they could. It had taken them hours to finally tire of this sport. Then they had run off, leaving her injured, hurting, and almost naked. Only sheer willpower had allowed her to get to a safer place before her strength gave out completely._

_Her head snapped up when she heard footsteps. A lot of footsteps, all running. She heard voices too. They were speaking too softly for her to make out the words, but she knew that it could only be another rape gang._

_Maybe they wouldn't notice her. Maybe -_

_"There's someone there." A member of the group turned. A light was shined right into the corner where she was hiding._

_"What are you doing there?" one man demanded. "You were eavesdropping!"_

_"No. I wasn't. Please -" She wanted to beg them to leave, not to hurt her when she was already hurting so badly, but the words wouldn't come. "Please -"_

_"Commander." The voice was sharp, but what shocked Tasha was that it was female. The rape gangs were always all men. Maybe she was just mishearing the voice. "It's possible she really wasn't eavesdropping. We're in a public space, she could be here for any number of reasons."_

_"If you're not eavesdropping, then why are you here?"_

_"Sir." That was another female-sounding voice. "I think she's hurt."_

_The person who had spoken stepped into the light, and Tasha saw that she was unmistakably female. She was a young woman with blond hair that curled above her shoulders, and Tasha for the first time noticed her clothes and the clothes of the rest of the group. Except for differences in color, they all matched perfectly, and they seemed to be in perfect repair. Tasha realized that these people weren't like anyone she'd ever met._

_The blond woman stepped forward and knelt down in front of Tasha. She pulled a small device from a case she was carrying. She pulled a small cylindrical object from the device and waved it over the length of Tasha's body._

_"My God!" The woman was staring at the device in shock. "What in the world happened to you?" She turned. "Commander, I'm taking her back to the ship. This girl is seriously injured and needs medical attention." She pressed her badge, which made a chirping sound. "Two to beam directly to Sickbay." She reached out and took Tasha's hand. "It's going to be all right, honey."_

_Tasha felt a strange tingling sensation, and then, inexplicably, she was sitting in a brightly-lit room full of cots and large screens._

_The woman helped her to her feet and helped her lie down on one of the cots. "Can you tell me how you were hurt?"_

_Tasha didn't see any reason to lie. "I was caught by a rape gang."_

_The woman's face flashed with sudden anger. "You mean someone did this deliberately? And raped you on top of it?"_

_"Yes, actually a group of people." Tasha winced when the woman seemed to become even more angry. "I'm sorry."_

_"You poor darling." The woman laid a gentle hand on Tasha's cheek. "Don't you dare apologize. It's them who should be apologizing." She grabbed another device. "You've got a couple of cracked ribs. This will heal that. What's your name?"_

_"Tasha Yar."_

_"I'm Kate Pulaski, Chief Medical Officer, USS _Saratoga._" She picked up another instrument. "This will heal the superficial injuries." It took her a minute to finish, there were so many. "Now, how about something to eat? You're much too thin."_

_Tasha hadn't eaten in days, and she was so hungry her stomach ached. The idea of food was so tempting, but she didn't dare do anything but come clean. "I don't have anything to give you."_

_"I'm not asking for anything. Now, I know you're hungry, I saw how you reacted when I mentioned food." She walked over to a box installed in the wall. "Pulaski's Chicken Soup and a sourdough roll."_

_Tasha stared in amazement as the requested items shimmered into existence. The doctor placed the plate in front of her. "Eat, you need it."_

_Her hunger outweighed her apprehension. She inhaled the entire meal in a few short minutes. She'd never tasted such wonderful food in her life._

_"I want you here overnight," the doctor said. "Who do you live with?"_

_"I don't live with anyone."_

_"No, I mean, who normally takes care of you?"_

_"I take care of myself."_

_The woman - Kate - seemed surprised. "How old are you?"_

_"Fifteen."_

_"Where are your parents?"_

_"They were killed ten years ago. We moved in with some other people but then they were killed too. After that, I had to take care of my sister."_

_"What kind of a place is this?" She quickly reverted to her professional manner. "Where's your sister? I don't want to leave a child alone down there."_

_"I haven't seen her in weeks. She joined the Coalition."_

_Kate seemed to sense that the subject was sensitive; at any rate, she didn't ask any more questions. "You stay here, then. I don't want you going back to that planet until I can find a way to make you safer."_

_"I don't want to go back, Doctor." Tasha winced as soon as the words were out of her mouth. Why had she said that? She already owed the woman so much and here she was asking for more._

_"I don't blame you." The doctor's kind expression didn't change. "There is another option."_

_"What is it?" Tasha couldn't believe what she was hearing. Would she really be able to leave as she had longed to do for so many years?_

_"The Federation has set up systems to help orphaned children. I could turn you over to them at our next starbase. They'd help find you a foster family to live with, someone to take care of you until you're legally an adult."_

_"And you'd do that for me?"_

_"Of course I would."_

_"Why are you doing all this? I can't give you anything in return."_

_"Tell me something, Tasha. When you took care of your sister, did you expect anything in return?"_

_"Of course not!"_

_"I'm taking care of you the way you took care of your sister. Not because I'm going to get anything out of it, but because it's the right thing to do, and because I care about you."_

_"Is this what it's like?" Tasha whispered._

_"What what's like?"_

_"Having a mother. I barely remember mine. I've always wondered what it was like."_

_Kate's eyes filled with tears. "Come here." She opened her arms and Tasha slowly leaned into them. For some inexplicable reason, she felt safe there._

_"I hope it is," Kate whispered, stroking Tasha's hair. "God knows you deserve to have one."_

"Tasha?"

"Captain?"

"I've been trying to get your attention for the last minute."

"Sorry, sir. I was just thinking."

"You said she saved your life."

"She did. And now I'm here, helpless to save hers."

"Natasha." He met her eyes. "I'm truly sorry."

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"I am sorry I could not be more helpful, Doctor Pulaski."

The now-aged woman smiled at the android. "You did everything you could, Commander. As androids go, you're in a class by yourself." She took his hand. " Please give my best to the Captain. And Data, a personal request. Take care of Tasha. She really loves you, you know."

"Yes, Doctor. I know. And I will, I promise." He stepped aside. "Enterprise. Commander Data ready to beam aboard."

He was met in the transporter room by Captain Picard and Tasha.

"Data, tell me," Picard began urgently. "If the -" He interrupted himself. "It's good to see you again."

"Thank you, sir."

"Now, quickly. If the changes in Doctor Pulaski's DNA were reversed, would it be possible -"

"It is not reversible, sir. The subtle molecular transposition of -"

"Yes, yes, yes." He waved that part off. "But, say, if it were undone, would she be normal again?"

"As normal as ever, sir."

He turned to Chief O'Brien. "You said that the transporter could be modified to filter out the changes in Doctor Pulaski?"

"Yes, sir, but we were unable to locate her trace pattern."

"What if we used a sample of her DNA, say from a blood test taken before she was exposed to the disease? Could that be used to filter out the genetic changes?"

"Well, I'd have to get into the biofilter bus to patch in a molecular matrix reader. That's no problem. But the waveform modulator will be overloaded without the regeneration limiter in the first stage circuit."

"But can you do it?" Tasha asked.

"I think so."

"Then make it so." Picard hurried out with Data and Tasha close behind him.

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Tasha stood in the transporter room, watching anxiously as the Captain and O'Brien discussed the modifications. If the situation hadn't been so grim, she would have laughed at the fact that the worst-case scenario they were discussing was the very reason Kate so feared the transporter.

Picard took the controls from O'Brien. Geordi and Data finished putting the transporter room back together and came to stand beside Tasha. Data reached out and took her hand.

"Here we go." Picard activated the transporter. An image of the doctor shimmered into view - the doctor as she had become, an old woman.

"It's not working," he said desperately. Tasha leaned into Data's shoulder, unable to tear her eyes from the shimmering figure.

"Captain, wait!" O'Brien began pushing buttons on his console and then, to everyone's amazement, the image shifted and became the doctor as she had been.

She stepped off the transporter pad. Picard hurried up to her and they met in a brief embrace. She shook hands with Geordi and Data and then caught Tasha in an embrace as well.

"You're all right." Tasha's voice was trembling.

"I'm all right." Kate held Tasha just as she had in the _Saratoga_'s sickbay so many years ago. "I'm all right."

**Woo-hoo! Two chapters in less than 24 hours! I'm on a roll! I hope this makes up for not updating for so long.**

**Please review. I'm not going to comment on the lack of reviews for chapter five, considering the fact that it hasn't been up a full day yet, but I am hoping for a lot of reviews in exchange for cranking this one out so fast.**


	7. Chapter Seven: Trials at Trial

**Big Doors**

**Disclaimer: **If you recognize it, it's not mine. This is an AU story.

_**Chapter Seven: Trials at Trial**_

Everyone groaned out loud as Riker turned over his cards. For the second time that night, his hand was worthless, and yet he'd won.

"Data, why didn't you stay in?" Geordi asked. "You should've realized he was bluffing this time."

"But he had already done it once, Geordi. Now that I knew his trick, it did not seem likely that he would attempt it a second time."

Tasha shook her head, smiling. "If the shoe fits, wear it."

"I do not see what footwear has to do with this game."

"Expression, Data, expression." Kate laughed.

"Ah. You are attempting to imply that if a strategy is successful, it is a good idea to continue to use it."

Tasha nodded. "Exactly."

"Is it not also said 'fool me once, shame on you -'"

"Fool me twice, shame on me? Don't worry, Data. That doesn't apply to poker."

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"I am going to disassemble Data."

"What?" Tasha spun around at the tactical console. "You can't just do that!"

"I most certainly can, _Lieutenant_." He spat her rank like a slur.

"What gives you the right to just take somebody apart?"

"Lieutenant, please. We're talking about a machine."

"We're talking about a person!"

"Lieutenant." Picard put up a hand. "That's enough. Commander Maddox, Mr. Data, I'd like to speak to both of you in the Observation Lounge. Immediately."

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The door chimed. Tasha ignored it.

It chimed again. Then: "Tasha? May I come in?"

"Data! Of course."

The door slid open and he stepped through. "I thought I should tell you first. I am resigning from Starfleet."

"What?"

"I cannot refuse my transfer, Tasha. And once I am under Commander Maddox's control, there is no guarantee that he will not continue the experiment without my consent."

"That's not fair, Data. You shouldn't have to give up on what you've been working towards all your life to keep yourself from having to submit to a dangerous procedure."

"As Doctor Pulaski would no doubt remind us, life is rarely fair."

"It's not just unfair, it's unjust and it's wrong. If you were human -"

"I am not human."

"Well, neither is Worf! Neither is half of Starfleet! No one's running any experiments on any of them. They've decided that can do whatever they want because you happen to be different, because your body is made of circuitry instead of flesh and blood. They've all but said you're not alive!"

"That would be an accurate assessment of the situation."

Data's customary logical response finally stopped her rant. "What are you going to do now?"

"I do not know. There are endless options open to me. I have considered returning to Earth."

"Whatever you do, Data, you have to promise me one thing."

"What?"

"Call me every day. And come visit me whenever you can."

"I believe that is two things." Tasha couldn't tell if he was serious or trying to make a joke. "But I will promise to do both."

"I'm going to miss you so much." Tasha threw her arms around his neck and kissed him.

Data held her close. "I will miss you as well."

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"Wait, let me get this straight." Tasha barely refrained from pacing the captain's ready room.. "Data can't refuse the transfer, he can't refuse the procedure once he's been transferred, and he can't resign. Where does that leave him?"

The Captain sighed. "Unfortunately, without a lot of options. But Captain Louvois has agreed to call a hearing. I will defend Data, and Commander Riker will prosecute - Lieutenant." He forestalled the tirade he knew was coming. "It was not his decision. If he had not agreed to prosecute, Captain Louvois would have ruled summarily against Data."

"Sorry, sir."

"I understand this isn't easy for you. But back to the matter at hand. I wish to call you as a witness."

"Me, sir?"

"You know Data perhaps better than anyone on this ship. He will have a chance to speak for himself, but I want you to attest to his humanity."

Tasha swallowed the lump in her throat. "Of course, sir."

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"I call Lieutenant Natasha Yar to the stand."

Tasha placed her hand on the console and allowed the computer to verify her identity. She hardly heard its confirmation. Her eyes were locked on Data.

"Lieutenant, when did you first meet Mr. Data?"

"When I was at Starfleet Academy. We were separated for some years and became reacquainted when we were both posted to the _Enterprise._"

Picard started a little - she'd never told him she'd known Data before the _Enterprise_. He recovered swiftly, however. "What is the nature of your relationship?"

"We are seeing each other."

"Lieutenant, could you describe Mr. Data as you perceive him?"

"He is a machine. I do not deny that; as you yourself said, no one here is denying that. But he is also a man, a sentient being. He is capable of forming personal relationships. He has a best friend, which points to the ability to form a preference. He made the conscious decision to enter into the relationship he and I have today. He may not have emotions as you or I do, but he has feelings in his own way. When we believed he would be resigning, we spoke and he said that he would miss me. He could not miss me if he did not care for me. When I was upset over the loss of someone I had become close to, he comforted and took care of me. When his body was possessed by an alien entity, and the entity injured several people, he expressed feelings of guilt for his actions. These are not the actions of a - a box on wheels, as Commander Maddox said. They are the actions of a man."

"Thank you, Lieutenant. I have no further questions for this witness."

"Commander Riker, do you wish to cross?" Captain Louvois asked.

"I do." Riker stood. "Lieutenant, besides Commander Data, how many relationships have you been involved in?"

"Very few, and none serious."

"Lieutenant, have you engaged in -" he struggled for a court-appropriate word, "physical intimacy with Commander Data?"

"Objection! This line of questioning is not relevant."

"I beg the court's indulgence. The purpose of these questions will become clear."

"Objection overruled. Answer the question, Lieutenant."

"Once."

"Was this at the beginning of your relationship?" Will pressed

"Yes."

"Lieutenant, you grew up on a failed colony, correct?"

"Correct."

"And on this world, rape was a constant threat?"

"Yes." Tasha clenched her hands in her lap.

"And you yourself were subject to rape and sexual trauma multiple times over the course of your childhood?"

Tasha couldn't speak. She gave a slight nod and Riker went on.

"Then doesn't it stand to reason that you'd have a skewed perspective of Data, as the only real lover you've ever had, because your only point of comparison is the men who sexually abused you throughout your childhood?"

"Objection!" Picard yelled.

"Objection sustained!" Louvois snapped. "You're out of order, Commander."

"No further questions."

"You may step down." Tasha realized that the JAG's voice had softened a fraction.

Tasha stood shakily and walked back to the table, barely hearing Picard call the next witness. She sat down and buried her face in her hands, trying to get her control back. A gentle arm wrapped around her shoulders.

"Are you all right?" Data whispered.

"Just a little shaken. I don't like to think about it." Tasha spoke so quietly she could barely hear her own voice, but she knew Data would hear.

Picard asked Data a couple of questions which he answered, his arm never moving from its position around Tasha's shoulders. She still wasn't really listening, but tuned back in when she heard Picard snap, "What is he?"

"A machine," Maddox responded.

"Is he? Are you sure?"

"Yes!"

"You see, he's met two of your three criteria for sentience, so what if he meets the third. Consciousness in even the smallest degree. What is he then? I don't know. Do you?" He turned to Riker. "Do you?" He repeated the question, this time to Captain Louvois. "Do you? Well, that's the question you have to answer. Your Honor, the courtroom is a crucible. In it we burn away irrelevancies until we are left with a pure product, the truth for all time. Now, sooner or later, this man or others like him will succeed in replicating Commander Data. And the decision you reach here today will determine how we will regard this creation of our genius. It will reveal the kind of a people we are, what he is destined to be. It will reach far beyond this courtroom and this one android. It could significantly redefine the boundaries of personal liberty and freedom, expanding them for some, savagely curtailing them for others. Are you prepared to condemn him and all who come after him to servitude and slavery? Your Honor, Starfleet was founded to seek out new life. Well, there it sits. Waiting." He approached her and continued more softly. "You wanted a chance to make law. Well, here it is. Make a good one."

Louvois stared at Data for a long moment. It sits there looking at me, and I don't know what it is. This case has dealt with metaphysics, with questions best left to saints and philosophers. I'm neither competent nor qualified to answer those. I've got to make a ruling, to try to speak to the future. Is Data a machine? Yes. Is he the property of Starfleet?"

The brief pause was the longest moment of Tasha's life.

"No."

Tasha seized Data's free hand in a grip that would have been painful to a human.

"We have all been dancing around the basic issue. Does Data have a soul? I don't know that he has. I don't know that I have. But I have got to give him the freedom to explore that question himself. It is the ruling of this court that Lieutenant Commander Data has the freedom to choose."

Data disentangled himself from Tasha - no small feat as she was embracing him tightly, all sense of protocol lost - and walked up to Maddox. "I formally refuse to undergo your procedure."

"I will cancel the transfer order." Maddox still seemed slightly shell-shocked.

"Thank you. And, Commander, continue your work. When you are ready, I will still be here. I find some of what you propose intriguing." He took Tasha's hand and they left together.

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"Tasha?"

"Don't talk to me."

"Tasha." Will put his hand on her shoulder. She shrugged it off. "I would rather have died than argue that Data was a machine. You know me, Tasha."

"Do I? I thought I did."

"What are you talking about? I didn't like prosecuting Data any more than -"

"This isn't about Data! How could you take advantage of me like that? I trusted you, and you betrayed me."

"Betrayed you?"

"I can't even think about the rape gangs without feeling like I'm back there, and you had to go and bring it up. You put me through one of those flashbacks in front of the entire court, and you told two complete strangers that I'd been raped. And then you have the nerve to ask why I'm upset."

"Tasha, I - I don't know what to say."

"It doesn't matter. You'd just be saying it to get back in my good books. Don't say anything unless you mean it." She stormed out and Will slumped down in the chair, putting his face in his hands.

"Commander?"

Will looked up to find Data staring at him.

"Is something wrong?"

"Is something _not_ wrong? I prosecuted one of my best friends, removed his arm, even _turned him off_. If Maddox had won I never would have forgiven myself. I don't even know if I can forgive myself now. I was so close to winning. And if that wasn't bad enough, I had to go and hurt Tasha too."

"Is it not true that had you refused to prosecute, Captain Louvois would have ruled summarily against me?"

"Well - yes."

"That action injured you, and saved me. I will not forget it."

"And Tasha?"

"That is more difficult, but I know that if you sincerely regret it, she will forgive you."

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"Will? What do you want?"

"To apologize. Captain Louvois was right. What I said was out of line. I was so desperate to prove that I was really trying that I overcompensated, and I hurt you, and I understand if you can't forgive me, but I want you to know I really am sorry."

"I know you are." She still wouldn't look at him, but her voice had softened. "You just - you don't understand. No one does - no one _could_, unless they went through what I did."

Will gently laid his hand on her shoulder and was encouraged when she didn't shrug it off. "You're right. You're absolutely right. No one here knows what you've been through. But that doesn't mean you can't talk to us. Maybe we can't relate. Maybe we can't even begin to imagine. But we can listen and we can take care of you."

Finally, she met his eyes. "I don't want to drag you into my problems."

"Talking won't hurt anyone, Tasha. And I'm no counselor, but I can tell that not talking is doing serious damage. I don't want to minimize what you went through, but this happened years ago. If you still can't even think about it without getting upset, then there's something wrong." He put his arms around her and pulled her close. "Let us help."

"Apology accepted." She tried to smile but her voice was choked. "You really know how to make a big production out of things, don't you?"

"You're the baby sister of the senior staff. It's our job to make a big production out of you."

**This took forever, I know. I'm sorry, I'm sorry! My only defense is that because this story point is so important to the plot, I wanted to take the time to get it right.**

**I went back and revised this to fit with my **_**Perfectly Logical **_**timeline of Tasha and Data's first meeting.**

**Please review.**


	8. Chapter Eight: Contagion Catastrophe

**Big Doors**

**Disclaimer: **If you recognize it, it's not mine. This is an AU story.

_**Chapter Eight: Contagion Catastrophe**_

"Captain, magnetic seals in the antimatter chamber are decaying!"

"Captain!" Picard's tone took on an extra note of urgency. "Donald! Come in!"

The badly distorted screen image snapped out completely, and then the _Yamato _flared up and exploded in a giant fireball.

"Shields up." Picard sounded dazed to say the least.

Tasha reacted on instinct and managed to get the shields up just seconds before a large fragment of debris collided with them. The saucer section came into view, and it was clearly burning up.

"Sensors indicate no life readings, sir." Data spoke in the calm tone that only he could under such circumstances.

Tasha's console beeped, and she managed to tear her eyes from the wreckage long enough to glance at it. "There's another ship coming into sensor range. Romulan."

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"Ouch!"

"Tasha, are you all right?"

"I'm fine. But the cup my tea was in just - shattered for no reason. Dish towel," she added. The replicator shimmered, and a plate of spaghetti shimmered into existence.

"That should not have happened. Data to La Forge."

"What now?" Tasha noticed that Geordi sounded more annoyed than was typical for the usually easygoing man. Data, of course, noticed nothing.

"We appear to be having some difficulty with the replicator in Tasha's quarters."

"Yeah, well no offense but the replicators are _not_ a priority. We're having the same problems the _Yamato _did. Random systems are malfunctioning all over the ship."

"You don't think-" Tasha began.

"I don't know." Geordi sighed. "I'm hoping to prevent a crisis, though."

xxxxxxxxx

"Is that Iconia?" Will asked.

"Captain Varley died believing that it was." Picard's words were still heavy with the weight of this loss.

A light flashed on the surface, and Will's attention was immediately grasped. "Did you see that?"

Tasha's console beeped a warning. "There's been a projectile launched from the planet's surface."

"Its size and composition match the probe which scanned the Yamato, sir." Data reported.

"Shields up. Prepare a tractor beam," he ordered. "Mister La Forge, I'm going to assist you in your research. A probe has been launched from Iconia. I'm going to capture it."

"The probe will enter tractor range in one minute."

"Thank you, Mr. Data. Let's hope this sheds some light on our situation."

"The probe will enter range in fifteen seconds."

"Tractor beam ready." Tasha had barely finished her sentence when the turbolift door opened with a strange sound and Geordi tumbled out head-over-heels.

Will was at his side in an instant. "Are you all right?"

Geordi scrambled to his feet, and Tasha noticed for the first time that he was clutching his VISOR in one hand. "Destroy the probe, sir! Quickly!"

"Tasha, target phasers!"

"Phasers locked on target!"

"Fire!"

The probe exploded, and Picard turned to Geordi. "Welcome to the bridge, Mr. La Forge."

xxxxxxxxx

"Captain, there is a vast underground power source which is controlled by this console. I believe my triggering of the gateway has caused a dramatic upsurge in power level. Ah, I have access." Data's last pronouncement was cut short when an energy discharge hit him. He stood motionless for a moment before collapsing into Tasha.

"Data, can you hear me?" Picard demanded. "Data, respond."

"Captain." Data's voice was choppy.

"Are you all right?" Tasha asked.

"No, I am damaged."

"How bad is it?" Picard was clearly trying to stay calm.

"The Iconian program is attempting to rewrite my software. Physical manifestations, blindness, motor con-"

"Captain!" Tasha gasped as the gateway shifted again. "The _Enterprise_!"

"How long is the interval?"

"About four minutes."

"The next time the Enterprise appears, go through it with Data. Geordi will be able to learn from him. Maybe help him."

"Yes, sir."

"Destroy the tricorder."

"But sir, all the information..."

"Is precisely why it must be destroyed. How long?"

"About three minutes." Tasha placed the tricorder on the ground, set her phaser to maximum, and fired, vaporizing it.

"I'm running out of time. We all are. Data. Data, I have to destroy this. This control room and its technology must not be allowed to fall into Romulan hands."

"I understand, sir." Data's voice was getting choppier each time he spoke.

"How! How do I do it? How do I destroy everything? The control room, the probes, all of it."

"The power source, sir."

"I detonate it. But how? How do I do that?"

"The probes, sir."

"Probes? The probes. Launch? I launch the probes? But why? What's good will that do?"

"Doors, sir."

"Doors?"

"A launch bay!" Tasha finally figured out what Data was saying.

"And if the doors are closed, then the backwash from the rockets will spill into the power grids and there'll be an overload."

"Yes, sir."

"But the doors will open automatically when the launch begins." He paused, then realized the last piece of the puzzle. "And I will override."

"Correct, sir."

"Which control keys? Damn. Of course, you can't see."

"Describe, please."

"I'm standing directly in front of the gate. To my left there is a small triangular screen."

"Right one meter."

"Right. Now, to my right is a larger triangular screen. The top is solid amber. To the left, red-"

"Correct key sequence," Data interrupted, "blue-amber-amber-red."

"That's the launch sequence? How do I override the doors?"

"Blue-blue-blue."

Picard half-smiled. "I hope that's not a stutter. I don't know how long a delay there will be between the launch and the detonation. I'll hold keying the launch sequence until you're through the gate. How long until the Enterprise reappears?"

"Almost time. Captain, you'll be killed!"

"I'll go through the gate."

"And end up where?"

"Very shortly, anywhere will be preferable to this room. Tasha, I am depending on you. You must get Data back to the Enterprise. He may be their only hope."

"Captain, the rotation right before the _Enterprise _is the Romulan ship - there, see? If you wait until you see it, you should be able to key the sequence and then get back aboard safely."

"Understood." The image shifted. "Now go."

Tasha slung Data's arm over her shoulder and half-carried, half-dragged him through the archway in a maneuver that reminded Picard of how she had carried a colonist much larger than herself the first time he'd ever seen her.

"Commander, look!" a crewman called out as Tasha and Data appeared seemingly out of nowhere.

"Tasha! What happened? Where's the Captain?"

"No time to explain. We have to get Data to Engineering, now!"

Without another question, Will took Data's other side and helped Tasha carry him to the turbolift. Thankfully, they managed to avoid an experience like Geordi's, but to Tasha, a simple turbolift ride had never seemed to take so long.

"What the hell?" Geordi quickly took stock of the situation. "Bring him over here."

Tasha and Will quickly laid him down on a table and Geordi got to work, becoming more frustrated by the second.

"Geordi!" Will finally spoke, unable to keep silent. "What's happening?"

"I don't know how to help him. But comparing recorded norms for Data to the current readings, it's clear that all his functions are just going crazy. If we had an expert, a Maddox, somebody, I -" he cut off as the tricorder's incessant beeping turned to a long whine. When he spoke again, his voice was barely above a whisper. "He's gone."

"No." Tasha just stared. "No! You're lying! Don't lie to me, Geordi! You're my friend, don't lie to me!"

He put his arms around her tightly, offering comfort while simultaneously restraining her from lashing out at him or anyone else. Movement behind her made him look up, and he gasped. "Data!"

Tasha's head snapped around. Data was sitting up, looking for all the world as if the past few minutes had never happened. "Data!"

"What the hell?" Will was just as flabbergasted.

"I am accessing." The measured, logical voice was music to Tasha's ears. She had thought she'd never hear it again.

Geordi's eyes were hidden behind the VISOR, but Tasha could practically hear them widen with realization. "The self-correcting mechanism! It's constantly kicking in to make minute adjustments in the positronic brain."

"I am on the _Enterprise_. How did I get here?"

"He cleared the Iconian program from his own system. How?" Will demanded.

"Iconia?" Data looked around, still puzzled. "I was on Iconia, now I am on the Enterprise."

Will ignored Data completely. "Geordi, this is critical, how?"

"Okay, give me a second to think. There was an incompatible program running through Data's system, so the mechanism started searching for a way to keep him alive. The solution. The solution was a shutdown and a total wipe of all affected memory. "

"Query: What have I forgotten?"

"Can you do the same thing with the Enterprise?"

"I don't see why not, but it will have to be a complete shutdown. We turn her off, and effect a wipe of the Yamato log including every subsequent event since we downloaded it. I'll then be able to reload all the ship's programs from the protected archives in the main core. "

"Geordi, if we shut down that means we're going to be bringing down the shields, and we're hanging nose to nose with a Romulan battle cruiser."

"Hey, Commander, whether it's Romulan phasers or our own warp engines, we're just as dead."

"Besides," Tasha pointed out, "their systems are likely as erratic as ours. I'd be willing to bet they couldn't shoot us even if they tried."

"Make it so." Will and Geordi both turned and began preparations for the procedure. Data glanced around again.

"May I help?" He'd barely gotten the words out when Tasha grabbed him in a tight hug.

"Oh, God," she whispered. "I thought I'd lost you."

Data patted her back a little awkwardly, searching his memory banks for the proper response. What he finally came out with was a simple "I am all right."

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Data looked up from his computer console when he heard the door chime. "Come in." The door slid open, and he took notice of the visitor. "Tasha. It is late."

"I couldn't sleep. Every time I close my eyes, I see you lying on that table, so still-" She choked off. "I had to come see you."

"Perhaps it would help if you stayed in here? The bedroom has never been used, but it is fully furnished."

"It might. Thank you, Data." She kissed him gently across the console.

Data half-smiled as she walked into the bedroom, then turned back to his work. It was a lot to get done, even for an android, but this didn't keep him from stopping as soon as he heard soft whimpering from the bedroom. And when Tasha, still asleep, grabbed his wrist to prevent him leaving, he decided the work could wait until morning.

**Please Review. I actually for once don't have anything else to say.**


	9. Chapter Nine: Events Unexpected

**Big Doors**

**Disclaimer: **If you recognize it, it's not mine. This is an AU story.

_**Chapter Nine: Events Unexpected**_

"Captain."

"Ah, Tasha. I assume this has something to do with Lieutenant Gionfriddo's departure?"

"Yes, sir."

"She was a good officer, and a wonderful assistant chief of security. She'll be hard to replace."

"Actually, sir, I had a replacement in mind. That's what I'm here for."

"Well, by all means, let's hear it."

"Lieutenant Worf, sir. I know he's not technically a security officer, but it is what he was trained for, and I frankly think -"

"Lieutenant." Picard cut her long-winded explanation short. "Request approved."

"Right." Tasha had the grace to look embarrassed. "So do you want to tell him or should I?"

"You do it, Tasha. It was your idea. And Tasha?"

"Sir?"

"That would have been my recommendation."

"Understood, sir."

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"Worf, could I have a word?"

"Of course."

"Bad news first. You're no longer relief officer."

"Have I failed to perform adequately?"

"On the contrary, your service has been exemplary. But frankly, there are a lot of people on this ship who can fill that position. I'm losing a good assistant chief of security. I need an equally good officer to replace her."

"You are asking me?"

"I've already cleared it with Captain Picard."

"I am honored. But are you certain you want me, and that the captain has allowed it? He refused me a security post when I first applied."

"I'll let you in on something. After I requested you, the Captain told me that he had been planning to recommend you for the position."

"I will do my best not to disappoint either of you."

"I'm sure you won't. And Mr. Worf, congratulations. You're not getting anything you haven't earned."

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"Will? What's going on?"

"Huh? Oh, nothing."

"Don't give me that. I'm your little sister, remember? I know you too well." She sat down across from him. "It's your father, isn't it?"

"That obvious, huh?"

"That obvious. Will, you've been mad at him for what, fifteen years? Longer? Why don't you at least try to patch things up?"

"You don't understand. If you'd had a relationship with your father like I've had with mine-"

"Then at least I'd _have_ a father!"

Tasha's sharp statement finally got through to Will. "My God, Tasha, I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking."

"That much is obvious."

"Ouch." He half-smiled.

"Just go talk to him Take that chance while you have it. If I could talk to my father, even for a few minutes -" She had to cut herself off so she wouldn't cry.

Gentle hands on her shoulders made her look up. Will was standing right in front of her, offering comfort while at the same time keeping his distance.

"All right, I'll go talk to him."

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"How's Worf?"

Tasha turned to smile at Will. "He's still in a lot of pain, but he says he's never felt better. And what about you?"

"Dad and I were finally able to talk it out."

"Don't you mean fight it out?"

"That was first. The talking came later. But I think it helped that I realized that, as bad as I had it with Dad, I could've had it worse. A lot worse. And I'm sorry for being stupid enough to have to be told that."

"It's not stupid, it's human. You had a tough time with your father, I'm not denying that, and it never occurred to you that there was a worse alternative."

"All the same, I owe you one."

"Well, I'm glad I could help - Captain."

He grinned and shook his head. "Just Commander. I've decided I like it where I am."

She grinned back. "The _Aries_' loss is the _Enterprise_'s gain."

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"Data? Who were you talking to?"

"Her name is Sarjenka. She is an inhabitant of the planet Drema Four."

"I thought the Dremans didn't have space travel."

"They do not."

"Data!"

"Yes?"

"What the hell were you thinking? Talking to her is violating the Prime Directive."

"I recieved a message from her. Four words: 'is anyone out there?' I responded. She is frightened. It does not seem right to cease communications. And my knowledge of you suggests that in my position, you would not."

"Huh." She smiled. "You're right, I wouldn't, but who would've figured you for a softie?" She kissed him gently.

"Softie? Ah. A person who is softhearted or sentimental. But I know you are aware that I have no heart, and that I am incapable of sentiment."

"Says you."

Data's response was cut off by another kiss.

"All the same," Tasha said eventually, "I suppose you ought to tell the captain."

xxxxxxxxx

Even before the meeting began, Tasha had a pretty good idea of who would be on which side. Data would want to help the little girl and her people, and Tasha was inclined to support him. Kate would agree; she had never placed the Prime Directive above saving lives. Geordi would probably back up Data too. Worf would want to stick to the Prime Directive no matter what. The Captain would introduce the topic and then keep the appearance of neutrality until everyone else had spoken their minds. Will and Deanna were harder to predict. Both of them could go either way.

"It is no longer a matter of how wrong Data was, or why he did it," Picard concluded. "The dilemma exists. We have to discuss the options. And please talk freely."

"There are no options," Worf insisted, just as Tasha had expected him to. "The Prime Directive is not a matter of degrees. It is an absolute."

"I have a problem with that kind of rigidity." Kate, too, reacted just as Tasha had expected. "It seems callous and even a little cowardly.

"Doctor." Picard stepped in before Pulaski could say anything else to offend Worf. "I'm sure that is not what the Lieutenant meant, but in a situation like this, we have to be cautious. What we do today may profoundly affect upon the future. If we could see every possible outcome -"

"We'd be gods," Will interrupted, :which we're not. If there is a cosmic plan, is it not the height of hubris to think that we can, or should, interfere?"

"So what are you saying?" Geordi asked. "That the Dremans are fated to die?"

"I think that's an option we should be considering."

"Consider it considered, and rejected!"

"I'm inclined to agree with Geordi," Tasha put in. "I've always believed that our choices are our own. I'm not willing to accept that the future is set in stone."

"If there is a cosmic plan," Deanna put in, "are we not a part of it? Our presence at this place at this moment in time could be a part of that fate."

"Right, and it could be part of that plan that we interfere." Geordi quickly jumped on board with Deanna.

"Well," Will sighed, "that eliminates the possibility of fate."

"But Commander." Data spoke for the first time. "The Dremans are not a subject for philosophical debate. They are a people."

"So we make an exception in the case of the deaths of millions." Picard stated.

"Yes." Kate firmly stuck to her position.

"And is it the same situation if it's an epidemic, and not a geological calamity?"

"Absolutely." She was unruffled.

"How about a war? If generations of conflict is killing millions, do we interfere?"

No one answered.

"Ah, well, now we're all a little less secure in our moral certitude. And what if it's not just killings? If an oppressive government is enslaving millions? You see, the Prime Directive has many different functions, not the least of which is to protect us. To prevent us from allowing our emotions to overwhelm our judgment."

"My emotions are involved," Kate insisted. "Data's friend is going to die. That means something."

"To Data." Worf clearly didn't intend to back down either.

"Does that invalidate the emotion?" Kate demanded.

"It most certainly does not!" Tasha insisted, even as some part of her internally jumped for joy. She saw now that Kate had completely ceased to see Data as another piece of technology and begun to see him as a person.

It was Geordi who offered another alternative. "What if the Dremans asked for our help?"

"Yes," Data agreed. "Sarjenka's transmission could be viewed as a call for help."

"Sophistry," Picard sighed.

"I'll buy that excuse," Kate said almost at the same time. "We're all jigging madly on the head of a pin anyway."

"She cannot ask for help from someone she does not know," Worf insisted.

"She knows me," Data pointed out.

"What a perfectly vicious little circle." Will still had yet to declare a firm position.

"We are going to allow her to die, are we not?" Data could clearly see where the debate was going.

"Data," Picard began, and from the tone of his voice it was clear this was one of the hardest things he'd ever done. "I want you to sever the contact with Drema Four."

In his typical android way, Data didn't argue. He merely walked over to the computer console and began to comply. Then a voice came over the comm system. The voice of a frightened child.

"Data. Data, where are you? Why won't you answer? Are you angry with me? Please, please, I'm so afraid. Data, Data, where are you?"

"Captain, you can't!" Tasha yelled. "Listen to her! She's terrified! How can you ignore that?"

"Wait." Picard interrupted Data just as he moved to cut off the communication. "

"Captain?" The note in Tasha's voice pleaded with him to reconsider his original order.

"Data," he sighed. "Your whisper from the dark has now become a plea. We cannot turn our backs."

xxxxxxxxx

Captain Picard was not amused.

"He has brought a child onto my ship and on my Bridge!"

"I'm sure Mister Data has a very good explanation." Will sounded both amused and annoyed.

"I do, sir," Data answered. "She was frightened and did not wish to be left alone."

Picard still seemed put out, but decided not to push the matter. "Mr. Data, kindly assume your station. Counselor, will you escort her to Sickbay?"

The little girl's eyes widened. "No, Data, no. I'm scared. Don't make me go."

"It's all right," Deanna tried to assure her, "no one's going to hurt you."

"No!"

"We'll just go and get a treat, and then-"

"No!"

"Deanna." Tasha signaled to her friend to back off. "Worf, take over for a second."

"Yes, sir."

"Sarjenka?" Tasha approached the little girl carefully. "My name is Tasha. I'm Data's friend."

"You are?" Sarjenka peered out from behind the android.

"Uh-huh." Tasha got down on one knee in order to appear less frightening. "You're very scared, aren't you?"

"Yeah."

"One minute to launch," Worf announced.

"Let me tell you something. The first time I got on a ship like this one, I was scared too. I had one friend, just like you have Data, and I never wanted her to be away from me. But my friend was a doctor. I could stay with her, but she had to take care of other people. And one day a boy came in who had hurt his arm. He was only a couple of years older than me, and my friend told me I should try to be his friend too. And you know what? She was right. He turned out to be a very nice person. And after I met him, I started meeting other people, and most of them were nice too. Data has a lot of friends on the _Enterprise_, like me and Deanna. Do you think you could try to be our friend too?"

"Okay."

"Fifteen seconds to launch."

"Mister Data," Picard sighed, "take your station and keep her with you. This does concern her. Tasha, take yours."

Tasha hurried to relieve Worf, but not before she heard Data say "I will require my hand."

"Firing torpedoes," she announced.

"What are you doing?" Sarjenka asked.

"We are attempting to quiet your planet. If we succeed, there will be no more quakes, no more volcanoes."

Soon - but not soon enough - it was over and everyone breathed a sigh of relief. Picard ordered Data to take Sarjenka to sickbay and didn't object when Tasha joined them.

xxxxxxxxx

"Deanna, you wanted to see me?"

"You were wonderful with Sarjenka, you know."

"Thanks."

"It came as a surprise to me. I know you were close with Ian, of course, but I didn't expect you to go up to a child you'd never met and try to comfort her, much less that you'd manage what I couldn't and actually calm her down."

"Deanna, do you mind if I speak frankly?"

"Not at all."

"Your empathic abilities make it possible for you to feel an - an echo, if you will - of what other people are feeling, but you don't really feel it the way they do. I knew what she was feeling because I'd been where she was."

"And you told her your story -"

"So she'd realize she wasn't alone, that she had someone who could understand how scared she was, and that when I was telling her to trust us, I really knew what I was talking about."

"Maybe you should be the counselor," Deanna teased.

Tasha grinned back. "I'll leave that one to you."

"On a serious note, have you ever considered having children? I've seen the way you interacted with Ian, and with Wesley, and now Sarjenka. You'd be a wonderful mother."

"No. No, I wouldn't."

"What makes you so sure?"

"Just - trust me. I don't want to talk about it."

"Tasha!" But Deanna's call fell on deaf ears as her friend hurried out.

xxxxxxxxx

"Mrs. Troi, Data and I are involved in a relationship. He is quite off-limits." Tasha spoke through her teeth, trying to control her temper.

"He talks too much anyway," she said dismissively. "But I'm glad you came. I've been wanting a word with you."

"About what?"

"About my daughter! You've been a horrible influence on her. Your - your routine is beginning to rub off on her, and it's not something I want her picking up. I want you to stop spending so much time with her."

"Mrs. Troi, who I spend my time with is my business, and who Deanna spends her time with is hers."

"That's exactly the attitude I'm talking about. I'm surprised your own mother allowed it, but then, some women would rather just let their children grow up as spoiled brats. Clearly, your mother was one of them."

"You don't know anything about my mother!"

"I know everything I need to know from observing the behavior of her daughter!"

"Excuse me," Tasha said with forced calm, "but I believe this conversation is over."

She turned back just before reaching the door. "And for the record, my mother is dead."

xxxxxxxxx

"Data, what the hell is wrong with you?"

"I do not understand your question."

"Data, people lose! It happens! It's not a sign of weakness or flaw." She took a deep breath. "Look, people have been playing games against computers for centuries. Do you really think they'd keep playing if they didn't stand a chance? You're extremely advanced, but you're not infallible."

"Doctor Pulaski said -"

"Yes, I heard what she said, and I'll be addressing that issue separately. Now you're the first officer; you'd better be on the bridge when the simulation starts."

xxxxxxxxx

Kolrami threw down the controls in disgust. Data looked puzzled.

"Why have you suspended the game?"

"Because this is not a rematch. You have made a mockery of me!" The supposed strategy master, proven wrong for the second time in as many days, stormed out.

"Data, you beat him!" Will was all but dancing with excitement.

"No, sir," Data corrected, "it is a stalemate."

"No game of Strategema has ever gone this high." Worf made no effort to hide that he was impressed.

"What did you do?" Geordi asked in awe.

"I simply altered my premise for playing the game."

"Explain." Will leaned forward, eager to hear more.

"Working under the assumption that Kolrami was attempting to win, it is reasonable to assume that he expected me to play for the same goal."

"You didn't," Wesley gasped.

"No. I was playing only for a standoff, a draw. While Kolrami was dedicated to winning, I was able to pass up obvious avenues of advancement and settle for a balance. Theoretically, I should be able to challenge him indefinitely. "

"My God, Data, that's brilliant!" Tasha all but squealed.

"Then you have beaten him." Kate was grinning broadly.

"It is a matter of perspective, Doctor. In the strictest sense, I did not win."

"Data!" Tasha, Deanna, and Kate all chided at once.

Data glanced at Kate, and Tasha could have sworn she saw the hint of a sly smile. "I busted him up."

**For the record, this chapter covers the episodes "The Icarus Factor," "Pen Pals," "Manhunt," and "Peak Performance." I wanted to do a bit for "Q Who" but while it's important to the plot of the show, I honestly couldn't find a reason it was important to this story. The first two scenes with Worf weren't drawn from any episode; I just realized I'd never gotten him out of Ops and into Security/Tactical which is where I want him.**

**Gionfriddo is a real last name, which I put in as a shout-out to another writer on this site. If you're reading this, you know who you are.**

**A word to the wise: read this chapter carefully. Several seemingly small details will be making a reappearance in later chapters.**

**Please review.**


	10. Chapter Ten: The Doctor Departs

**Big Doors**

**Disclaimer: **If you recognize it, it's not mine. This is an AU story.

_**Chapter Ten: The Doctor Departs**_

"Doctor -"

"Kate, Tasha, Kate."

"_Kate_. You wanted to see me?"

"Yes, there's something I needed to talk to you about. The captain's going to tell everyone later, but I thought you should hear it first."

"Why do I get the feeling I'm not going to like this?"

"You're probably not. I'm transferring back to the _Repulse._"

"What? Why?"

"Your old chief medical officer -"

"Beverly? What's she got to do with this?"

"I'd tell you if you'd let me finish. She's requested a transfer back into starship medicine, and in light of her former assignment, coupled with her son's position, Starfleet has decided to give her back her former post and send me back to mine."

"That's not fair! They can't do that!"

"I didn't realize you had problems with Dr. Crusher."

"I don't. Beverly and I are friends. What I have a problem with is you leaving."

"Tasha, just because we're not on the same ship doesn't mean we can't continue our friendship."

"That's what you said last time. You never called me at the youth center, not once, and niether did any of the other friends I'd made."

"You mean they never told you?"

"Told me what?"

"A week after I left, I called the center and asked to speak to you. My request was denied. They wouldn't even tell me how you were doing."

"What? Why?"

"They said, and I quote, 'The young people here come from lives best left behind. We prefer to sever all contact with persons from their past in order to facilitate their moving forward.' I tried again several times, and I even tried coming in person, with the same result. I'm assuming the same thing happened to anyone else who tried to contact you."

"The first few weeks I was there, I kept imagining you'd call me, or visit me, or something, and I could tell you how much I hated it there, how horrible it was, and you'd take me away somehow, just like you took me away from Turkana. And when I never heard from you, I thought you'd forgotten about me, that I'd been just another day's work to you."

"My God, no, never." Blinking back tears, Kate enfolded Tasha in a tight embrace. "What did they do to you there? Tell me now. I may not be able to do anything, but I can listen."

"The home was designed for kids like me who needed extra help to get used to the way society worked. Most of them were like me, victims of circumstance, but we were treated like criminals, like it was our fault that we'd ended up the way we were. Now I did things I wasn't proud of. I got myself addicted to drugs, but I'd managed to get off them only a few weeks before you found me. So the center acted like I was still addicted to drugs, or I wanted to start using again, when I'd only started using in the first place because it felt like the only escape from hell. And I was sent to a counselor, but all she did was grind me into the dirt. When I talked about the rape gangs, she made me out to be a sex addict who secretly liked it. When I talked about my sister, she told me I'd been secretly glad when she left me, maybe I even pushed her towards the Coalition so I wouldn't have to take care of her anymore." Tasha's voice was strained with the effort it took not to burst into tears. "That's why it's so hard for me to talk to counselors now, even Deanna and when she's not in her 'professional mode' I can tell her anything."

"Computer, cover office windows," Kate ordered. "It's okay, we're alone. Just cry it all out."

"They taught me that one too," she whispered. "On Turkana, I learned to cry silently, but I cried. But at the center I was punished for crying, because if I cried I was just pitching a fit to get attention. So I learned how to control my tears."

If it was possible, Kate hugged Tasha even more tightly. "Let those walls down. You're only hurting yourself by locking your emotions in this way."

At this point, Tasha could hardly have stopped the flood of her tears if she'd wanted to. She buried her face in her dear friend's shirt and let them come. She felt Kate continuing to comfort her and had never in her life been so grateful for the woman who she'd always regarded as a mixture of mother and older sister.

"If only I'd known I would have come for you in a second." Kate was close to tears herself. "I swear on my life I would have. I never would've left you in that place."

"I know. I see that now." Tasha slowly pulled herself together and lifted her head from the woman's blue jacket. "I'm sorry, I've been bawling all over you."

"Don't apologize, you needed that. From the looks of things, you've needed it for years. It's a jacket, I can replicate another one." She paused. "Tasha, what was the name of that center?"

"Um, the Nebraska Center For Special-Needs Orphaned Youth, usually just NCFS-NOY. Why?"

"It may be too late to do anything for you, but it's not too late to do something for the children still trapped in that place. The first thing I do when I get back to the _Repulse _is put in some inquiries about this center."

Tasha couldn't suppress a soft sigh when she remembered the original reason she'd come to Kate's office. "God, I'm going to miss you so much. There's no one else on the ship I can talk to like this, not even Data."

"Really? Or are you just afraid to trust him?"

Tasha's silence was as good an answer as any.

"Trust him, Tasha. I know he's worthy of it. And if all else fails, you can call me anytime, day or night. I promise."

xxxxxxxxx

Beverly Crusher stepped off the shuttle and glanced around the familiar-yet-foreign shuttlebay. It felt good, if a little strange, to be back.

She paused to collect her thoughts. Now, the first thing she would need to do was -

"MOM!"

"Wesley!" Her bag hit the floor with a crash as she opened her arms to embrace her son. "You've grown some. Keep this up and you're going to be taller than me."

"Welcome aboard, doctor." The captain was only a few steps behind the overexcited ensign.

"It's good to be back, Captain."

Will filed in next, followed by Geordi, Data, Deanna, and Worf. Beverly was kept busy for the next few minutes shaking hands and exchanging greetings.

"Wait a minute." Beverly finally noticed they were short a staff member. "Where's Tasha?"

"Here." Tasha spoke up from the doorway where she had just come in with Kate.

Beverly hurried over to greet Tasha and then performed a quick exchange of command with Kate. Once that was done, Kate turned to the assembled _Enterprise_ staff members.

"I'd just like to say," she began, "that it's been an honor serving with all of you."

Another round of handshakes followed, this time accompanied by farewells. Kate accepted them all, began to walk to the shuttle, then turned back to pull Tasha into a final embrace.

"Am I missing something?" Beverly whispered to Deanna.

"Remember when Tasha said she and Kate had met?"

"Yes."

"I think it's safe to call that the understatement of the century. They were old friends, close friends, and I think they picked up where they left off."

Kate and Tasha separated with a final, whispered goodbye, and then Kate stepped up the ramp and into the shuttle. Just before the hatch closed, she waved one last time, and the entire staff waved back.

xxxxxxxxx

"Computer, bring up all files on record containing phrases Nebraska Center For Special-Needs Orphaned Youth and/or NCFS-NOY."

"Working," it intoned, and then a moment later, "files uploaded."

Kate sat at her terminal, reading through the articles. There were surprisingly few, and none of these mentioned the abuses Tasha had described. In fact, there was a disturbing lack of any information on the programs inside the facility.

But Kate wasn't the type to give up. Maybe public records didn't have the information she was looking for, but someone did, and she wasn't going to stop searching until she found that person and found out what she needed to know.

She owed that much to Tasha Yar.

**I am "in the zone" today. I even expect to have the next chapter up within the next few days.**

**For those of you who like the episode-based chapters, I'm sorry to deviate from that format but I really wanted to show Kate's departure, and since I'm not planning on covering any episodes that take place until almost halfway through Season Three, I didn't think it would work to put any episode-based segments into a chapter that otherwise takes place before Season Three even starts or even to tack them onto the end. The episodes will be back next chapter.**

**The idea for the whole youth center bit really caught me blindsided. Probably came from the fact that I've been seeing some news articles about abusive boarding schools lately. That part was literally coming into my head as I was writing it. The concept will probably pop up again in future chapters.**

**Please Review. I'm really impressed that I got three reviews already for the chapter I just posted not twenty hours ago.**


	11. Chapter Eleven: Right on Q

**Big Doors**

**Disclaimer: **If you recognize it, it's not mine. This is an AU story.

_**Chapter Eleven: Right on Q**_

"Yes," Q sighed, "once again I've overstayed my welcome. As a human, I was ill-equipped to thank you, but as myself you have my everlasting gratitude. Until next time. Ah, but before I go, there's a debt I wish to repay to my professor of the humanities. Data, I've decided to give you something very, very special."

"If your intention is to make me human, Q-" Data began.

"No, no, no, no, no, no. I would never curse you by making you human. Think of it as a going away present."

Q vanished, and Data suddenly collapsed in uncontrollable laughter.

"Data?" Geordi was more than a little concerned. "Why are you laughing?"

"I do not know," Data said once he had composed himself, "but it was a wonderful feeling."

"This doesn't let you off the hook, Q!" Tasha called out. Had the crew not been so familiar with Q, they would likely have thought she was crazy, talking to thin air. However, knowing him as they did, they were certain he was listening.

"You owe Data your life, and one day you may be called upon to pay off that debt. And when that time comes, you'd better be there."

There was no answer, but Tasha knew she'd been heard and understood.

xxxxxxxxx

"Sensors are reading gravimetric fluctuations, Captain," Data reported. "Most unusual ones."

"Unusual in what way?" Will asked. "Specify."

"Nothing I have seen before."

"Is it a wormhole?" Picard asked."

"Yes and no," Data explained. "Like a time displacement, but it does not have a discernible event horizon."

"Sir, navigational subsystems are unable to give coordinates on the object," Wesley reported.

"Confirmed," Data reported after quickly checking his own instruments. "The phenomenon does not have a definable center or outer edge."

"Are you saying it is and yet it isn't there?" Will was clearly trying hard not to lose his patience.

"I do not have sufficient information to make an analysis as yet, Commander. The dynamics of the radiation patterns -"

"Captain!" Tasha interrupted. "Something's happening. A new change in sensor readings."

For an instant, Tasha thought she saw another ship, and she felt a strange sensation she couldn't recognize. Then, without warning or explanation, the ship seemed to blink out of existence and the feeling was gone.

"Report, Lieutenant!" Picard ordered.

"Readings fluctuated momentarily. It appeared to be a ship, I saw it just after the sensors did, but it just - disappeared."

"The phenomenon is closing in on itself, Captain," Data reported.

"Very well. Prepare a class one sensor probe. We'll leave it behind to monitor the final closure. Mr. Crusher, lay in a course for Archer Four."

The comm crackled. "Captain, this is Guinan. Is everything all right up there?"

"Guinan?" Picard looked truly puzzled by the bartender's communication. "Yes everything's fine. Is something wrong?"

They could almost hear her smile. "No. No, everything's fine. Sorry to bother you."

"Captain, when you saw that ship, did it give you an odd feeling?"

"I saw no ship, Lieutenant."

"You didn't? Didn't anyone?"

Everyone on the bridge shook their heads.

"Huh. It was the oddest feeling - I can't explain it. I've never felt anything like it. But I can tell you one thing. Whatever it was, I don't like it."

xxxxxxxxx

"Tasha, come with me. I want to show you something."

"Well it's about time. I've hardly seen you since you got back from that cybernetics conference."

"You will understand momentarily." He led her into the lab and gestured towards the work platform in the center of the room. "This is what has been occupying my time."

Tasha glanced at the platform and gasped. the area was dominated by a figure that resembled the upper half of a human body. What was clearly the rest of the body lay scattered in various pieces in the same immediate area.

"What the hell?"

"This is Lal. Or rather, it will be Lal, once I have completed the project."

"So Lal is another android?" Tasha was starting to see what Data was doing.

"Indeed. While I was at the cybernetics conference, there was a new sub-micron matrix transfer technology introduced which I discovered could be used to lay down complex neural net pathways. I began programming Lal's brain there. I realized for the first time it was possible to continue Doctor Soong's work. My initial transfers produced very encouraging results, so I brought Lal's brain back with me. I have created the body since."

"It's not finished."

"No. But I wanted you to see it now. I must ask you, however, to keep this to yourself. You are at present the only person besides myself who knows about this."

"So, you've created yourself a friend." Tasha grinned. "I like it."

"A child."

"Pardon?"

"Lal is not intended to be my friend, but rather my child."

"You're telling me you're going to be a father?"

"Well, yes."

He was not prepared for Tasha to come flying at him, nearly knocking him off balance.

"Oh, Data," she whispered into his ear. "You're going to be a wonderful father."

"Actually, that is why I brought you here. I believe that in addition to a father, Lal will need a mother. I would like to ask you to fill that position."

To his surprise, Tasha burst out laughing.

"I do not understand how my statement was humorous. It was a genuine request."

"I know, I know." Tasha was still giggling slightly. "It's just - you've got to be the first man ever who went up to a woman and asked her to be the mother of his child."

"Then you refuse?"

"I didn't say that." She glanced once again at the half-built android. "I accept. So what are we having? A boy or a girl?"

"I have decided to allow Lal to choose its own gender and appearance."

"That's gotta be a first." She smiled again.

"I have been thinking. Although I have only one name, it is my observation that many species prefer to have two. I do not have a second name to give Lal, but you do, and giving Lal your name might solidify your status as mother."

"Hmm. Not a bad idea. Lal Yar." She tried the name out, then grimaced. "It doesn't sound right."

"It is correct."

"That's not what I meant. It doesn't sound," she struggled for a term Data would understand, "aesthetically pleasing. It's hard to say and it doesn't flow right."

"I suppose we could give her another last name, but I did like the idea of using yours."

"What about a middle name?"

"What?"

"Once Lal chooses a gender, we could give him or her a gender-appropriate middle name. It might help smooth it out a little, especially if it were longer - part of the problem with Lal Yar is that both names are only one syllable each."

"It is a good solution."

"Well, it won't be necessary unless you ever finish! Why don't I let you get back to your work?"

xxxxxxxxx

She stood before Tasha now, a beautiful young woman._ My daughter. My little girl._ Unlike Data, she looked completely human. If Tasha hadn't known she wasn't human, she never would have guessed.

"Mother. Father said I would be given another name."

"Yes, you will."

"Since I chose Lal's first name," Data pointed out, "it seems fair that you should choose the middle name. If you require time to think -"

"I don't." She turned back to her daughter. "Your name is Lal Katherine Yar."

"Katherine," she pronounced slowly. "Lal Katherine Yar. It is acceptable."

xxxxxxxxx

"Tasha, may I speak with you?"

"Always."

"Lal is attempting to learn about human life. She is confused by the fact that our family does not live together, in the same home. I believe steps should be taken to ease her confusion."

"So what you're saying is you want me to move in with you."

"Yes. The bed in our quarters is never used, as Lal and I do not require sleep."

"All right. But you have to help me move my stuff."

xxxxxxxxx

"Mother, what are you doing?"

"I'm reading."

"What are you reading?"

"It's a very old earth series called _Harry Potter._ It's one of my favorites."

"Ah. Humans cannot retain information completely, so they have to read it even if they have read it before."

"It's not just that. Remembering something I've read isn't the same as reading it again. You know what else is common among humans? Many parents read out loud to their children. I could read out loud to you, if you want"

"But I can read."

"That's not the point. Think of it as a bonding ritual."

"All right. You may read out loud to me."

"Come, sit down. I'll start from the beginning."

She scrolled the PADD back to the start.

_Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. They were the last people you'd expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn't hold with such nonsense. _

"Why would they wish not to be unusual?"

"Well, you know how the children at school didn't want to be around you because you were different than they were?"

"Yes."

"Well, there are some people who want to be part of a group so much that they would give up their individuality to achieve it. This was especially true in the twentieth century when this book was written.

"Please, continue."

Until this point, Tasha had always assumed that reading aloud was solely for the benefit of the child. She now realized how wrong she had been. Reading this story aloud, to such an alert audience, even stopping to answer Lal's frequent questions, brought a sense of deep contentment she'd never felt before.

And so it was that Data walked in just in time to hear Tasha say

_Uncle Vernon didn't seem to hear her. Exactly what he was looking for, none of them knew. He drove them into the middle of a forest, got out, looked around, shook his head, got back in the car, and off they went again. The same thing happened in the middle of a plowed field, halfway across a suspension bridge, and at the top of a multilevel parking garage._

"Tasha?"

"Data!" She jumped. "I didn't hear you come in."

"Who is Uncle Vernon? And why is he acting so strangely?"

"What? Oh, I'm just reading Lal a story. You're welcome to listen. If you want to know what's happened so far, access your files on _Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone._ We're in the middle of Chapter Three."

"Ah. I am now aware of our position."

And so the bed, which had so rarely been used until Tasha's arrival, lay sagging under the weight of two androids and a human, who sat reading the tale of a boy wizard to her daughter.

xxxxxxxxx

"What interest do you have in this project, Lieutenant? You are a security officer, not a cyberneticist."

"It's not a project, it's a person. Lal isn't just Data's daughter, she's my daughter too."

"She's an android. You weren't remotely involved in her construction."

"Would you tell a human child not to call her adoptive parent mother or father?"

"This is different. For one thing, you don't have legal parental rights."

"Frankly, Admiral, I don't give a damn about legal parental rights. Lal is my child as far as I'm concerned, and as far as she's concerned, and as far as her father is concerned, and that's all that matters to us."

Tasha had not known it was possible to feel such raging anger and such intense love at once. But she knew now that as long as she lived, she would never let Starfleet, or anyone else, take her child from her.

"I think," she said icily, "that this conversation is over."

xxxxxxxxx

"Mother." Lal stood in the doorway, looking shaky.

"Lal! What's the matter?"

"Mother. Admiral. Admiral. An admiral from Starfleet has come to take me away, Mother. I am scared."

"Don't be scared." Tasha crossed the room and enfolded Lal in her arms. "I won't let him. I won't let him take you away. Mother's here, Lal. I'm here."

"This is what it means to feel. This is what it means to feel!" Suddenly, Lal pulled free of Tasha's arms and started walking down the hall.

"Yar to Data! You'd better get up to your lab, now! It's Lal."

It was not Data's voice that responded, but rather the Captain's. "He's on his way."

xxxxxxxxx

Tasha was shoved aside by Halftel and Data as they set to work on Lal. The Admiral would have forced her out of the room completely but he recognized that he wasn't getting her to leave without a fight and a fight was one thing they did not have time for. Instead he snapped a curt "stay out of the way" before getting to work.

Data's fingers flew faster than Tasha had ever seen them. For nearly an hour the two of them worked tirelessly. Then Halftel stopped suddenly, giving a defeated sigh.

"This isn't working. There's nothing we can do."

"I have come to the same conclusion."

"No!" Tasha, until this point silent as a mouse, chose this moment to insert herself. "You can't give up! You can't let her die!"

"Lieutenant, you're not a cyberneticist, you can't understand. Lal's neural pathways are collapsing one by one, but too fast for us to fix. Look, I wish there was something we could do too, but it would take a god to fix her now."

The Admiral had expected her to finally give in, but instead her face lit up. "Then I guess we'd better get ourselves a god."

"What?" Halftel now looked completely confounded.

Data, on the other hand, suddenly realized what she meant. "Tasha, you are not suggesting-"

"Why the hell not? He owes you, Data, and he knows it. Here's his chance."

She turned to face the apparently empty room. "I know you're out there, and I know you're listening! I told you a time would come for you to pay off your debt. Well, it's time! Come on out here or show yourself for the despicable coward you are!"

Halftel jumped a yard when the man materialized in the middle of the room, but niether Data nor Tasha was remotely surprised.

"What seems to be this burning emergency?"

"She's dying! Fix her!"

"Why should I?"

"Because she's Data's daughter, and we both know where you stand. He risked his life to save yours. All you have to do to repay him is snap your fingers!"

"Please, Q," Data added. "It would mean a great deal to me."

"What the hell is going on here?" The Admiral finally got his voice back.

Tasha ignored him. "You heard Data, Q. Now do it!"

"Yes, yes, very well." Q snapped his fingers, and Lal's head was briefly enveloped in a flash of light. Then he simply vanished.

"I - I don't believe it," Halftel sputtered. "She's completely repaired."

"Sometimes, Admiral," Tasha said with just a hint of smugness, "the most brilliant things are said by people who don't know what they're saying."

xxxxxxxxx

"What are you doing?" Tasha had walked into her quarters only to find Lal in the midst of replicating piles of clothing. Already she had shed the purple dress and blue vest she had been wearing since her creation and put on a dark red shirt and a pair of jeans. Her feet were bare and she had pushed her dark hair off her face with a headband that matched her shirt.

"I don't want to wear the same thing all the time!" She pulled yet another item from the replicator, folded it, and laid it on top of the stack. "So I've been replicating clothes I've seen on other people." She twirled, modeling the outfit she was wearing. "Do you like it?"

In the two days since she had begun to have emotions, her growth had sped up exponentially. She was now nearly indistinguishable from the young teen she appeared to be. Data had even talked about trying to send her back to school.

"I do," Tasha answered honestly.

"Mother?"

"What is it?"

The next thing she knew, her arms were full of her daughter. "I love you."

Tasha pulled Lal even closer. "Oh, God, I love you too."

**Wow. That was fast. Even I'm surprised. But I'm seriously on a roll, so keep watching. I expect to have at least two more chapters out by the end of the week.  
**

**Please review. If I get at least three reviews for this chapter, I'll hit fifty. Thanks to my reviewers! I love you guys! You're actually managing to review all my chapters despite how fast I'm cranking them out.  
**


	12. Chapter Twelve: Torn Asunder

**Big Doors**

**Disclaimer: **If you recognize it, it's not mine. This is an AU story.

_**Chapter Twelve: Torn Asunder**_

"Loading is complete." Data's voice came over the comm. "I am proceeding with departure. Enterprise shuttlebay two, prepare for docking. Level one precautions for incoming material remain in effect."

"Shuttle twelve containment field reads nominal," Geordi reported. "Now leaving the _Jovis_."

"On viewer," Picard ordered. The entire bridge crew saw the shuttle pull clear of the ship.

"Containment field stable. Gravitational fluctuations within acceptable parameters. Flight pattern -"

Geordi broke off suddenly as the shuttle flared up without warning and was enveloped in a fireball. Will and the captain both jumped from their seats, and everyone stared at the viewscreen. The flames had subsided and they could see what was left of the shuttle. It was a skeleton.

Tasha couldn't think. She couldn't even breathe. Data could have survived the shuttle breaking apart, but there was nothing left of it. She vaguely heard Worf say something, but it didn't register.

"Worf, take over," Geordi said quickly. Normally, Worf would have protested being given orders by someone who wasn't a direct superior, but in this situation he understood. He quickly took over the tactical console as Geordi pulled the Chief of Security into his arms.

"Data -" she whispered numbly. "Data -"

"Why didn't the containinment field hold?" Will demanded.

"Unknown, sir."

Tasha was still oblivious to what was going on around her. She leaned back against Geordi's chest, clutching at the arms around her waist as if trying to find something solid to cling to in a world that seemed to be spinning around her.

Picard had called up Fajo on the screen and was talking to him. Outwardly, he appeared calm, but everyone on the bridge could tell that this was tearing him apart. He terminated the connection and ordered a course laid in.

"Captain," Geordi said softly, nodding towards Tasha, who was still standing numbly in his arms.

Picard quickly took stock of the problem. "Lieutenant, can I see you in my ready room?"

"Yes, sir." She followed him in.

"I'm sorry, sir," she blurted out as soon as the door was closed. "I checked everything, double-checked it, triple-checked it! I don't know how I could have missed anything! I don't -"

"Tasha. Stop."

"Sir?"

"I didn't call you in here to reprimaind you. Sit down."

Mutely, she did as he asked.

"It is the job of the captain to break the news of a death to the family of the deceased. I regret that in this instance I was not able to do so."

"We weren't family -"

"You loved him. You lived with him, and you are the mother of his child. That counts as family in my book." He gently placed his hands on her shoulders. "I want to know if there's anything I can do for you."

"How am I going to tell her?"

Picard didn't even have to ask who "her" was. "I'll tell her. Why don't you go to your quarters and I'll send her up to you?" He gently pulled her into his arms then. "You can return to duty when you feel ready. I'm leaving this up to you."

xxxxxxxxx

"Captain!" To say the teacher was surprised to see him there would have been an understatement. She had almost never seen him make an unscheduled visit.

"I need to speak with Miss Yar." Simple. To the point. No trace of the anguish he felt underneath.

"She's in the middle of -"

"I'm afraid this can't wait. Do you have a place where we could speak in private?"

A look of realization passed over the teacher's face. When she spoke again, it was one word. "Who?"

"Her father."

"Wait in here. I'll get her."

It was only a moment before the teacher returned with the young woman in tow. "I'll leave you two alone."

"Captain?"

"Sit down, Lal."

She did, immediately, just as her father would have. It brought a lump to Picard's throat.

"Lal," he began slowly, "there's something I need to tell you, something I truly wish I didn't have to say. There's been an accident. Your father was killed."

"How?"

"A shuttle explosion."

"Where is my mother?"

"She's in your quarters. Do you want me to walk you there?"

"No. I will find my own way."

xxxxxxxxx

Tasha sat on the couch, curled into a tiny ball. She still couldn't believe Data was gone. Any second, he would wake her up and announce that this had all been a dream. Any second, he'd walk into the room and -

The door chimed. Tasha jumped. "Come in!" Part of her expected to see Data, and she looked up eagerly. But it was only Lal, looking sadder and more lost than Tasha had ever seen her, even when she'd thought she was being taken away.

"Mother?"

Without a word, Tasha gathered her daughter in her arms and clung to her tightly. She could feel Lal clutching her in return. She didn't care that Lal's grip was almost tight enough to be painful. She never wanted to let go of her child, _Data's _child, the only thing she had left of the man she'd so loved.

xxxxxxxxx

"Lieutenant, there is something I wish to show you."

"For God's sake, Worf, now?"

"You are not doing anything. Lal is occupied. I don't see why we shouldn't do it now."

"Fine."

"Follow me." He led her down to the holodeck. "Computer, run program Worf Seventeen."

"Program complete. Enter when ready."

"Worf, this is a callisthenics program."

"Very astute." He lifted a _bat'leth_ and handed it to her. "Computer, begin program."

A holographic monster appeared, and Tasha swung the weapon. It struck back and the two of them began to fight. Worf, at her side, began fighting his own monster.

Nearly twenty minutes later, the program concluded. Tasha wiped sweat out of her eyes and pushed her hair back. "I'll give you this much. You know how to program a good fight."

"I am impressed. The program was set to my own level of difficulty. You performed surprisingly well."

"Wait till I tell Data about this!" She laughed, then gasped in sudden pain as the day's events came back to her. She let the _bat'leth_ fall and dropped to her knees.

"How could I have forgotten? He's dead, gone, I'll never be able to tell him." With that, she let the tears fall."God, I'd give anything to get him back."

Worf knelt beside her, placing one hand gently on her back. "That was the intention. I believed it would be constructive for you to forget your grief for a brief time."

"You're right. It was." She continued after a moment. "I hadn't cried, you know. Until now."

"It is good for you."

She smiled slightly and let him help her up. "I owe you one for this."

"You owe me nothing," he insisted. "It is what friends do."

xxxxxxxxx

"Tasha? Tasha, can you hear me?"

"Huh?" Tasha lifted her head from the pillow and tried to clear the sleep from her mind.

"Tasha, you and Lal need to come down to Engineering, now."

"Geordi, it's late."

"I know. I'll explain when you get down here."

The tone in her friend's voice left no room for argument. In less than five minutes, Tasha was dressed and sitting in Engineering with her daughter, Data's closest friend, and the closest thing she had to a baby brother.

"I missed something," Geordi explained, "something big. Computer, replay shuttle audio transmission time index zero zero one six . This is Data's first trip from the _Jovis_ to the _Enterprise_. "

"Loading is complete. I am proceeding with departure." Data's voice came over the speaker, and Tasha felt like someone had plunged a knife into her already aching heart. "Enterprise shuttlebay two, prepare for docking. Level one precautions remain in effect. Shuttle has cleared the Jovis cargo bay."

"Computer, now replay shuttle audio transmission time index zero four two three," Geordi ordered. "This is Data's second trip."

"Loading is complete. I am proceeding with departure. Enterprise shuttlebay two, prepare for docking. Level one precautions remain in effect. Shuttle has cleared the Jovis cargo bay."

"Sounds just like the first trip," Wesley pointed out.

"Exactly the same," Geordi agreed. "That's protocol. And that's Data, following protocol to the letter. Okay, computer, now replay shuttle audio transmission, time index zero four three nine. Third and final trip."

"Loading is complete. I am proceeding with departure. Enterprise shuttlebay two, prepare for docking. Level one precautions remain in effect."

"That's it," Geordi explained. "That's the last communication."

"He didn't report the shuttle clearing the cargo bay of the _Jovis_." Wesley clearly realized now what Geordi had seen.

"Of course, there really wasn't any reason for him to make voice contact. He knew we'd be monitoring his position. Any other pilot might not bother, but Data, not following standard procedures?"

"What do you think it means?"

"I'm not sure, Wes. I suppose he could've been too busy. Maybe he saw something was wrong."

"Without communicating it?" Wesley shook his head. "That doesn't sound like Data either."

"Which means maybe something was wrong with him. But there's no other indication of that. Nothing he said or did during the entire mission. None. I sure wish I could talk to the last people who saw him alive."

Tasha gasped suddenly. "Damn it, I am such an idiot! Geordi, we need to talk to the Captain, now."

"Tasha, what are you talking about?"

"I'll explain later. Trust me. Computer, locate Captain Picard."

"Captain Picard is in his ready room."

"Come on, Geordi, let's go." She sprinted for the nearest turbolift with him hot on her heels. He knew her well enough to know that whatever was going on, it was serious.

In a few seconds, she was on the bridge and ringing for entry into the Captain's Ready Room. He looked up as they came in. "Tasha. I didn't expect to see you on the bridge so soon. Geordi, I told _you_ to get some rest."

"Captain, I think Data is alive," Tasha blurted out without preamble.

"_What?_"

"I think Data is alive."

"And what brought about this sudden realization?" Picard didn't really want to dismiss what Tasha was saying, but he wasn't sure she was in a position to think objectively about the situation.

"There was something off about this whole situation from the start, but I couldn't put my finger on it until just now. Isn't it just a little odd that the amount of hytritium Data brought in on his two completed runs was exactly enough to neutralize the tricyanate? And that the particular contamination we're dealing with can only be reversed with one rare substance, which happens to be too unstable to transport? And the _Jovis_ just happened to have it in the amount we needed? And the _Enterprise_ just happened to be the closest ship to the _Jovis_, which normally wouldn't arouse any suspicion, but if I'm right it wasn't by chance."

"Tasha, all the evidence at this point is completely circumstantial."

"I know. But what I'm about to say isn't. Captain, Fajo's not just a trader, he's also a noted collector of rare and valuable items. What better prize for a collector than the only sentient android ever created, or at least the only one that Fajo knows of? Captain, Geordi said himself that there's no viable explanation for the accident. And just recently, we realized that on his last run, Data never reported the shuttle clearing the cargo bay. Anyone else might not have bothered, but Data? What if he wasn't on that shuttle? What if Fajo kidnapped him and sabotaged the shuttle on purpose to make it look like Data was dead?"

"She's right, Captain." Geordi had finally gotten over his shock enough to speak. "It all makes sense. It makes a hell of a lot more sense than a shuttle accident under the conditions we had set up."

Picard sat in silence for a long moment. "Lieutenant," he asked finally, "are you ready to return to duty?"

"Yes, sir."

"There is a Runabout-class vessel in Shuttlebay two. Mr. La Forge, you and the Lieutenant take the craft and return to the site of the shuttle explosion. Avoid confrontation at all costs. Just rescue Mr. Data, arrest Mr. Fajo, take his ship, and get out of there."

"Sir, I think Ensign Crusher should accompany us. He was also involved in making this discovery, and we may end up needing an extra hand."

"All right, Lieutenant. Now get out of here before we waste any more time."

xxxxxxxxx

"Dropping out of warp," Wesley announced.

"Look." Geordi indicated the vessel they could see still holding position near the crash site. "The _Jovis_."

"Computer, scan the _Jovis_ for android and Zibalian life signs. If Fajo did kidnap Data, we want the computer to have a lock on him," she added at Wesley's questioning look.

"One android and one Zibalian located."

"Yes!" The three occupants of the runabout hugged excitedly.

"Come on," Tasha said finally. "We've still got a job to do. Wes, take the helm. Geordi, you and I need to set up in back. Phasers on maximum stun."

"Yeah, you've only mentioned the phaser setting five times," Geordi grumbled jokingly, too thrilled to be really upset.

They quickly positioned themselves at angles to the transporter pad, phasers pointed at the place where their newfound enemy would be materializing.

"All right, Wes," Tasha called. "We're ready. Just give the command."

"Computer, lock on to the two life forms and beam them aboard."

xxxxxxxxx

"Have you ever seen one of these, Data?" Fajo asked, pulling a weapon from a secret compartment.

"It is a disruptor." Data was never one to mince words, certainly not with a man like Fajo.

"Well, no," Fajo corrected. "It's a prototype for a Varon-T disruptor."

"The Varon-T disruptor is banned in the Federation."

"Oh, yes." This didn't seem to bother Fajo in the slightest. "They only manufactured five of them. I own four. I sleep with one under my pillow at night, and I sleep very well knowing it's there too. Do you know why?"

"It is a most lethal weapon." Again, a basic statement of fact.

"It's not just lethal. It's vicious. It tears a body apart, inside out, and very slowly too by your phaser standards. It's tortuous. A very, very painful death. I've always wanted-" Fajo broke off when he felt a transporter take hold of him. "What the hell?"

Fajo and Data rematerialized on the runabout's transporter pad to find two phasers pointed at them. As soon as their wielders realized who was who, the weapons were immediately turned to point at Fajo.

"Kivas Fajo," Tasha announced in a voice that suggested she was enjoying every second, "you're under arrest for kidnapping a Starfleet officer. Don't bother with your weapon," she added, "it was deactivated during transport."

"That weapon is banned in the Federation," Data pointed out.

"Is it?" Tasha seemed even happier with this piece of news. "I wonder what else he has that he shouldn't. Geordi, help me secure him in the cabin."

"With pleasure."

Fajo had clearly decided that trying to resist two armed officers was a bad idea; at any rate, he allowed himself to be marched to the cabin and locked in. As soon as the Zibalian had been secured, Data found his arms full of Tasha.

"Oh, God," she whispered into his shoulder. "I thought you'd been killed."

"I am all right." He gently patted her back. "How did you locate me?"

"Fajo covered his tracks well, but not well enough." Geordi was grinning his head off. "I realized that you'd never announced the shuttle clearing the _Jovis_ cargo bay. Once Tasha heard that, she was able to put the rest of it together."

"I am grateful. Fajo's ship was not a pleasant place."

"Ah, that reminds me." Geordi couldn't believe he'd forgotten. "We're under orders to seize the _Jovis_ and anything she's carrying. Wes, bring us into the _Jovis_' shuttle bay."

"Yes, sir!"

xxxxxxxxx

"It hurt so much," Tasha whispered. "When I saw the shuttle blow up, it was like having a piece of me ripped away."

"Which piece?"

"It's an expression." She laughed, not half as exasperated as she might have been under other circumstances. "God, I've missed you."

She pulled him in for another kiss, and another. Without really realizing it, her fingers had slipped to the zipper at the neck of his uniform and begun to slide it down.

"Tasha." He gently stopped her hands with one of his. "Are you certain this is what you want?"

"I've never been more sure of anything in my life," she whispered back.

He released her wrist and busied himself removing her uniform even as she removed his. It couldn't have been more different than their last experience. That time had been an intoxicated tumble, a mistake to be regretted. This was true passion, true love. Tasha knew that she would never, ever want to deny this moment.

She lay in Data's arms long after it was over, lulled to sleep by his steady breathing. Data knew there were countless things he could have been doing with this time, but at the moment, none of them seemed remotely important.

**The roll continues!**

**Please review! Thanks to all reviewers so far, but especially trance47 for being number 50!**


	13. Chapter Thirteen: The Worst of A World

**Big Doors**

**Disclaimer: **If you recognize it, it's not mine. This is an AU story.

_**Chapter Thirteen: The Worst of A World**_

"_CAPTAIN_!" Tasha sprinted forward, leaping the dividing rail as soon as she was clear of the console. With a long-practiced expertise, she landed on her feet and lunged towards the Captain, only to have her hand pass through him as he and the Borg drone dematerialized.

"No!" she shrieked. "Captain! _Captain_!"

But it was too late. He was gone.

As Will got to his feet, Tasha hurried back to her console. "Borg vessel disengaging and going to warp."

"Maintain pursuit," Will ordered, still sounding dazed.

"It's reached Warp Nine. Nine point four, nine point six."

"Stay with them. Riker to O'Brien. Can you get a fix on the Captain?"

"Negative, sir. There's some kind of interference. I can't lock in on his signal. "

"Senior officers, report to the Bridge!"

"Sir," Tasha sighed, "you're not going to like this. The Borg ship is on a direct course to Sector 001."

Will said the one word everyone was thinking. "Earth."

xxxxxxxxx

"Tasha, what's our status?"

"Commander, they're leading us straight into the heart of our own defenses."

"Yeah," Geordi pointed out, "well, so far they haven't had any reason to worry about our defenses."

Wesley spoke up then. "Commander, if the Borg stay at warp nine point six, we'll be forced to discontinue pursuit and power down in less than three hours."

"Two hours, forty minutes and three seconds." Even in the midst of a crisis, Data was still Data.

"How soon before the deflector's ready?"

"We're close. A few hours maybe. I know," he added before Will could speak, "I'll get it done in two somehow, but Commander, I going to need serious power from the warp engines to make this weapon work. So far we're using everything we've got just to keep up with them."

"Sir," Shelby put in from her position at the helm, "we've got to get that ship down to impulse."

Will nodded. "I'm leading an away team over there to get the Captain back. We'll find a way to bring them out of warp. Ensign Crusher, you continue to assist Mr. La Forge. Commander Shelby, you'll take the Bridge and coordinate with Starfleet. Worf, take tactical. Data, Tasha, Doctor, you're with me."

"Excuse me, sir,"Shelby interrupted. "With my knowledge of the Borg -"

"Those are my orders, Commander."

"Will." Tasha gently laid a hand on his arm. "We both know that you never let Captain Picard go on away missions, especially not dangerous ones. You're acting captain now, and I'm no more going to let you leave the ship than you ever let him."

Will nodded slowly, recognizing the truth of her words. "Commander Shelby, you'll lead the away team. Make it so."

xxxxxxxxx

When Tasha had seen the Captain - or what was left of him - she felt the same sense of emptiness and loss that had become familiar in those horrible few days when she had believed Data gone.

There had been a time when Tasha had believed that because she barely remembered her own father, she couldn't say that anyone was like a father to her. Not until Jean-Luc Picard was gone did she realize that he had indeed been like a father to her, whether or not she'd had a solid point of comparison. If anything, losing him hurt even worse than losing her parents so many years ago had.

She stood now on the bridge. She had thought nothing could be worse than having to tell Will what had happened. She saw now that she couldn't have been more wrong.

"Is the deflector ready?" Will asked.

"It's ready," Geordi answered.

"Will, he's alive." Beverly spoke the words that had been on everyone's mind. "If we could get him back to the ship, I might be able to restore-"

"This is our only chance to destroy them. If they get back into warp, our weapon is useless."

"We'll sabotage them again if we have to," Shelby insisted.

"We can't maintain power. We don't have the time. Prepare to fire."

"At least consult with Starfleet Command. Get Admiral Hanson on subspace." Shelby wasn't backing down so easily.

"Belay that order, Lieutenant. There's no time."

"Sir, we're being hailed by the Borg!" Tasha interrupted.

"On screen."

Picard's face, familiar yet distorted by the Borg implants, filled the viewscreen. "I am Locutus of Borg. Resistance is futile. Your life as it has been is over. From this time forward, you will service us. "

"Lieutenant Yar, fire."

Tasha forced her eyes away from the viewscreen and onto her console. _He'd want this,_ she told herself, forcing back her tears. _He'd rather die than be what he is now._

And with that thought, she fired. Only once the weapon had been activated did she allow the agony of grief and guilt to well up and overwhelm her.

"Deflector power approaching maximum limits," Geordi reported. "Energy discharge in six seconds."

"Forgive me, Captain," Tasha whispered so quietly that even Geordi, less than two feet away, couldn't hear her. "Weapon discharging now, sir." Then, a few moments later, "Nothing's happening. It's not working!"

"Impossible." Shelby stood in shock.

"Captain, we have to cut the beam or we'll fry the deflector."

Will sighed. "Cease fire. "

"Shutting down warp engines."

"They couldn't have adapted that quickly." Will shook his head.

But it was Locutus who provided the answer. "The knowledge and experience of the human Picard is part of us now. It has prepared us for all possible courses of action. Your resistance is hopeless," and then, to taunt Will further, he added, "Number One."

With that, the Borg ship cut off the communique and continued towards earth. The _Enterprise_ could do nothing. The useless discharge had drained their power reserves.

xxxxxxxxx

"Mr. Worf, I want you to take over tactical. Coordinate with Commander Shelby to prepare for any future Borg encounters."

"But sir -"

"Tasha, don't think I don't need you. I do need you, now more than ever. But not behind me. At my side."

"Captain?"

"I'm field-promoting you to Lieutenant Commander and first officer. And I expect you to continue showing the amount of initiative you did when you reminded me where I belong."

"I will, sir. Thank you, sir." Pride quickly replaced the sense of disappointment she'd had just a moment ago.

"Now, based on our latest communication, we can assume that the Borg survived the fleet's attack. Your thoughts on our next encounter?"

"What about the heavy graviton beam we were talking about?" Shelby asked.

Geordi shook his head. "I've gone over it four times. The local field distortion just wouldn't be strong enough to incapacitate them."

"Doctor Crusher and I have been working on an interesting premise," Data put in.

Beverly took over the explanation. "With our recent experience in nanotechnology, we might be able to introduce a destructive breed of nanites into the Borg."

"Nanites?" Shelby frowned.

"Robots small enough to enter living cells," Data explained.

"How long would it take to execute that?" Will asked.

"That's the problem," Beverly admitted. "Two to three weeks."

Deanna sighed. "In two or three weeks, nanites may be all that's left of the Federation."

"We have the new phaser adapters," Worf pointed out. Tasha almost pointed out that she was the department head before remembering that that was no longer the case.

"Maybe in concert with photon torpedoes we can slow them down." Geordi sounded uncertain, as though he were grasping at straws.

"I'm sure Captain Picard would have something meaningful and inspirational to say right now," Will said. "To tell you the truth, I wish he were here, because I'd like to hear it too. I know how difficult this transition has been for all of you. I can take over for him, but I could never replace Captain Picard. Nor would I ever try. Whatever the outcome, I'm sure our efforts in the coming battle will justify his faith in all of us. Dismissed." Everyone began to file out. "Tasha, wait."

"Sir?"

"Just Will for the moment. I want to talk to you as a friend. I know it's not easy to get promoted like this. Believe me, I know. But I'm counting on you."

"I won't let you down." She took a deep, steadying breath.

"I know that. You've already shown that."

"What?"

"The only thing that could have been worse than giving the order to fire would have been actually firing. But when the time came, you pressed that button, knowing you'd have to live with the result for the rest of your life."

"Will - part of me was relieved when that weapon didn't go off. What does that make me?"

"It makes you human. I felt the same way, and I think everyone on the bridge, maybe minus Data, did too. What matters is how you act on those feelings."

"You sure you and Deanna haven't been swapping personalities?" she teased.

Will half-smiled, the best he'd managed all day. "I think so, but I can double-check if you want me to."

Tasha hugged him. "We'll get through this, Will. I'll make sure of it."

xxxxxxxxx

"I like it," Wesley commented, echoing a comment she'd made to him just weeks before. "You look good in red."

Tasha nodded and tried to smile. "How far to the battle site?"

"Three minutes, twenty-six seconds."

Tasha nodded and sat somewhat stiffly in what she had always considered Will Riker's chair. Her fingers gripped the armrests tightly as she tried to suppress her fear of what they would find at Wolf 359.

"We're approaching the Wolf system, Captain." Wesley reported.

"On my way." Will stepped out of the Captain's - _his_, Tasha reminded herself, _his_ - ready room.

"Slow to impulse. Take us to the battle coordinates, Mr. Crusher. Yellow alert."

"Sensors are picking up several vessels, Captain," Worf reported.

"The fleet?"

"No active subspace fields," Data reported. "Negligible power readings."

"Life signs? "

"Several small vessels, possibly escape pods, showing lifesigns. No lifesigns present on other vessels."

"Visual contact," Worf reported.

"On screen."

"Worf," Tasha added, "locate any escape pods showing lifesigns and tractor them into the main shuttlebay."

"Yes, sir."

The sight that greeted them on the viewscreen was a somber one. The skeletons of multiple starships floated through space, some still alight. Smaller hunks of debris were intermixed with them.

"The _Tolstoy_," Shelby whispered as one skeleton floated by, "the _Kyushu_, the _Melbourne_."

Will bowed his head, and Tasha knew what he was thinking. The _Melbourne_ had nearly been his.

"Sir," Worf reported, "all manned escape pods have been retrieved. Sensors are picking up unusually strong eddy currents, bearing 2-0-0, mark 2-1-1."

"Data, analysis?"

"It could indicate the course of the Borg ship, sir."

"Ensign Crusher, set in a course that follows those currents. Commander Shelby, you and Commander Yar prepare to initiate your plan to separate the saucer section when we find the Borg."

"Sir," Shelby protested, I must remind you that Captain Picard was briefed on that plan. The Borg will be prepared for it."

"I'm aware of that, Commander. In fact, I'm counting on it. Mr. Data, Mr. Worf," he added, "I have a special mission for you."

"In the meantime, Captain," Tasha cut in, "request permission to check on the situation in the shuttlebay."

"Permission granted, commander."

"Yar to sickbay," Tasha called even as she hurried for the turbolift, "I need medical staff in the main shuttlebay."

xxxxxxxxx

"Who's in charge here?" Tasha demanded. "Where's your captain?"

"The captain is dead, sir," answered a Bolian lieutenant whose gold uniform identified him as a member of the operations division. "The first officer is still inside the pod. I'm the only other surviving bridge officer."

"I need all the wounded removed from the escape pods so the medics can get to them," Tasha ordered. "And send the first officer to me."

"Yes, sir. But Commander, if you don't mind my asking, what ship are we on?"

"I'm sorry, I should've thought of that. This is the _Enterprise_, and I'm the first officer. Now if you don't mind my asking, what ship are you from?"

"The _Saratoga_, sir."

Tasha forced herself to stay calm as she tried to shunt aside the loss of the ship that had saved her life over a decade ago. "Get to it, Lieutenant."

"Yes, sir."

"Mother, you're in the way of the anti-grav lift."

"_Lal_? What are you doing down here?"

"She was working on a project in sickbay when the call came for a medical team," Beverly explained. "She's as safe down here as up there, and we need all the hands we can get."

"I suppose you're right." Tasha quickly scrambled out of the way of the medical team. "Just keep an eye on her."

"I'll watch your child, you look out for mine."

"Deal."

"Excuse me, Commander." A voice behind Tasha made her jump, and she whirled around to see a man; tall, dark-skinned, and inexplicably familiar. "I assume you're the _Enterprise_'s first officer?"

"Yes. And you're the _Saratoga_'s?"

He nodded stiffly. "Benjamin Sisko."

"_Benjamin Sisko_?" she repeated. "It's been a long time."

"Do I know you?" He clearly wasn't in the mood for any sort of game.

"You did, fourteen years ago. Tasha Yar."

"Tasha?" When he spoke, his voice was barely above a whisper.

"Yes, it's me. What's the matter?"

"What -"

"It's the look on your face. Something's hurting you. You lost someone on your ship."

"Jennifer." He tried to get the word out flatly, but his voice broke halfway through. "My wife."

"I'm so sorry." She gently took his hands between hers.

"Riker to Commander Yar."

"Go ahead, sir."

"We're about to drop out of warp. Report to the main bridge."

"Yes, sir." She turned to the man still standing beside her. "I can't order you to come with me, and I wouldn't if I could. But I'm asking you. I could use another good officer on the bridge."

Sisko nodded, looking grimly determined. "For Jennifer."

"Let's go."

xxxxxxxxx

"What's the plan?" Tasha asked almost before she was out of the turbolift.

"We separate the ship, and both sections fire at the Borg. The Borg, assuming they know our plan, ignore the saucer section and concentrate all their fire on the stardrive section. Now, early on in the battle, the saucer fires an antimatter spread - that's phase two in code, once we separate we can't risk discussing the plan openly over communication channels. At precisely the same moment, Data and Worf will take a shuttlecraft and slip in through the Borg's shields. Once they're through, Data and Worf will use the shuttle's transporters to beam themselves aboard, take Locutus, and beam back. Any questions?"

"No, sir."

"Now Geordi, Shelby, and Wesley will all be on the stardrive section. I'm leaving a backup crew in place here."

"Sir, I'd like to add someone to that crew, if I may. Lieutenant Commander Benjamin Sisko, formerly first officer of the _Saratoga_."

"Welcome aboard, Commander. And Tasha?"

"Sir?"

"Good luck."

"You're going to need it more than me, sir."

He once again managed a small smile. "Point taken, commander. You have the main bridge."

"Benjamin, take the engineering station."

"I'm on it." He knew, of course, that she didn't technically outrank him, but somehow she projected an air of command that made him inclined to do what she said.

They dropped out of warp to the sight of the Borg cube, undamaged despite having battled an entire fleet. After what seemed like forever but was really only a minute or two, Will's voice came over the comm. "Commander Yar, report."

"Ready for separation."

"Make it so."

xxxxxxxxx

"What's the news?"

"We've got him," came Will's voice over the comm, "he's in sickbay now, but he's still linked in with the collective. Beverly's afraid to disconnect him; we don't know what would happen if she did."

"So what if he dies?" Benjamin grumbled from behind her.

"If he dies, we'll never figure out what he knows, and that could be the difference between winning and losing in this war. The Borg used him to get information about us, it's high time we return the favor." Tasha deliberately omitted any mention of the crew's personal feelings. She knew he didn't want to hear it.

"Data's going to try and interface with him."

"Captain, the Borg have entered Sector 001. "

"On my way."

"The Borg have dropped out of warp, sir," Tasha told Will as he stepped out of the turbolift. "Jupiter outpost 9-2 reported visual contact at twelve hundred hours, thirteen minutes."

"Planetary defenses?"

"Responding. No reports on effectiveness, but frankly, if the fleet couldn't stop them..." She let the sentence trail off.

"Ensign Crusher, at their current speed, when will they reach Earth?"

"Twenty seven minutes."

"The soonest we could intercept?"

"Forty two minutes, sir."

"Riker to Data. What's your status?"

"The initial cybernetic connection into Captain Picard's neural net pathways has been established. Mr. O'Brien is ready to process the Borg signal through the transport pattern buffer."

"Make it so. With dispatch, Mr. Data.

"Proceeding immediately, sir. Data out."

"It is confirmed," Worf said from behind them. The Borg have broken through the Mars defense perimeter."

"Enterprise now approaching Terran system, sir." Wesley added from the helm.

"Slow to impulse. Time to intercept?"

"Twenty-three minutes, fourteen seconds, sir."

"Troi to bridge," came Deanna's excited voice, "Data has made first contact with Captain Picard. "

"Can you communicate with him, Data?" Will demanded.

"I have been unable to create a neural path around the Borg implants, sir. It is Captain Picard himself who has somehow managed to initiate contact."

"Sir, the Borg have halted their approach to Earth." Worf reported.

"They didn't like that very much," Tasha almost laughed. For once, the Borg didn't have the upper hand.

"Time to intercept?"

"Two minutes, four seconds, sir." Wesley answered.

"They're worried. They're worried because we've got access to Picard. Mr. Data, we have two minutes to figure out what we can do with it."

"Sir, it is clear the Borg are either unwilling or unable to terminate their subspace links."

"That may be their Achilles heel, Captain," Beverly's voice conveyed a sudden flash of realization. "Their interdependency. "

"What do you mean, Doctor?"

"He's part of their collective consciousness now. Cutting him off would like asking one of us to disconnect an arm or a foot, we can't do it."

"They operate as a single mind." Shelby began to see where Beverly was going.

"One jumps off a cliff, they all jump off? Data, is it possible to plant a command into the Borg collective consciousness? "

"It is conceivable, sir, but it would require altering the pathway from the root command to affect all iterative branch points in the-"

"Make every effort, Mr. Data."

"Sir, what command shall I try to plant?"

"Something straightforward, like disarm your weapons systems."

"Visual contact with the Borg." Worf reported.

"On screen." Tasha ordered.

"Magnify," added Will.

"Sensors reading increased power generation from the Borg."

"Red alert. Load all torpedo bays. Ready phasers."

"Aye, Captain."

"Status of Borg weapons?"

"Their weapon systems are fully charged."

"Data?"

"Attempting to re-route subcommand paths, Captain," Data reported. "Defense systems are protected by access barriers."

"Borg attempting to lock on tractor beam."

"Rotate shield frequencies. Data, report!"

"I am unable to penetrate defense systems command structure, Captain."

"Try the power systems, Data," Shelby put in. "See if you can get them to power down."

"Do it, Data," Tasha added, knowing he might need an order from a superior, and not willing to waste time waiting to find out.

"Acknowledged. Attempting new power subcommand path."

Geordi's voice came over the comm next. "Shields have failed. They've locked on, sir. They're pulling us in."

"Fire all weapons!" Will ordered.

"I cannot penetrate Borg power subcommand structure, sir," Data reported. "All critical subcommands are protected, Captain."

"Then it's over," Shelby sighed.

"Mr. Crusher, ready a collision course with the Borg ship. You heard me," he added when Wesley shot him a look. "A collision course."

"Yes, sir."

"Mr. La Forge, prepare to go to warp power."

"Aye, sir."

"Borg cutting beam activated," Worf reported.

"Mr. Crusher," Will drew a deep breath, "en-"

"Data to Bridge. Stand by."

"Stand by, all stations."

"I am attempting to penetrate the Borg regenerative subcommand path," Data explained. "It is a low priority system and may be accessible."

"Warning. Outer hull breach."

"Sir, shall I execute evacuation sequence?" Worf asked.

"Negative, Mr. Worf. Mr. Data, your final report."

"Stand by."

"I can't, Mr. Data."

"Warning. Inner hull failure imminent on decks twenty three, twenty four, and twenty five. Decompression danger."

Suddenly, the banging and shaking that had been present since the Borg ship attacked stopped.

"Mr. Data, what the hell happened?" Will demanded.

"I successfully planted a command into the Borg collective consciousness, sir. It misdirected them to believe it was time to regenerate. In effect, I put them all to sleep."

"To sleep?" Will repeated incredulously.

"Yes, sir."

"Status of Borg power drive?"

"Minimal power," Worf replied.

"Electromagnetic field?"

"Nonexistent."

"Commander Yar, take an away team and confirm that the Borg are asleep."

"With pleasure, sir. Worf, Shelby, you're with me."

The sight of the Borg ship was reminiscent of nothing so much as their very first encounter with the Borg, when Q had thrown them out into the far reaches of the galaxy. It was eerily quiet. No one noticed them.

"Yar to _Enterprise_. It's true. They're all in a regeneration mode. They're dormant, sir."

"Any indication to how long we can keep them like this?"

"Shelby is checking now, sir."

"Tricorder readings are fluctuating rapidly, Commander," Worf reported.

"Let me report, Commander." At Tasha's nod, she continued, "Shelby to _Enterprise_. There are indications here that their entire power net's about to feed back on itself. I'd say we're looking at a self-destruct sequence activated by the Borg's malfunction. Do you want us to attempt to disarm it?"

"Stand by." After a brief pause, "Away Team, get yourselves home. Mr. Crusher, upon their return move us to a safe position."

"Aye, sir."

Tasha, Worf, and Shelby were barely back onboard when the _Enterprise_ suddenly picked up speed. The three of them rushed to the nearest window just in time to see the Borg cube, the enemy that had taken so many lives, blow up.

Tasha threw her arms around the closest person to her, which happened to be Worf. The Klingon, who normally would have protested being hugged, offered no resistance; in fact, his face was lit up with the biggest smile she'd ever seen from him. She hugged Shelby too, both of them too thrilled to remember they hardly knew each other.

"Yar to Captain. Will, we did it!" She all but shrieked into her combadge. "The Borg ship has been destroyed."

"Well done, Commander." The voice that responded was slightly hoarse, but it was one Tasha knew like her own soul, and one she had never expected to hear again.

"Shelby, take the bridge. I'll be in the lab."

The implants were still there. Nothing had changed about him physically. And yet, there was something, something Tasha couldn't quite put her finger on, but Picard had always had it, and Locutus never had. It was back.

"Welcome aboard, sir." It was all she could say. She was moments from bursting into laughter or tears, or maybe both. She wasn't sure. All she knew was she had her father back.

**I'd always wondered what exactly happened to the **_**Saratoga**_** escape pods after they ejected. I figured I'd give them somewhere to go. I will, of course, be exploring Tasha and Benjamin's relationship further in the next chapter. Tasha has, however, already mentioned him, albeit not by name, in Chapter Nine (Hey, I told you some apparently random stuff from that chapter would become important).  
**

**To those of you who are only fans of TNG, this is still primarily a TNG story, but I will be bringing in occasional elements from DS9 and Voyager. I'll try to make it so you can understand those elements even if you haven't seen either series.**

**Please review.**


	14. Chapter Fourteen: Chosen Family

**Big Doors**

**Disclaimer: **If you recognize it, it's not mine. This is an AU story.

_**Chapter Fourteen: Chosen Family**_

"You never called me. Oh, I know at first the center wouldn't let you talk to me, but after you got out..."

"Honestly, I thought you'd forgotten about me. The center didn't let us know they were blocking our calls. I just thought no one cared."

"Tasha, you didn't think you meant nothing to us, did you?"

"How was I supposed to know? You were my first experience with people who did things for any reason other than personal gain. I couldn't predict what you were thinking." She smiled. "So, when did you get married?"

"About two years after I met you. I was on a beach, and the sand was burning my feet, so I ran onto the nearest towel, which happened to contain a woman sunbathing in a bikini. Everything just kinda happened from there."

"My God, Ben," she laughed, "you do meet women in interesting ways, don't you?"

"Yep." He grinned broadly, and Tasha caught a glimpse of the young ensign she'd known before he'd been tempered by age and experience. "But I've found that the women I meet in those unusual situations are always the best." He lifted one hand to caress her face.

"Ben, I don't think..." Tasha was beginning to regret having decided they should meet in private. She had thought it might be more comfortable for him not to be around the crowds of people in Ten-Forward celebrating the downfall of the Borg when he was hurting from having lost so much, but now it seemed he was getting the wrong idea.

"You're even more beautiful than I remembered." He slid the hand on her cheek back until he was cupping the back of her head, then pulled her in and kissed her.

His lips explored hers gently, and for a moment she allowed herself to be lost in the sensation. Then, all at once, reality came crashing down and she pulled away.

"Ben, no. We can't."

"Why not?" His face was still inches from hers.

"We can't erase fourteen years of history, Ben. We can't just put things back the way they were." She pulled completely away from him. "I'm sorry."

xxxxxxxxx

"Something's bothering you."

"No offense, Deanna, but it doesn't take an empath to figure that one out."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"It's Ben."

"Ben?"

"Benjamin Sisko, the _Saratoga_'s first officer."

"You called him by a nickname. That implies some level of familiarity."

"I was rescued from Turkana by the _Saratoga_, which was involved in a two-ship mission. Ben was an ensign, newly commissioned, on the other ship, the _Livingston_. The two ships had been sending personnel back and forth, and there was some sort of accident in the _Saratoga_'s engineering section while Ben was working down there. He came into sickbay with an injured arm. At the time, I didn't trust anyone but Kate, so I was in sickbay because she was. She realized he was only five years older than me and introduced us. I was scared of him at first, but he was just the kind of person it's hard to be afraid of for long. We became friends. And then one day, he kissed me, just out of the blue, and told me I was beautiful. I'd never had someone behave that way towards me who wasn't trying to take advantage of me, but somehow, I just knew it was different. Our relationship never went beyond kissing and holding hands, but it was wonderful. At the end of the mission, we separated. Circumstances kept us from getting in contact until by some trick of fate we ended up staring each other in the face in the shuttlebay."

"And now you're not sure how to deal with him."

"I thought we could just be friends. I mean, I'm involved with Data and he went and got married. But then he kissed me just now."

"And how did you respond?"

"I pulled away from him, and I told him we can't go back to the way things were. But I don't know how to face him now. Our friendship still means a lot to me, but I can't give him what he wants. Even if I wasn't with Data, I don't know if I could."

"You said he was married. How does his wife fit into this equation?"

"She was killed at Wolf 359."

Deanna's eyebrows raised slightly. "So he lost her just a few days ago?"

"That's what I said, isn't it?"

"Have you considered the possibility that he's not really after you?"

"I doubt that."

"I don't. Look at it from his perspective. He just lost his wife, who he's been married to for - do you know how long?"

"He said he met her two years after we separated. That means about twelve, thirteen years ago. His son's eleven, so I assume he was married somewhere in between."

"So he just lost a woman he loved for over a decade. And then he runs into a woman he was once in love with. It's very possible he's just trying to fill that void with someone he felt similarly for."

"I just don't know how I'm going to face him again."

"He's your friend, and I can feel how important your friendship is. I know you'll get up the courage to approach him again." After a few seconds, she added, "Can I ask you something?"

"Go ahead."

"You've been unusually open with me tonight. Usually when I try to talk to you about your problems, you get so closed off. I like the change, but it's a big change. Why?"

"We're both off-duty. When we're sitting here, like this, I just feel like I'm talking to a friend. But when we're in your office, I feel like I'm talking to a counselor."

"And that makes you uncomfortable?"

"Frankly, yes."

"Why?"

Before Tasha was really aware of what she was saying, she was telling her friend about the counselors she'd seen at the youth center and the way they'd treated her. And Deanna was listening silently, the expression on her face becoming more and more horrified.

"Please tell me you're planning to do something about this," she said once Tasha had finished talking.

"Kate's looking into it for me. Last time I talked to her, she said she was trying to decide if it would do any good to call in a few favors. And I was planning to do a little work myself as long as we're still in spacedock."

"Do you want me to help you?"

"You?"

"I'm a counselor, Tasha. I'm in a better position to say that the counselors there are incompetent than you or Kate is."

"I think the first step is to go there myself. Now that I don't live there, I want to take a look around from a different perspective. You could - I mean, that is, if you wanted to -"

"Of course I'll come with you."

xxxxxxxxx

"Benjamin, I need to talk to you. Now."

"Of course. Anything for you."

"Ben, you can't keep making passes at me like this."

"Why not?"

"First off, I'm involved with someone else. And secondly, I don't think you really want me."

"What do you mean by that?"

"You want your wife, Ben. You want her more than anything in the world. And because you can't have her, you've decided I'm the next-best thing."

"No, that's not it."

"Isn't it?"

"Do you really think I'd use you like that? I'm not like that, Tasha, and you know that."

"I don't think you'd do anything on purpose. I don't think you really know what you're doing right now. Ben, I know what you're going through, trust me. I know you're not thinking things through completely. I want us to be friends, but it can't go beyond that."

"Tasha, wait!"

"Ben, the last thing you need is to be alone with me right now. If in a couple of days you want to talk to me, I'll still be on the ship."

xxxxxxxxx

"You don't mind if we have a look around, do you? We've heard so much about what you do here."

If the sight of the hellhole she'd lived in for two years hadn't been so sobering, she might have been tempted to laugh. Who would have known Deanna could lie so convincingly? Maybe Lwaxana was right. Tasha was a bad influence.

"Come on, let's go." Deanna stepped through the doors. Tasha paused briefly, drew a deep breath, and followed.

"If I didn't know better, I'd think nothing was wrong," Deanna whispered. "They've gone to such lengths to make everything seem like this is exactly what people expect it to be."

"But?"

"But no amount of disguising can fool an empath. The workers are hiding something, but more than that, I feel pain. Despair. Fear."

"That about sums it up."

"There's no joy here. None at all."

"There never was."

"Let's get out of here."

Tasha had no argument, and within a few minutes they were walking out in the open air.

"So, what do you think?" Tasha asked finally.

"There's definitely a problem. The trouble now is that I have no proof; not everyone will trust an empath's senses, even in correlation with your testimony. We need more. Tasha, this could seriously take time."

"I'm in it for the long haul now. You with me?"

"Absolutely."

xxxxxxxxx

The door chimed. Tasha looked up. "Come in."

Benjamin Sisko stood in the doorway. "Tasha, I -"

"_Mrooow_!" He was interrupted mid-sentence by an orange furball that leaped over the room's computer console. In seconds, Tasha was out of her chair and had grabbed the creature.

"Sorry about Spot. She's new here and still getting used to starship life."

"Um, _Spot_?" He glanced briefly at the orange tabby cat.

"Not my idea, I assure you. Please, come in."

"Nice place you've got. I like the artwork."

"I claim no credit. Data's the artist."

"And he goes around giving out his paintings?"

"To some degree. He keeps most of them around our quarters, though."

"You mean you live with him?"

"Yes."

"It's him, isn't it? You said you were seeing someone else."

"Yes."

"Well, that brings me to the reason I'm here. You were right. I was trying to make up for losing Jennifer. I'm just sorry you got caught up in that."

"No harm done. Friends?"

"Definitely." He hugged her tightly, and she returned it.

"So, what happens to you now?"

"I've been offered a position at the Utopia Planitia shipyards, and I've decided to accept. I'll be able to see my father, he still lives on Earth, and I think it'll be good for Jake."

"We ship out in about a week, as soon as they finish repairs. But next time I'm in the system, I'll call."

"By all means." A smile lit up his whole face. "And when you do, I'll take you out for the best meal you'll ever eat. How do you feel about Cajun?"

She smiled back. "It's a plan."

xxxxxxxxx

"Tasha, may I ask you something?"

"You just did." She grinned, and quickly followed up her statement before the android could become confused. "Ask away."

"I am aware of your recent visit to the children's center, and Counselor Troi filled me in on some of the details."

"Yeah, I told her she could."

"There is one thing that puzzles me. You have stated that the center placed upon you several labels, labels that while unjustified would have made it difficult for you to get into Starfleet. How did you manage this?"

"I had - help."

"Help?"

"You know how applicants from non-Federation worlds need a letter of reference from a command-level officer? Well, it can also work for someone with a messed-up record, although that's rare - most times, a command-level officer won't sponsor someone with a record problem."

"But you were able to find an officer to sponsor your application."

"Yes. I slipped away from the center for a few hours when I realized there was a group of Starfleet officers doing drills within walking distance. So as soon as they took a break, I approached all the command-level officers in the group and asked them to sponsor me. They tried to brush me off, but I wouldn't leave. Most of them just got irritated."

"But one did not."

"He was a Vulcan. He deduced that it would not have been logical for me to be so persistent if I wasn't serious about going to the Academy. So he gave me a chance to explain my reasons."

"And what did you tell him?"

"I told him I grew up on a world that had allowed government to fail and chaos to take over, and that Starfleet had saved me from it. I told him how much I respected and admired Starfleet and what it stood for. I told him I wanted to join Starfleet Security so I could enforce the order that my childhood had lacked. And when I'd finished, he stared at me for a long moment, and then told me that I had potential. He put me through a couple of tests to make sure I'd be worthy of his recommendation, and then, when he was satisfied, he gave it to me. As it happened, I'd lucked out big-time. He was an Academy instructor, so when he recommended me for the academy, they took his advice even over my record."

"What was this instructor's name?"

"Tuvok."

"Ah, yes. I recall him."

"Well, he sort of took me under his wing, helped me study for the entrance exams, and then once I was in helped me find my way through the program. And I learned something from him, something besides the things he taught in the classroom."

"What would that be?"

"That being unemotional on the surface hardly equates to not caring. A lesson I'm happy to say has served me well." She leaned over and kissed Data. "You know, they say girls fall in love with men who remind them of their fathers. I always thought that was superstition, and that it didn't apply to me anyway because I barely remembered my father. But maybe - maybe I fell in love with a man who reminded me of my mentor." She kissed him again. "There are worse people that you could remind me of."

**It's official. With the addition of this chapter, this story is now longer than any other story on my page.**

**Please Review.**

**And this is by no means the end of the NCFS-NOY storyline. I just wanted to touch on it again as well as give a realistic timeline for how long things will take. There is a reason it has to be dragged out, besides the fact that it's likely that getting a place like that closed down would take years.**

**Also, I've gone back and made a few minor revisions of previous chapters, mostly fixing little errors (I had managed to let a couple of contractions slip into Data's dialogue, and once Tasha referred to Lal as "she" before Lal's gender was chosen). One important note is that I changed Tasha's testimony in chapter seven to reflect that she'd had at least one prior relationship, albeit not a serious one.  
**

**And for all you DS9 fans, I'm aware I probably threw a wrench in the canon timeline of Benjamin's life, but I really wanted them to have that first meeting. Call it creative license.**


	15. Chapter Fifteen: Legend and Lore

**Big Doors**

**Disclaimer: **If you recognize it, it's not mine. This is an AU story.

_**Chapter Fifteen: Legend and Lore**_

"This took long enough," Tasha sighed as she stepped into the transporter. Immediately, the four of them materialized in a room. Tasha instinctively moved closer to her daughter, not knowing what they would find.

Fortunately, everything seemed safe enough. Data was lying on a chair, apparently deactivated, and a human man stood over him. He appeared ancient, and yet there was something oddly familiar about him. He looked up and caught sight of them.

"What are you doing here?"

"We're here to retrieve Commander Data." Will sounded annoyed. "What did you do to him?"

"I had to deactivate him to install the emotion chip."

"Emotion chip?" Geordi's irritation was plain on his expressive face. "Who are you to make modifications to him?"

The old man smiled, and suddenly Tasha knew why he looked so familiar. He looked like an aged, more realistically-colored version of the man lying on his table. "Well if I can't make modifications, who can?"

"You're Dr. Soong," Tasha realized. "Data's creator."

"Indeed." He smiled again. "Well, I've finished installing the chip. Let's see what happens."

Soong switched Data on. He blinked, took stock of his situation, and sat up.

"I am sorry for any concern I have caused." This remark was addressed specifically to the Away Team.

"I'm sure you weren't yourself," Tasha replied quickly. She hardly wanted his first emotion to be guilt.

"But tell me," he continued, "why have you included a civilian on the Away Team?"

Will and Geordi exchanged confused looks, but Tasha was half a step ahead. She pulled out her phaser and pointed it at Soong. "What have you done to him? Have you wiped his memory?"

"No." Soong looked completely befuddled. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Please, do not threaten my father."

"Father? You've never called me father before." Soong's voice now filled with pride.

"What would you prefer I called you? Often Wrong?"

Soong looked taken aback.

"That is what the colonists called you, is it not? Often Wrong Soong. A very sloppy rhyme. Wrong Soong. Wrong Soong. It just doesn't work. Hmm."

"Data, how are you feeling?" Soong seemed even more disconcerted, and he wasn't alone. The entire away team was wondering what had happened to the android.

Data continued the rhyme as if he hadn't heard Soong. "Often Wrong's got a broken heart." Then, with a smile that was almost a sneer, he finished, "Can't even tell his boys apart."

"My God," Tasha whispered, finally realizing what had happened.

"Lore." Soong had clearly come to the same conclusion. "This won't work. Those circuits, they weren't designed for you. Where's Data?"

"Where's Data?" Lore mocked. "You didn't fill Data with substandard parts, did you, old man. No, that honor was bestowed upon me. You owe me, old man. Not him, me!"

"It was not meant for you," Soong pleaded. "You're not listening to me. It must be removed."

"Nice try, Often Wrong. Nice try. I don't know exactly what it's doing, but it's doing something."

"I didn't know you were alive." They were inches apart now. "If I had-"

"Look out!" Lal shrieked suddenly as Lore made a grab for Soong. The man moved but not fast enough, and Lore tossed him like a rag doll. Tasha fired but it was too late. Lore was already beaming away.

"Are you all right?" Lal had raced to the man's side in an instant, with Will close behind. Seeing that they had the situation in hand, Tasha hurried into the next room.

Data lay on the floor, motionless and dressed in an outfit she assumed had been Lore's. In an instant, she was at his side and flipping the switch to reactivate him. Data blinked and sat up.

"Are you all right?"

"He surprised me."

"Lore?"

"Yes."

"The rest of the away team's in the other room. Can you stand?"

"I am undamaged." Data jumped easily to his feet, and the two of them hurried back into the other room.

"Would you mind telling me what's going on here?" Will demanded.

"I do not know. I was on the _Enterprise_, and now I am here with no memory of how I arrived."

"Mr. Data, there's a very sick little boy onboard the Enterprise who's not getting any better. We're dead in the water until you get us out of here." Will's patience was running out fast.

"It's all right," Soong broke in. "Access your third nested memory file and execute instruction five one five five. That will clear your memory block."

Data's head twitched as memory rushed back. "I was unaware of having caused any inconvenience, sir."

Will waved off Data's half-apology. "We'll discuss it later, Mr. Data. Doctor, you're coming with us, too. You need to get to Sickbay."

"Young man, I've lived here a long time. I have no plans to die anywhere else."

"But sir, our medical facility may be able to-"

"Go, go, go, go Data. Go. Go with your friends."

"Please, sir," Lal spoke up. "I would like very much to know you."

"Is that so, little lady? Why would you want to know a mad scientist like me?"

"You are, in a sense, my grandfather."

Soong's face took on a look of momentary confusion, which was then replaced by pure wonder. "Data, she's yours?"

"Yes. Lal is my daughter. I created her."

"She's beautiful." One of Soong's hands gently stroked the girl's cheek. "Well, who am I to argue with my granddaughter?"

"Riker to _Enterprise._ Six to beam up."

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"How is he, Doctor?"

Beverly sighed. "Tasha, he's dying."

"Isn't there anything you can do?"

"I've repaired the injuries from his fight with Lore, but his body is deteriorating. He has about two months, I'd say."

"Lal will be crushed. It was her who begged him to come back with her."

"She'll have two months with him. Two months she never would have gotten if he'd been left behind on the planet to die." She laid her hand on Tasha's arm. "I'll tell her for you."

xxxxxxxxx

"You wanted to see me?" The old man was seated in a chair in the quarters Data had procured for him. "Take a seat."

"Thank you, sir."

"Now, what can I do for you, miss?"

"Please, call me Tasha. I wanted to talk to you about Data."

"Ah, I was wondering how long it would take for that topic to come up. Though you're the first visitor I've had besides Data and Lal. But I did what no other man had ever done, and no other man except Data has done since."

"Sir, I'm a security officer, not a scientist. I'm not here to talk about your invention."

"I thought you said -"

"I don't want to talk about the machine, doctor. I want to talk about the man. Your son, not your invention."

"There aren't many people who'd be able to see Data as anything more than a machine."

"More than you might think. The entire senior staff of this ship, to start with. And Starfleet has ruled officially that Data is a man with the rights of any Federation citizen."

"What did you want to know about him?"

"Was he ever activated on Omicron Theta?"

"For several months."

"What was he like?" Tasha leaned forward slightly, eager to hear more.

"Very much like a young child."

"Asking fifty questions a second?"

"Exactly. Don't tell me he was still doing that when he was posted to this ship."

"Not so much. But Lal was the same way at first."

"She feels." It wasn't a question.

"We're actually not quite sure how that happened. It just - did. She almost died when the emotions surfaced. It sent her into cascade failure."

"How did you repair her?" Soong suddenly sat up straighter. "One of the androids I created before Data suffered cascade failure, and even I couldn't fix him."

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Would you by any chance be willing to return the favor?"

"Sir?"

"I haven't seen Data for decades. What is he like now? I have to know. And Lal. I want to know about her too."

"He's - well, I suppose you could say he's grown up. A lot of that happened since he came on the _Enterprise_. I know he was mostly shunted aside by Starfleet until Captain Picard came around and taught him to stick up for himself and not just take whatever Starfleet decided to hand him. He picked Data for the second officer position and gave him his first promotion in years."

"What about friends? Personal relationships?"

"Well, there's Geordi - that's Commander La Forge, our Chief Engineer."

"The man with the visual aid?"

"Yes. To be honest, Geordi was a little shy and nervous at first. I think that he and Data both felt a little out of place, so they latched on to each other. I've never known a closer pair of friends. It's the same with Worf. Worf, like Data, is the first of his kind in Starfleet, and doesn't quite fit around humans."

"The first of what kind, if you don't mind my asking?"

"He's a Klingon. I'm actually closer to him than Data is, but there's a bond between the two. Really, though, Data's bonded with most of this crew."

"And you? Where do you fit in with Data?"

Tasha blushed slightly. "We've been involved with each other for a little under three years. Lal considers me her mother, and I consider her my child."

"Three years." Soong looked both shocked and amazed. "That's better than I ever could have imagined. I installed the programs to make a relationship possible, but I really didn't think he'd ever be able to have a long-term relationship. I didn't think any woman would ever be able to stay with a man who couldn't love her."

"I couldn't." At Soong's raised eyebrow, she continued, "I don't think Data's as incapable of love as he thinks he is. A few months after we got together, I lost someone very dear to me. Data found me brooding alone and came to sit with me and take care of me. He may not be able to sense emotions the way you or I do, but he feels in his own way."

"Do you love him?"

"More than anything."

"Promise me something. My time is running out. Promise you'll care for Data and Lal when I'm gone."

"I promise."

xxxxxxxxx

"Data, please report to Sickbay."

He glanced over at Picard, who nodded. "On my way."

Tasha stood in some puzzlement. Data was constantly called to different parts of the ship to render aid. So why did this call fill her with dread?

_Soong_. The answer hit her like a punch in the stomach. It was nearing the end of the two months Beverly had given the old man.

Her suspicion was confirmed less than an hour later, when Beverly's voice came over the comm. "Sickbay to Captain."

"Go ahead, Doctor."

"I'm afraid it's bad news. Dr. Soong is dead."

"Captain," Tasha said quickly, "permission to leave the bridge."

"Granted." Picard didn't need to ask any questions.

Tasha hurried to the turbolift. "Sickbay."

It seemed to take forever for the lift to reach its destination. The second the doors opened, Tasha bolted through them, almost running over an ensign who happened to be standing in the wrong place.

It was clear from the moment she entered Sickbay that Lal was taking the loss hardest. She was crying, leaning against her father's chest. His chin rested on the crown of her head, and Tasha knew that while he couldn't feel the agonizing sense of loss that gripped their daughter, he was grieving in his own way.

It was what Soong would have wanted.

xxxxxxxxx

"There is a portion of my final conversation with my father that I wish to share with you."

"Data, you don't have to tell me anything. Whatever he said is between you and him."

"This concerns you, Tasha. Only a few minutes before he died, he imparted to me a story of his own past. He said that at some point in his past, he had had a wonderful woman, but he let his work become more important than her, and she left him. He told me that I could not have a better family than you and Lal, and instructed me to place the two of you above all else, even my career." His fingers ran through her hair. "I intend to honor his last instructions to me. You are too special to me for me to allow you to - how did he put it - slip away."

Tasha drew him to her and kissed him. "I love you too, Data."

**Please review.**

**I just realized I left a reference to a deleted bit in my AN. Ignore what was written here before.  
**


	16. Chapter Sixteen: Ghost of the Past

**Big Doors**

**Disclaimer: **If you recognize it, it's not mine. This is an AU story.

_**Chapter Sixteen: Ghost of the Past**_

From the moment they stepped onto the bridge, the senior staff could tell something was wrong. Picard's face was very grim, and the speed with which the stars were zipping by suggested an unusual haste.

"Captain, what's going on?" Will asked quickly.

"The freighter _Arcos_ has suffered a mechanical failure. They're anticipating a complete breakdown within the hour."

"Are there any M-class planets in their immediate vicinity?" Data queried.

Picard glanced momentarily at Tasha, and immediately she felt uncomfortable. What was going on?

"The _Arcos_ has assumed an emergency orbit around Turkana Four," he explained, "but they're apprehensive about landing on the surface. There are no other planets in that system capable of supporting life."

"They can't land." Tasha's voice was sharp, "Captain, tell them. _They can't land_. It wouldn't be safe."

"Hail the _Arcos_." Picard was willing to trust Tasha's word on this one.

"Channel open, sir."

"_Arcos_, this is the _Enterprise_. Do not land on Turkana Four for any reason. I repeat, do not land."

"Confirmed, _Enterprise_."

xxxxxxxxx

"We will be entering the Turkana system in eleven minutes," Data reported from his console.

"Engine status?" Picard requested.

"Stable. But we have maintained warp factor nine for longer than is recommended, sir."

"Subspace message from the _Arcos_," Tasha informed him. "Their transmitter is failing, sir. Audio only."

"Let's hear it."

"Enterprise, this is Tan Tsu, Arcos engineer. Estimate five minutes till warp drive containment breach." The sound of an explosion came through the link. "Make that three minutes. Thanks for trying, _Enterprise_."

"Ensign, warp nine point three. How much time?" he added to Data.

"Seven minutes and fifteen seconds will bring us within transporter range, Captain."

"Nine point six. Mr. O'Brien, prepare to lock onto the two crewmen."

"Aye, Captain." O'Brien's voice came over the comm.

"We are now entering the Turkana system, sir," Data reported.

"Slow to impulse."

"Visual contact."

"Get them out of there, O'Brien!" Will ordered. But the words were barely out of his mouth before the ship exploded in a flash of flame. "Status, O'Brien?" he demanded.

"There's nothing to lock onto, Commander."

"I am reading an ion trail characteristic of a freighter escape pod," Data reported.

"Unable to establish contact." Tasha added.

"It could have been damaged by the explosion," Picard suggested. "They may have been able to maintain orbit."

"Let's hope they stay clear of the colony," Will put in. Tasha couldn't agree more.

"That is exactly where the ion trail is leading, Commander." Data's pronouncement sent a shiver of fear through Tasha.

"Hail the colony," Picard ordered, and Tasha obeyed immediately, glad to have a task to focus on.

"No response, and frankly I don't think we're going to get one."

"They haven't been able to maintain reliable communications since their government fell apart." Will only confirmed what Tasha knew.

"The last Federation vessel to make contact was the_ Potemkin_, six years ago," Data pointed out. "They were warned that anyone transporting down to the colony would be killed."

"Number One," Picard said after a brief pause, "ready an away team."

"Data, you're with me. Doctor Crusher, meet us in Transporter Room Three. Tasha -" he sighed briefly, "I'm not going to ask you to come down with us. You're free to send someone else in your place."

"Don't be ridiculous, Commander. You need me on this. I know my way around down there. I'm coming."

Will's eyebrow raised slightly in surprise."As you wish."

xxxxxxxxx

"Freeze! Identify yourselves."

"We're from the Federation Starship _Enterprise_," Will explained. "We tracked two of our crewmen to this area. Do you know anything about them?"

"Maybe."

Will frowned. "What do you mean?"

"What he means," Tasha interrupted, "is that it depends what we're willing to pay for the information."

"Smart girl."

"Don't play with me," she snapped icily. "I know your type."

"You don't know anything about me, Federation."

"I know more than you think."

Suddenly, a light inside the man's chest started flashing yellow.

"They found us!"

"Proximity detectors," Tasha explained.

"Follow me!" he shouted. The rest of the man's group did so, but Will hesitated, glancing over at Tasha.

"Follow him, but keep your phasers ready. I don't trust him a bit, but I don't want whoever's chasing them to find us."

They hurried after the group. They were led through tunnel after tunnel until they came to some sort of headquarters.

"Come with me," the man ordered. Tasha nodded slightly to Will and they did as he said. He took them into an office, where they were met by a man and a woman.

"Offworlders," the raid's leader explained. "Federation, they said."

"I'm Commander William Riker of the Federation Starship _Enterprise. _We tracked two of our crewmen to the area where we encountered your men."

"I'm Hayne," the man introduced, "and this is Ishara."

Tasha felt her blood freeze. She glanced at the woman, but Ishara didn't seem to have noticed her.

"Your men are being held hostage."

"What do you want for them?" Will asked sharply,

"The Alliance is holding your men hostage, Commander Riker, not us. You can expect a ransom demand."

"The Alliance?"

"One of the factions fighting for control of the colony," Tasha explained, struggling to keep her voice level. "The people we're dealing with at the moment are called the Coalition. They're another faction."

Hayne raised an eyebrow. "Tell me, how does a Federation type like yourself know so much about our government?"

"I think I can explain that."

All eyes turned to Ishara, who was staring at Tasha now.

"You see, there was a time she was just like us. But she decided she was better than all of us and decided to run away when things got tough. Isn't that right?"

"I didn't run away," Tasha snapped icily. "And I asked you to come with me. Don't blame me because you were too stupid to listen."

"You ran away from your problems. That was always your way, wasn't it? Run and hide."

"Would we be correct in assuming that the two of you are acquainted?" Data voiced what was on everyone's mind.

"Yes," Tasha answered, still not taking her eyes off the other woman. "I believe Hayne's introduction was incomplete. This is Ishara Yar. My sister."

xxxxxxxxx

"What's the situation, Number One?"

"The Alliance has made a ransom demand. The Coalition has agreed to assist us in order to prevent us from paying the ransom. They're sending one of their people up to us."

"Understood, Number One."

"And Captain? Their liaison is Tasha's sister."

Picard's face showed his shock, but all he said was "Understood."

xxxxxxxxx

"You never mentioned the existence of a sister."

"Look, it just never came up, all right?"

"I am curious. You have been apart from Ishara for fifteen years, correct?"

"Yes."

"And yet, you do not seem to take any pleasure from seeing her again. Do you not care for her?"

"It's not that, Data. I love her - maybe that's part of why it's so hard. She joined the Coalition about a year before I managed to get out of that hellhole. When the _Saratoga_ offered me a way out, I braved sneaking into Coalition headquarters to ask her to come with me. Not only did she refuse, she yelled out that I was down there. Almost got me killed."

"And this angered you?"

"Yes - and it hurt me. She was only ten and she'd already decided they were more important to her than I was, and I'd taken care of her for all but a few months of her life."

"You felt that she had betrayed you."

"When did you get so perceptive?"

"Do you dislike it?"

"On the contrary. I like it very much."

"Computer," Data said, knowing the likely outcome of their conversation, "secure the door."

His instincts proved correct. The discussion took a new direction, lasted a few more minutes, and then very little talking was done for the rest of the night.

xxxxxxxxx

"She never mentioned me?"

"I believe she said it 'never came up.' From the way she spoke, it seems that you and she are not close."

"It wasn't always like that. When I was little, I idolized her. Our parents were killed in a crossfire right after I was born. We moved in with some other people but a month later they died too. From then on, Tasha took care of me. She kept me safe and made sure I had food. I thought she could do no wrong. But then when I started growing up, I realized we lived our lives in hiding. I wasn't old enough yet to understand that was what kept us alive. I thought she was a coward. I saw the cadres as something more, something better. They didn't hide in shadows. So when I was nine, I joined the Coalition. I tried to take Tasha with me but she refused. She blamed the cadres for our parents' deaths. We had a major blowup that ended with me leaving her in the tiny bunker we'd built and running into the arms of the Coalition. We only spoke once after that, when she tried to convince me to come with her to Starfleet. I was so eager to prove my loyalty to the Coalition I betrayed her."

"But when you met her, you appeared angry."

"I was a million things at once. Anger was just the one that came to the surface." She smiled suddenly. "Listen to me. I'm pouring out my heart to a robot."

"Actually, there is a distinct difference between an android and a robot. And you are not the first to speak to me about personal matters. Tasha does so often."

Ishara smiled. "You're close to her, aren't you?"

"She is the mother of my child."

Ishara sputtered for a few seconds before managing a shocked "Excuse me?"

"Approximately eleven months ago, I created another android, Lal, as my child. I did not believe that I alone would be able to provide everything she would need, therefore I asked Tasha to be Lal's mother."

Ishara laughed now. "You had me going for a second."

"I do not comprehend."

"Usually, when a man says a woman is his child's mother, he's got something different in mind."

"If you are referring to an intimate relationship, Tasha and I do have one, however it was not a factor in Lal's creation."

This led to more sputtering. "You're telling me you and Tasha - well, that you -"

"Is that unexpected?"

"Well - yes - no - I don't know. Somehow in my head it seems like she'll always be the way she was when she was fourteen, the way she was in the last real conversation we ever had. I didn't recognize her, you know. Not at first. I just sort of thought she looked familiar."

"But you became aware of her identity."

"She knew too much about our situation to be a stranger. That by itself wasn't enough, just like thinking she looked familiar wasn't enough. But when I put the two together, I was able to figure it out."

"I understand."

"Oh, and Data? I don't think my sister would appreciate you handing out the details of your relationship to anyone who approaches the subject."

xxxxxxxxx

"I knew it was a stupid idea!"

"Tasha, calm down."

"Damn it, Will, don't tell me to calm down! That's my sister in there!"

When Will had materialized on the transporter pad holding the unconscious Ishara in his arms, Tasha's heart had nearly stopped. She had been so agitated and impatient that Beverly had kicked her out of Sickbay so she could work, with the result that she was now pacing the hallway in front of the door.

"I didn't believe her when she said she wanted to help. I was so sure she had an ulterior motive. God, my baby sister, and I couldn't even take her at her word."

Will was about to offer another comfort when the doors to Sickbay slid open.

"She'll be fine," Beverly reported.

"Can I see her?" Tasha's question was almost a plea.

"I don't see why not." The sentence was barely out of her mouth before Tasha was pushing past her.

Ishara had a small smile on her face. "The doctor told me she had to throw you out."

"I was so worried." Tears brimmed in Tasha's eyes; she forced them back.

"I'm tough." Ishara unconsciously mimicked a phrase her sister had used many a time.

"You didn't see yourself on that transporter pad. I thought you were already dead." Her voice choked. "I've never been good at emotional displays, but - I love you, Ishara." She pulled her sister into her arms.

"I love you too, Tasha." Ishara was grateful for the embrace. It kept Tasha from seeing the sudden pain and confusion in her face.

A day ago, her assignment had seemed so straightforward. But now, the idea of betraying her sister - again - filled her with dread. And yet, so did betraying the people who'd become her family. And she couldn't be loyal to both.

When had her life become so complicated?

xxxxxxxxx

Ishara knelt in front of the generator. The panel was off. Her task was so easy. Just disable the system.

_The _Enterprise_ got what they wanted_, she thought. _I did what I promised to do. I'm not betraying them. I'm not._

But she didn't really believe that. She couldn't.

"No," she whispered to the empty room. "I won't do it."

"You don't mean that."

She leaped about a foot and whirled to see Hayne standing behind her. "What are you doing here?"

"Keeping an eye on you. I'm not stupid, Ishara. I could tell when we talked that you were having second thoughts. Now, do it."

"No." In that moment, Ishara felt her doubts melt away completely, and she stared resolutely into Hayne's eyes. This time she'd get it right. This time her sister came first.

Faster than she could blink, Hayne had Ishara's phaser off her belt. "I said, _do it_."

"And _I_ said no. I made the mistake of betraying my sister once. I won't do it again."

"You sure about that?"

"Absolutely."

"I didn't want it to end this way, but you've left me no choice." Then he pressed the Federation phaser against her chest, right where her implant had once been, and fired.

Ishara slumped to her knees and then fell sideways. Hayne stepped over her to access the fusion generator and began pushing buttons.

"Hayne?" Data's evenly-measured voice filled the room. "What are you doing here? Where is Ishara?"

"Stay out of this, Federation. You're not involved. And that goes for you too!"

"The fusion generator -" but he never got any further. Tasha had fully entered the room.

"_Ishara_!" In an instant, she was at her sister's side, gathering the younger woman into her arms. Ishara was barely conscious and her breathing was ragged. Tasha heard Data talking to Hayne and Hayne jeering back, but it didn't matter.

"Ishara! Ishara, stay with me."

Ishara opened her eyes weakly. "Tasha -"

"Shh, shh. I'm here."

"I couldn't - couldn't do it - you mean too much." Ishara's strength was fading fast, but she had to keep talking, had to tell Tasha what had happened. "I won't - betray you - again."

"Don't talk. Everything's going to be all right." Tasha's eyes welled up with tears.

"I - love - you." The last was barely a whisper, forced through Ishara's throat. The gray eyes focused on Tasha's face. Then Ishara's head fell back and her labored breathing stilled.

"Tasha." That was Data. "We must get her to Sickbay."

Tasha nodded numbly and offered no protest when Data pulled her sister from her arms. Still on autopilot, Tasha stood and followed him to the beam-out site. She wasn't really dead, she'd be all right. They could bring her back -

"She's gone."

Beverly's words cut through Tasha's haze like a knife. A knife that kept cutting deeper and deeper until it cut right through to her heart. She gasped in sudden pain, feeling her knees hit the floor but not aware of how they'd ended up there. Someone was kneeling behind her, and Tasha leaned back against whoever-it-was, grateful for the support.

"Do you want to see her?" A gentle voice asked in her ear. Beverly.

Tasha nodded slightly. The doctor helped her stand and guided her to the bed.

Ishara lay on the bed, still as a statue, her eyes still wide and staring. With a shaking hand, Tasha closed them.

Only five words came to her lips. "I love you too, Ishara."

xxxxxxxxx

Tasha lay curled in her bed, trying in vain to find a way to make her pain bearable. No matter what she did, it still felt like she was being torn apart from the inside out. The only thing that could possibly keep her together was the hand on her back.

Hand on her back?

Tasha rolled over and her eyes met a gold pair. If Tasha hadn't known better, she would have sworn they were filled with concern.

"Is there anything I can do?"

"Just - be with me?"

Data quickly divested himself of his boots and laid down next to her. She buried her face in his shoulder, and he began rubbing her back. Her shoulders shuddered and then she started sobbing. Data just held her close. There was nothing else he could do.

So why did he feel like this was inadequate?

**Please review. I do make a point of responding to signed reviews.**


	17. Chapter Seventeen: The Pain of an End

**Big Doors**

**Disclaimer: **If you recognize it, it's not mine. This is an AU story.

_**Chapter Seventeen: The Pain of an End**_

"How did it happen?" Will asked.

"He was able to scramble the signal from his proximity detector so that the Alliance's sensors would mistake it for one of their own." Data's statement was as frank as ever, but his voice was pitched slightly softer than normal. Ishara's death had clearly affected him.

"What was he doing there?" Will wasn't letting it go that easily. "What was she doing there?"

"When I entered the room, he had set the fusion generator to overload. I believe that was originally Ishara's mission, but when she faltered, he killed her and proceeded to complete the task himself."

"So let me get this straight. She separated from the group, shot two guards, got the panel off the generator, and then hesitated - why?"

"Because of me." Tasha's voice was choked with grief. "She said she wouldn't betray me again. I wish she had." She bit her lower lip hard, struggling not to cry. Geordi, sitting closest to her, took her hand under the table and squeezed it. She shot him a grateful look.

"I don't think it's going to be very hard to get a conviction," Will said, intentionally redirecting the conversation. " After Worf's team picked him up, Hayne admitted everything. In his mind, he didn't do anything wrong, so he has nothing to hide."

Picard nodded. "Anything further?"

No one spoke.

"Very well. We'll reconvene at 1500 hours tomorrow, about an hour before we'll reach starbase."

"Fifty-seven minutes and thirteen seconds."

"Thank you, Mr. Data. Dismissed." And then, as the senior staff began filing out, "Natasha. Please remain."

The door slid shut and they were left alone. Instantly, he rounded the table to stand next to her.

"I wanted to tell you how truly sorry I am for your loss." He placed his hands on her shoulders.

Tasha tried to thank him, but her throat was too tight. She closed her eyes against her tears, but it was no use. They spilled out anyway.

Picard pulled her close, stroking her hair as she cried. She clutched at his uniform, silently begging him to take care of her. He understood.

"I used to dream about this," she admitted quietly once she was able to speak again.

"About what? Losing your sister?"

"No - not exactly." She felt suddenly uncomfortable, knowing she was about to tell him something she'd never told anyone, but she'd said too much to stop now. "When I was younger, and I was hurting, I would dream about having a father who would come and comfort me, take care of me, make sure I was all right. I'd almost forgotten about it. Being back on Turkana must have made me remember."

Picard hugged her again, close to tears himself. Just when he thought her horror stories couldn't get any worse, something like this happened to prove him wrong.

"Tasha, I know that you and Mr. Data are close, and that you have been using him as a confidant, but if you ever need someone else to talk to -"

"I know where to find you. Thank you, sir."

"And Tasha?"

"Sir?"

A smile lit up his face. "I couldn't ask for a better daughter."

xxxxxxxxx

"Tasha, are you not pleased with the outcome of the court proceedings?"

"On the contrary. I'm glad they're locking the bastard away for life."

"You do not appear pleased."

"It's just - what does it matter now? Nothing that court could do to him can bring Ishara back. It just feels like too little too late."

"But, to use a human phrase, it is better than nothing."

"Yes." She half-smiled. "I suppose it is."

Data sat down next to her and slid his arm behind her back, gently pulling her into his shoulder. "I am here for you, Tasha. I promise."

xxxxxxxxx

Tasha didn't know what she'd been expecting when she'd heard the ambassador was bringing someone else aboard, but the toddler that materialized on the transporter pad certainly wasn't it.

"Ambassador K'Ehleyr. If you don't mind my asking, who's your traveling companion?"

"This is my son Alexander."

"What's your name?" The little boy looked up at her through wide eyes.

"My name is Tasha." She got down on one knee and formally shook his hand. "It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance."

He frowned."What's that mean?"

"It means it's nice to meet you."

"Oh, okay." A smile lit up the boy's face.

"Excuse me, Commander, but is there somewhere I can leave Alexander while I handle matters with the Captain?"

Tasha smiled. "I've got an idea."

xxxxxxxxx

"Now you be good for Lal," K'Ehleyr told her son gently. He nodded solemnly, and she kissed him on the forehead. "I'll see you later."

"How old is he?" Tasha asked as they walked back down the corridor.

"Two."

"Two? Then you must have been pregnant when you came on board last."

"Well - almost."

"Almost? What's that supposed to mean?"

K'Ehleyr just smiled. "Oh, come on. Figure it out."

Tasha's jaw dropped. "You mean Alexander's father is someone on this ship? I can't imagine anyone on this ship abandoning his child. Bridge," she added to the turbolift.

"That's on me. I never told him."

"Who was it?"

"Do you have to ask?"

"Computer, halt turbolift." Tasha spun to face K'Ehleyr. "Are you telling me that _Worf_ -"

"I knew you'd sort it out eventually."

"Are you going to tell him?"

"I suppose I'm going to have to. Computer, resume."

xxxxxxxxx

"You are not a hen." The first thing Tasha and K'Ehleyr heard when they entered Tasha's quarters was Lal's voice, pitched to a high, childish squeak. "You are not a dog. You are not a cow. You are not a boat, or a plane, or a Snort! You are a bird, and you are my mother."

Alexander was sitting on Lal's lap, gazing adoringly up at her. "That was a good story. Will you tell me another one?"

"Alexander." K'Ehleyr drew his attention to her. "We have to go. Say goodbye to Lal."

"Bye!" He waved his tiny hand and then followed his mother out."

xxxxxxxxx

The next time Tasha saw K'Ehleyr, she looked slightly uncomfortable.

"Trouble?"

"You know how they always say children are impressionable?"

"Tell me about it!" Tasha fell into step with the Klingon woman. "A couple of weeks after Data created Lal, she saw two crewmembers kissing but didn't understand the significance behind it, so when Will Riker walked into Ten-Forward, she pulled him across the bar and kissed him. He'd been on shoreleave, so he didn't even know who she was." She laughed. "What did Alexander do?"

"You remember that story Lal was telling him yesterday about the bird who walks around trying to find his mother?"

"Yes, of course."

"Well Alexander spent this morning walking around the ship asking random men if they were his father. This went on for a good half hour before I caught on."

"He didn't run into Worf, did he?"

"Thankfully, no. Then again, I think Worf's been hiding from both of us since the talk I had with him yesterday."

"He didn't take it well?"

"Not only is he angry I didn't tell him, but he refuses to acknowledge Alexander as his son. It's this stupid discommendation. I've told him time and again I don't care and that I haven't raised Alexander to put any stock in such a thing, but he won't listen."

"That's Worf for you." The two of them shared a smile.

xxxxxxxxx

"Now what?" Tasha said without preamble. It was clear K'Ehleyr was upset.

"I tried to take the Oath with him. Last time I was here, he tried to take it with me but I was too stubborn. But this time he was the stubborn one."

"You weren't here when the discommendation happened. It almost destroyed him. You know as well as I do that his Klingon heritage means the world to him. To lose that was worse for him than death." She laid a hand on her friend's arm. "I know it's hard to accept - I wouldn't accept it in your place - but he really is doing what he thinks is best for the two of you."

"What's best for us is to have him. For the time being, I've talked him into mentoring Alexander as a friend, but in the long run that won't be enough."

"I know that. But Worf doesn't yet. Give him time. I think he'll come around."

xxxxxxxxx

Tasha pressed the child's face into her shoulder, trying to shield him from the horror that lay before him. But it was too late. She knew he'd already seen it, and it would be burned into his mind for the rest of his life.

"Mama, mama." The boy was sobbing into her shirt. Tasha rubbed his back, wishing she could do more.

"What's going on here?" Picard ran into the room and stopped short when he saw the body of the Ambassador. "Who is responsible for this?"

"I don't know, Captain." Tasha spoke to him over Alexander's head.

"Who found her?"

"Worf and Alexander. And I don't know where Worf went."

"He said two names." Alexander spoke from Tasha's arms. "He said - he said Gowron, and she shook her head no, and then he said Duras, and she nodded yes."

"I think we have our assassin, sir. And if I'm not mistaken, you'll find Worf on Duras' ship."

"Where will I go now?" Alexander asked through a fresh flood of tears.

"For the moment, you can stay with Data and me. We'll find a more permanent arrangement later."

xxxxxxxxx

"Worf?" Tasha stood tentatively in the door of her friend's quarters.

"The Captain has already reprimanded me."

"Worf, I'm not here as your superior officer. I'm your friend and I want to talk to you as a friend."

"For what purpose?"

"You loved her." It wasn't a question.

"Yes," he admitted. "I did."

She reached tentatively for his hand and, when he didn't protest, took it between both of hers. "I know what you're going through."

"You cannot."

"Yes, I can. Don't you remember that time we all thought Data was dead?"

"He was not."

"I didn't know that at the time. I was in as much pain as you are now."

He raised his gaze to meet hers, and she was frightened by what she saw. His eyes were empty, hollow.

"You helped me then. Let me help you now." She hesitated for a second, then took him in her arms. What really scared her was that he offered only a token resistance.

"I'm here for you." And then she had to stop talking because her throat was clogged with tears for her friend and for the little boy sleeping in her quarters.

xxxxxxxxx

"What is the matter?" Data could see that Tasha was visibly upset. "Is it the Ambassador?"

"Well, sort of."

"Then what is it?"

"You know what I see when I look on that bed?" She nodded towards the room she usually used, where Alexander was sleeping now.

"A Klingon child?" Data sounded more confused than ever.

She shook her head. "I see me, Data."

"I do not comprehend."

"You know that I was five when my parents were killed. What I never told you was that I saw them right after it happened. There was nothing more terrifying than seeing their bodies riddled with phaser fire, and I was so young -" She broke off. "Alexander's younger. He'll remember this for the rest of his life, just like I did - like I still do."

"Perhaps you should rest," he suggested quietly. "You might feel better."

"Rest where? I don't want to bother Alexander."

"You do not need to. I have been - experimenting with the furniture in our quarters." He removed the cushions from the couch and pulled out a bed. Tasha shook her head and managed a small smile.

"You're full of surprises, aren't you?" She laid down, and Data pulled the blankets over her.

"Good night," he whispered. She didn't respond; she was already asleep.

But Data was pulled from his work only a few hours later by a soft whimper. "Mama? Mama, please wake up."

He abandoned the PADD and hurried over to the couch. Tasha was crying in her sleep, curled into a ball. "Mama? Why won't you wake up?"

As he pulled her into his arms, an image rose unbidden to his mind. Alexander, years older, sobbing in his sleep, crying for his own mother.

If he could feel emotions, he was certain he'd feel sorrow.

**With the addition of this chapter, this story is now the longest on my page in terms of chapters as well as words.**

**Please Review. Double Brownie Points for anyone who can tell me what the passage Lal recites to Alexander is from!  
**


	18. Chapter Eighteen: New Beginnings

**Big Doors**

**Disclaimer: **If you recognize it, it's not mine. This is an AU story.

_**Chapter Eighteen: New Beginnings**_

"Tasha! Guess what?"

"Sit down." Tasha couldn't help wanting to laugh at her friend's palpable enthusiasm. She'd only known the _Enterprise_'s resident botanist for about a year, but it was long enough to know that such displays were very uncharacteristic. "Now, tell me what you were going to say."

Keiko glanced around and giggled nervously. "I'm getting married!"

"You mean he proposed?"

If it was possible, Keiko's smile got even bigger. "Yep. And it's all thanks to Data, really!"

Tasha hugged her friend. "I can't believe it! Wait," she amended, "actually, I can. You two are such a perfect couple."

"Tasha." Another nervous giggle. "Can I ask you something?"

"Fire away."

A shy smile replaced the exuberant grin. "Will you be my maid of honor?"

"You mean that?"

"Of course! You're my best friend on this ship." Keiko was grinning again, and it was quickly infectious.

"Well, who am I to argue with that?"

Keiko laughed. "Good. Now I won't have to use my bargaining chip."

"Bargaining chip?"

"Data's filling in for my father."

"Really?"

"Really. You'd be left without an escort."

"I suppose I'll have to take you up on that, then."

"Oh, and Tasha?"

"Yes?"

"If you don't mind, you're the maid of honor for a civilian botanist. Just for a day, could you dress like a civilian maid of honor? One actual dress in a parade of dress uniforms?"

"Hmm." Tasha pretended to think for a second. "I think I can work something out."

xxxxxxxxx

"Whoa, watch where you're going!" Tasha put out a hand to stop an overexcited Wesley Crusher from barreling into another ensign. "What's got you so excited?"

"Sorry." He grinned sheepishly before announcing his news to her - and about half the deck. "I'm going to the Academy! The Captain said a position has opened up, and I'm expected to report in two weeks."

"That's wonderful!" She hugged him tightly. In the past two years, he'd gotten tall enough that she had to look up to look him in the eye.

"_And_ he's taking me with him on the mission to Pentarus V. He said it'd be a good learning experience."

Tasha pretended to pout. "So he decided to keep your last mission all to himself, huh?"

Wesley grinned. "Something like that."

xxxxxxxxx

"Let's get out of here."

Tasha couldn't have agreed more with the _Enterprise_'s first officer. They'd all been on edge since getting the news that Wesley and the Captain were missing. The hours it took to get back to the Pentarus system felt like weeks, and what they found sent a chill through her.

"Debris, sir." Data's matter-of-fact statement drove another stake through her heart.

"Are you certain?"

"It is definitely debris. The primary material is duranium, with smaller proportions of sonodanite and ermanium."

"Most shuttlecraft hulls are made of duranium." Geordi tried and failed to get the statement out flatly.

"Then they're gone." Beverly's stark statement, laced with agony, only echoed what Tasha was thinking.

"Not necessarily, Doctor." Tasha felt her heart leap at Data's words. "There is far too little debris to account for an entire shuttlecraft."

"So what is it?" Will demanded.

It was Geordi who figured it out. "You know, Dirgo had his maneuvering thrusters rigged a funny way. Claimed it was more efficient. If one of them blew it might have left debris like that."

"If only one of his thrusters was out, he could still have set down somewhere." The bridge staff began to feel their grief replaced with hope.

"The only Class M planets in the system are Pentarus two and five, both of which have been thoroughly searched by the miners." Even though he knew it meant "raining on the parade" as the saying went, he felt compelled to point out the obvious.

"What about other bodies? Moons?" Tasha pressed. "They haven't searched anything but the two planets yet.

"There are four moons in the Pentarus system that could support life."

"Which one is the closest one to the debris coordinates?" Will demanded.

"Lambda Paz, one of the moons of Pentarus Three."

"Set a course. Maximum impulse."

They weren't disappointed. They quickly found the wreckage, as well as an arrow pointing towards a mountain range.

"Ensign, move us to synchronous orbit with that mountain range. Mr. Data, scan for life signs."

"Unable, sir. There is too much interference. There is a series of caves in the mountains I cannot penetrate."

"Then we'll start a manual search there. Everyone form search teams. Spread out and start searching the caves."

"Aye, sir!" everyone on the bridge yelled at once.

xxxxxxxxx

Wesley's resolve to stand on his own two feet lasted as long as it took to get to the beam-out site. As soon as he materialized on the transporter pad, he fell backwards. Fortunately, Tasha had been expecting this and was in exactly the right position to catch the exhausted young ensign.

Beverly turned, worry written all over her face, but Wesley waved her off. "I'm okay, mom. I promise."

"I'll take care of him," Tasha added. "You worry about the captain."

Beverly nodded, and Tasha helped Wesley to his quarters. He all but collapsed on the couch.

"You need anything?" Tasha could tell that Wesley was far too tired to get up.

"A glass of water would be nice."

Tasha brought the requested item, and he gulped it down.

"Let me guess. You stayed up for days on end to take care of the captain and gave him all the water because you thought he needed it more."

"How'd you know?"

She smiled. "Because you're a lot like me. And I did the same thing once."

"You did? When?"

"When I was at the Academy. It's kind of a long story."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"All right. I was on a shuttle with another cadet in my year, a man who was widely known as the best pilot at the Academy. I needed a little extra help with my piloting, so it was my flight instructor's idea to pair the two of us together on a shuttle run so he could help me out. What we didn't realize was that a couple of engineering students had been tinkering with the shuttles, and that at one point one of them, unable to remember one of the steps in a process he was performing and unwilling to sacrifice his pride to ask for help, had made his best guess and messed up the wiring just enough so that something blew out en route -"

_"We're in trouble!" The cadet piloting, whose name Tasha couldn't remember, frantically pressed a few buttons. "I can't hold her together. Can you find a place for us to set down?"_

_Tasha accessed the sensors. "I'm reading a Class M planet about a thousand kilometers from here, but it's completely uninhabited."_

_"We don't have a choice," the pilot said grimly. "I don't dare take her to warp, not in this condition. What are the coordinates?"_

_Tasha rattled them off, and he started pressing buttons. In a few moments, the planet loomed before them._

_"I'm taking her in. Brace for impact."_

_Tasha grabbed the console in front of her and hung on. The shuttle plunged through the atmosphere. The pilot continued making adjustments, apparently trying to land as smoothly as possible._

_But smooth was the last word Tasha would have used to describe their landing. The ship plowed into the planet and then skimmed roughly along the surface, hit a particularly rough spot, and flipped end-over-end, coming to rest upside-down._

_With an expertise learned from years of rough treatment and reinforced by her security training, Tasha was able to tuck and roll when she was thrown from her seat, landing on the roof of the shuttle relatively unharmed. The pilot was not so lucky. He flopped out of his chair and was tossed about like a rag doll._

_When the shaking and jolting stopped, Tasha looked up. The young man lay sprawled on the floor. She hurried over to him._

_"Hey." This would've been a lot easier if she could remember his name. "Hey. You all right?"_

_Light blue eyes blinked open. "Just dandy. What happened?"_

_"Our landing didn't turn out quite the way we planned."_

_"Ow." He tried to sit up and groaned._

_"What hurts?"_

_"Why do you care?"_

_"In case you haven't noticed, we're all alone down here. Someone's got to take care of you."_

_"I think my leg's broken, and everything hurts. I feel like I got run over by a pickup truck."_

_"A what?"_

_"Never mind." _

_She knelt over him. "Which leg?"_

_"The left. Yes, that one. Ow!" He yelled as she touched it._

_"Sorry. You're right, it's broken. I'm going to have to immobilize that. Now, besides the generic 'everything hurts', is there anywhere else you're feeling a particularly strong pain?"_

_"My right shoulder and side."_

_Tasha carefully probed at both areas, jerking back when he moaned in pain. "Your collarbone and a few ribs are broken too. Wait here, I need to find something to treat you."_

_She returned with two long pieces of plastic that she'd pulled from the paneling of the shuttle and as much bandaging as she could find._

_"Replicator's out," she reported, carefully splinting his leg with the plastic strips. "Stay off that," she added. "It's only immobilized, not fixed. And I'm going to have to immobilize your right arm too." She managed to create a sling with one of the bandages. "That'll keep you from doing more damage to your collarbone."_

_"Can I sit up now?"_

_"I don't see why not, as long as you're careful."_

_He did. "So, what do we do now?"_

_"Well, we'll start with me admitting I forgot your name."_

_This got a small smile out of him. "It's Tom. Tom Paris."_

_"Tasha Yar. Now I'm going to go have a look around. Try not to move too much."_

"The planet was pretty barren," Tasha explained to Wesley. "Not as bad as that moon you ended up on, but close. I couldn't find a source of water anywhere, and Tom and I were stuck on the planet until someone found us. When I got back to the ship, I realized that it was worse than I'd thought."

_Tom was sitting slumped over, breathing raggedly. Instantly, Tasha was at his side._

_"Tom? What is it?"_

_"I don't know - everything hurts. Everything really hurts."_

_"You may be bleeding internally." She tried desperately not to think of Turkana, of the people she'd seen die of injuries like Tom's. This was the Federation, they had doctors, he'd be fine._

_"I'm really thirsty. I can't reach the storage bins without standing up. Would you mind...?"_

_Almost instantly, she'd procured and opened a water packet. He took it in his left hand and brought it to his lips, drinking greedily. "Thanks."_

_Tasha decided not to tell him that she hadn't been able to find water. He didn't need to know how bad their situation was._

_"Some piloting lesson, huh?"_

_He grinned at her. "Maybe it's turned into a Survival Skills crash course instead." He fidgeted a little. "I suppose I ought to tell you I only got a B-minus in that class."_

_"It's okay. I got an A."_

_"Impressive. I've heard it's almost impossible."_

_"Well, let's just say I've had a lot of experience. Don't worry. This isn't the worst place I've ever been."_

"We had no way to contact Starfleet, and no idea when they'd figure out we were missing. Tom was in serious trouble, much as we both tried to deny it. The bleeding was dehydrating him, and he needed water almost constantly. As it was, I had to ration it. I couldn't justify taking more than the bare minimum for myself."

_Tasha tore open the water packet and took a small sip. It took every bit of willpower in her not to gulp the whole thing down. It had become progressively hotter over the last few days, and she was sweating constantly. But Tom was hurt badly, and he needed it far more than she did._

_"Here. Water."_

_Tom was too weak to hold the packet steady, so Tasha put it to his lips for him. He gulped it down._

_"How're you doing?"_

_He tried to smile, but it was clear he was in unbearable pain. "Tired."_

_She managed a tiny smile back. "Don't try to hide things from me. I'm an expert at the art of hiding the truth without lying."_

_"Okay, the truth is I hurt like hell. But I really am tired. And it hurts a lot trying to sleep on the floor."_

_"Come here." She gently pulled him to her so he could rest in her lap. "Better?"_

_"Yeah." His eyes were already slipping shut._

_"Sweet dreams."_

_But long after Tom was asleep, Tasha remained awake and worried. She knew her friend was dying. If he didn't get medical help soon, it would be too late. She'd never felt so helpless in her whole life. A tear slipped down her face despite her best efforts. Absentmindedly, she stroked his hair. This cadet whose name she hadn't been able to remember ten days ago had become her best friend._

"It wasn't until the twelfth day that they figured out where we were. They hadn't expected to find us on an uninhabited planet."

_Bang. Bang._

_Tasha jerked awake. Tom stirred sleepily in her arms, where he'd been sleeping for the last few days._

_Bang._

_"Hello?"_

_"Did you hear something?" Tom weakly lifted his head._

_"I'll go check it out." She carefully laid him on the floor. "Who's there?"_

_"Starfleet. Open the hatch."_

_Tasha pulled the manual override lever and shoved the hatch open._

_"Cadet Yar?"_

_She nodded, speechless with relief._

_"Is Cadet Paris with you?"_

_She managed to force her voice to work. "He's badly hurt. You have to help him."_

_"We will," the officer promised. "But you don't look well either. Come out here. We'll take care of Paris."_

_Tasha crawled through the hatch. "I'm fine. I wasn't hurt."_

_"You may not have been hurt, but I'll be the final judge of whether or not you're fine." A woman in a blue uniform scanned her with a medical tricorder. "As I thought, you're running a high fever and you're very dehydrated."_

_"Is that why it feels so hot out here?"_

_"Probably. Come with me."_

_Tasha was aware of being led to a stretcher, felt pressure against her neck, heard the hiss of a hypospray, and then everything went dark._

"I woke up two days later in the Academy infirmary. I was out of commission for a week."

"Wow." Wesley's eyes were wide. "We were only trapped for a couple of days. I couldn't imagine getting stuck like that for almost two weeks." He yawned hugely.

"I think it's time you went to bed."

"Yeah, probably. G'night."

She smiled. "Goodnight, Wesley."

xxxxxxxxx

"I remember someone once explaining to me the concept of a match made in heaven. I thought they were crazy. I knew a relationship took work, and I couldn't imagine that two people would just - click in the way he described.. Since then, I've realized I was wrong. If my own experiences weren't enough, this couple would be solid proof. Not only was their match made in heaven, but I think heaven put some extra effort into it."

She glanced around the room at everyone: at Picard, who was smiling more than she'd ever seen, at Geordi, who'd just finished his own speech, at Will, Deanna, and Beverly, all gathered around eagerly, at Worf, keeping an aloof distance, and at Data, who had confided in her that Beverly had taught him to dance and promised to save the first dance for her.

"Miles and Keiko, I wish you nothing but the best in the years to come." She lifted her glass. "To the bride and groom, and to new beginnings."

**I know, I'm practically throwing every random **_**Star Trek**_** character I can into this story, but when I realized Tom was probably about the right age to have been in Tasha's academy class, I couldn't resist.**

**Check out my spin-off story "Perfectly Logical," which deals with Tasha's relationship with Tuvok as mentioned a couple of chapters back. I will probably also cover this chapter's flashback in more depth in that story. Also for any Voyager fans, check out my Voyager oneshot "Rewind the Years."**

**Please review.**


	19. Chapter Nineteen: Friends

**Big Doors**

**Disclaimer: **If you recognize it, it's not mine. This is an AU story.

_**Chapter Nineteen: Friends**_

"Yes! Come in!" Tasha resisted the urge to throw the data PADD at the door.

"I'm sorry, is this a bad time? I need to file a security report."

Tasha softened slightly at the sight of the blond Junior Lieutenant, whom she recognized as one of the officers who'd transferred aboard earlier in the month.

"No, come in. I'm sorry, I'm just having a trying day."

"Can I help?"

"I don't think so, but thanks for offering, Lieutenant - ah - Lieutenant -"

"Jenna D'Sora, sir."

"Lieutenant D'Sora. Sorry, I'm still trying to remember the names of everyone who just came onboard."

"I understand. I'm horrible with names." She giggled. "I forgot my date's name once."

"Did you really?"

"It was our first and last date."

"Then he had no sense of humor." She grinned. "I forgot the name of my piloting tutor at the Academy. He just laughed it off."

"Maybe he didn't. I didn't know him that well. It doesn't really matter anyway. It's not like I haven't had other dates. My boyfriend and I even managed to get posted here together. I love working on the same ship as him - you understand?"

"You're not the only one with a boyfriend on this ship, you know."

"What department is he in?"

"Operations. I'm sure you've seen Data around."

"_Data_?You're dating an android?"

"Yes, and?"

"Well, I mean, he has no emotions!"

"Doesn't he? Maybe not in the way you or I do, but he feels. I don't know how to explain it, it's just the way it is."

Jenna seemed to consider that. "I suppose you'd know better than I would. "You know, I should probably get back to work."

"I suppose you should. And Jenna?"

"Yes?"

"Thanks. I needed a distraction."

xxxxxxxxx

Will Riker looked ready to tear out his hair, and Tasha didn't blame him. What had happened that day was, in her mind, inexcusable. A young medical assistant, frightened, had lied about being part-Romulan. It had been a mistake, but an understandable one. And now he was being branded a traitor.

"I mean, prejudice about Romulans is probably why he lied in the first place!" Will sighed. "And to top it off, this all sounds familiar. Too familiar."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I think something like this has happened before. It's a distant memory, just something I might've heard in a history class. I can't remember it well enough to give the computer any specifics. It's so frustrating - I know there's a precedent somewhere but I can't figure out what it is."

"Wait, you said a history class. Earth history?"

"Yeah, I think so. What difference does it make?"

"I think it makes all the difference. Computer, call up service record of Thomas Paris, current duty status active, Starfleet Academy class of 2359."

"Working. One result. Lieutenant Thomas Paris. Serial number -"

"Current assignment?"

"Chief helmsman, USS _Exeter_."

"Computer, send a transmission over a secure channel to Lieutenant Paris. Authorization Yar Theta Nine-Two-Five."

"Working."

"Tasha, what are you doing?"

"Link established."

The face of a blue-eyed, sandy-haired lieutenant appeared on the screen. "Hello?"

"Tom, it's me."

He recognized her and grinned. "Long time no see. And since you're calling me on a secure channel, I assume you're not just saying hello."

"I need your help."

"What can I do for you?"

"We've got a situation on our hands. We think there may be some sort of historical precedent, but we can't figure out what or even how to give the computer specific instructions to find it. You had a thing for history."

"Fire away."

"It all started a couple of days ago, when we suffered a minor accident in engineering. At the same time, we discovered that someone had been passing information to the Romulans, including schematics for the area where the accident occurred. It turns out that the culprit was a Klingon named J'Dan, an exchange officer. He's confessed to passing information, but not to causing the explosion. Further investigations have revealed that our accident was indeed an accident."

"But?"

"But Admiral Satie, who's been running the investigation, is convinced that there's a conspiracy on board. She's already attacked a medical technician who her Betazoid adviser suspected of hiding something. Turns out he was hiding something - he's part-Romulan - but he had nothing to do with any conspiracy. Now she's broadening her scan radius, so to speak, attacking anyone with any possible connection to all this."

Tom whistled under his breath. "Sounds like you've got a full-blown McCarthy wannabe on your hands."

This didn't have the result Tom was apparently expecting. Will and Tasha glanced at each other, then, as one, said, "A what?"

"Didn't you pay any attention in Earth History? Nineteen-forty-seven, Senator Joseph McCarthy and a couple of other nutjobs became convinced that there was a Communist conspiracy against the United States. They went around branding random people as Communists, getting them slandered, fired, and sometimes even arrested. People started to accuse others just to save their own necks. It really got out of hand before people realized what was going on and put a stop to it."

"Tom, listen." Tasha leaned forward intently. "I need every bit of relevant information you can find me. Focus especially on findings of wrongdoing on the part of the McCarthy supporters. This is important."

"I understand. I'll get you the information in two hours."

"Thanks, Tom. I owe you one."

"Uh-uh." He shook his head. "I still owe you for what you did after the shuttle accident. Consider this a tiny repayment in that direction."

"If you say so."

"Check in with me in two hours exactly."

"And Tom?"

"Yeah?"

"We never had this conversation."

"Right."

xxxxxxxxx

"Jackpot." Will scanned the PADD. "This is exactly what I need."

"Glad to be of help." Tasha half-smiled.

"Who is that guy anyway?"

"We were friends at the Academy."

"Friends?"

"Yes, Will, friends. I swear you have a one-track mind sometimes."

"Sorry." He grinned.

The door slid open and one of Satie's aides stepped in. "Lieutenant Commander Yar?"

"That's me."

"You will report for public questioning at oh-nine-hundred hours."

Her eyes narrowed. "I demand legal counsel."

"And it will be provided."

"I will defend the Commander."

"Commander Riker, I am afraid that will not be possible. You have been associating with Commander Yar behind closed doors. If she is found guilty, you will be required to submit to questioning as well. Lieutenant Commander Data will defend."

xxxxxxxxx

"Commander, what was your relationship with J'Dan?"

"We had no relationship. He didn't work in my department. We never spoke until I had to bring him in for questioning."

"Commander, at twenty-two hundred hours yesterday a secure transmission was sent with your signature to an unknown source. Did you send this transmission?"

"Yes."

"For what purpose?"

"I wanted information on an historical event."

"Information not available in the computer records?"

"I was not able to provide specific enough details for the computer to find information. There is no rule against contacting people for information instead of relying on the computer. No illegal information was passed between the two of us."

"Who is your contact?"

"I decline to answer that question."

"On what grounds?"

"On the grounds that I do not wish to implicate him in anything I might be accused of."

"If you had nothing to hide, you wouldn't have anything to fear, and neither would he."

"Objection." Data's voice cut through the courtroom. "That is not a question."

Satie sputtered a little, but she couldn't argue with Data. "Very well. Objection sustained."

"Let me rephrase. Why are you protecting your contact if, as you claim, everything you did was legal?"

"Because this whole thing is insane. Anyone who does anything but bow down and submit to this mockery of justice is the next to be prosecuted. I refuse to subject my contact to these attacks."

Satie was livid. "Commander! This has gone far enough!"

"You're damn right it has! This trial is a thing out of a past we'd all like to forget! What makes this different than the McCarthy trials of the twentieth century that we all called an abomination?" She took a deep breath, forcing herself to calm down. "When I was a cadet, I heard a saying I'll never forget. 'With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably.'"

Satie looked livid, and Tasha knew why. She had just quoted the Admiral's father at her.

"How dare you! You who consort with Romulans invoke my father's name to support your traitorous arguments. It is an offense to everything I hold dear. And to hear those words used to subvert the United Federation of Planets. My father was a great man. His name stands for integrity and principle. You dirty his words when you speak them. He loved the Federation, but you, Commander, corrupt it. You undermine our very way of life. I will expose you for what you are. I won't stop until I've brought you down!"

Everyone in the courtroom gasped. Admiral Henry stood and silently walked out. Even Data looked slightly taken aback.

"I have nothing more to say." Satie realized too late that she'd gone too far.

xxxxxxxxx

"So it's all over?"

"Yes, it is. Admiral Henry's called a stop to the hearings and Satie's left the _Enterprise_." Picard sighed. "I'm only sorry you were caught in the middle of all this."

"I knew what I was doing when I sent that transmission. We needed the information."

"We?"

Tasha cringed when she realized she'd let something slip. "I was trying to help Will put together a defense."

"If you don't mind my asking, who exactly did you contact? And what did you ask?"

"Will thought he remembered some sort of historical precedent for this, but neither of us could come up with specific enough information to feed the computer. As it happens, I have a friend from Starfleet Academy who has a thing for Earth history. So I called him on subspace and got his help. It turns out Will was right. Our precedent was the McCarthy trials - it was no coincidence I mentioned them in the courtroom."

"And then you refused to give his name-"

"Because I didn't want to see Satie go after him next. Although it might have been interesting to watch. I wonder how long she'd have gotten away with targeting an admiral's son."

Tasha could have sworn she saw a smile playing at Picard's lips. "An admiral's son? Yes, I could see that becoming - interesting."

xxxxxxxxx

"Jenna ? Is something the matter?"

"Jeff and I broke up."

"What? Why?"

"He never had time for me. Sometimes he acted like I didn't even exist. God, I wish I had what you and Data have."

"What do you mean?"

"He dotes on you. You're the center of the world as far as he's concerned. I want someone who'll care about me like that."

"You will. Don't worry."

"You mean that?"

"I used to think I'd never find someone either. My first year of the Academy I slapped my date to the Sadie Hawkins."

"You did?"

"He got a little too close, if you know what I mean."

"I know what you mean. Some men just want one thing. He wouldn't let up, huh?"

"I don't know. As soon as he got too close, I just hit him. I was a little defensive around guys then."

Jenna laughed. "You seem to have gotten over that."

"It took awhile. It also took some - interesting circumstances to get us together."

"Oh?"

"It all started with a mission we went on about a month or two after launch..."

xxxxxxxxx

"Mrs. Troi? Could I have a word?"

"I suppose you're going to tell me to give up and let Timicin kill himself?"

"Not if he doesn't want to. I think what you're doing is admirable. The odds are stacked against you, and yet you're determined to keep fighting."

"Don't try to flatter me into linking you. I still can't stand what you've done to Deanna."

"I haven't done anything to Deanna!"

"You've corrupted her!"

"I've done no such thing. And in the future, it's considered polite to at least accept a compliment before you start complaining."

xxxxxxxxx

"I can't believe it, I can't believe it." Geordi was sobbing, curled up on a biobed. The heartwrenching sight was the first thing Tasha saw when she stepped into Sickbay.

"Geordi?"

"Tasha?" He instinctively turned his head towards her, despite the fact that he was at the moment completely blind; his VISOR had been taken to be repaired. "Where are you?"

Tasha could almost feel her heart break. Her friend seemed for all the world like a frightened child, looking for something to hold on to. She slid her hand into his. "Here. I'm here."

"How could I have -" he couldn't even finish the sentence.

"You weren't yourself. You were brainwashed." She kept her voice steady, and part of her was grateful that Geordi couldn't see the tears in her eyes.

"I don't remember any of it - but I almost killed someone."

"But you didn't."

"But I would have. If you and the Captain hadn't stopped me, his blood would be on my hands." Geordi started to cry harder, and Tasha pulled him against her, guiding his head to rest in the hollow of her shoulder. "If I wasn't what I was, none of this would've happened."

"Shh, it wasn't your fault." She was choked with tears as she held her dear friend against her. "I wouldn't want you any way but the way you are."

Geordi was crying too hard to respond, and it seemed to rip through Tasha as well. She knew Geordi in his right mind would never have done the things he had under Romulan influence, and she knew it was tearing the gentle man apart.

"I'm here for you," she whispered. It was all she could say.

**This should've been up sooner but all the insanity out here in Wisconsin for the past week delayed my finishing it. (If you don't know what's been going on, you're either from out of the country or you've been paying no attention to the news.)**

**The episodes covered in this chapter are "In Theory" (sort of), "The Drumhead", "Half a Life" (I wanted to make sure we didn't drop the Lwaxana storyline), and "The Mind's Eye" (I didn't like the way they dealt with Geordi's reaction in the series so I gave him a meltdown scene).**

**Please review. I recieved very few reviews for the last chapter, which is unusual for you guys.**


	20. Chapter Twenty: Distorted Mirror

**Big Doors**

**Disclaimer: **If you recognize it, it's not mine. This is an AU story.

_**Chapter Twenty: Distorted Mirror**_

"Admiral Castillo. I'm grateful for your assistance on this matter."

"Think nothing of it. I'm just paying back what you gave me."

"Pardon?"

Castillo sighed. "Sorry, I keep forgetting you don't know."

"Know what?"

"Well, this is going to take some explaining. Is there somewhere we can talk in private?"

"My ready room."

They stepped off the turbolift to the typical call of "Admiral on the bridge!" Everyone jumped to their feet, but Castillo ignored them. His eyes were focused on the woman standing behind the tactical console.

"Oh, God," Castillo whispered. "Oh, my God."

"Admiral?"

Castillo finally noticed that everyone on the bridge was staring at him. "I'll explain in your ready room, Captain. Commander Yar, would you join us, please?"

She glanced at Picard, who nodded, though he appeared as confused as she was, not least because he had never mentioned her name. The Admiral began his explanation as soon as they were all seated.

"You know more or less what happened on Narendra III, but there's a small part of the story I haven't told anyone, even Starfleet. A few minutes before the end of the battle, the _Enterprise_ - our _Enterprise_ - encountered a temporal anomaly that threw us twenty-two years into the future - or rather, a version of the future. It was nothing like it is now. The Federation was at war with the Klingons, all because Narendra III hadn't played out like it was supposed to - like it did. There was one woman, I think she was a bartender, who realized that the timeline was wrong."

"Guinan," Picard put in.

"Yes, that was her name. She wasn't exactly sure what was wrong, but she was able to pinpoint a few specific things. One of those revolved around the Lieutenant in charge of Security." He glanced over at Tasha. "You, Commander. She said - bear with me for a second, I know this sounds strange - she said that you - or rather, your counterpart - weren't supposed to be on the ship at all, that you were supposed to be dead, killed for no reason at all. Captain Garret was killed by Klingons, and I had to take the ship back through the time distortion. The Tasha of that timeline joined my crew. She said she wanted her death to mean something this time around. So we returned to Narendra, and both Tasha and I were among the officers taken prisoner by the Romulans."

"Wait, back up a second." Tasha didn't mean to interrupt the Admiral, but she couldn't keep her questions silent any longer. "Are you saying that in the future, I'm going to die a senseless death, and then I'll be thrown into some alternate reality where I'm still alive and then I'll go back in time and get taken prisoner by the Romulans?"

"Not exactly. The date of our arrival was Stardate 43625.2."

"But that was almost two years ago." Picard pointed out the obvious.

"Exactly."

"You're saying I should already be dead."

"I don't know what I'm saying. Maybe there was some other kind of temporal flux going on. Tasha - Commander," he quickly corrected himself, "I have to ask. Did you ever come close to dying in some sort of pointless accident?"

"Yes." Tasha's eyes widened with realization. "About three years ago, on Vagra II, I was attacked by a - creature - who fired an energy beam at me when I tried to walk past him. I was saved by the quick actions of another officer. Are you saying I was supposed to die there?"

"I don't know what I'm saying. But Tasha Yar's presence onboard our ship saved the lives of every survivor. We were all scheduled to be executed, but a Romulan general took a liking to her and offered to let us go if she'd stay with him. She made that sacrifice for us. Five years later, we attempted a rescue. For some reason, she was unable to reach the rendezvous. She was caught by the Romulans and executed. I'm sorry, Commander," he added.

The words reached Tasha through a fog. She sat rigid in her chair, trying to make sense of what she'd just heard. She dimly heard Picard say something calling someone over the comm system. The door hissed open.

"Is there a problem, Captain?"

That voice cut through even Tasha's haze.

"Commander Yar has recieved some - distressing news. Please remain with her until she is prepared to return to duty. Admiral?"

The door hissed again, and Tasha was vaguely aware of the Admiral and the Captain exiting, but she didn't care. She wanted to be with the person who hadn't left, the one whose presence meant safety.

"Are you all right?"

"Yes. No. I don't know." She was vaguely aware that she was shaking. "Hold me. Please."

Pale hands grasped her shoulders, and she was pulled into a strong, steady pair of arms. "What is happening?"

"I'm not supposed to be here."

"I do not comprehend. To my knowledge, you have not been reassigned or otherwise removed from the _Enterprise_."

"I died on Romulus. I was supposed to die on Vagra II. What am I doing here?"

"I still do not comprehend. To my knowledge, you have never been on Romulus, and I vividly recall saving you on Vagra II."

"I don't understand either. But it's true."

"Perhaps you should relax." Data helped her lean back on the couch and kissed her forehead, a gesture he had found often helped her calm down. "You cannot alter the past. I believe that, whatever happened in an alternate universe, the fact that you are here proves that, in some way, you were meant to be here."

The next thing the android knew, she was kissing him. "You know, for someone who claims to have no emotions, you say the sweetest things sometimes."

"Am I to assume that you are feeling better?"

"A bit." She smiled and sat up. "Thanks, Data."

xxxxxxxxx

Tasha hadn't thought it could get any worse than finding out she'd died in an alternate timeline. That was, of course, before she'd been contacted by Picard, who'd informed her that he was patching a transmission through to the _Tian An Men_'s ready room and warned her to be prepared for a shock. Before she'd seen Sela.

There had been no doubt in her mind who this woman was. The missing piece of the puzzle, as it were. Sela had only confirmed what Tasha already knew; she had been the reason the other Tasha Yar had failed to reach the rendezvous. At four years old, the Romulan Commander had betrayed her mother to death.

At least Sela seemed almost as shaken as Tasha was. It was clear she hadn't expected to run into Tasha ever again, much less across a battle line. Tasha, for her part, had kept her composure for as long as the transmission had lasted. As soon as it was over, she'd darted into the nearest bathroom to throw up. She wished that Data were there now as he had been when Castillo had spoken with her.

It didn't take her long, however, to compose herself and return to the bridge. If the crew noticed that their Acting Captain was behaving strangely after receiving a transmission to which they had not been privy, they said nothing.

xxxxxxxxx

"Query. Are you all right?"

"I don't know," she admitted, burying her face in her hands. "That woman - she was me, and she wasn't. Everything that happened to her happened to me and yet it didn't. And to top it all off, it's possible I was supposed to die on Vagra."

"And if you had, what would have happened to Lal? I would never have thought to call for Q."

"I-"

"And me? I likely would have remained on Fajo's ship for eternity."

"I don't know. I don't know!" Tasha wasn't even aware, but she had begun to rock back and forth, hands pressed to her face as if to ward off the world.

"I am sorry, I did not intend to upset you."

"I don't know what to think anymore. I don't know who I am anymore."

"I do not understand. Are you not the same person you were yesterday?"

"Yes. And no. I have a whole part of my history I can't remember."

"Perhaps it would be simpler if you did not think of the Admiral's Tasha Yar as yourself."

"I don't follow you. She is me. Was me."

"Was she?"

"Of course she was."

"Allow me to put forth a question. If you were cloned, would you consider that clone to be you?"

"It wouldn't be me, just a replica of me."

"But she would share the same physical qualities as yourself."

"It takes more than physical qualities to make a person. You of all people should understand that."

"The Admiral said that the future he arrived in was radically different from our current reality, and had been for years. Therefore, the Tasha Yar he knew had likely had a different life from the one you have had. If, as you suggest, a person's experiences are the defining characteristic of his or her identity, then the Tasha Yar he knew is to you as a clone would be to you - physically identical, and yet very different."

"Hm. I didn't think of it that way. But what about Sela?"

"Sela's mother is dead and has been for seventeen years. Sela is not your child and you are not responsible for her."

"All the same, I-" she cut herself off.

"You what?"

"Computer, lock the door." Tasha began to remove her shirt.

"Tasha, what are you doing?"

"No matter how hard I try, I can't forget that by the time she was my age, the other Tasha Yar had been living with and suffering sexual abuse from the Romulan general. I need you to remind me that I'm not her. I need you to love me, Data. Please."

Even the emotionless android couldn't fail to be affected by her plea. He slipped out of his own clothing and joined her on the bed.

He was gentler with her than usual, slower. He clearly realized that she was hurting and needed extra tenderness. He began, in fact, to understand why this act was so often referred to as "making love." The heated, fiery passion was not present, but this meant that the love that normally ran underneath it was stronger than ever. He knew at that moment with complete certainty that if he could have loved, he would have loved her.

xxxxxxxxx

"Where are we going?"

"The holodeck!" If Tasha had been a child, she would have been dragging Data along by the hand.

"For what purpose?"

"To have fun, Data! The Captain gave me the day off to deal with everything that's happened, and you're not on duty until 1800."

"And how will we be 'having fun'?"

"You'll see." By now, they'd reached the door of the holodeck. "Computer, activate program Yar Seven."

"Program complete."

The two of them stepped through the doors to the sound of running water. Data could barely look around fast enough.

"What is it?"

"It's called a waterpark. Specifically, it's a recreation of a park called Noah's Ark that existed in Wisconsin in the twentieth and twenty-first centuries."

"I was not aware that you knew so much about ancient Earth history."

"I don't. I was brought here by a friend when I was in the Academy - he claimed he needed help tweaking it, but I think he just wanted us to have some fun. He gave me the program in case I wanted to run it at any point."

"So this is authentic?"

"Well, we tweaked a few things. There are no lines longer than five minutes, the cement won't get too hot to walk barefoot, we perfected the weather, there will always be lounge chairs available wherever we want them, and we got rid of the screaming children and the obnoxious people. But every single ride is authentic, or at least as authentic as we could get it with the information we had. But enough information. Replicate some swimwear and get changed. Oh, and Data?"

"Yes?"

"For God's sake, stay in water that you can stand in. I don't want a repeat of the Devala Lake incident."

**This chapter was unfortunately delayed because my keyboard jammed up (stupid dirt) and two of my keys weren't working.**

**I took the waterpark idea very loosely from Mistress Scribbles' story "Rollercoaster" - Noah's Ark is a real waterpark however. The Devala Lake incident was mentioned in the episode "Descent, Part II."**

**Please review. **


	21. Chapter TwentyOne: Personal Disaster

**Big Doors**

**Disclaimer: **If you recognize it, it's not mine. This is an AU story.

_**Chapter Twenty-One: Personal Disaster**_

Why did these things always have to happen at the most inopportune moments? Tasha grabbed the rungs of the ladder as tightly as she could. Couldn't whatever it was have waited until she was out of the Jefferies tube?

The ship shuddered violently, and only a tenacity learned from years on Turkana and reinforced by need and desperation allowed her to maintain her grip on the ladder, the only thing between her and falling down five decks. Even so, she was thrown forcefully against the rungs and she gasped in pain. _Probably a broken rib_. As soon as the ship was steady, she ran for the nearest hatch. She was almost there. Just a few more meters.

"All decks, brace for impact."

Tasha groaned inwardly, stopping and grabbing hold of the ladder again. But "impact" turned out to be a major understatement. Despite her best efforts, her grip was torn loose and she fell, down, down -

Her eyes fluttered open, though for a moment, she wasn't sure they had. It was pitch-black. She started to sit up, and immediately a sharp pain shot through her body. Unprepared, she was unable to suppress a scream. Not that it seemed to matter. No one heard.

"Yar to Sickbay." No response. "Yar to bridge." Still nothing. "Yar to anyone who can hear me. Please respond."

But the comm remained dead. She couldn't move, and she was trapped in a tiny, dark tube. She hated small spaces, had hated them ever since -

No. She wouldn't think about that. She couldn't. She tried to focus her thoughts on something else, anything else. What had happened to her?

She'd fallen from the ladder, fallen five decks to the bottom. No wonder she was hurting. She was probably lucky to be alive. Not that that was much comfort. They'd hit something, at least she hoped they'd hit something. If they'd been fired on and she wasn't there to help with their defenses -

No. She wouldn't go there either. She just hoped someone would find her. It wasn't safe here -

Yes. It was. She was on the _Enterprise_. She was fine. But she couldn't keep the memories at bay any longer.

_"Nice, quiet place. Small. No one will find us here." The man leered at her._

_"What are you doing with me?" The six-year-old's eyes were wide with fear._

_"You're a very pretty girl. How would you like enough money to feed yourself and your sister for a week?"_

_"I would like it very much." She was trying to remember the manners her mother had taught her._

_"Come here." The man began to slide off her shirt._

_"What are you doing?"_

_"Just be quiet, and when I'm done I'll give you the money."_

_His hand roamed her body, sliding her pants off. She tried to run, but she was trapped. She couldn't get herself out._

_She closed her eyes, praying for it to end. It hurt so much, and something inside her cried out that this was wrong, very wrong, but there was nothing she could do except to cry._

_When he was done, he pulled up his pants and dropped a handful of coins beside her, as though he'd done nothing out of the ordinary. It wasn't until years later that she would realize that for him, raping a six-year-old girl might very well have been normal. In that moment, all she could do was dress, collect the money, and hurry back to Ishara. She couldn't leave her sister alone too long._

"NO!" she screamed aloud. That was twenty-five years ago. No one on her ship would do something like that. She wasn't six. She could defend herself. But as much as her rational mind believed that, she couldn't help flashing back to that incident, and to another time, ten years later, she'd been trapped in a dark place.

_"No! No!" The sixteen-year-old fought desperately, but it was no use. Three so-called therapists held her fast._

_"There, there. You just need somewhere to cool down. You can come out when you're being reasonable."_

_They'd thrown her in a closet, ignoring her terrified pleading. She'd only screamed louder and longer when the doors closed, haunted by the memory of the first time she'd been raped. They'd left her in there for sixteen hours until she'd worn herself out._

"Please! Please!" Tasha screamed again, losing her fight against the memories. "Please!"

xxxxxxxxx

She didn't know how long she'd been lying there, gasping in agony, screaming and sobbing with terror, fading in and out of consciousness. She wanted out. It was the only coherent thought in the jumble.

A dim light spilled over her face. She winced as her eyes adjusted, but it was wonderful to be out of the dark.

"Hello? Is someone in here?"

"I'm here!" It hurt to shout but she didn't care. She needed to get out.

"Tasha?" The voice was definitely familiar. "Hang on." A moment later, someone else climbed into the tube with her.

"Oh, my god. You're really hurt." The already-familiar voice was easily recognizable now.

"Geordi?"

"Yeah, it's me."

"Help me get out, will you?" She managed to insert a wry tone into her pain-laced voice.

"I don't think that's a good idea. I want to wait until we can get you a painkiller-"

"No. _Now_." Her demanding tone softened. "Please, Geordi. I have to get out of here now - I'm scared." He was one of the few people in the universe who would ever hear her admit to that. "Please. I don't care if it hurts. Just get me out of here."

The hardest-hearted person in the world wouldn't have been unaffected by that plea, to say nothing of the gentle engineer. "All right."

He slipped his arms around her and lifted her as carefully as he could. She gasped in pain, biting her lip to keep herself from screaming.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "Just hang on. It'll be over soon. I promise."

The second they were out of the Jefferies tube, Tasha let out a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding and Geordi felt her relax in his arms. Whatever the issue was with that Jefferies tube, it must have been scaring the hell out of her. He cradled her to the floor and helped her lie down.

"Don't go to sleep." His voice was taut with concern. "You hear me?"

"What happened? What did we hit?"

"I'm not sure. The comm's down and we can't access the bridge - emergency bulkheads are closing all over the place. We're cut off from just about everything down here; Sickbay, Engineering, even Ten-Forward. We have no way of knowing what's happened, or what's happening now. We don't know where anyone is."

"How'd you find me?"

"A couple of us spread out with tricorders to scan for other survivors. It took awhile to find you though. We were scanning rooms, actually, but I heard something inside the tube and thought I'd check."

"I'm glad you did. How long was I in there?"

"You fell when we hit whatever it was?" She nodded minimally. "Almost three hours."

"It felt like three years."

"You're claustrophobic, aren't you?"

She looked up at him with wide, terrified eyes. "Only when I can't get out," she admitted.

"I heard you screaming through the bulkhead, that's how I found you. God, Tasha, what happened to you?"

"You don't want to know."

"Maybe not." He considered this. "How far did you fall?" He needed to keep her talking.

"About five decks."

His face showed his surprise, but he didn't say anything. Then it began to blur.

"Tasha, stay awake! You hear me? Stay awake!"

But her eyes wouldn't stay open. She tried desperately to fight against unconsciousness, but it was no use. Blissful oblivion enveloped her.

xxxxxxxxx

"What have you been doing, Jean-Luc?" Beverly was mildly annoyed at best. "Please don't tell me you tried to walk on this."

"Blame the children," he grumbled. "They wouldn't get out of the lift without me, and it wasn't safe for them to stay."

Before she could respond, the door hissed open and Geordi La Forge burst though, half-hysterical and carrying the unconscious Chief of Security.

"She won't wake up." He said before Beverly could ask. "Fell down a Jefferies tube."

Beverly all but shoved the bone-knitter off to Alyssa Ogawa before helping Geordi get Tasha settled on a biobed. "Concussion, cracked skull, five broken ribs, dislocated shoulder, ruptured spleen, internal bleeding. How far did she fall?"

"About five decks."

"I think she's lucky the injuries aren't worse. Her adrenaline level's elevated too. Any idea what caused it?"

Geordi's voice dropped several dozen decibels. "She was terrified out of her mind when I found her. She'd been stuck in that tube for three hours when I found her. Something happened in the past, she wouldn't say what, but it's made her horribly claustrophobic. She relaxed as soon as I got her out, almost fell asleep right then. I tried to keep her talking-" his voice stuck in his throat.

"It wasn't your fault. I'm surprised she was awake when you found her."

"What happened?"

"We hit a quantum filament," Picard explained. "It knocked out our engines and primary systems, so when another one came at us, we couldn't get out of the way. Is she all right, Doctor?"

"She needs surgery, but she should be fine. Now, everyone who doesn't need to be here, out!"

xxxxxxxxx

She didn't hurt. That was the first thing she registered when she woke.

"How are you feeling?" A soft, evenly-measured, very familiar voice.

"Okay. How long has it been?"

"Approximately one half-hour from the time when you lost consciousness until the time Geordi brought you into sickbay, and four hours, thirteen minutes, and eight point four seconds since then, measured up to the point where you finished the question."

Tasha grinned. "And how long have you been here?"

"One hour, forty-four minutes, and thirty-eight point six seconds. I sustained damage and required repair."

"That makes two of us."

"Judging by what Dr. Crusher told me, I believe your 'damage' was more severe than mine."

"Maybe. When do I get to leave?"

"You are required to stay overnight for observation."

"Are you on duty?"

"I am not."

"Then stay."

"I believe that would be possible."

"I wish these beds were wider," she mumbled.

"Do you wish me to be close to you?"

"Yes."

"I think we could find a way to make that so."

And it was thus that Beverly entered Sickbay in the morning to find Data sitting on the top of the biobed, Tasha's head cradled in his lap.

**Please review. This story is doing well for reviews but my recent chapter of "Perfectly Logical" has recieved very few. I know a lot of the readers of these stories cross over so I'm mentioning that.**


	22. Chapter TwentyTwo: Dangerous Games

**Big Doors**

**Disclaimer: **If you recognize it, it's not mine. This is an AU story.

_**Chapter Twenty-Two: Dangerous Games**_

"What's wrong with him?" Tasha demanded.

"I'm not sure. Don't worry, Tasha, we'll figure it out." Geordi laid a hand on her shoulder.

"This shouldn't happen!"

"Calm down, Tasha. Come here, try something."

"Not that stupid game again." Tasha rolled her eyes. "You're the fifth person today to offer it. What is it with all of you?"

"It's fun!"

"Yeah, well thanks, but I'd rather not." Tasha turned and stalked out.

xxxxxxxxx

She'd thought it was a harmless fad. Something they'd be crazy about for a week or two and then forget. Now she was starting to suspect something else was going on. This game seemed to be dominating everyone's life.

"We should keep these mock-ups with us."

Make that almost everyone. A small smile crossed Tasha's face.

"Wes," she hissed. "Wesley. Come here."

"Tasha? What is it?"

Tasha quickly looked around. "Not here. My quarters."

Wesley glanced back at the girl he was with. "I'm not sure..."

"Both of you, then. Come on."

The three of them hurried into Tasha's quarters. Tasha input a lock code as soon as they were in.

"That'll keep anyone from barging in on us."

"This isn't about the game, is it?" Wesley asked, trying to mask his concern. "We're already –"

"It is about the game, but not in the way you're worried about. As far as I know, you - both of you - are the only people on the ship besides me not affected by it. And it's starting to scare me."

"Robin and I ran an analysis on it with the sickbay computer. The game's addictive."

"That explains a lot."

"There's something else," Robin Lefler added. "It affects people's reasoning centers. And if the game works the way we think it does, there's only one person on the ship who's immune. He's coincidentally out of commission in Sickbay."

"Data," Tasha finished for her. "But you're not quite right, Ensign. If Data's immune, there's one other person who is too."

"Lal," Wesley surmised. "Where is she?"

"Off the ship," Tasha realized, "with all the kids. They went on an overnight, a field trip."

"That can't be coincidence."

"You're right." Tasha sighed. "The question is, what do we do now?"

"I think the first step is to try and reactivate Data. As long as he's here, there's one person who can't be affected."

"Get on it. And watch your back. I'll be here if you need me."

xxxxxxxxx

"Crusher to Commander Yar."

"What is it?"

"They've got Robin. They've forced her to use the game. I've fixed Data, but he's still trying to come up with a solution. Everyone on the ship is after me now."

"I'll try to take some heat off your tail." Tasha emerged from her quarters, only to be set upon by several officers.

"We knew you'd have to come out eventually."

"No!" Tasha fought hard, managing to take down two before they finally overwhelmed her. "No! Don't! You don't know what you're doing!"

The game set was forced over her head, her eyes held open. She fought the game with all of her strength, but it was no good. The game was designed to be impossible to lose.

Several disks went into the cones, and Tasha relaxed. It felt good, so good. Why had she been fighting? It didn't matter now.

The lights went down, but Tasha barely noticed. Then the display screens began to flicker, fast and bright. She squinted, then tore the console from her head as sense came back to her.

Around her, everyone was doing the same, rubbing their eyes and shaking their heads. Her comm beeped.

"Data to Commander Yar."

"Yar here. It's good to hear your voice again."

"You may emerge from hiding now. The effects of the game have been reversed."

"So I see. Good work, Data."

"Thank you."

xxxxxxxxx

"I still can't believe what we almost did. If I'd just used my head -"

"It wasn't your fault, Number One," Picard assured him. "I'm sure the whole thing was planned and you were targeted specifically. And we were all at fault really, excluding Commander Yar, Mr. Data, Ensign Lefler, and Cadet Crusher. We all should have known not to try something like that without knowing what it did."

"I'd say it was something like a virus." When everyone turned to Tasha, she continued, "Once it had made its way onto the ship, it would stop at nothing to infiltrate us. Once Will started playing the game, it made him start pushing it on others, who had no reason to suspect anything was wrong."

"But you knew better."

"I'm naturally suspicious, Will."

"And Wesley and Lefler?"

"Wesley wasn't on the ship when the game started going around, and it was really him who kept Robin out of it. I think it's time everyone stopped beating themselves up."

"Agreed. Any other business? No? Dismissed!"

xxxxxxxxx

"You wanted to see me, Captain?"

"I did. I wanted to discuss our mission with you."

"I thought you and Data were going. Has that changed?"

"I want you to come with us."

"Captain?"

"I need your tactical skills." He paused briefly. "And if we run into trouble, I might need your help on another matter."

"Captain?"

"As I'm sure you're aware, you bear a striking resemblance to an influential Romulan persona."

"Sela."

"If we run into trouble, it might become wise to have someone in our party to help us. And while prosthesis can make anyone look like anyone, the less we have to transform -"

"The less anyone can transform back. I understand, sir."

"Good."

xxxxxxxxx

Picard rolled over, trying unsuccessfully to sleep on the Klingons' idea of a bed. Of course, he thought wryly, his subordinates were having no such difficulty. He had tried to offer Tasha the bed, but she'd refused, insisting she'd be fine. He'd assumed she was just being polite. Now, seeing her fast asleep in Data's arms, he realized she'd just been honest.

He couldn't keep the smile off his face. Tasha had always been like a daughter to him, and his greatest concern about her had always been how closed-off and reluctant to trust she was. Her relationship with Data was an important exception. Picard hadn't realized just how much of an exception.

"Captain?"

"Hmm?" Picard's eyes fluttered open. He hadn't realized he'd fallen asleep.

"It is time to awaken, Captain."

"All right. Let's get ready."

"Romulanized."

"Data?"

"That was Tasha's turn of phrase. It is appropriate."

"Yes, Mr. Data. I suppose it is."

**I know this is an odd spot to cut it, but really nothing else I'm using in this story comes in until Unification II and I didn't like the jump that would be required to put all that in one chapter. There is some stuff with Tasha's interactions with Spock that I've been working on, but that really fits better into my other story, Perfectly Logical, than in this one and I didn't want to use the same scenes twice.**

**Sorry about the delay, but I was having trouble synching the pieces in this chapter up. Also I posted a cliffhanger on my other story and had to post the next chapter before my readers killed me. Most of the people reading this note are reading that story too, so you understand.**

**Please Review. If it's signed, I will respond. Thanks to**** Trindeanfan for being #100! But on the same note, I got a very offensive and upsetting anonymous review. I've deleted it and I'm leaving the anonymous review option open for now, but if whoever left it is reading this, please show a little respect. You might not have realized it, but that review touched a very sensitive nerve and I don't know why you would say something like that.  
**


	23. Chapter TwentyThree: Mother and Daughter

**Big Doors**

**Disclaimer: **If you recognize it, it's not mine. This is an AU story.

_**Chapter Twenty-Three: Mother and Daughter**_

Tasha reentered the Reunificationists' hideout. She had, as Picard put it, "removed her ears," but opted to remain out of uniform to avoid appearing conspicuous. No one was in the entryway except the Romulan proconsul.

Pardek glanced up at her, and his eyes widened in the dim light. "Commander. Everything's going according to plan."

Tasha's first instinct was to ask the Romulan what he was talking about. But she quickly realized that would be a bad idea. If she played along, she might figure out what he was up to. And she had a pretty good idea of who he thought she was.

"Very good," she said briskly, careful to keep in the shadows lest he see her too closely. "Now tell me. Where is Ambassador Spock?"

"Right through there. And the Starfleet captain's with him, and his android pet. But there's another officer, and she's still not here yet. You're not going in there? That wasn't the plan."

"The plan has changed." Tasha strode haughtily through the door, dropping the pretense as soon as she was out of Pardek's sight. "Captain, Ambassador. We have a problem."

"A problem, Commander?"

"A big problem, Ambassador. I don't think Pardek can be trusted. You see, I just had a rather interesting conversation with him." She quickly filled them in on the details.

"Why would he say that to you?" Spock wondered aloud. "You are the third Starfleet officer of whom he spoke."

But Picard, armed with information, was a step ahead of the Vulcan. "You believe Pardek mistook you for Sela."

"Exactly, Captain."

"Who is Sela?" Spock, unused to being left out of the loop, was as nonplussed as a Vulcan ever was.

"A Romulan commander," Data explained, "and not one likely to join our movement."

"You said Pardek said you weren't supposed to be here yet," Picard continued, as if Spock and Data had not spoken. "That means that at some point, she is supposed to be here."

"And that means we're not safe," Tasha finished.

The four of them quickly exited the room. The first thing they heard was Pardek's voice. "But - but you were just here, five minutes ago, and you went through that door!"

And then a haughty voice, sharp. "You idiot. I've never been here before now."

They were too late.

xxxxxxxxx

"The great Spock," Sela purred. "Very well. Senator Pardek, your service to the Romulan people is noted and appreciated."

"Jolan tru, Spock," Pardek said sadly, and Data's eyes flicked to Sela, wondering how she would react to Pardek's clear regret. But Sela was no longer paying attention to Spock or the Romulans. Her attention was focused on Tasha.

"So. You're here with them."

"And what if I am?"

Sela's face twisted into a sneer. "You looking to fulfill your destiny? You already died here once, I'd have thought you'd stay as far away as possible."

There were a dozen things Tasha could have said in that moment. For a moment, she nearly repeated what Data had said to her, that she wasn't the same Tasha Yar who had borne Sela. But something, deep inside, stopped her. Instead, all she said was, "I choose my own destiny. I will not die here."

"I wouldn't be so sure. You've been caught conspiring with terrorists, all of you. We have no intention of letting you leave Romulus alive."

"Who said anything about your intentions?"

"Commander." Picard said nothing else, but the subtext was clear: _Stand down_.

Sela turned her attention back to Spock, who was not following the conversation at all. "Do not be distressed. Your dream of reunification is not dead. It will simply take a different form. The Romulan conquest of Vulcan. Bring them."

xxxxxxxxx

Sela deactivated the hologram with a smirk. "If you'll excuse me, it's time to send our ships on their journey."

"Sela!" Tasha called out. The Romulan turned.

"What now?"

"Why are you doing this?"

"Why do you care?"

Tasha stood face-to-face with the Romulan. "Because the same blood runs through our veins, and I can't deny that connection. Because, for some reason I can't explain, I care about you."

For a brief second, Tasha thought she saw something flicker in Sela's eyes. Then she scoffed. "A nice speech, but it won't change your fate." She stalked off.

"Suggestions?" Picard asked.

Spock glanced over at the android. "Commander Data, are they still unaware we have access to their computers?"

"Yes, Ambassador."

"Then I believe I can create a diversion."

xxxxxxxxx

"Commander, may I make an inquiry?"

"You want to know what my relationship is with Sela."

"You are very perceptive."

"It's fairly obvious, and I don't blame you for being confused. I'm not sure I fully understand. Somehow, I was - duplicated. There are literally two of me, or there were. One version of me went twenty-two years back in time and became the consort to a Romulan general, giving herself up to save her comrade. That woman gave birth to Sela, who later betrayed her mother to death."

"I am sorry."

"Thank you."

"But I do not understand. You refer to Sela's mother as a separate individual, and yet your dialogue with her suggests that you think of her as your child."

"I'm not asking you to understand. I don't fully understand. But I can't separate my feelings for her in that way, no matter what I try to do."

"Emotions are illogical." His face softened slightly. "But sometimes, they are necessary."

xxxxxxxxx

Data glanced over at Tasha, who was sitting silently next to him. "We have accomplished our mission. Why do you appear so upset?"

Tasha turned to meet his eyes, and Data suddenly remembered being told that a person's eyes were a window into the soul. It was certainly true now. He could see in her eyes an agony he could never understand.

"It's a common theme in stories, Data," she said quietly, "the parent and child on opposite sides of a war. But I always thought of them as just stories. I never realized how real it could be, or how much it could hurt."

"You are speaking of Sela. She is not -"

"I know, Data, you think I don't? It's not that simple. No matter what my mind is telling me, no matter what's rational or sensible, I can't just get rid of these feelings! I can't forget that the same blood flows through our veins. Maybe it's my maternal instinct." She bit her lip hard. "There's another divergence in the timeline between me and her, Data, something I've never told you. " She glanced around, making sure no one could hear. "When I was eighteen, I found out I can't have children. When I saw Sela, realized who she was - Sela's mother might have been betrayed by her own child, but at least she _had_ a child. She had something I never could."

"That is not true."

Tasha stared at him silently.

"You have a child, Tasha, and one who would never betray you. _We_ have a child."

She smiled slightly as Data reminded her of the fact she'd forgotten. "Yes, I suppose we do."

xxxxxxxxx

"Mother," the young android asked curiously, "why are you looking at me like that?"

"Like what?"

"Ever since you returned , you haven't stopped staring at me."

Tasha gave a small sigh. "Sit down."

Lal immediately dropped into a chair. Tasha sat down next to her.

"Well, it's a little hard to explain. In a way, I suppose you could say you have a sister."

"I do?"

"Or maybe a cousin. I'm not sure." Tasha had never told Lal about Sela. She'd never seen a reason to. But now she let the story tumble out, though she omitted the part about her own infertility. And Lal just listened silently, dark eyes growing ever wider.

"I would never-"

"I know. That's why I keep staring at you. I wonder how I got so lucky."

Lal slid into her mother's lap and hugged her. "I love you."

Tasha held her child tightly. "I love you too, baby."

**I know I left out the climax of the episode, but the storyline I was following seemed to take precedence in this chapter over the original script, which would have played out much the same way it originally did. Sorry if anyone was disappointed.**

**I'm sorry to all you Lal fans for leaving her out for so long. To be honest, I'd kind of forgotten about her role in the story. I've already planned her into important roles in several later chapters, don't worry!  
**

**The idea that Tasha is unable to have children will make a reappearance later, at which point the cause will be explained. The only clue I'll give now is that I've hinted vaguely at it before, way back in Chapter Nine. Hey, I said s****everal seemingly small details from that chapter would be making a reappearance in later chapters.**

**Please Review. I only got two review for the last chapter. Since I put it up right before the system started screwing up, I'm assuming for now that's the cause, but I hope this one does better.  
**


	24. Chapter TwentyFour: One Child So Alone

**Big Doors**

**Disclaimer: **If you recognize it, it's not mine. This is an AU story.

_**Chapter Twenty-Four: One Child So Alone**_

"Hello, Alexander. I'm Tasha."

The boy didn't respond. Tasha suspected he didn't really remember her.

"Is something the matter?"

"Why do you care?"

"I want to be your friend, Alexander. I understand that you're scared and lonely. But I can't help you if you don't talk to me. It's your father, isn't it?"

"Uh-huh." He finally looked her in the eye. "I think there's something wrong with me."

"How can you say that?"

"I don't know why I do all those things. I don't know why I steal, I just _do_. It's like I'm not even thinking about it. And then I lie because I feel bad."

"You still miss your mother, don't you?"

"Yes. What does that have to do with anything?"

"Everything. I think you have an - an empty space inside from where your mother was taken from you, and you're trying to fill it by taking things from others."

"How do you know so much?"

"Alexander, when I was five, both of my parents died."

"Did you steal things too?"

"There was nothing to steal. I didn't really live in a good place like you do. But I do remember feeling empty."

"I just -"

"You just what?"

"I want him to love me."

Tasha gently hugged the boy. "He does."

"How do you know?"

A thousand answers raced through Tasha's mind. Finally, she settled on one she thought he could understand. "If he didn't love you, he wouldn't care. It wouldn't matter to him if you were stealing or lying. Oh, he might be a little upset, as a security officer and all, but not the way he is now. Does that make sense?"

"Yes."

"Good." She hugged him again. "Now, do you have homework from school?"

'Yes."

"Would you like some help?"

"Do you mind?"

"Not at all."

xxxxxxxxx

"Worf, we need to talk."

"I am sorry if I have been neglecting my duties."

"It depends what you mean by that. You've performed your duties to me and this ship as well as ever."

"Then what is the problem?"

"Your duties to your son."

"I don't believe that discussion is within your prerogative as my commanding officer."

"You're right. That's why I'm not speaking as your commanding officer. I'm speaking as your friend, and Alexander's."

"You've spoken to him?"

"He's upset, Worf. He thinks you don't care about him."

"That is not true. I care very much for him."

"Why don't you tell him that?"

"It is not necessary."

"Worf!" She drew a deep breath, trying not to fly off the handle. "You know what he's going through. So do I. You know what it's like to lose a parent."

"Yes. I do."

"Then you know what he needs. Give it to him."

"He should know without needing to be told."

"He doesn't, Worf. And if you don't tell him, it'll only hurt him in the long run."

"What are you talking about?"

"My best friend in the Academy was the son of an admiral, the latest in a long tradition of Starfleet in the family. As a result, the man pushed his son to do everything better, and never told him he was proud of him or that he cared about him. I'm sure the Admiral thought he was doing what was best for his son, but he destroyed my friend's self-esteem, made him feel like nothing he did was ever good enough. I don't want to see the same thing happen to Alexander."

"Nor do I."

"Then talk to him, Worf. And I don't mean scold him, I mean _talk _to him. Let him talk to you about how he feels. Talk to him about your own feelings."

Worf hesitated.

"Take the first step. Come on, Worf. This could make all the difference."

"I will speak with him."

xxxxxxxxx

Worf sat in Sickbay, watching his son sleep. Tasha smiled to herself. The fire in the lab might not have been the most conventional bonding method, and they had come far, far too close to disaster, but seeing Worf finally admit his feelings for his son had almost been worth the danger. Almost.

Realizing she was watching him, Worf nodded towards another area of the sickbay, where they could talk without waking Alexander.

"Perhaps you were right," he said quietly.

Tasha smiled. "You just needed a fresh pair of eyes."

"In the future, I will welcome any assistance you can provide."

"You'll have it."

xxxxxxxxx

Alexander shrieked with laughter as he splashed in the water. "This place is great! What happened to the real one?"

"Just about everything like this was destroyed or closed down during World War III. Fun wasn't exactly in people's books, and no one wanted to spend hours outdoors. And then there was a panic about water scarcity. It took tens of millions of gallons of water a day at least to keep this place running. No one would waste that on entertainment when it looked like it might mean the difference between life and death later."

"Wow. How do you know so much?"

"You can thank my friend Tom," she told him, silently recalling that she'd been concerned not so long ago that Alexander would end up like said friend. "This whole place was really his idea, too. I just helped him fine-tune it. Now, what do you want to do first?"

"Hey, what's that?" Alexander pointed to a weird-looking wave moving through the ship.

"I don't know. I didn't -"

At that minute, the wave passed over them. The woman blinked in confusion. "Where are we?"

"I'm not sure. Who are you?"

Her brow furrowed. "I don't know. Who are you?"

"I don't know either."

"This looks like some kind of a playground," she observed.

"Yeah. Oh, what does that one do?"

"Dark Voyage," she read. "I'm not sure." She grinned. "One way to find out."

Five minuted later, they emerged from the tunnel, breathless and laughing.

"I think I know who you are!" The boy laughed.

"Who am I?"

"You're my mother. Who else could you be?"

xxxxxxxxx

"Hey, look at that man," the boy said, pointing. "He's not dressed like us."

"Don't point, it's rude." But she too had noticed.

"Computer," the strange man ordered, "end program."

All at once, the people around them vanished. So did the park. The woman, the boy, and the strange man were the only people left.

"What's going on?" she demanded. "Who are you?"

"I'm Commander William Riker, the second officer of the starship _Enterprise._ You're Lieutenant Commander Natasha Yar, Chief of Security and Tactical. For some reason, we've all lost our memories. We were only just able to dig out our personnel files."

"What about my son?" Natasha asked. She'd accepted the boy's conclusion about their relationship.

"We can check that easily enough. But first, you two had better get dressed."

"There are dressing rooms in the park. Computer, resume program and freeze."

With the rest of the park in a sort of stasis, the two of them hurriedly replicated clothes and changed. Shortly thereafter, the computer identified the boy as Alexander. It also identified their quarters, and she sent him there, with instructions to stay.

xxxxxxxxx

"Are you sure this is right?" Data asked her as she began to unzip his uniform.

"I have no way of knowing for sure. But we share quarters, that must count for something. Besides, it - _feels_ right."

"I suppose it does."

They continued to divest each other of their clothing.

xxxxxxxxx

"Alexander? " Tasha asked him. "What's wrong?"

"I - I called you my mother. My mother's dead, I barely remember her, how could I dishonor her like that?"

"I don't think she'd see it as a dishonor."

"You don't?"

"She'd be pleased you found someone else to take care of you. Now, I can't replace her, nobody can. But I can fill some of her duties, say, as an honorary aunt?"

"Hmm. Aunt Tasha. I like it."

**One-day wonder. Wow. I'm almost breathless from writing so fast. I hope you like my version of Conundrum!** **The references to Tom Paris' father being demanding and unsympathetic were taken from a minor Voyager subplot.**

**Please Review.**


	25. Chapter TwentyFive: The Starburst

**Big Doors**

**Disclaimer: **If you recognize it, it's not mine. This is an AU story.

_**Chapter Twenty-Five: The Starburst  
**_

Tasha wasn't sure why, but her gut instinct was telling her something wasn't what it was supposed to be. She doubted anyone, least of all Admiral Brand, would have noticed, but Tasha knew Wesley well enough to realize he was uneasy.

She'd asked Picard for permission to sit in on the hearing, and he had granted it. Now, she was glad she had. There was definitely something going on.

Tasha had learned long ago to read people, mostly as a defensive tactic to overcome her ingrained instinct to suspect everyone. Wesley was easy because she'd known her honorary little brother for so long, but there were very few people she couldn't figure out to some degree.

The squadron leader, Nick Locarno appeared to be at ease, but Tasha's instincts told her he was hiding something. Jean Hajar, the squadron navigator, gave off the same sense. Sito Jaxa, a Bajoran cadet, was more like Wesley - nervous and uncomfortable. She also noticed that both Wesley and Sito appeared to get more uncomfortable when Locarno blamed the crash on their deceased classmate's erratic flying.

As soon as the hearing was over, Tasha cornered her friend. She was aware that he'd been avoiding everyone from the _Enterprise_, and she had no intention of letting him avoid her.

"Wesley, can we talk?"

"Sure."

"Alone." Tasha nodded to the grounds.

"All right."

Tasha led Wesley to a small, secluded area of the grounds. "Found this when I was a cadet. It's a great place to study."

"What's this about?"

"Wesley, what's really going on?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Wesley, I know you, and I know something was making you uncomfortable in the courtroom. I know there's something that Locarno didn't tell us."

Wesley didn't respond.

"Wesley, I know you were close to the cadet who died in this accident. And I noticed you seemed particularly upset when Locarno said he'd caused the accident. He didn't, did he?"

Wesley's head dropped. "I don't know," he whispered. "It all happened too fast - anyone could have hit anyone - I told him it was stupid - Josh and I did -"

"You told who? Told them what was stupid?"

"Locarno. It was his idea."

"What was?"

Wesley swallowed hard. "The Kolvoord Starburst."

"Please tell me you're not saying what I think you're saying."

"Locarno wanted to do something big and fancy to close off his career, so he came up with the Starburst. What could be a better finale than something that hadn't been done in a hundred years? Jean - Hajar - she was all over it. The rest of us weren't sure, but they talked Sito into it, and then the three of them leaned on Josh and me, wouldn't let up until we said yes. I caved first," he admitted. "Once I wasn't backing him up, Josh just couldn't deal with it anymore. Ever since the accident, I've been trying to get them to tell the truth, but they won't do that either."

"Have you been talking to all of them together?"

"Yes, why?"

"I can read people, Wes. Sito Jaxa's almost as uncertain as you are. Talk to her in private. Wesley," she added, because she could see he was wavering, "your friend isn't here to tell his side of the story. It's up to you to tell it for him. You already let Locarno talk you into one bad decision. Don't make that mistake again."

xxxxxxxxx

Tasha spent the brief minutes before the next step of the trial analyzing the cadets again. She read no visible change in Locarno or Hajar, but Wesley and Sito seemed even more nervous, and were shooting each other subtle glances.

So they had spoken, and by the looks of it, come to some sort of agreement. The only question was what they had agreed to do.

Admiral Brand called the hearing to order and called Wesley to the stand. She prepared to show the data from the flight recorder, and asked him to describe what was happening.

"Are you ready, Mr. Crusher?" she asked.

"Yes, sir." The video started, and so did his narration. "This is the beginning of our run toward Titan. I'm on the right wing."

"Where is Mr. Albert at this point?" she asked.

"He was on my port quarter, approximately fifty meters away. We've just received the signal to begin the diamond slot formation. That's Cadet Locarno coming into view. We're in a twenty degree turn around Titan. We should be coming out of Titan's gravity well about now."

"That is the extent of the data we were able to recover from the flight recorder," Brand explained as the video cut to static. "Mr. Crusher, would you describe what happened after you left orbit of Titan?"

"Once we cleared the moon, Mr. Locarno led us into a Yeager loop." Wesley fell silent, glancing from Sito to Tasha and then back to Sito, and at that moment Tasha knew what he was going to do. "We completed the loop and afterward broke formation and attempted a Kolvoord Starburst."

The courtroom erupted in gasps and stunned exclamations.

"It's true, sir." Sito rose and moved to stand next to Wesley.

"Would one of you like to explain why this wasn't mentioned yesterday? Or, for that matter, in any of your reports?"

Wesley and Sito exchanged a look, and she spoke. "Cadet Locarno pressured us to cover it up, to omit part of the truth. At first, we allowed ourselves to be manipulated. Cadet Crusher had the most doubts about it, and yesterday he persuaded me to go along with him in telling the truth. The accident wasn't Josh's fault. It was all of ours."

"Mr Locarno, you are the leader of Nova Squadron." Brand turned her attention to him. "Do you have anything to say? Mr. Locarno?"

"No, sir."

xxxxxxxxx

"Formal reprimaind, and revocation of flight privileges." Wesley recited his disciplinary sentence in a monotone. "Could've been worse. We all should have been expelled. We would have, if not for Nick asking to take responsibility for all of us."

"Didn't your navigator, Hajar, get all her credits from this year canceled?"

"Yeah, so?"

"You and Sito didn't. And that's not because of anything Locarno did. It's because of what you did. I don't think you would have been expelled. Hajar, maybe, but not you. Admiral Brand recognized that it took guts to do what you did."

"How do you know that?"

"Like I said, Wesley, I can read people."

**I know I deprived Picard of his speech, but honestly I like this version better. Wesley was so uncertain, I always thought a good push in the right direction at the right time would have gotten it through to him. Tasha being more of a sister figure instead of a parental figure probably helped too. As for Sito, I felt like someone had to back Wesley up and I picked her because she seemed more uncertain about the lie than Hajar. Also, her personality in "Lower Decks" seemed to fit.**

**Please review. I only got one review for the last chapter and I'm kinda disappointed!**


	26. Chapter TwentySix: Unlikely Companions

**Big Doors**

**Disclaimer: **If you recognize it, it's not mine. This is an AU story.

_**Chapter Twenty-Six: Friends and Otherwise**_

"Hey, Tasha!" The little Klingon came hurtling down the hall. "You want to see this cool new holodeck program?"

"Slow down, you'll run someone over." Tasha just barely kept back her laughter. "Now, tell me about this new program."

"It's the Parallax Colony. From Shiralea VI. It's all about having fun!"

"Well, it certainly sounds like fun."

"Why don't you come have fun with us?"

"Us? Who's us?"

"Mrs. Troi and me!"

Tasha sighed inwardly. She loved spending time with Alexander, and if she was to be honest with herself, the program did sound like fun. But she knew Lwaxana Troi didn't like her, and the last thing she wanted was to stress Alexander out by shoving him into the middle of that mess.

"I'm afraid I'm busy now. Maybe you can show me this program sometime later?"

"Okay!" Alexander skipped off down the hall.

xxxxxxxxx

"Mother, we need to talk."

"Alexander -"

"Not about Alexander. About Tasha."

"What about her? I haven't even seen her since I came aboard, not that it's any great loss."

"That's exactly what I'm talking about. You don't even give her a chance. You never did."

"A chance to do what? More damage?"

"She hasn't done damage! What are you talking about?"

"She's angry and tough and has no room in herself for sympathy or love."

"That's not true!"

"I'm a telepath, Deanna. I know what's in her mind."

"You're seeing what you want to see. Have you ever actually seen her with Alexander? Or Lal? Or any child? She's capable of more love than I could have imagined from someone who's been through everything she has."

"Ah, yes, there's the qualifier. You act like she's entitled to be the way she is, and why? She said her mother died. When? Five years ago? How long does this indulgence last?"

"She was five. Younger than I was when Daddy died. And it's not just her parents - yes, both her parents. That's only the tip of the iceberg! But you know what? I'm not going to tell you, because it's obvious you don't care! And I don't have the right to pour her story out to someone who will laugh it off."

xxxxxxxxx

Picard couldn't suppress a sigh of relief when Lwaxana finally beamed off the ship. For that matter, neither could most of the rest of the senior staff.

"I tried to talk to her," Deanna was explaining. "She just doesn't listen. She could beat an ox in a stubbornness contest."

"I just wish she could understand."

"So do I." Deanna put her hand on her friend's shoulder. "Hey, I have an idea. Something to make you feel better."

"Chocolate?"

"You know it!"

xxxxxxxxx

Tasha had dealt with some odd things in her security days, odd enough that she thought nothing could surprise her. Correction: had thought. The young Borg in the brig had been one heck of a surprise.

If the idea of taking a Borg aboard hadn't been weird enough, the behavior of this one was the icing on the cake. When she'd heard that Beverly and Geordi had named him, she'd nearly burst out laughing. But that was before she'd guarded him. Hugh reminded her less of the enemy she despised than of a teenage boy, young and horribly frightened.

"Have you - ever been lonely?"

"Yes," she said quietly. "I have."

"What did you do?"

"Sometimes I found someone to stop my loneliness. Sometimes, all I could do was bear it."

Hugh circled the small cell, attaching himself to the adapter Geordi had designed and then detaching himself just as quickly. He paced again, and repeated the routine with the adapter. His one remaining organic eye fixed on Tasha, and she could see in it that he was both frightened and frustrated.

"We must have energy." It wasn't a demand. It sounded more like a plea.

"All right." She tapped her combadge. "Yar to La Forge."

"La Forge here."

"It's Hugh. He's saying he needs more energy."

"I've been rationing -"

"Geordi," she interrupted, lowering her voice, "the way he's behaving - if he were human, I'd say he was starving. He keeps attaching and detaching himself from the conduit. Maybe it's a reaction to being separated from the collective, I don't know. But I don't think it's right to withhold food from him like this."

A moment of silence. "All right. I'll give him a little more."

Tasha ended the connection and turned back to Hugh. "Try it now."

Hugh connected himself to the conduit, and Tasha saw relief in his face as his - the closest term she could come up with was hunger - was eased.

"Better?" Tasha didn't really expect him to answer. He hadn't when Geordi had asked him.

"Yes," he said to her surprise. "Thank you."

Tasha couldn't help smiling. "You're welcome."

xxxxxxxxx

"May we ask you something?"

Tasha didn't ordinarily carry on conversations through forcefields, but this wasn't an ordinary case by any means. "Fire away."

"Why should we wish to harm you?"

Tasha stared at him for a second before bursting out laughing. "I'm sorry," she gasped out. "You reminded me of someone. It's an expression, it means go ahead."

"Are we friends?"

Tasha's laughter melted away instantly. "Excuse me?"

"Geordi explained to us the idea of friendship. He is our friend. Are you?"

"Yes," said Tasha with a thoughtful smile.

xxxxxxxxx

Two weeks ago, Tasha had stood with Geordi on a bleak planet, watching as their mutual friend vanished into thin air. It had been difficult for both of them to watch him go. They were fortunate to have each other. Tasha could never, in a million years, have imagined losing Geordi. But he had vanished into thin air, just like Hugh. And he hadn't reappeared on the other side.

The transporter operator had tried everything, tried desperately to get Geordi and the Bajoran Ensign Ro Laren beamed back from the Romulan ship. She couldn't explain why a routine transport had gone so wrong.

When the news came through that she'd lost them, Tasha and Will exchanged despairing glances. She could see in his eyes the pain of losing officers under his command, and officers who were his personal friends nonetheless. She wondered if he could see the tears in hers.

"Transporter room," he said, and his voice was thick with emotion, "take the transporters offline and put a shuttle on standby. We'll be relying on the shuttles until further notice."

He put his hand on her shoulder and forced a smile. Tasha returned it with an equally forced one of her own.

"Come on, Tasha. We have a job to take care of."

xxxxxxxxx

Data entered his quarters to find Tasha curled on the couch, weeping silently. He stepped up behind her, silently pulling her backwards into him. She twisted around in his arms, putting her own arms around his neck.

"I'm sorry," she whispered into his ear, placing a gentle kiss on his cheek. "I'm so sorry."

Data nodded silently. He couldn't feel grief or sadness, but he felt the emptiness of his friend's absence, felt it so keenly it was almost painful. He had become used to Geordi, to the man's friendship, and he could not stop thinking about how empty it would be without him around. Tasha's embrace felt good and he leaned into it, resting his hear on her shoulder.

"What can I do?"

"Your touch and proximity are comforting. I believe it would be beneficial to me if you continued them."

He felt her tighten her grip. "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere." She kissed the top of his head. "Grieve however you need to. I'll take care of you."

"I am sorry."

"For what?"

"You are crying. I should be caring for you, not the other way around."

"Data, I loved Geordi, I don't deny it. He was like my brother. But what you had with him was special, to both of you. You were closer than brothers, and it's understandable that you'd take his loss hard."

"I do not know how to process my reaction."

"Don't try to analyze it. Just let it happen, and know I'm always here if you need me." He felt her hands on his back, mimicking a gesture he had used countless times to calm her. He nuzzled his head into her shoulder, beginning to understand just why it was she'd asked for physical contact every time she was upset.

xxxxxxxxx

"What are you doing?" Tasha watched with some curiosity as Data worked intensely at - something.

"The captain has given me permission to plan a memorial for Geordi and Ensign Ro. I am attempting to come up with something suitable."

"Can I see what you've got?"

Data handed over the PADD and Tasha looked over it. "Data, this sounds more like a party than a funeral."

"Then it is inappropriate?"

"Inappropriate?" She smiled, the first true smile that had crossed her face since the accident. "It's perfect!"

"Are you certain?"

"Absolutely. Mind if I help?"

"Not at all."

xxxxxxxxx

"You knew him on the _Victory_, didn't you?" Deanna asked.

"I did. It was, well, not easy to explain. That is, we - what the hell?"

The ground in front of Data and Picard, who had been discussing their departure nearby, was - sparkling. And not only that, a figure was beginning to take shape. A figure in the shape of two people. Two very familiar people.

Tasha wasn't the only one to notice either. Conversations were grinding to a halt all over the room, and Will Riker had stopped playing, followed shortly by the rest of the band. The figures on the floor became solid.

"Data," Geordi asked urgently, "do you see us?"

"Of course." The android stepped forward, extending a hand to each of them and helping them to their feet.

"La Forge to Engineering," Geordi said urgently, and Tasha could just imagine the looks on the faces of the people down there, "Take the warp engines off line until further notice. There's a muon wave build up in the dilithium chamber."

A long pause, and them someone finally spoke. "Captain, who gave that order?"

Tasha was sure they could hear his smile through the comm. "That was Commander Geordi La Forge, Ensign. Please follow his instructions."

"Aye, sir."

Geordi looked around. "Well, it looks like a great party. Do you mind if we join you?"

That broke the ice. Tasha rushed forward, hugging Geordi so tightly she had to be cutting off some circulation. Beverly and Will followed her, and then the rest of Ten-Forward, and Geordi and Ro were smothered in hugs and handshakes.

"Geordi," she heard Data say, "it is good to see you."

"Thanks, Data. I've never been to a better funeral."

**Wow, I updated both my stories in one night. My muse is working overtime.**

**For anyone who's wondering, this chapter covers the episodes "Half a Life," "I Borg," and "The Next Phase." Next up is "Time's Arrow" which I know a lot of you have been eagerly awaiting!**

**A little bit of Tasha's dialogue in the last bit has been changed, for reasons that will become quickly apparent to readers of _Perfectly Logical_.  
**

**Please Review.**


	27. Chapter TwentySeven: How Time Flies

**Big Doors**

**Disclaimer: **If you recognize it, it's not mine. This is an AU story.

_**Chapter Twenty-Seven: How Time Flies**_

"Tasha. I've been looking for you." Beverly hurried up to her. "Do you have a minute?"

"Sure. What is it?"

"You're aware Lal's been doing some field study in different areas of the ship?"

"Of course."

"Well, she's done a bit of study in Sickbay, and she really seems to have an aptitude for it. Oh, I know she's bound to have an aptitude for everything, but it's more than that. She likes it. She likes helping people."

"That doesn't really surprise me."

"I want to talk to the Captain and her teacher about increasing her time in sickbay. It would probably mean cutting back on some of her other activities, but -"

"You have my permission, and I can say with some certainty that you'll have Data's if you ask him. If you get the Captain's approval, and if Lal is interested, go right ahead."

xxxxxxxxx

Tasha's face was white as she stared at the "artifact". "My God," she whispered.

"I told you it would be a shock," Will said apologetically.

"How -"

"We don't know. We don't know when either. For all we know, it could be three hundred years from now."

"Or it could be tomorrow," Tasha finished for him.

Will nodded soberly. "If you need to talk to someone, I already told Deanna."

"You told Deanna before you told me?"

"I wanted her to be available immediately after I talked to you."

"I had the right to know! You should have told me first. What if I'd heard it from someone else?"

"Only Data, Deanna, the Captain and I knew, and they would have known better than to tell you."

"That doesn't matter, Will. I'm closer to Data than Deanna is, you should have told me first! It wasn't fair of you! It's not fair - none of it is."

At that last sentence, Will saw her shoulders sag and knew she wasn't really mad at him. "It's just not fair," she whispered. "Everything good that happens to me, every_one_ good that happens to me, gets taken away. My parents, my sister..." she trailed off abruptly.

"I know."

"I - Will, I can't -"

"Tasha," He gripped her shoulders gently, looking straight into her eyes. "_I know._"

Her eyes widened as she realized his meaning. "How -"

"The Sigma III mission."

"When you had the Q powers. You saw -"

"I didn't mean to see something so personal. That's why I never said anything." He pulled her close and hugged her. "I'm sorry."

"Just do me one favor, Will. Keep it between us."

"My lips are sealed."

Tasha looked back over at the "artifact." "I just can't deal with the idea that I might lose the love of my life too."

She instantly found herself wrapped in another hug. "It could be years, Tasha. It might not even happen in your lifetime. But if it does, we're all here for you. You know that, right?"

She nodded. "Thanks, Will. But if you don't mind, I need to be alone right now."

"I understand."

xxxxxxxxx

"Tasha, you are crying. Is my programming no longer sufficient?"

"No, no." She sniffed lightly, pulling her beloved android close. "I can't help thinking that I'm going to lose you. And I can't shake the feeling that it's going to happen soon."

He wrapped his arms around her. "We do not know that."

"It's a feeling, Data. I can't justify it rationally, it's just there." She kissed him. "I'd miss you so much if you - you know."

"I do know." He kissed her head. "But we should not allow that to ruin whatever time remains for us."

"You know what? You're absolutely right." She pulled him close again, running her fingers over his naked, perfect body. "Remind me. Where did we leave off?"

"I believe I was -"

She silenced him with a finger to his lips. "Don't tell me, Data. Show me."

xxxxxxxxx

She wanted to scream. She wanted to cry. She wanted to do anything but stare at the spot where, as near as she could figure, the man she loved more than life itself had disappeared.

"Tasha." Deanna gently put her hand on her friend's arm. "We don't know what happened. He could be fine."

"And he could be dead!" she snapped back. "Stop trying to make me feel better, Deanna, because it's not going to work!"

Deanna had known Tasha longer than just about anyone, and realized that nothing she could say could calm her friend down. She ended up just letting her go.

Tasha wasn't exactly sure what it was that led her to Ten-Forward, but nonetheless, that was where she found herself. Guinan cut the conversation she was involved in short to run over to the distressed Security Chief.

"Anything I can help with?"

"It's Data," Tasha whispered.

"I heard. But Tasha, you have to hope for the best. You can't go around assuming Data is dead, you'll just make yourself miserable."

Tasha gave the woman an odd look. "Okay. What do you know that I don't?"

"Can't tell, I'm afraid. But I'd keep a positive outlook. Now, how about a Samarian sunset?"

"You know me too well."

xxxxxxxxx

It was the knowledge that Data was on the other side of the portal that had allowed Tasha to step fearlessly through it. However, in the two days since then, they had yet to find Data. What they had found was one hassle after another.

Tasha had been the most resilient member of the group - nineteenth century San Francisco was nothing compared to the hellhole of her childhood - and she could tell Picard and the others appreciated her calm outlook and basic understanding of a currency system. Beverly had managed to get herself hired as a nurse in one of the major hospitals, and Will had obtained a police uniform. They'd decided it was better not to ask where.

Geordi was having the most trouble. They were nearly half a millennium too early for the VISOR, and so he couldn't use it when anyone was looking. They'd acquired a pair of sunglasses. but Tasha knew it was difficult for him having to get around without his sight, however alternative.

Just then, however, Tasha and Deanna were walking through the streets and lamenting the lack of a holo-imager.

"I wish we could take some pictures back to Paris," Deanna laughed.

"I know! Tom would be so jealous!"

"Excuse me." They turned to see a hotel bellboy behind them. "You ladies French too? Or just tourists?"

They shared a confused look.

"You were talking about taking pictures back to Paris."

"Oh." Tasha grinned sheepishly. "Paris is the name of a friend of ours."

"I suppose I'm not one to talk. My name's London. Jack London."

"You asked if we were from France too. Have there been a lot of French people around recently?" She hoped he hadn't noticed anything odd about the Captain.

"Only one. Turned up a few days ago. Strangest man, I'll tell you. Showed up in what looked like a pair of pajamas with a brooch, then won a bundle in a poker game. And I swear I saw him pick up an anvil with one hand. He dropped it, of course, but he _got it off the ground._"

"This man - what did he look like?" Tasha asked.

"That's odd too. Pale, yellow eyes. Almost like he wasn't real."

"Did you get his name?"

"Just one name, as far as I know. Data."

"I don't suppose you know where he is now?" Deanna asked for Tasha, who was unlikely to be able to think rationally. "We - my friend and I - were supposed to meet him here, but we've had trouble tracking him down."

"Well, he's staying at the Hotel Brian - that's where I work. If he's not there now, he'll be back soon enough. That's where I'm headed now. I could take you ladies with me. It's not far."

"You go, Tasha," Deanna insisted. "I'll find the - the others," she barely stopped herself from saying _the Captain_.

"Right."

xxxxxxxxx

Guinan sighed when someone knocked on the door. The only people who ever came to see Data, besides her, were the bellboy, who had no reason to come in now, and Clemens, who'd already sneaked in uninvited once.

"Mr. Data?" London. "There's someone here to see you."

"Who is it?" The android called back.

"Data!" That was a female voice that Guinan didn't recognize, but judging by Data's reaction, he did. "Data, it's me!"

Instantly, the android was on his feet and had unlocked the door. A blonde woman, a little over five feet, stepped into the room, throwing herself into Data's arms as soon as the door was closed.

"I was worried about you." Tasha hadn't even noticed that there was someone else in the room.

"You had no cause to worry. I was, as humans say, 'in one piece.'"

Tasha's eyebrows shot up. _Did Data just make a joke? _But before she could react further, he spoke again.

"There is someone I wish for you to meet."

For the first time, Tasha realized they weren't alone. "Guinan!"

"Do I know you?"

"Unlike you and me, Guinan is not a time-traveler. This is Guinan as she was in this time period."

The conversation she'd had with the bartender just a few days earlier - at least, a few days by her perception - rushed back. Guinan had been there, she had _known_ Data was alive.

"Come on," she said finally. "The others are out looking for the Devidians. The Captain's set his tricorder to broadcast on every frequency you'd recieve."

"I had not thought to scan for it." Data sat still for a moment as he scanned. "Ah, I know where he is. Madam Guinan, I am afraid we will have to continue this at a later date."

xxxxxxxxx

"I just want you to know," Will said seriously, "that I have the utmost respect for the law." With that, he swung back and slammed the officer in the face, grabbing the cane back.

"Let's go," Picard said urgently. They needed no convincing and ran out onto the street to see a carriage. A carriage with two very familiar people in the front seat.

Data halted the horses sharply and they ran up to the carriage.

"Data," Geordi grinned, "are we ever glad to see you!"

"I suggest we postpone our greetings," Data said logically.

"Agreed." Picard hopped on. "Get us out of here."

Data snapped the reins and the horses took off full tilt.

xxxxxxxxx

Tasha threw up her hand as the cane flashed. A shockwave threw her back and she landed startled but unhurt. The male Devidian rushed through the newly-opened portal.

"Follow him!" Picard yelled.

Tasha leaped through the portal, followed by Will and the others. The portal flashed closed again.

"Is everybody all right?" Will asked.

"I think so." Beverly answered.

"Where's the Captain?" Tasha asked suddenly.

"He must not have made it back," Deanna said soberly.

"You!" Will gasped. They turned to see that Clemens had appeared with them."

"Where are we?" he asked. "And when?"

"This is the twenty fourth century, we're on Devidia Two, and you're not supposed to be here." Will replied shortly.

"Oh, God. " Tasha gasped suddenly. The away team whirled to find her kneeling next to Data - or rather, Data's body. His head was gone.

Geordi was instantly at her side, one arm around her shoulders. The others looked on silently. Even Clemens was stunned into silence.

"Bridge to Away Team." Worf's voice crackled through the comm. "Acknowledge."

"We're here, Mr. Worf. Stand by to transport seven. Energize."

They materialized on the transporter pad - Data, lying headless on the ground, Tasha kneeling next to him, Geordi crouching beside her, Deanna and Beverly looking on worriedly, and Will keeping a close eye on Clemens.

"Where are we now?" the writer asked.

"We're on the starship _Enterprise. _Commander Yar," he paused to make sure he had her attention before continuing, "I want a security escort for this man."

Clemens protested loudly, which led to Deanna offering to escort him, and Tasha accompanied Geordi down to the lab, watching anxiously as he attempted to reattach Data's head.

"Torpedoes. Phasing. Alien," were the first words out of Data's mouth, and Tasha looked at Geordi in alarm. But before she could speak, Data did, and more coherently. "

"I am processing a binary message entered into my static memory by Captain Picard. Geordi, are we planning to fire on the alien habitat?"

"Yeah, but -"

"It is imperative that we do not. I will explain later. "

"La Forge to Riker," Geordi called out, already sprinting for the turbolift. "Hold your fire!"

Data started to follow, but his momentum was checked when Tasha threw herself at him.

xxxxxxxxx

"You are crying again," Data said gently. "There is nothing for you to worry about now."

"I know, Data," she said. "That's why I'm crying."

**I'm really sorry about how long this took. Finals took over my life and left me with a bad case of writer's block. A plot bunny for a RENT fanfic cured that, but then I had to write the RENT story before I could focus on this one or **_**Perfectly Logical**_**. Apologies to anyone on my author alert list who got an alert for that story and isn't into that fandom.**

**I recently began thinking that I'll continue this story and **_**Perfectly Logical**_** until the end of **_**All Good Things**_**, at which point I would end both stories and merge the timelines, beginning a third story as a sequel to these two. Anyone passionately for or against this? Let me know.**

**Please Review.**


	28. Chapter TwentyEight: Blast From the Past

**Big Doors**

**Disclaimer: **If you recognize it, it's not mine. This is an AU story.

_**Chapter Twenty-Eight: Blast From the Past**_

"Commander, I have restored life support. The oxygen levels will return to normal shortly." Tasha stopped short as she realized Will and Geordi had been joined by a third man - one whose uniform was several decades out of date.

"Captain Scott, Lieutenant Commander Natasha Yar."

"I thought we didn't detect any life signs."

"Somehow - and I'm still working on that - he rigged a transporter to keep him alive, in a sort of stasis." Tasha guessed that if she'd been able to see Geordi's eyes, they'd have been bugging out of his head.

"Hang on a second. I swear I've heard of you before. Scott, Scott -"

"The original _Enterprise_," Will supplied, and Tasha's eyes went wide.

"Wait, wait. You mean you didn't come out here looking for me?"

The three officers exchanged a look. Will finally spoke. "Captain Scott, the _Jenolen _was reported missing seventy-five years ago."

Scott's eyes went wide. Then almost as quickly, his face fell as a previously forgotten memory resurfaced. "Jim - Captain Kirk -" Agony washed over his features, and Will stepped forward to place a hand on the man's arm.

"I can't believe I didn't remember." Grief caused his accent to thicken.

"The amount of time you spent in the transporter may have blocked those memories." Geordi's voice was soft, and Tasha knew he was remembering Data's supposed death years before.

"Geordi, is there any possibility of more permanent damage?"

"I couldn't tell you, sir. Nothing like this has ever been done or even tried before. I suggest we get him to Sickbay. Doctor Crusher should look at him."

"Agreed. Riker to _Enterprise_. Four to beam back."

xxxxxxxxx

"We had a little excitement down in Sickbay," Geordi told Tasha with a look that suggested he was trying not to laugh.

"Oh? Do tell."

"Well, Doctor Crusher was just about finished giving Captain Scott a clean bill of health when Alexander comes barreling in - an injured hand."

"Is he okay?"

"He's fine. But someone, or everyone, neglected to mention the participation of Kingons in Starfleet."

Tasha's jaw dropped as she made the last connection herself. "So he saw a Klingon walk into sickbay -"

"Exactly. It took Beverly and me three minutes to get it through his head that we're not fighting the Klingons anymore, even unoficially. Even then, he walked away mumbling something about David Marcus."

"Who?"

"Didn't you ever pay attention in history?"

"I was never very good at it. Ask Deanna."

"David Marcus was Captain Kirk's son. Killed by Klingons."

There was a long silence, and Geordi guessed Tasha wasn't sure how to respond.

"We'll have to keep him away from Worf, then," she said finally, "at least until he gets used to the alliance."

Geordi nodded. "He does know there's a Klingon lieutenant on board, but it's still a good idea."

"Of course it is. I came up with it, didn't I?"

"Hey." Geordi grinned. "There's a first time for everything." Then he turned and ran, laughing, before she could hit him.

xxxxxxxxx

"You're not the only person Data's made uncomfortable."

"Commander! I didn't see you there."

"Sorry. I've been there for two minutes."

"I was thinking. What were you saying?"

"Data told me what you said. He makes you uncomfortable, doesn't he?"

"Frankly, lass, yes."

"What is it?"

"What?"

"His intelligence? His frankness? There's always one element that makes a person uncomfortable."

"The circuitry."

"Pardon?"

"Every human-shaped machine I've ever been around has been no good. How long have you had it around?"

"_Him_," Tasha corrected firmly. "More than five years. Before that, he served on another ship, and before that at a desk job. And he went through the Academy like any of us."

"You're in love with the lad, aren't you?"

She blushed. "That obvious?"

"It's written all over your face. But seriously. He's never, I don't know, short-circuited on you?"

"Okay, he got possessed once. But if I'm not mistaken, he wasn't the only one. If I'm not mistaken, the original_ Enterprise_'s first officer was possessed on one of her first missions."

"True enough."

"On more than one occasion, his skills have been the only thing between us and death."

"Really?"

"Oh, sure. A few months into the mission, we went out to investigate some problems with a research ship. Turned out they'd run into an odd side-effect of the collapsing star they were observing..."

And so, skimming over the explanation of just how Data had become infected - though she figured the former engineer had some idea, given how she was blushing - she recounted one such story, followed by others. Little did she know the bugs in Data's artificial intelligence were to make themselves known in the not-so-distant future.

xxxxxxxxx

"Data's _what_?"

"You heard me, Geordi."

"Are you sure you're not imagining it?"

"Positive."

"I have no idea what she is speaking of. To my knowledge, I have done no such thing. Maybe the gal's hearing things." The last sentence came out in a southern drawl.

"See what I mean?"

"Well either we're both imagining things, or I owe you an apology for doubting you. I'll check it out."

xxxxxxxxx

"So you're back to normal?"

"Completely. I have run diagnostics on myself."

"Maybe we ought to make sure."

"What did you have in mind?"

"I was thinking we could run a test of a few of your subroutines."

"Which subroutines were you - oh."

"Exactly. You're done down here, aren't you?"

"I am indeed. And I am fascinated by your idea."

xxxxxxxxx

Tasha Yar had never actually disobeyed a direct order. Never. She'd walked a fine line a few times, but always stayed a hair shy of gross insubordination. But not this time. This time she was prepared to go all the way. And all this for three tiny robots.

"Commander, can you release the lockout?" Will repeated impatiently.

"No, sir."

"You haven't even tried!"

"Tell me something I don't know."

"Well, at least try to release the damn lockout!"

"No, sir."

"Excuse me?"

"Data says they're lifeforms. I'm inclined to agree with him."

"Commander - Tasha. The Captain and Geordi -"

"You think I don't know that? You think I made this decision easily? I don't want to let them die, Will. But I don't think I could live with myself knowing I sacrificed innocent lifeforms to save my friends. And if Geordi and the Captain were here, I think they'd agree with me."

"Release the lockout! That's an order."

"Will, please. Don't make this any harder for me than it already is."

"If there were a way to save the Captain and Geordi without destroying the exocomps, I would jump on it, but we have run out of time and this is the only solution I've got."

"Then let me offer an alternative." Data spoke up. "Transport me to the station, I will attempt a complete manual shut down of the particle stream."

"The radiation levels are too high, even for you. Your positronic net would ionize in no time. I can't let you sacrifice yourself."

"Commander," the android insisted, even as he locked an apologetic gaze on Tasha, "if I give my life to save my fellow officers, that is my choice. The exocomps no longer have a choice."

"Then what if we re-connect their command pathways and we give them a choice? You've assumed the exocomps would shut down before accepting this mission. What if we ask them if they are willing to proceed?"

"That sounds reasonable, sir," Data replied, and Tasha was nodding. "If they choose to go, I would be willing to release the transporter lock out."

xxxxxxxxx

"Will? Can we talk?"

"I get the feeling I know what this is about."

"I wanted to say I'm sorry. Not for standing up for Data, but for getting in your face to do it."

"You were right."

"There is that."

Will smiled slightly. "Maybe it's better to be insubordinate for the right reasons than loyal for the wrong ones." A shadow flickered across his face, but he forced it away with a smile. "But if this happens again, it better be a damn good right reason."

Tasha grinned. "Aye, sir."

**I know this is less detailed than many of my recent chapters, but it's sort of a gap-filler. I've been planning the next bit for months, so it should be better. Unfortunately, that one may take awhile to write, since after all that planning I'll have to get it right (and will probably be more than one chapter).**

**I changed the mention of the cause for Scotty's reaction to Alexander, because the original mentioned Scotty not knowing about the Khitomer Accords - I misdated the conference by a few decades.  
**

**The bit with Scott suddenly remembering Kirk is dead is my attempt to reconcile Scotty's earlier line with the _Generations_ timeline. Did it work?  
**

**Please Review.**


	29. Chapter TwentyNine: Mission Gone Wrong

**Big Doors**

**Disclaimer: **If you recognize it, it's not mine. This is an AU story.

_**Chapter Twenty-Nine: Mission Gone Wrong  
**_

"All right, Captain, what's going on here?" Tasha wasn't the type to beat around the bush, nor was she the type to allow anyone else to beat around the bush in her presence. No matter that she was the lowest-ranked officer in the room.

"I can't tell you two everything." He looked from Tasha to Beverly. "Not yet. But I'll tell you what I can. Starfleet has ordered us - meaning the three of us and no one else - on a top-secret mission into Cardassian space."

"Captain, there hasn't been trouble with the Cardassians for years," Beverly said, shocked.

"I know. And I know it's frustrating for both of you not to know, but I'm going to have to ask you to trust me."

"I do, Captain," Beverly said instantly.

"As do I." Tasha added.

"Good." The man got a small smile on his face. "Now, there's quite a bit of preparation we'll have to do before we leave."

"Sir?"

"Natasha?"

"How much of what you've told me can I disclose?"

"If you're asking me what you can tell Mr. Data and your daughter -"

"Yes, sir."

"Data, like the other members of this crew, will be told that we are on a confidential mission, but not the details thereof. You may convey that much, but no more, to other parties who might have an interest. Understood?"

"Yes, sir?"

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"But _where _are you going?"

"I can't tell you." Tasha refrained from telling Lal that the reason she couldn't tell her was because she didn't know in the first place.

"When will you return?"

"I can't tell you that either. All the details of the mission are confidential."

"What if you don't come back?"

The worry in her daughter's voice tore at Tasha. "Don't talk that way." She opened her arms and hugged Lal.

"You don't know, do you?" the android asked into the woman's shoulder.

"Know what?"

"What the mission is. Where you're going. When, if at all, you're coming back."

"I can't answer that." But Tasha knew Lal would guess the answer from her lack of a definitive response.

"I love you."

"I love you too, baby."

"Please try to come back." Tasha could see the tears shimmering in her eyes. "Promise me you'll try."

"I promise."

xxxxxxxxx

"I had expected you to be asleep," Data remarked as he stepped into the bedroom.

"I was waiting for you."

"Am I correct in assuming you wish to engage in intimacy?"

Tasha couldn't help smiling at Data's turn of phrase. "If you're up for it."

"The question, I believe, is not whether I am 'up for it', but rather whether you are. You appear exhausted. Your training must be quite taxing."

"It is, and I am. But I have no idea how long this mission will last, how long it'll be before I see you again." She was aware she was probably bending the rules by admitting her uncertainty, but she knew Data wouldn't tell, and she was probably not telling him anything he hadn't at least guessed.

"All right." He gently began to remove her clothes.

She slept in his arms that night, waking to gentle shaking.

"You neglected to set an alarm. Fortunately, I remembered the time at which you were required to wake, and added one point five hours to that."

"Why so long? It'll only take me twenty minutes to get ready."

"I believed you might desire another 'going away present'."

Tasha laughed and shook her head. "Well, no point in letting those seventy extra minutes go to waste."

xxxxxxxxx

"Data?"

"Yes?"

She kissed him tenderly. "I love you."

He gently disengaged from her. "You must go. Captain Picard will be most displeased if you are late. And Tasha?"

"Yes?"

"Please be mindful of your own safety. I wish to see you again."

"You will. And I'll be expecting a welcome-home present to match that going-away present."

"You will have one."

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"Well, now that we're under way, I can tell you about our mission. Starfleet Intelligence believes the Cardassians are developing a metagenic weapon."

"Oh my God," Beverly gasped.

"A what?" Tasha asked at the same time.

"They're genetically engineered viruses that are designed to destroy entire ecosystems," Beverly explained. "When metagenic toxins are released into a planet's atmosphere, they immediately begin to mutate. They seek out and destroy all forms of DNA they encounter. In a few days, everything is dead."

"In a month, the metagenic agent itself breaks down and dissipates completely, leaving every city, every road, every piece of equipment perfectly intact."

"The perfect weapon of conquest," Tasha said in amazement.

"Starfleet Intelligence believes that the Cardassians are developing a new delivery system, one that would protect them from any chance of accidental exposure to the toxin. They believe that the Cardassians are testing a way of launching dormant metagenic material on a subspace carrier wave."

"So they could activate the toxins after the launch, thereby preventing any accidental exposure," Beverly said, catching on.

"And because the subspace wave would appear simply as background radiation, no one would realize what was happening until it was too late," Picard explained. "Now, for the past few weeks, theta-band subspace emissions have been detected coming from Celtris III. Those emissions may indicate that a metagenic delivery system in operation."

"What do we know about Celtris III?" Tasha asked.

"Very little. It was thought to be uninhabited until these emissions were detected. Starfleet believes that the Cardassians may have a secret research lab located somewhere below the planet surface. Our orders are to penetrate this Celtris III installation and determine if the Cardassians are actually building a metagenic weapon."

"And if they are?" Beverly asked.

"Destroy it. At any cost. When I was on the _Stargazer_, we conducted extensive tests using theta band carrier waves. One of the reasons I was selected for this mission is my familiarity with the methods used for generating them. Natasha, your presence here is obvious. Doctor, your job will be to locate and destroy any bio-toxins we may find."

"One problem, Captain," Tasha pointed out. "Celtris II is in Cardassian space. How will we get there undetected?"

"I know a way of acquiring some discreet transport," Picard answered. "Set a course for Torman V."

xxxxxxxxx

Tasha knew the facts a split second before Picard spoke them aloud. "It's a trap."

"Let's go!" Tasha yelled, not bothering with secrecy. At that moment, several Cardassians rushed into the room, phasers armed. The door began to shut, and Tasha threw herself into it, pulling Beverly past her and throwing the doctor into the safety of the next room. She looked towards the Captain, but he was engaged with several Cardassians.

Her responsibility was the safety of the team. Beverly was safe, she'd be able to make her own way out if necessary. Tasha would have to protect the Captain.

She ducked phaser fire, only to be grabbed by the nearest Cardassian, pulled out of the door, and dropped flat on her face. She scrambled to her knees, drew her phaser, and shot him. Her aim was true, and he fell. But the damage was done. The door was closed.

Five more Cardassians rushed in, and the two Federation officers found themselves outnumbered, separated, and surrounded. Picard dropped his weapon, but Tasha kept a death grip on hers. She'd protect her Captain, whatever the cost.

"Drop it, or he dies."

Tasha laughed, and the sound rang out through the chamber. "I doubt that. You've gone to a hell of a lot of trouble to capture him."

The gray-skinned aliens looked at each other, realizing their bluff had been called. But one sneered. "You're right, of course. But he can still answer questions with one arm." Catching on, the Cardassian troops all pointed their weapons at the man's left arm.

They weren't bluffing this time, and Tasha knew it. Slowly, reluctantly, she let her phaser fall.

"Let's go." One of the Cardassians switched off the emitter that had caused so much trouble and marched them out of the room.

xxxxxxxxx

Beverly Crusher realized now, for the first time, how it must have been for Jean-Luc Picard to bring the body of her dead husband to her and Wesley, knowing he had survived the incident that had killed Jack. At the time, all she'd been able to think of was her own agony. Now she saw his side as she looked into the android's face.

"I'm so sorry, Data," she whispered. "So sorry. Is there anything I can do?"

In that moment, she knew that everyone who said Data was an unfeeling machine couldn't have been more wrong. She knew Tasha wasn't by a long shot the first officer he'd ever worked with and lost. But she'd never seen him like this.

"Do you want me to tell Lal?"

"I will inform her. Thank you, doctor."

"Data."

He stopped and turned.

"If you need anything, you know where to find me. I mean it."

xxxxxxxxx

"Come in." Beverly really hoped it wasn't the arrogant Captain. She was in no mood to deal with him.

But it wasn't Jellico. It was Data.

"I was hoping to accept your offer of assistance."

"Of course. Sit down."

Data planted himself in the chair. "I am uncertain as to how to handle Lal's reaction to this matter."

"Where is she now?"

"In our quarters. She said she wished to be alone."

"Then you should let her. She'll tell you when she's ready to talk."

"But I do not wish to be alone."

"You don't have to be." Beverly pulled her android friend into a hug. She'd more-or-less expected him to just sit there. He didn't. He lifted his arms to return her embrace and placed his forehead on her shoulder.

"I know it hurts," she whispered to him. "I know it hurts."

"Is this what you experienced after the death of your husband? This loneliness, this sense of profound loss?"

"Yes, Data. That's what I felt."

xxxxxxxxx

"What is this place?" Tasha demanded. "Why are you holding me here?"

"You don't get to ask questions," one of the Cardassians replied. "We ask. You answer."

**One-day wonder. Wow. I thought this would take several times that.**

**Please review. Reviews might encourage me to update faster [evil smile].**


	30. Chapter Thirty: In The Enemy's Hands

**Big Doors**

**Disclaimer: **If you recognize it, it's not mine. This is an AU story.

_**Chapter Thirty: In The Enemy's Hands**_

"You can ask. But I don't promise I'll answer."

"You will. I'd prefer, of course, to do this the easy way. But it's your choice. Now, as a gesture of goodwill, I'll answer one of your questions. You were never meant to be captured. The trap was set for your dear captain. You just ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time. We might be willing to release you, if you cooperate."

"I doubt that," she said harshly. "I've heard stories about what you do to prisoners, and none of them involved release."

"We might make an exception. What we need is information I'm sure you don't have, but your Captain does. I happen to know you've served with him for almost six years. What's his weakness? What would make him spill even his deepest secrets."

"I don't know." She suspected, but she wasn't going to tell him that. "I don't know, and I wouldn't tell you if I did."

"We have ways of getting that information," he hissed. "One more chance. Tell me."

She met his eyes defiantly, not saying a word.

"Very well." He gestured to the two guards standing by the door. Immediately, they came forward and cut into her clothing, ripping it off her body, and forcing her to the floor.. They attacked her with some sort of instrument she didn't recognize, tearing her skin to pieces and leaving her bruised and gasping, refusing to scream.

The leader said nothing. He just watched, staring at her. After what seemed like forever, he waved the guards off. They resumed their positions by the door. For the longest time, he just stared at her.

"You know," he said idly, "I can see what human men see in their women." He ran his hand across her cheek. She resisted the urge to push him away.

"Leave us," he ordered.

"Sir-"

"_Leave us_."

The guards exited. Tasha shook her head.

"Foolish move," she said with a boldness she didn't feel. "Now it's one on one."

"Don't make me laugh. You _might_ be able to take me at prime strength, but not in the condition you're in now."

Unfortunately, she knew he was right.

"You are a very attractive woman. For a human."

He began to remove his clothes, and she suddenly realized what he was going to do. She scrambled to her feet. This time, the Cardassian Gul did laugh.

"And just where do you think you're going?"

Once again, he was right. The cell was small and the only way out was the door. The locked door.

He grabbed her shoulders, nearly wrenching a cry of pain from her as he laid her on the floor, pressing her injured back to the concrete. But she was grateful for the pain. It kept her mind off what she knew was coming.

He knelt over her, and she could no longer pretend he wasn't there. She wasn't in any condition to fight him off, and she was unable even to try, paralyzed by fear. She closed her eyes, refusing to look at the man. Tears welled beneath her eyelids. She forced them back.

When he was finished, he left her lying on the floor as he pulled on his clothes. He then gathered her clothes from the floor.

"Think about what I've said." He turned and left her alone. Only then did she let herself cry.

xxxxxxxxx

"How was your night? Did you sleep well? No?"

Tasha didn't say a word. She'd discovered another feature of the cell shortly after being left alone - just as she'd fallen asleep, it had delivered a painful shock to her body, forcing her back to wakefulness.

"Have you given further consideration to our conversation last night?"

"Is that what you call it?" She forced an iciness into her voice to mask her fear.

"What is the Captain's weakness?"

"I'll die before I tell you the time of day."

He began to signal the guards to leave, but stopped halfway. "No, wait. Why don't you join in the fun?"

xxxxxxxxx

With the schedule Jellico was keeping the engineering crew on, coupled together with the fact that he kept Data at his side nearly even more than he has been now that he'd relieved Will and promoted the android to first officer, Geordi had had no opportunity to speak to his friend since Beverly's return. So as soon as the Acting First Officer walked into engineering, Geordi knew he had to seize this chance.

"Data, do you have a minute?"

"I have several."

"Come help me a sec, would you?"

Data pressed a few buttons on the console he was working at and joined the chief engineer. "What do you require?"

"I need to know if there's anything _you_ require."

"You requested my presence, not the other way around."

"I'm not talking about work, Data. I'm talking about personal issues."

"You refer to my relationship with Tasha."

"Data, don't pretend you don't feel anything about this situation."

"On the contrary. I miss her - I miss her greatly. I do not pretend it is not so."

Geordi's hand slipped into Data's and gave it a comforting squeeze. "Captain's got me pretty tied up down here, I won't deny it, but if you need me, you know where to find me."

"There is something that puzzles me."

"Yeah?"

"My original reaction was based on the assumption that Tasha was dead. Now that I know the truth, I feel I should be reacting differently. But if anything, I miss her more now."

"Data, that's normal. At least if she was dead, you'd know exactly what had happened. You're worried about her, you know you'll probably never see her again, but you also know she's alive and in danger." He reached out and placed a hand on Data's shoulder. "We're all here for you, Data. Don't forget that."

xxxxxxxxx

She'd lost all sense of time. It could have been hours or days since the Cardassian Gul had last paid one of his visits. She hoped it would be a long while before that changed. The only thing worse than being alone in this dark room was being there with the Gul and whichever friends he chose to bring along to "experience" the human woman, as if she were some sort of toy. He'd said it was to get her to talk, but she'd seen his eyes, and she knew he took a twisted pleasure from these visits.

Her throat burned and her stomach ached - she hadn't been given food or water since her arrest, and the sensations were the only thing that told her it really had been a long time and not a few endless hours. Once or twice Dukat had brought his meals into her cell, trying to tempt her. As if that might succeed where the beatings and repeated rape had failed.

There was no part of her body that wasn't bruised or bloody, the result of which was that she was in pain at all times, no matter whether anyone else was there or not. She still hadn't been allowed to sleep either, the result of which, combined with her injuries, was that she was no match for even one Cardassian, let alone the groups Dukat brought in sometimes.

The door hissed open, and she pressed herself into a corner. It was indeed the Gul, accompanied by another Cardassian. "Well, what do you think?"

"You call that a prize?" the stranger laughed. "Looks more like a damaged dishrag."

"Looks aren't everything," he scolded, as if talking to a child. "Go on, Garak. Try her out."

"I prefer to conduct my business in private," the Cardassian named Garak said coldly.

"Very well. But try not to damage her. Remember, she's mine. You're just borrowing her."

The Gul left and the stranger approached her. She shrank away.

"Don't worry." His voice was a lot softer now. "I won't hurt you."

"We have different definitions of hurting," she hissed.

He shook his head. "I only told Dukat that to get him to leave. I have no intention of doing - _that_."

"Dukat?"

"Your friend." He said the last word sarcastically.

For the first time, she lifted her head and looked into his eyes. She saw none of the maliciousness she'd seen from Dukat and the others. She knew from stories that Cardassians could be deceptive, but her people-reading skills rarely failed her. Still, her mind flashed back to something Tom Paris, her history-obsessed friend, had told her about old Earth law enforcement. Many times, they would play out a routine in which one officer was bullying and another played the role of a sympathetic friend in order to coax information out of a suspect.

"I suppose you're going to ask me for information now?" She was painfully aware of her unclothed state, and she curled into herself tighter, hoping to preserve some amount of modesty.

He smiled. "It seems you've been well-taught in the art of suspicion. But no, I have no interest in information from you."

"Then why are you here?"

"Because I want information from Dukat. And going along with his plan seemed to be the easiest way to get it."

"Who are you?"

"Garak's the name, and I'm afraid I can't tell you more than that." He looked towards the door. "I don't have much more time." He stood and turned towards the door.

"Garak."

He stopped and turned back.

"Thank you."

He shook his head, not saying anything. Then he opened the door.

"It looks like you were quite correct," he said in a voice completely different from the one he'd been using with her. "I'm sure it'll be awhile, but if you ever get sick of her, I'd be happy to take her off your hands for you." Then he turned and left.

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What Dukat handed her was only a flimsy robe, but she pulled it on as soon as she was sure it wasn't rigged or something. She'd had nothing to protect her from the cold or the stares of men.

"All right, what's the catch?" Her voice was rough from lack of water, but she didn't intend to let him know how hard it was for her to talk.

"Now, now, now. You're to pay a visit to someone, and it won't do for you to be wandering about the corridors naked."

"Got tired of bringing people to me, so now you're bringing me to them?"

"Oh, this is a very special visit. I think you'll be pleased."

xxxxxxxxx

"Get up, human." Madred hauled Picard into a chair. "You have a visitor."

Picard didn't give Madred the satisfaction of reacting or even asking who. It didn't take long for him to figure it out anyway. Two guards dragged someone in. She was battered and covered in blood, but he recognized her instantly.

"Natasha," he whispered, shocked and horrified. He could tell instantly that she was in far worse shape even than he was. The guards released her, and he could see how much effort it was costing her to stay on her feet. He tried to get up, but a shock from Madred put a quick stop to that.

"So you see, Captain, you're not the only one suffering from your lack of cooperation."

"Don't tell him any-" Tasha managed to get out before Madred slapped her. In her condition, that caused her to sprawl across the ground. He then handed the remote control to one of the guards.

"If he tries to get up, explain why that's a bad idea." He knelt over Tasha. "And now for you. I understand you've been quite an entertainment for Dukat and his friends. He's given me permission to see for myself." He caressed her face, and she shuddered. "And your Captain can watch - I've always preferred an audience." He turned back to Picard. "And if you miss something, human, I can always do a repeat performance."

Picard watched silently, not daring to look away lest he cause the young woman more suffering than she was already going through. Tears streamed silently down his face. He wondered if the Cardassians knew about her childhood, knew that, as bad as this would be for anyone, it was so much worse for her. Not that he really thought they cared. He could see her struggle not to let her emotions show.

When Madred had finished, he threw her robe at her, ordering her to dress. She did, clutching the robe to herself as if it might shield her from further attacks.

"Take her out of here."

Tasha was dragged away, and Madred turned to Picard. "I wasn't the first, and I doubt I'll be the last. You could save her, you know. How many lights?"

He nearly said five. He couldn't help but remember the terror he'd seen in her face, and the thought of that alone made him want to say anything, do anything to get her free. But then he remembered her cry, her plea to him not to tell the Gul anything.

"Four." And the pain that raced through his body was nothing compared to the pain in his heart.

**So I start and end with a cliffhanger! Hehe I'm evil.**

**Please review.**


	31. Chapter ThirtyOne: The Aftermath

**Big Doors**

**Disclaimer: **If you recognize it, it's not mine. This is an AU story.

_**Chapter Thirty-One: The Aftermath**_

She lay motionless on the floor, too weak and exhausted and in too much pain to move, shivering from the cold. She'd been beaten and raped repeatedly after the incident with the Captain, and she still hadn't been allowed food, water, or sleep. She didn't even have the strength to react when the door banged open.

A Cardassian Gul she didn't recognize threw her a set of clothes. "Get dressed."

For once, she was glad to do as he said. When she was done, he signaled to two guards, who took her by the arms and dragged her through the hall.

They took her through a door and pushed her forward. Unbalanced and unable to stand anyway, she pitched forward, falling on her face. She heard footsteps but couldn't muster the energy to look up at whoever it was. She felt the figure kneel down next to her. A hand touched her hair and she shuddered, praying it would be over soon.

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"Mr. Worf, prepare to detonate," Jellico ordered. On the viewscreen, Gul Lemec visibly panicked.

"I will agree to your terms!"

"Excellent. Oh, and one more thing. I understand you're holding a Starfleet officer named Jean-Luc Picard. I expect him returned. Immediately."

"Correction, Captain," Data said, with such precision that anyone who didn't know him would have really believed he was just clinically correcting an error, "you are holding two Starfleet officers. And I believe that we expect the return of both of them."

Jellico was taken aback, but he couldn't really disagree with Data, so he just nodded. "Yes. I expect the return of both."

"Send one of your shuttles to follow us. We'll lead them to the planet and send their fellow officers home with them." Lemec clearly realized he was in no position to argue.

"Will, Geordi, take a runabout and follow the ship."

"Aye, sir." They responded in such perfect unison it might have been planned.

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Will allowed his Captain to walk onto the shuttle unassisted, knowing he needed to keep his dignity as long as the Cardassians could see him. The moment he was out of sight, Picard stumbled, grabbing hold of his former first officer's shirt.

"Easy. Let's get you into the back."

Instead of sitting down once they reached the back, Picard stumbled over to the replicator. "Water. Cold." He grabbed the glass almost before it had fully materialized and downed it quickly.

"Sit down," Will insisted. "If you need anything else, I'll get it for you."

"Natasha," he demanded urgently. "Where is she?"

"The Cardassians agreed to release both of you. She'll be here soon. Now please, _sit down_."

Picard finally obliged, slumping onto one of the bunks. "Would it be too much trouble to ask you to bring me a sandwich?" It wasn't just that he knew Will would be upset if he tried to stand again. Now that he was sitting, he didn't know that he could get up.

Will instantly replicated the requested item, along with a second glass of water. The Captain made short work of both. Nothing could have tasted better.

Will laid a hand on the older man's arm. "Why don't you lie down? Beverly will have my head if I don't get you to rest."

Picard didn't bother to argue. He was asleep within minutes. Will returned to the front of the ship. He started to ask a question, but was cut off when the shuttlebay doors opened. Two guards walked in, dragging a third figure. They shoved her forward, and she tumbled to the deck.

Geordi was out the door before Will registered he was moving. He dropped to his knees, trying not to be sick at the sight of all the blood. He reached out, putting a gentle hand on her hair. She shuddered at his touch.

"Tasha?" He tried to keep his voice steady. "Tasha, it's me."

xxxxxxxxx

"Tasha?"

The voice sent a shock through Tasha. She knew it, but she'd never thought she'd hear it again. She must be hallucinating.

"Tasha, it's me."

With an extreme effort, she turned her head. If it was a hallucination, it was the most real one she'd ever seen.

"Geordi?" she forced the word through her parched, swollen throat.

He nodded, trying not to cry. He could feel her trembling. "My God, what have they done to you?" He gently rolled her over and lifted her into his arms. Her injured body screamed at being handled, however carefully. But it felt so good to be in his arms, to feel a gentle touch for the first time in what seemed like forever. She mustered the strength to wrap her arms around his neck.

"Shh, it's going to be okay," he whispered. "We're taking you back to the ship." He carried her into the shuttle and laid her in the unoccupied bunk. She barely felt the slight motion of the shuttle taking off.

Even the normally uncomfortable bunk felt like heaven, but it couldn't comfort her for long, as everything that was wrong with her demanded her attention at once. Her throat was burning. She forced out one more painful word. "Water."

Geordi sprinted to the replicator and returned to her side in almost no time at all, tipping a glass into her lips. She sucked desperately at the cool, wonderful liquid, drinking until there wasn't a drop left in the cup. He brought her another, and she drank that one just as fast.

"You hungry?" he asked gently. He'd felt how thin and light she was when he was carrying her.

She nodded. Just the mention of her hunger caused her stomach to contract painfully.

"I'll get you some food." He replicated a bowl of soup and hurried it over. It quickly became clear that she was in no condition to hold the spoon, and so he fed her, one spoonful at a time. She was too hungry to be embarrassed. As soon as she was finished, her eyes began to slip shut.

"Sleep. You're exhausted."

"Stay with me?"

"I'll stay," he promised.

Tasha released her last, tenuous hold on consciousness and allowed blissful oblivion to envelop her. Geordi saw her relax as she went to a place her pain couldn't follow. He grabbed the medkit and pulled out a tricorder. He almost burst into tears when he saw the list of her injuries. He couldn't even imagine how much pain she must be in. He continued scanning, watching the tricorder. Then he saw something even more horrifying than the rest. He swallowed back his nausea and checked the tricorder, praying he'd read it wrong.

He hadn't. The tricorder didn't speculate as to the cause of the damage, but Geordi knew. Tears filled his eyes behind the VISOR. No wonder she'd flinched when he'd touched her.

"It's okay, you're safe now." He gently stroked her hair. He wasn't sure if she could hear him or feel his hand, but he wanted to comfort her in any way he could. She was like his sister, and the idea that someone had hurt her that way made him sick. No longer able to hold back his reaction, he leaped to his feet and darted into the runabout's bathroom, where he promptly brought up everything in his stomach.

"Keep it together, keep it together," he mumbled to himself as he finished. He knew he couldn't be like this for long. Tasha needed him to be strong for her. He rinsed his mouth and returned to her side, sitting on the bunk and pulling her into his lap. If she was aware of the outside world, he wanted her to know she wasn't alone.

xxxxxxxxx

"Captain, request to be relieved of duty."

Jellico barely spared his first officer a glance. "For what reason?"

"A matter of personal importance, sir."

"Denied."

"Sir?"

"Mr. Data, just because we got the upper hand on the Cardassians doesn't mean we're free and clear just yet. You don't need rest, therefore I need you at my side on the bridge when I'm there and in command when I'm not. Understand?"

"Yes, sir. But sir-"

"No buts, Mr. Data. Request denied, and that's final."

xxxxxxxxx

She was on a bed. That was the first thing she registered. She tried to remember how she'd gotten from the cold cell to the bed. Other odd elements presented themselves too. Her mouth was dry and her stomach was empty, but she was no longer desperately hungry or thirsty. Her body ached, but the sharp agony was gone. And she'd been asleep. That shouldn't have been possible.

Then, in a flash, she remembered the events of the last few minutes, or what seemed to be the last few minutes. She'd been rescued. She was safe. In all likelihood, she was on the _Enterprise_. She opened her eyes and started to sit up.

"Easy." Beverly. It was Beverly talking. "You're still not fully recovered."

"How long was I asleep?"

A hand helped to prop her into a sitting position, and the red-haired doctor's face moved into her field of vision. "Almost twenty hours. Captain Jellico made Geordi go back to work, though not without an argument."

"What's wrong with me? Why am I so tired?"

"You were severely sleep deprived. You were held for five days, during which time I suspect you were not allowed much rest."

"None." Then something else she'd said registered. "Five days?" It had felt more like five weeks.

Beverly seemed to know that without being told. "I'm sure it felt a lot longer. You were badly hurt." Her expression told Tasha that she knew about everything that had happened. "Do you need anything?"

"Could I have some water?"

Beverly handed her a cup. "Try to drink slowly."

It was hard, but she did.

"If you're up for it, Captain Picard wants to see you."

Tasha nodded. "All right."

The Captain was pale and too thin, though Tasha imagined she looked much the same. He sat down on the edge of her bed, trying and failing several times to speak.

"I'm so sorry," he said finally, brokenly. "The trap was meant for me, you never should have been there."

"Captain." She took his hand. "You didn't assign me to that mission. Starfleet did."

He just shook his head. Now she was comforting him, and while his own torture had been extreme, he couldn't even imagine what she'd gone through. He placed his free hand on her shoulder, lightly, giving her room to pull away. She didn't.

As carefully as he could, he wrapped her in his arms. She fell against him, clutching at his shirt. He could feel her trembling, and he knew that her calm exterior was a paper-thin facade. He held her, not trying to force the release of those emotions before she was ready but silently letting her know that if she was ready, he was there for her. He remembered something she'd said what seemed like a lifetime ago, that she had used to dream about having a father who would take care of her when she was hurting. He wanted to be that for her.

Tasha buried herself deeper into his arms, grateful for his gentleness after the days of rough treatment. He stroked her back, holding her like a child. She didn't cry; she wasn't ready to bring down that dam. But she let him take care of her.

xxxxxxxxx

Beverly Crusher released Tasha from Sickbay under strict orders to rest. Thus it came about that Tasha was sitting on the couch, reading, when the door slid open.

"Mother!"

Tasha dropped the PADD and opened her arms to her daughter. Instantly, Lal was embracing her.

"I thought I'd never see you again."

Tasha ran her fingers through her daughter's hair. It hung down past her shoulders; she had chosen to exercise a program Data had but had never used and grow out her hair.

"Dr. Crusher said you were injured."

"I was. But I'm all right." Silently, she was thankful for what Lal didn't know. She didn't need to expose her daughter to the reality of such horrors so soon.

"I love you, Mother."

"I love you too."

xxxxxxxxx

"Captain on the bridge," Jellico announced as Picard stepped out of the turbolift, closely trailed by Will Riker. "Welcome home, Jean-Luc."

"Thank you."

"Just the way you left it, maybe a little better. Computer, transfer all command codes to Captain Jean-Luc Picard. Voice authorization Jellico Alpha Three One."

"Transfer complete. USS _Enterprise_ now under command of Captain Jean-Luc Picard."

"I relieve you, sir."

"I stand relieved." Jellico turned to the others. "It's been a pleasure to serve with all of you."

He began to leave, but turned back when he heard Data's voice, making a by-now-familiar request.

"Request to be relieved of duty."

And though very little shocked Edward Jellico anymore, Picard's response did. "Consider yourself relieved of duty for the next 72 hours."

"Thank you, sir." Data hurried past Jellico into the turbolift. The Captain got in just in time to miss the closing doors. "Deck two."

"Deck seven" Jellico added as the lift started. "Mr. Data, I'm surprised at Captain Picard's compliance with your request."

"Captain Picard understands elements of the situation with which you are not familiar." After a moment's pause, he added, "sir."

The door slid open and Data exited the lift, leaving Jellico staring after him in amazement.

xxxxxxxxx

Even half-asleep, Tasha heard the bedroom door open. Her instincts taking over, she sat bolt upright, only to relax as soon as she realized who it was.

"Data!"

"I am sorry for the delay. Captain Jellico denied my requests to be relieved and I was forced to wait for Captain Picard's reinstatement." He sat down on the bed. "I have missed you."

"I missed you too."

Data placed a gentle kiss on her mouth, and his hands trailed down her back. He took hold of the hem of her shirt and began tugging it up, his fingers exploring what lay beneath as his mouth moved to her neck.

Tasha cried out and pulled back, retreating to the furthest corner of the bed and curling into a ball. Data was instantly on alert. "Did I injure you?"

She just shook her head, unable to speak. This was Data, she tried to remind herself. It was Data. He'd never hurt her.

"Please," she finally managed, "don't."

"Tasha? What is the matter? Before you left, you requested that I engage in intimacy with you upon your return. I did not realize your feelings had changed."

She tried to calm herself, even though she was inches from bursting into tears. "Data, what did Dr. Crusher tell you about my condition?"

"She said that you'd suffered severe physical trauma as well as malnutrition, dehydration, and sleep deprivation," he rattled off with the clinical precision that was typical of him. "Was her report incomplete?"

Tasha nodded, trying desperately to hold herself together. Data apparently noticed.

"Tasha, what is it?"

"I - they - I was -" Data offered her his hand, and she took it gratefully. "They - they raped me, Data." She crumpled forward. "I'm sorry, Data. I'm sorry. I just can't do that now."

A look of understanding came over the android's face. "I am the one who should be apologizing. I did not mean to frighten you, and I will never ask you to do anything with which you are uncomfortable." He paused, trying to come up with more to say. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Hold me, Data. Please."

His arms were instantly around her, pressing her into his chest, rubbing her back in gentle circles. He rocked her gently in a slow, soothing rhythm. She could no longer keep even the slightest control on her emotions, and she began to cry, softly at first, then with long, shuddering sobs that shook her whole body. Data gently kissed the top of her head, not saying anything, just letting her cry herself out.

Tasha cried for over an hour, and Data just held and rocked her. He knew there was nothing he could say to help her, and that all he could do was exactly what he was doing. He wished he could do more. He knew that merely being free of her tormentors wasn't enough; what they'd done would stay with her for the rest of her life. She still woke up shaking sometimes from nightmares about the rape gangs she'd encountered as a child.

He remembered once, in his position aboard the _Trieste_, hearing a comment that had somewhat puzzled him.

"_Ironic, isn't it_," someone had said, "_that the worst wounds a person can suffer are the ones that no medical technology can heal. Those are the wounds that stick with someone forever._"

Data hadn't understood, at the time. "_The chances of a person surviving a wound of that nature are quite minor._"

She had given him a somewhat disgusted look. "_You just don't get it, do you_?"

He got it now. He got it.

**Only one review for Chapter Thirty? I mean, I know I'm updating fast, but come on! Review. Please.**


	32. Chapter ThirtyTwo: The Station

**Big Doors**

**Disclaimer: **If you recognize it, it's not mine. This is an AU story.

_**Chapter Thirty-Two: The Station  
**_

"So, what's the plan?" Will asked.

"Well, the Cardassians have turned space station Terok Nor over to the Federation - it's to be renamed Deep Space Nine," Picard explained. "Starfleet is sending an officer to take over the station, but we need to start on cleanup and repairs, as well as security; there are a lot of civilians on the station, and with the Cardassians gone, some may see it as an opportunity to loot and steal. Our goal is to prevent that until the Commander gets here. Additionally, you all should be aware that Chief O'Brien will be leaving the _Enterprise_ to assume the position of Chief of Operations."

This news was met by several groans by friends of Miles and Keiko.

"Anything more? No? Dismissed!"

He signaled to Tasha, and she stayed behind. "Captain, what can I do for you?"

"I'd never presume to even try to tell you to stay off this mission. But please, just take it easy. Lieutenant Worf is as competent an officer as you, and he can take over if you become fatigued. That's an order, Commander."

She nodded, knowing he was trying to give her a way out of overtaxing herself without making her feel weak. "Aye, sir."

xxxxxxxxx

They were greeted at the transporter pad by a disgruntled Bajoran woman. "Major Kira Nerys. Bajoran militia," she told them curtly.

"Captain Jean-Luc Picard, of the Federation Starship _Enterprise._ My first officer, Commander William Riker, and my Head of Security, Lieutenant Commander Natasha Yar."

The Major offered only a nod in response.

"What's the condition of the station?"

"Frankly, Captain, it's a mess. Cardassians trashed the place before they left."

"Chief O'Brien should be aboard in a few minutes, he's just moving the last of his and his family's belongings off the ship. And we've got a few other officers for you."

"I'm sure we could use the help," she admitted grudgingly.

"Major," Tasha said from behind Picard, "if I may?"

"Yes?"

"Station reports say you already have a chief of security onboard, a member of your own forces. I'd like to help with security as long as I'm aboard but I don't want to go stepping on any toes. Would he be available to discuss the matter?"

The Major appeared to be studying her for a moment before replying. "Odo's office is on the upper deck of the Promenade. I'll tell him you're coming."

"Thank you, Major." She nodded politely. "If you'll excuse me?"

"Report back when the meeting is concluded."

"Aye, sir."

xxxxxxxxx

The security officer looked a bit put out. "I hope we can make this brief. I'm busy."

"Understood. I just wanted to do what's needed without getting in your way."

"We've had a lot of break-ins, looting, and the like. It'll surprise you how people behave when things aren't going well."

"I doubt that seriously. Not the looting and such," she added at his look, "but that I'll be surprised by it. There's very little about the human condition that surprises me anymore."

He gave her another strange look but let the remark slide. "Well, here's what'll have to be done..."

xxxxxxxxx

"This place is going to turn into a ghost town," Tasha remarked to Miles O'Brien. "Even people who were planning to stay are panicking, worrying for their safety and their livelihoods. How are Keiko and Molly holding up?"

"I think Keiko's as worried for herself and Molly as these shopkeepers are for themselves and their own families. Molly's just upset because she can't be allowed to go out and play. I've been letting her play on the _Enterprise_ for now, but that's only a solution as long as the ship's around."

"I still can't understand what made you leave the _Enterprise_ for this piece of junk."

"The _Enterprise_ is a great ship. But it's Geordi's ship, and he's not going anywhere soon. I just wanted to be something more than a transporter operator, you know?"

"For what it's worth, you're a damned good transporter operator, and I'm sure you'll be a damned good operations officer too."

"I appreciate the vote of confidence."

"Anytime."

xxxxxxxxx

Tasha had been on her way back to the _Enterprise _to take a much-needed break, but she was instantly on alert when she heard shouting, followed by a phaser shot. She barely beat out Quark, the resident troublemaker, in approaching the group, which consisted of Major Kira, Security Chief Odo, a young Ferengi, another alien, and an unknown human in a Starfleet uniform.

"What's going on over here?" she demanded.

"Break-in," Odo responded shortly. Tasha almost smiled. The fact that he'd bothered to respond at all spoke to the tenuous alliance they'd managed to form.

"Nog? What's going on?" Quark finally got in.

"The boy's in a lot of trouble," Odo growled.

"Commander, my name is Quark. I used to run the local gambling establishment. This is my brother's boy. Surely you can see that he only has a peripheral involvement in all this. We're scheduled to depart tomorrow. If we could be permitted to take him, I promise you he will be severely..."

"That won't be possible," the commander replied, and Tasha instantly felt a sense of familiarity with the man's voice. "Take him to the brig."

Station security took Nog, and Quark stomped off.

"Quark probably sent the two of them here to steal the ore samples in the first place," Kira grumbled.

"Major," the Commander explained, "there's a Ferengi legal tradition. It's called plea bargaining. I might let the boy go, but I want something in exchange from Mister Quark. Something very important."

"Commander, this is the _Enterprise_ chief of security..." Odo began, but the Commander cut him off as soon as he saw her.

"Tasha Yar. You're about the last person I expected to see here."

Tasha's face broke into a broad smile, possibly her first since Celtris III, as she recognized the man. "Likewise. Last I heard, you were at Utopia Planitia."

"I was. Starfleet decided I needed a promotion. And what about you? Weren't you first officer?"

"Temporarily filling the role. I decided to take my old position back rather than leave the _Enterprise_. I got to keep my promotion, though."

"O'Brien to Sisko." Miles' voice came through the comm.

"Go ahead."

"Sir, the Enterprise hailed us again. Captain Picard is waiting to see you."

"Acknowledged. This won't take long." He headed for the turbolift, and Tasha followed him.

"I'll walk with you." She tried not to show how fatigued she was, but Ben noticed anyway.

"Hey. You all right?"

"Long shift is all. Ops," she added to the turbolift, which began to move. "Look, do me a favor. Don't give Captain Picard a hard time."

"Tasha-"

"Please, Ben. Just don't." She knew, despite his attempts to hide it, that Picard was still recovering from his own ordeal with the Cardassians as much as she was. "Look, I know Captain Picard. I've known him for almost six years, and I can tell you with absolute certainty that he would never have done the things Locutus did. He's not the same person."

The doors opened, and both of them stepped out onto the main deck. "Well," Ben said finally, "I can't promise to be more than civil, but I won't bite. Okay?"

She smiled. "Okay."

They stepped onto the transporter pad, materializing on the _Enterprise. _"So, how's your son?"

"I don't think he's thrilled with the move. He hates the fact that everything's so run down, and that he can't be allowed to wander around."

"It's probably a smart precaution. Bridge," she ordered the lift.

"Yes, well, just because it's a smart precaution doesn't mean the kid's going to like it. That's something like rule three of parenting."

"What are rules one and two?"

"Rule one: the kid comes first." He saw Tasha nod. "And rule two: you're in charge." He grinned. "It sort of leads into rule three."

"I suppose it does at that." They stepped onto the bridge, and Tasha rang for entrance into the ready room.

"Come in."

"Commander Sisko, sir. And I wanted to let you know, I've left Lieutenant Worf in charge of my division for the remainder of the shift."

Much to Ben's surprise, Picard only nodded. "Thank you, Commander."

xxxxxxxxx

Tasha turned from her conversation with Data when she saw Will enter with a lieutenant in a science uniform. That he was accompanied by a woman wasn't unusual in itself; it was Will Riker, after all. What was unusual was that Tasha was positive she'd never seen this woman before. One of the station personnel, maybe? There was definitely something vaguely familiar about her.

"Hey, Will!" she called out. "You going to introduce us to your friend?"

Will came over to their table, the woman trailing behind.

"Data, Tasha, Lieutenant Jadzia Dax. Jadzia, Commander Data, Commander Tasha Yar."

"Dax?" The name definitely rang a bell, and Tasha realized where she'd seen the woman's spots before. "Are you by any chance related to the former Captain Dax of the _Livingston_?"

"One and the same, more or less." She smiled at Tasha's look of confusion. "I'm a Trill."

"She latched on to me as soon as she saw me. Apparently, I'm something of a revered figure on their world." Will looked insufferably pleased about this fact.

"I remember you now," she said quietly. "And I'd like to apologize on my predecessor's behalf. He was a great captain, but not the world's greatest people person."

"You talk like your predecessor is a different person from you."

"He is, sort of. Trill symbionts don't overwhelm the host's personality. It's a joining. It was different with Commander Riker -"

"Call me Will."

"It was different with Will because of his not being a Trill. But the symbiosis is just that - a joining, a cooperation. So the host's personality, Jadzia's personality, melds with the memories and personality of the symbiont and therefore the past hosts. I'm not the same person I was before the joining, but I'm not the same person as Curzon Dax either, or any of my five other hosts for that matter. That's why we keep our own first names. If it helps, you can call me Jadzia. It'll help you remember the difference."

"So wait a second. You used to be Ben Sisko's commanding officer."

"Right."

"And now he's yours."

"That's how it works. Starfleet doesn't confer honorary rank on joined Trills - there are hardly any of us in Starfleet anyway. So I'm Lieutenant Dax now. Frankly, in some ways, it's a nice change not being in charge. And Curzon knew nothing about science." She indicated the blue on her uniform. "So I have to work my way back up through the ranks."

"Well, let's start at the beginning. It's nice to meet you, Dax - Jadzia."

She smiled. "It's nice to meet you too."

xxxxxxxxx

"He did _what_?"

A mere few hours after her meeting with the woman who had once been the man who had terrified her (Trill pronouns got confusing fast), they were already sharing giggles at the expense of mutual commanding officers, which had started almost as soon as Will and Data had left.

"Exactly what he said. The dancer -"

"I heard you the first time!" Tasha laughed. "Still, that doesn't begin to compare to Angel One."

"What happened on Angel One?" The brunette leaned forward curiously.

"Angel One is a strong matriarchal society. The men walk around in these scanty, sexual outfits. So in order to negotiate with them, the planet leader sent one of those outfits for him, and he _put it on_!"

"Seriously?" Jadzia squealed.

"Seriously! And he tried to be all professional about it, which just made it funnier."

Jadzia's whole face was red with laughter. "Then what?"

"Oh, it just gets better. At least he was fully clothed when we got to him next. Your turn."

"What. Oh. Well, this one has to do with Jennifer Sisko. And, in a way, with Ben's son. He thought it would be a romantic idea to take her out for a picnic. He didn't realize he was on a wildlife preserve, so the entire area was under surveillance..."

xxxxxxxxx

It was a few days later that things got rough. The discovery of the world's first (and possibly only) stable wormhole had reignited tensions in the sector. In hopes of settling things, Cardassian, Bajoran, and Federation representatives had agreed to a meeting on the _Enterprise. _Picard, as the closest thing in the sector to a resident diplomat, would represent the Federation, and Bajor had already sent representatives up from the planet. Cardassia's idea, however, had been to send someone familiar with the sector; specifically, the former prefect of Terok Nor.

Tasha went white when the Cardassian leader stepped off the turbolift. _Let it be a look-alike, please let it be a look-alike. _At that moment, he turned to her and recognized her just as she had him. He licked his lips, giving her a leering look.

She couldn't think. Couldn't even breathe. She could hear her heart pounding. The only thing in her mind was _he's here, how could he be here, he's here. _She had to run, but she couldn't move. Her knees buckled, plunging her towards the deck. She heard voices, shouting, but couldn't make them out. Someone grabbed her, and she tried to twist away, crashing into the tactical console. She fell to the ground, trying to rise but unable to do so.

She dimly heard the turbolift door open and saw blue in her field of vision. "What happened?" that was Beverly's voice.

"She just collapsed." Picard. His voice was tight with concern.

"Tell me, Captain, are these incidents common on your ship?"

She knew that voice, the voice of her tormentor. She tried to rise but her body would not obey her commands. She heard Beverly snap something, and then a more gentle remark - or was it a question? She felt arms around her, and she tried to struggle.

"I need to sedate her."

_No, what were they thinking, she'd be helpless, _he _was there!_

She felt something against her neck, heard a hiss, and then everything went black.

xxxxxxxxx

"Tasha? How do you feel?"

She blinked, trying to make sense of her surroundings. "Where am I?"

"The Captain's ready room."

She tried to sit up. "What am I doing here?"

"Don't try that just yet," Beverly admonished. "In answer to your question, it was the closest place. The Captain insisted."

"What happened to me?"

"You had a panic attack. A serious one. How do you feel?"

"I'm -" a glare from Beverly cut off the word _fine_. "I feel sort of shaky and tired."

"Not surprising. Just rest for now."

"How long have I been out?"

"Less than two hours."

"The negotiations?"

"Still in progress. Don't worry, I'll have you transported site-to-site." She'd clearly made the connection between the Cardassians and Tasha's reaction. "Now, I think there's someone who wants to see you."

She opened the door to admit the figure. "Data!"

He was instantly at her side. "Are you all right?"

"Dr. Crusher would probably object if I said yes. But no serious damage done."

"I'd better get back to Sickbay." Beverly's not-so-subtle exit left the pair alone.

"What happened, Tasha? What was the cause of this incident?"

"It was him, Data. Dukat. He was the one who was - in charge of me." Tasha prayed he'd understand.

He apparently did, because she found herself wrapped in his arms. "There is no cause for fear, Tasha. As long as he is on the ship, I will remain with you, and even a Cardassian cannot win a fight against me. I will protect you."

"Oh, Data. You're so sweet."

The first time she'd said this, he'd been perplexed, but now he understood the turn of phrase and had even come up with a response. "Anyone less would not deserve you."

"Proving my point," she said affectionately, snuggling into his shoulder. "What on earth did I do to deserve _you_?"

"I could give you a long list, but I do not believe that is what you are seeking."

"I love you, Data."

"And if I could love," he replied, "I would love you."

He had never told her that before. "Really?"

"I am certain of it."

**I know this chapter was kinda random but I was trying to cover everything that happened in "Emissary", touching on Ben and Tasha's aforementioned friendship, the Dax factor, and Tasha's reaction to Gul Dukat (who had a prominent role in DS9).**

**What happened with the dancer? I have no clue. The dancer Ben met on Pelios Station is a sort of gag on DS9, with an alternate-future character mentioning the incident before being abruptly cut off. It's never explained.**

**The description of Tasha's panic attack was mostly based on ScarletLycan's excellent _Porcelain Masks _which can be found on my Favorite Stories page. Highly recommend it for anyone familiar with TOS.**

**Next up is "Birthright" and I know some people have expressed anticipation for that! Will also bring back another recent guest character.**

**Please review. Anyone who's reviewed in the past knows I'll respond if it's signed.**


	33. Chapter ThirtyThree: Returns

**Big Doors**

**Disclaimer: **If you recognize it, it's not mine. This is an AU story.

_**Chapter Thirty-Three: Returns**_

Two and a half months later, they were back at the station, this time to help with the aqueduct system. And there appeared to be some sort of security breach; at any rate, someone was draining power from sickbay.

But whatever Tasha was expecting to find, the eager, mid-twenties doctor wasn't it. She relaxed instantly as Data approached him. "Excuse me. Do you have authorization to work in this area?"

"Come in, come in. I need a hand with this field generator. See if you can boost the power output to sixty-five percent."

"I am sorry, but use of sickbay equipment is limited to ship's medical personnel."  
"Ah. Doctor Julian Bashir, Chief Medical officer, Deep Space Nine. And you are, Commander?"

"Data."

"Commander Data. The synthetic lifeform."

"Yes."

"It's an honor to meet you, sir. I've heard so much about you. You must have a fascinating perspective into bio-cybernetic research. I'd be delighted if we could discuss the subject sometime." He hadn't seemed to realize there was even anyone else in the room.

"I would be happy to do so. However, I must ask you to stop your experiment."

"Ah, yes. I realize I should have asked before using your sickbay, but it would've taken me days to analyze this device with the computer I have on Deep Space Nine."

"What type of device is this?" Data's wariness seemed to have given way to curiosity.

"It was discovered in the Gamma Quadrant. I think it must be some sort of medical instrument."

"It appears to employ plasma inputs."

"I'm hoping it's a medical scanner. I wanted to use your computer to find out how it works."

"I suggest we take it to Engineering and run a complete circuit-pathway diagnostic."

"Splendid. I must admit, Commander I didn't think you'd be so personable."

Tasha cleared her throat, drawing the attention of both men. "If that's all, I'll tell Commander Riker there's no problem here."

"Ah, Commander. I'm sorry, I didn't see you there."

"I got that impression."

"And you are?"

"Tasha Yar, chief of security." She smiled. "I'll leave the three of you alone."

xxxxxxxxx

"Are you okay?"

"I am well. At least, my diagnostics say I am well."

"What's wrong?"

"While I was offline, I saw a strange thing. Dr. Bashir suggested that it might have been - a dream. But to my knowledge, I am not capable of dreaming."

"Maybe it's a new development. You were programmed with the ability to develop, weren't you?"

"I was."

"Then maybe that's what's happened. What did you dream about?"

"It was strange. I was in a corridor, following a noise, and then I saw my father. Are human dreams so nonsensical?"

"Often, yes."

"Does one often see electric sheep in these dreams?"

"Excuse me?"

"On three separate occasions, when I mentioned the program, people asked me if electric sheep had been a part of my vision. Why would this assumption be made?"

Tasha was laughing so hard tears were streaming down her face. "Look up Phillip K. Dick sometime."

"What relevance does that hold?"

"You'll see, Data. You'll see."

xxxxxxxxx

"How's the station been getting along?" Tasha asked.

"Hmm, let's see." Jadzia smiled. "We've been attacked by a Bajoran terrorist, nearly had our Chief of Security convicted of murder, had the entire station infected with a virus causing aphasia, handled a race of hunters, and been paid a visit by a rather annoying entity."

"Oh, don't tell me..."

"An entity called Q. You familiar with him?"

"Are we ever. Captain Picard is his favorite subject."

"Oh, dear." Her lips twitched.

"His only redeeming quality is that he's true to his debts. He saved my daughter once."

"Your daughter?"

"Data's daughter, another android. I call her my daughter. He owed Data a debt, which he paid back by saving Lal."

"I'd like to meet her."

"I'll try to track her down before we leave the station." She noticed something out of the corner of her eye and frowned. "I thought there weren't any Cardassians left on the station."

"What?" She followed Tasha's gaze. "Oh. That's just Garak, the tailor. He was exiled from Cardassia, so he stays here. At least, that's his story. We suspect he's spying."

"Wouldn't surprise me." Then something else caught her attention. "Wait, what did you say his name was?"

"Garak. Why?"

"Oh, just wondering."

"Ops to Dax. We need you up here."

"Oops." She giggled. "Duty calls. I'll see you later."

"Yeah, okay." Tasha was following Garak with her eyes as he walked into his shop. Now she knew where to find him.

xxxxxxxxx

"What can I do for you, Commander?"

"You are Garak?" Now that she'd gotten up the courage to visit his shop, she realized she had no clue what to say.

"Of course. Now, what may I do for you? A dress? An alteration to that uniform?"

"I - I just wanted to talk to you."

"To me? Now, what could you possibly have to talk to me about?"

"We've met before, Mr. Garak."

"Have we?" He studied her face. "Yes, you do look familiar. Where was it? The station? Cardassia Prime?"

"Celtris Three."

Garak's eyes widened. "Please, come in."

Tasha stepped in and the door slid shut.

"My dear Commander, I didn't recognize you."

"Not surprising."

"I asked after you, you know. Dukat told me he'd gotten rid of you. Wouldn't say what that meant."

"He was ordered to release me, actually. And I'm sure he was embarrassed about it."

"But I am glad for you. From the first moment I saw you, I knew you were an interesting woman."

"And I knew you were unusual."

"Oh?"

"You were the only Cardassian I met who treated me as a person, and not a body. Now it could be that I ran up against a bunch of unusual Cardassians, and you were the only one. But I highly doubt that."

Garak said nothing, just stared at her.

"I spent five days locked up in that place. The one and only ray of hope I found was you; your kindness, and your compassion. I just wanted to say thank you. For everything."

She turned and left, leaving Garak still staring after her.

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"Can I dream?"

Tasha looked into her daughter's dark, earnest eyes. "I don't know."

"I want to dream."

"I know."

"But if Father did not know about the program, he could not have installed it in you."

"What about your use of verbal contractions?"

Lal said nothing.

"Or your emotions? Both of those were never programmed into you. They just happened. Maybe the dreams will happen the same way."

"You think so?"

"It's a definite possibility."

xxxxxxxxx

"What is that?" Lal asked, indicating the box that had mysteriously appeared in their quarters while they'd been away.

"I don't know." Tasha was equally puzzled.

"I will open it," Data insisted. "There is a possibility that it is dangerous."

"Dangerous?" Lal asked incredulously.

"We don't know who's been on and off the ship," Tasha pointed out. "He's right. Go on, then. Open it."

Data pried the lid off the package, and Tasha had half-expected it to blow up. It didn't. He withdrew something in a shade of medium blue.

"What is it?" Tasha asked, bewildered.

"It appears to be a garment of some sort." He shook it out. What it actually was was a calf-length dress. It was subtle but beautiful.

"It would appear to be your size," he told Tasha.

"Where did it come from?"

"I do not know."

"There is something else." Lal lifted a small data PADD from the bottom of the box.

"What does it say?"

Lal glanced at it "It says 'Thank you. PS, I think I got the size right.' It's not signed."

"That's okay," Tasha said softly. "I think I know where it came from."

**Two favorite guest characters! I hope people are pleased.**

**Please review.**


	34. Chapter ThirtyFour: Downward Spiral

**Big Doors**

**Disclaimer: **If you recognize it, it's not mine. This is an AU story.

_**Chapter Thirty-Four: Downward Spiral**_

It had been almost eight months since Celtris Three, and Tasha was well on the way to recovery. She still hadn't gotten to the point where she could make use of Data's "functionality", but he had been understanding, and she thought that sooner rather than later, she'd become ready. She hadn't been expecting to have her whole world pulled out from under her again.

She hadn't really been disturbed by Data's flash of anger. She knew better than anyone how close Data sometimes came to emotion. She'd had no way of knowing how far that was going to go. Now Data was missing, either a deserter or a hostage, and their only way to search was manually.

"Captain." Tasha intercepted Picard. "I wish to officially register my objection to a member of the team you've assigned to me."

"I anticipated this. I know you don't like the idea of Lal being down on the planet -"

"You're damned right."

"But she is the best person for the job. As an android, she knows how Data thinks, and she may be the only one who can move through the same terrain that he can. I've assigned her to you because I know you can protect her. And I've already cleared this with her."

Tasha laughed softly, humorlessly. "It's strange, you know. She's not even four years old, as we measure by calenders. And yet, she has enough intelligence that I can't just go around making decisions for her. All right, Captain, if she's agreed, she's agreed. I don't have the authority to counter that."

xxxxxxxxx

"Riker to Yar. Come in, please."

"I'm here. What is it?"

"We've lost contact with the Captain's team. You're closest to their last known position, I want you to go check it out."

"What are the coordinates?"

Will rattled them off, and Tasha turned back to her group. "All right. Lieutenant D'Sora, you and Lal keep going on the search pattern." She certainly wasn't taking Lal right to the place where someone had disappeared. "Lieutenant Barnaby, you're with me." She didn't like Barnaby much, but D'Sora was the most experienced officer besides herself, and if she couldn't be with Lal, she wanted Jenna to be. "Check in with me every two minutes. If I don't respond, call Commander Riker immediately."

"Aye, sir."

It didn't take them more than five minutes to come across trouble. The massive structure loomed in front of them.

"Yar to Riker."

No response.

"Combadges are dead," she said shortly. "Lieutenant, move out until you're in comm range and then call Commander Riker."

He nodded and began slowly walking back the way they had come, tapping his combadge every few seconds to check for range. Tasha, meanwhile crept up to the structure.

She saw first a familiar silhouette - dark hair, white skin, exactly the right height. He turned, and she could clearly see that the face was the same, and yet, somehow, it wasn't. Immediately, the last piece of the puzzle fell into place.

"Lore," she whispered to no one in particular. She turned, trying to run back towards Barnaby. Unfortunately, her skills, while far above average, had been honed while hiding from humans. She hadn't counted on the extremely keen senses of the Borg.

Three drones converged on her position, probably having been alerted non-verbally by one of their colleagues. One pointed a mechanized extension at her. "Drop your weapon."

Realizing she was overwhelmed, Tasha let her phaser hit the ground. The three drones marched her into the compound. She found herself face-to-face with Lore.

"So, it's you. The little security officer." She realized he was still angry about her discovering his deception last time. "Take her. Put her with the others."

xxxxxxxxx

"Captain, what's happening?"

"We're not exactly sure. Lore is manipulating Data, feeding him negative emotion."

"Manipulating him?"

"Data has allied himself with Lore." Deanna took up the story. "He's been saying all kinds of things, things that the Data we know would never say. He's resisted all our attempts to talk to him, and he genuinely believes us to have been conspiring against him for the past six years. Geordi saw a carrier wave that suggests Lore is transmitting to Data. The rest is, frankly, a lot of guesswork."

"Conspiring against him?"

"Using him. Making him our pawn."

"Maybe I can get through to him. What Data's shown towards me is closer to emotion than anything else."

"It can't hurt."

As if summoned, Data - distinguishable from Lore by the uniform he still wore - approached the cell and wordlessly grabbed Geordi by the arm.

"Data, where are you taking him?" Picard asked.

"That is not your concern."

"Data, wait. Let us talk to you."

"Data!" The android half-turned when he heard Tasha's voice. "Data, don't do this! This isn't you." Knowing she had his attention, she continued. "I've never used you, Data, never, and you know that. I love you."

He gave her a cold look. "I know that you claim to love me. But you're just like them. Lying to get your way." He dragged Geordi off.

Deanna silently put her arm around her friend. She knew that Tasha's relationship with Data meant the world to her, and knew how much his rejection hurt her.

xxxxxxxxx

"Data, don't do this. He's your friend." Tasha stood in front of Picard, giving him a few seconds to hide the device.

"I am not here for him. I am here for you."

Tasha glanced over at Picard; the device was out of sight. The android took her arm and pulled her through the halls into his lab.

"What experiment am I predisposed for?" she asked sarcastically.

"You are not here for an experiment. I intend to take from you what you took from me."

"What are you talking about?"

"For three years, you used me for your personal pleasure, taking what you wanted from me when you wanted it." He ripped Tasha's jacket off her. "Now I will return the favor." Her undershirt went the same way as her jacket.

"Data!" She tried in vain to fight him as he pressed her to the table. "Data, no, please, don't, no, Data, _please_!" She closed her eyes tightly so she wouldn't have to see him, see the man she loved more than anything hurt her this way. "Please, Data. Don't do this." She forced back a sob as his fingers probed the waistband of her pants. "Please."

She heard then a sound she had never heard before. Data gasped, as if in pain, and abruptly released her.

"No!" he cried out, falling to his knees. "No, no. What have I done?"

"Data?" Tasha sat up tentatively. "Data?"

He looked up at her, and she no longer saw any anger or hostility in his face. "Oh, Tasha, what have I done?" He got to his feet again, facing her. "I am so sorry, Tasha. So sorry." He unzipped his own jacket and wrapped it around her. "Captain Picard is correct. I have not been myself. But that is no excuse." He took a moment to collect himself. "We must go."

"Where?"

"Back to the cell to release the others, and then back to the ship. We must leave before Lore can find us."

"Too late." A sing-song voice came from the doorway. "I don't understand you, brother. Don't you want her?"

"Not in that way." He held her close, protectively. "I will never desire her enough to hurt her."

"Come with me. Both of you."

They found themselves separated, surrounded by Borg, and marched to the great hall. Lore stood in the middle and began to speak.

"I've asked many sacrifices of you. Sacrifices I knew were necessary in order to build a better future. I want you to know that I ask no more of you than I am prepared to give myself. I am willing to make the greatest sacrifice of all. My own dear brother." He aimed the phaser at Data, who was being restrained by drones. "Goodbye, Data. "

"No!" The voice echoed the deepest cry of Tasha's heart, but it didn't come from her. It was a familiar voice, though, and Tasha saw a Borg drone launch himself at Lore. A full-blown fight broke out. Lore fled and Data took off after him. Tasha then saw Will and Worf firing on the crowd and managed to make her way to them. She watched, speechless, as the battle played out, as Data came back, announcing that Lore had been deactivated.

xxxxxxxxx

"I'm glad you managed to reactivate Data's ethical program," Tasha told the Captain.

"That's just it, Commander. I never did."

"You didn't?"

"No. Whatever happened happened between Data and Lore. Maybe there was a malfunction on the carrier wave."

"Maybe." Tasha smiled to herself.

"Oh, and Natasha. You should be very proud of your daughter. As soon as she came back aboard the ship, she helped pick up the slack in sickbay while Dr. Crusher was occupied on the bridge. One or two more feats like that and I might have to award her an acting commission as I did for Wesley."

Tasha grinned broadly now. "Thank you, sir."

xxxxxxxxx

"What I do not understand is how I suddenly realized what I was doing was wrong. Perhaps it was a fail-safe of which I was not aware."

"I don't think that's it. Do you remember what you told me in the Captain's ready room after I had that panic attack?"

"I told you many things."

"Specifically, what you said about loving me if you could love. There's an old quote, Data, one I've never forgotten. 'The dark is generous, and it is patient, and it always wins—but in the heart of its strength lies weakness; one lone candle is enough to hold it back. Love is more powerful than a candle. Love can ignite the stars.' You love me, Data, in your own way. And that love is stronger than any hate Lore can funnel to you. And as long as you keep that love in the front of your mind, he can't hurt you."

She reached for him again, and this time he let her, bringing her in close to his chest. "Then my own feelings for you are stronger than the emotions that come from the chip. I am gratified."

"So am I, Data. So am I."

xxxxxxxxx

Tasha wasn't sure what had woken her. She woke often in the middle of the night with nightmares, but she was positive this wasn't the case. She heard a soft whimper and rolled over.

"Data!"

He started to wakefulness when she called to him. "Tasha?"

"Are you okay?"

"I believe - I have experienced my first nightmare."

"You want to talk about it?"

"It was about you." He lifted a hand to caress her face. "And Lore. He tried to make me hurt you, as I nearly did, and when I refused he did so himself and then killed you. And I could not stop him."

Tasha reached out to him. "Come here."

He all but threw himself at her, and she wrapped him in her arms. "It's okay, I'm here, I'm okay, you saved me."

"I do not enjoy these nightmares."

"No one does, Data." She ran her fingers gently through his hair. "No one does."

"When I am dreaming - it seems real."

"I know." She hugged him tighter. "Here, just hold onto me. It was just a dream, Data. Just a dream. It's not real."

"Tasha, will I have these nightmares often?"

"You'll have them sometimes, no question. But often? I doubt it. And if you do, we'll get through them together."

If only she'd known just how trying Data's dreams would turn out to be.

xxxxxxxxx

If Tasha had been anyone else, she would have screamed when the turbolift door opened. As it was, despite being somewhat jaded to violence, she was horrified by the sight of Data standing over an injured Deanna, holding a bloody instrument. He turned towards Will, raising the coil as if to attack his head.

"Data!" The two fought to restrain him, but Tasha's repeated shouts of his name finally got through to him and, much as he had just recently in Lore's stronghold, he suddenly came to himself, dropping the instrument. Tasha heard will yelling for medical, but her attention was focused on Data, who was standing motionless, the look on his face resembling horror.

xxxxxxxxx

"Data, what are you doing?" Tasha had entered her quarters to find Data organizing a few possessions into a bag.

"I am moving into another set of quarters."

"Why?"

"If I had another waking dream, I could injure you. Since I am the one with the problem, it would not seem right to ask you to move. Therefore, I am moving."

Tasha's first instinct was to ask him to stay, but she knew that if he injured her, however unintentionally, he'd never forgive himself. Instead she took him by the shoulders and kissed him.

"As soon as this is figured out, you get back in here. You understand me?"

"I understand you."

xxxxxxxxx

Tasha grinned at Data as the two of them finished off Deanna's culinary creation. He had come back to their shared quarters only the night before.

"Well, I don't know what Freud would say about you in this case," she said, "but I know what he'd say about me."

"And what is that?"

"That I have a subconscious desire to devour you." She smiled. "But I disagree with him."

"Yes, I am certain that -"

"It's not subconscious at all." She cut him off. "My conscious mind is quite aware of my desire to devour you." She brought her mouth up to meet Data's. "I want to taste you."

"Are you certain?" He had figured out Tasha's indirect, though hardly subtle, approach a long time ago.

"I'm certain," she whispered.

He put his arms around her waist and carried her to the bedroom, pausing just long enough to lock the door before he began to divest her of her clothing.

She fell asleep in his arms that night, and for the first time, he had the experience of, in a way, falling asleep with her. The nightmares did not return.

**I was going to make these separate but I really didn't have enough material with Phantasms for a full chapter. The next chapter is something I've been working on for awhile, which means it'll either be up in no time or it'll take me forever.**

**The quote "The dark is generous..." comes from the novelization of_ Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith._**

**I added in Picard's mention of Lal's actions after a reviewer pointed out that I'd left things hanging with her.  
**

**Please review.**


	35. Chapter ThirtyFive: Another Dark Page

**Big Doors**

**Disclaimer: **If you recognize it, it's not mine. This is an AU story.

_**Chapter Thirty-Five: Another Dark Page  
**_

"Deanna, are you all right?" Tasha knew the empath well enough to know something was wrong. "It's your mother, isn't it?"

"Yes. And no. I found out what's been bothering her."

"What is it, Deanna?"

"I -"

"Deanna, you're always telling us we need to talk. Turnabout's fair play. Talk to me."

"I - my mother told me I had a sister."

"What?"

"I had a sister. Her name was Kestra. She was six when I was born. A few months later, she fell into a river on a picnic. She didn't survive."

"Oh, Deanna. I'm so sorry."

"I just don't know what to do or think. I mean there's this whole part of my family that I never knew about."

Tasha hugged her friend tightly, but Deanna drew back almost as quickly. "Tasha, what is it?"

"What?"

"I feel pain from you. Unbearable pain. What's wrong?"

"It's nothing."

"I doubt that."

"I don't want to talk about it. Where's your mother?"

"Tasha, I think you need to -"

"Where's your mother?" she repeated, more forcefully.

"She's in her quarters. Why?"

"I need to talk to her."

"Tasha, I don't think -"

"I need to talk to her." Tasha turned and ran off, leaving Deanna staring after her.

xxxxxxxxx

Tasha could barely believe she was standing outside Lwaxana Troi's quarters, ringing for entry. She knew the woman despised her and as a result, she'd always kept her distance. But now she needed to talk to her, no matter how much the woman would be displeased to see her.

"Mrs. Troi?"

"Oh, it's you. What do you want?"

"I wanted to say I'm sorry for the loss of your daughter."

"And it was necessary to interrupt my rest to do this?"

"Look, I understand this is difficult, but I was trying to be kind and if you can't accept that -"

"You don't understand anything! You're nothing but a spoiled brat who's corrupted my daughter!"

"You think I don't understand? You think you're the only one who's ever lost someone you loved? You think no one else has ever been through what you have?" Her voice had risen considerably. "You really think I don't know what you're going through? You think no one else has ever lost a child?" She suddenly realized what she'd just said, and abruptly she broke off. "Never mind. Forget I said anything." She turned and ran from the room before Lwaxana could process what she'd just said.

xxxxxxxxx

It had taken Lwaxana quite awhile to figure out the strange changes in Tasha, but Deanna didn't get her people skills from thin air. Tasha had gotten angry - when she'd called her a brat? No, it had really been when she'd told her she didn't understand. Her entire rant had stressed Lwaxana thinking no one understood her. She'd stopped right after saying -

After asking whether Lwaxana thought she was the only one who had ever lost a child. Was it possible that - no, that couldn't be. She was seeing implications where none existed.

But she had felt pain. Deep, stabbing pain that she now realized wasn't her own. The only person close to her had been Tasha. And the pain had felt familiar. It was the same pain she felt for Kestra.

She had to know. "Computer, locate Tasha Yar."

"Tasha Yar is on Holodeck Two."

"Is there anyone else there?"

"Negative."

Good.

xxxxxxxxx

The scene on the holodeck was a snow-covered plain. It didn't take her long to find Tasha, who was sitting on a hill, knees drawn to her chest.

"Tasha?"

The woman's head turned suddenly, and Lwaxana saw her red eyes and tear-streaked face. Yes, something was definitely wrong.

"What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you." Those were possibly the first words she'd said to Tasha without hostility. "You're hurting." It wasn't a question.

Tasha only nodded.

"You've - you've lost a child too, haven't you?"

Tasha took so long in responding that Lwaxana almost thought she wouldn't reply at all. And when she did speak, it was barely a whisper. "Yes."

"Tell me."

Tasha just shook her head, and Lwaxana understood that she wasn't capable of speech. Reaching out, she formed a telepathic link with the other woman.

_"Tasha, are you okay?" Ishara stood worriedly near her sister._

_"I don't know. I've been sick for days. It's probably nothing, I always feel better by midday. Don't come too close though, I don't want you to catch it."_

_Two weeks later, Tasha and Ishara had a huge fight, and she was left alone. She was still sick, and for two months she didn't get better or worse. Then she started to notice the change in shape of her body. Her stomach was swelling oddly._

_It took her several days to realize what was happening. How long had it been since her last encounter with a rape gang? It had been about three months. Three months._

_Her hand moved down to rest on her stomach. Firm and rounded, just as her mother's had been in her vague memory. Her eyes widened._

_She could barely take care of herself! How could she expect to take care of a child? Her panic lasted for nearly three months, until one magical moment._

_She was lying down in her hideout, trying to sleep despite the increasing pains in her back, when she felt a strange sensation in her belly. It wasn't painful, not really. She felt it again, and her hand went down to her swollen stomach. She felt something move. The baby, she realized. Her baby was moving inside her._

_The pain of her loneliness faded in that moment, as did her worry. She wasn't alone. She had her baby, and she'd find a way to take care of it._

_Six weeks later found her being chased by the gangs. She couldn't run nearly as well as before; her only hope was in stealth. As she tried to slip around the side of the building, she tripped over the remains of a flight of stairs, landing face-first on the ground. She lay still until the gang moved on, and then stumbled back to her hideout._

_That night, the pains started. Sharp cramping in her belly, more painful than anything she'd ever felt. She bit her lip hard, forcing herself not to scream, and the pain abated. But it came back later, stronger. It happened the same way, coming and abating and then coming again, worse than before. Then she found herself suddenly deluged in fluid. She was scared now. She had no idea why this had happened. And the pains seemed to be coming closer together - or was that just her own perception?_

_She didn't sleep that night; the pains prevented that. Tears ran down her face, and her lip was bloody from biting it so hard. The next day was much the same, and she was grateful that no gangs came close. In this state, she could not have fought or run._

_Just as the sky became pink with the last remnants of sunlight, she felt, along with the pain a strong, overwhelming urge to push something from her body. She struggled to a sitting position, giving in to the urge. The pains got worse, and she buried her mouth in her hands, no longer able to hold back her screams. She pushed hard with every pain, and she felt the baby move inside her. All at once, she realized what was happening. She pushed again and once again felt the baby move, and again, and again. With another, louder cry of agony she pushed once more and felt part of the weight leave her body. One more push, and the baby slid out completely. Tasha heard a soft wail, and she scrambled to sit up, to take hold of the baby so it wouldn't have to lie on the ground._

_It was a girl. A tiny, perfect little girl, still connected to her by a cord. Tasha reached for her knife, slicing into the cord, removing the last link binding them. She hugged the child to her chest, and of her own accord, the child began wiggling, trying to crawl for her mother's breast. Tasha realized this and carefully lifted her closer, sliding her shirt out of the way. The child clamped on and began to suck, and Tasha felt a sense of peace such as she had not felt in some time._

_"What should I call you?"_

_Predictably, there was no response._

_Tasha thought back. She was named after her grandmother, her mother's mother. Ishara had been named after a friend of their father. Her mother's name - her father had called her Eva._

_"Your name," she whispered, "is Eva."_

_She took silence to imply consent._

_The baby, having eaten her fill, fell asleep, and her exhausted mother shortly followed suit._

_She woke, thinking at first that it had all been a dream. But it was no dream. Her body still ached, if anything it was worse than before. And in her arms was her tiny daughter. The thing that made all the pain worth it. As if on cue, a small wail came from her mouth._

_"You hungry?" Tasha lifted the baby to her breast. Instantly, she stopped crying and began to suck._

_"I love you." Eva was too young to understand or reply, but Tasha vowed that she would say those words to her daughter every single day._

_A few hours later, she could tell something was wrong. Eva was having trouble breathing, gasping for air. She was so small, smaller than Ishara had been when she was born. Was she too small? Tasha had no way of knowing._

_Tasha spent the rest of the day and the entire night trying to figure out what was wrong with Eva, but to no avail. Her breathing became more and more labored and her heartbeat continued to weaken._

_"No, Eva, no," she whispered helplessly. "You can't leave me, you can't! You can't!"_

_Eva's blue eyes, so like her own, grew dim, and the child's breathing slowed. Tasha clutched at her desperately as if she could somehow clutch at her baby's life. But it was no use. Just as the sun peaked in the sky, Eva ceased to breathe altogether._

_Tasha screamed in the way only a mourning mother could. She clutched the baby to her breast, sobs wracking her frame. For hours she sat there, unmoving, crying, in too much agony to think. Finally, well after sundown, she rose, knowing she had to do something with what was left of her child before someone defaced the body._

_She sneaked over to what remained of an old government building. She located a large, loose stone and removed it, exposing a hollow between the interior and exterior stones._

_She held Eva for a long moment, not wanting to let go of all that was left of her beloved baby. Tears still streamed down her face. Eva looked as though she might have been asleep, which made her next task all the more painful. She kissed the girl on the forehead._

_"I love you, Eva," she sobbed. "I love you so much. Mommy loves you, baby." Then, before she could lose her last shred of will, she slid the tiny body into the crevice and jammed the stone in where it had been._

_She started to turn away, but turned back just as quickly. She couldn't leave her child to be buried in an unmarked grave. She felt around the ground until she found a suitably pointy stone. Between the stone and her knife, she carved three letters into the stone: EVA. The only visible sign that her baby had ever existed. She didn't go back to the shelter that night. She stayed in the ruined building, stayed with her child._

_The next day, she woke up with a fever that didn't abate. She didn't want it to abate. She wanted it to get worse. She wanted to die. She had nothing to live for. She wanted to lie down and die there, next to her baby's grave, so they could be together in the whatever-it-was that came after death. But her stubborn will to live wouldn't give in so easily. Against her desires, she got better._

_One week later, she started using drugs. She had promised herself she never would, but she never could have predicted that she could ever hurt this much. The drugs promised relief, and she could no longer resist. The drug-induced haze was bliss. It made her forget, made her not care, and she needed that. There was nothing else left for her._

Lwaxana broke the link, looking upon the woman in front of her. Tasha was crying now harder than ever.

"I learned later that a human woman is supposed to carry for nine months," Tasha whispered faintly. "I only carried Eva for seven. And then I learned that the Federation had the technology to save premature babies, and it ripped that wound open all over again. And I - I just couldn't -"

"Come here." Lwaxana took the younger woman into her arms, holding her gently. "You don't have to talk about it anymore. Just cry. Cry it all out."

Tasha buried her face in Lwaxana's shoulder, too upset to really take into account who it was she was clinging to. Lwaxana held her tightly, the same way she might have held Deanna.

Fourteen years old. She'd been barely more than a child herself, and she'd gone through something that Lwaxana knew was like losing a piece of your own soul. Every negative impression she'd had of Tasha had crumbled to dust. No, Tasha's stoicism had been only a front, not unlike her own flamboyance, something to conceal that pain, her toughness the result of years of torture Lwaxana couldn't begin to imagine.

Soon enough, Tasha remembered where she was and who she was with, and she pulled away abruptly. "I'm sorry, I -"

"No, no, it's all right. Remember, I know how much this hurts." She kept her hands on Tasha's shoulders. "Does anyone else know?"

"Will - Commander Riker - found out by accident. And I told one person once - right here, actually." She indicated the snow-covered hill. "It was the first time it really hit me that Eva could have been saved if there'd been a Federation doctor there. I was staying there," she pointed to a house in the distance, "and I ran out here. I didn't want anyone to see me cry. But he followed me. He knew I was lying when I said it was nothing, and he wouldn't accept that I didn't want to talk about it, and I was too upset to make something up, so I told him."

"Your Mr. Data doesn't know?"

"No."

"Now I wouldn't presume to tell you how to handle your grief," she began kindly, "but before I - erased Kestra, one of the greatest comforts I took was from my husband, Ian. You love him, don't you?"

"With all my heart."

"And does he love you?"

"If you asked him, he'd say no, that he's incapable of love. But you didn't ask him, you asked me, and I believe he does, in his own way, love me."

"Tell him, Tasha. Take comfort from him."

xxxxxxxxx

Data became keenly aware of Tasha standing over him and looked up. "How long have you been standing there?"

"A few minutes. Data - I need to talk to you."

"Of course." Data had learned that when she said it in that manner, it meant she was prepared for a serious conversation. He stood up and joined her on the couch.

"Data -" she struggled for a place to begin and finally came up with one. "Do you remember the conversation we had after Romulus?"

"We had several, if I am not mistaken."

"Specifically, the one where I told you I can't have children. I didn't tell you why."

"I assumed you did not know."

"Well, I don't know for sure, but I suspect. After I found out, I looked up some of the possible causes." She knew she was leading the conversation away from where it eventually would go, but she needed to do it this way. "One of the causes, and the one I think is the case, is damage to the womb - caused by complications in childbirth." There. She'd said it.

"But you have never experienced childbirth - have you?"

"I have, Data." She hadn't thought she had any more tears left to cry, but as she told Data the one thing she'd kept even from him, she wept again. Data carefully scooped her into his lap as she talked, telling him everything Lwaxana had seen in the vision.

"And I think I owe you an apology," she finished.

"For what offense? I understand why you did not tell me."

"For what happened with Lal. When I called Q to save her, I wasn't thinking about you, I was thinking about me, about how I didn't want to go through that again."

"And yet, in doing so, you prevented me from 'going through that.'"

She stared at him. She hadn't thought of it that way before.

"I wish I could have done the same for you." His hands ran soothingly up and down her back. "Is there anything I can do now?"

"Hold me."

Lwaxana was right, Tasha thought. It was easier having Data there with her.

xxxxxxxxx

"Will, can I talk to you?"

"Sure. What about?"

"About - about what you told me last year. What you saw when you had the Q powers."

They had never discussed the issue, an unspoken but understood agreement. Will stared, uncomprehending, for a moment, and then realized what had changed. "So Deanna told you?"

Tasha nodded, taking the seat across from him.

"Did you tell her?"

"No. Not yet. I told Lwaxana, sort of by accident, and then I told Data. But Deanna knows something's up. I'll have to tell her eventually. I just don't know how. It was hard enough bringing up the subject with Data, and we're so close we can practically read each other's minds."

"And yet, Deanna will understand what you're going through. You haven't forgotten about Ian, have you?"

Tasha hadn't exactly forgotten, but the boy wasn't in the forefront of her mind anymore, and it hadn't occurred to her to relate the two situations, similar though they had been.

"I don't know, it seemed so different. Actually, at the time I was sort of envious of her."

"Envious? Why?"

"Even in those two days, she got to see her baby grow up, to hear her child say 'I love you' and call her Mommy, to play with him and know him. And then, in the end -" Tasha swallowed the lump in her throat, "in the end, when she said goodbye, he heard her. And he told her why."

"You mean she got to know why her child left her." He reached across the table and gripped her hands tightly. "Tasha, while I don't speak from personal experience, I'm sure every parent who's ever lost a child feels that way. I'm sure Lwaxana feels that way."

"You really think so?"

"I know so. Seriously, though, you should talk to Deanna."

"Now, you think?"

"Before you have a chance to second-guess yourself, I'd say."

"Computer." She swallowed hard and tried again. "Computer, locate Deanna Troi."

"Deanna Troi is in her office."

"Does she have an appointment now?"

"Negative."

Two minutes later, she was standing outside the office ringing the bell. A soft "come in" came from Deanna.

"Deanna, can I talk to you?"

"Sure. My next appointment's not for two hours. Is this about what you wouldn't tell me yesterday?"

"Yes. But Deanna - I need to talk to you as Deanna, not as Counselor Troi. Okay?"

"Okay. What is it?"

Tasha hadn't thought she had any tears left to cry after the previous day, but as she told her story for the second time in less than twenty hours, they streamed down her face again. Deanna almost never hugged her patients in counseling, but she made an exception for the sobbing woman in front of her. Tasha had asked to talk as a friend, and Deanna was only too happy to break that barrier.

"Is that why you've always been so attracted to children?" she asked once Tasha appeared to have calmed slightly.

"What?"

"You've always had an affinity for children, and I'm sure you know that as well as I do. You befriend every child we come across."

"When I'm around young children - it's both the most fulfilling and the most painful thing in the world. Fulfilling because for a few moments, I feel like I can fill at least part of that void."

"And painful," Deanna finished, "because you know you can't."

"Yes." Tasha sighed. "You know I can't stop this now. The whole ship will know before long."

"Not necessarily. Who knows now? Me, Data, my mother? They won't tell."

"Will. And while he won't tell either, someone probably heard us talking in Ten-Forward and put two and two together. We weren't as guarded as we might have been."

Deanna smiled slightly. "The rumor mill is the only thing in the galaxy that travels faster than Warp Ten."

"Indeed. I'm not looking forward to all the questions. So few people really understand. You do, and your mother does, but medical technology is so advanced and children so guarded from the dangers of the world that we're probably the only people on this ship who do."

"You can tell them as you want to, or never."

"Not necessarily. Look, I know the Captain's going to find out eventually, and I can't just ignore him. With his attitude towards children, I just don't know how I'm going to have that conversation."

"If and when the rumor mill becomes prevalent enough for that to become an issue, would you like me to tell him?"

"Would you?"

"Of course I will."

xxxxxxxxx

When the Captain asked her to come to his ready room, she was fairly sure she knew what it was about. It had been a week since she'd talked to Deanna, and two days since Lwaxana had left the ship. Tasha was sure she wasn't imagining the looks she was getting in the hallway - some sympathetic, others uncertain how to react. Her entire security team had become less argumentative and forthright than usual, walking on eggshells around her.

At least the senior staff had been less strange. Only Worf had actually posed the question straight, and had been remarkably sympathetic when he'd heard her answer. But he was also one of the few people onboard not determined to coddle her, and she was grateful for that. Geordi, not sure how to react, had asked Data about the truth of the matter, and the android's elusiveness had answered the question for him - if it had been false, he knew Data would have simply given him a firm no. He had expressed his sympathies, but he had also continued to treat her normally instead of tiptoeing around her. Beverly, it turned out, had been suspicious since she'd first examined Tasha's medical records but had been uncertain how to bring up the subject. Will had really been her lifeline; having known as long as he had, he wasn't making an adjustment as the others were.

The hardest part, really, had been having to tell Lal. Her daughter had at first felt betrayed by her mother's keeping secrets and hadn't been shy about expressing it, and that had been painful beyond words for Tasha, who had felt as though she was losing her living daughter just as she was coming to terms with the loss of her firstborn. However, Deanna, who had had recent experience being in Lal's position, had talked to her and gotten her to understand her mother's point of view. Lal had returned to her mother with expressions of sympathy and apologies for misunderstanding.

But now, Tasha knew she was dealing with the one discussion that could possibly rival that one for difficulty. She followed the Captain into his ready room, waiting for him to speak.

"I've just spoken to Counselor Troi regarding a rumor that's been prevalent in the past week. Now you know I'm not one to listen to rumors, but this one is particularly persistent. You do know what I'm talking about?"

She nodded.

"Counselor Troi told me what you told her, including your reasons for not sharing this yourself." He gently laid his hands on her shoulders. "I wanted to start by telling you that I am truly sorry for your loss."

"Thank you, Captain."

"As to the other matter, I won't deny the truth of your statement about my discomfort with children, but that does not mean I am unsympathetic to your pain. I can't even imagine how difficult this must be for you, and I won't try. But just because I have no connection to children doesn't mean I don't realize that other people do. And I do know that it's painful to lose a member of your family." He hugged her gently.

"I - I guess I wasn't being rational."

"That's entirely understandable. I didn't call you in here to criticize you, Natasha. I want to help you."

"You and everyone else, Captain. But thank you all the same."

"Is there anything you need?"

"What I need, Captain, is to be treated normally. I'm tired of everyone tiptoeing around me. I'm still the same person I was last week, last month."

"I understand." He gave her a small smile. "I felt the same way after the incident with the Borg. I knew that everyone looked at me and thought _'There's the Captain who was assimilated by the Borg.'_ And it drove me up the wall."

"I'm glad someone does."

"Natasha."

"Yes?"

"It'll get back to normal. Eventually."

**Thanks to konarciq for giving me the idea for this one! I just took it a step further from her story **_**So It Did Happen After All**_**.**

**I referenced this chapter's events three times previously: in Chapter Nine (very, very subtly) when Tasha was convinced she'd never be a good mother, in Chapter Twenty-Three when she first mentions her infertility, and in Chapter Twenty-Seven when Will mentions what he'd seen when he had the Q powers. It also came up once in **_**Perfectly Logical**_**. As for Tasha being able to have Sela in the alternate timeline, I'm taking the liberty of saying that the wartime climate would have influenced events to the point where the alternate Tasha was rescued from Turkana significantly earlier and so never became pregnant.**

**Just to be clear, Tasha's feelings about being pregnant and having her baby - namely, the sudden realization that she isn't alone - were not intended as sweeping statements or assumptions about pregnancy and fetal life one way or the other. It's her view and only her view, period.  
**

**Please review. Pretty please?**


	36. Chapter ThirtySix: Old Secrets

**Big Doors**

**Disclaimer: **If you recognize it, it's not mine. This is an AU story.

_**Chapter Thirty-Six: Old Secrets**_

Tasha liked the two scientists almost instantly. She'd worked with many, many civilians who thought they were better than the _Enterprise _crew, or were extremely picky and demanding. Pran Tainer was an easygoing man, and his wife Juliana reminded Tasha of nothing so much as a cross between Kate Pulaski and her adopted 'aunt' Julia Paris. She did notice, however, that the woman was shooting odd looks at Data, but chose not to question it. His unusual appearance had drawn stares before, and she was gratified when the woman actually pulled Data aside to speak to him instead of gawking from a distance.

At least, she had been. But it looked like there might be more going on here. Data looked, for lack of a better word, disconcerted as he sat across from the woman in Ten-Forward.

"Mind if I join you, Doctor?"

Juliana looked up. "Not at all. Data?"

"No."

Tasha pulled up another chair. "What are you two talking about? Something tells me it's not the magma situation."

"That something is correct. According to Dr. Tainer, she was once Juliana Soong, wife of Dr. Noonian Soong. And they were married at the time of my creation."

"And yet, I cannot remember her."

"Oh, there's a reason for that. We wiped your processors after we finished refining your programming. Why don't you tell me what you do remember, and then I'll fill in the gaps."

"My memory record begins when I was activated by the Starfleet officers on the Omicron Theta outpost."

"After the attack of the Crystalline Entity."

"Yes. All of the inhabitants of the colony were killed. However, I discovered that my memory banks contained the contents of their journals and logs."

"We hoped their experiences would be useful. After your childhood, we figured you could use all the help you could get."

"My childhood?"

That's what I called it. You were like a baby, at first. A hundred kilogram baby, but still. You had trouble learning your motor skills, learning how to process sensory information."

Tasha laughed, drawing the attention of both of them. "What's so funny?" Juliana asked.

"Oh, nothing. It's just I know what you mean. I'll explain later."

"Well, of course Noonian was never satisfied. He kept tinkering, trying to make you as human as possible."

"So you wiped my memory processors after this childhood."

"Then we deactivated you and programmed you with the colonists' logs. We had planned to reactivate you, but we never got the chance. That's when the Crystalline Entity attacked. We had to leave quickly. We wanted to take you with us, but there was only room for two in the escape pod."

"Doctor, you say you were his mother."

"Well, yes."

"And yet, you left him behind."

"As I said -"

"Yes, I heard what you said. You should have made the room. I would have."

"Commander -"

"I would have," she repeated, more firmly. "I never would have left my child to die." She stood, almost overturning her chair. "Excuse me," she said coldly, before running from the room.

"What's wrong with her?"

"Doctor, Tasha was recently forced to come to terms with the painful loss of her own child some years ago. She may be unable to look at this rationally. Doctor, I have scanned the journals of the colonists. There is only one Juliana mentioned in them. Her last name was O'Donnell."

"That's me."

"But there was no mention that my father was married to you."

"Because of my mother. She thought that Noonian was an eccentric scientist who was too old for me. We decided to marry secretly to give her a chance to get used to our being together. We slipped away to Mavala Four and got married there. A Klingon and a Corvallan trader were our witnesses. It wasn't exactly the wedding I'd hoped for. Somehow Noonian had a way of making even the oddest things seem romantic."

"My father did have an unusual way of looking at things."

"How would you know that?"

"I encountered him once in the Terlina system."

That's where we went to after we left the outpost. I had no idea that you'd even met him."

"He came aboard the _Enterprise _and remained for approximately two months until his death."

"He's dead?"

"Yes."

"I had no idea it would hit me this hard. We didn't exactly part on the best of terms."

"What do you mean?"

"I realized he loved his work as much as he loved me. Maybe more. There we were, stuck on this planet in the middle of the jungle with no one else to talk to. No life. It just wasn't enough. That's why I left. That was all a very, very long time ago. The important thing is that we're here now together. And I do want to get to know you."

"I would like to get to know you as well. And he did mention you to me, I believe, in the last conversation we had."

"Did he?"

"Not by name, but yes, he did."

xxxxxxxxx

"Hey, Tasha. Come here."

She looked over to see Geordi. "Yeah?"

"Come here, I want to tell you something since you weren't down in Engineering with us."

"What happened?"

"It was Dr. Tainer - the female Dr. Tainer. She was telling us some stuff about Data."

"I don't want to talk about her."

"Oh, come on. You'll like this. Well, she noticed Data saying thank you to me and mentioned she was relieved because they'd had problems programming those in. Then she said that was nothing compared to some of the other programming problems."

"Such as?" Tasha had a feeling the problem would be something she wouldn't forget for awhile.

"Well, you know as well as I do that Data doesn't suffer from the elements. So he, uh, didn't want to wear clothes."

"You're joking."

"Nope." Geordi laughed. "She said they actually had to invent a modesty subroutine." He grinned evilly. "Bet you wish they hadn't. Ow! What was that for?"

"You know damn well what that was for." But she was laughing despite herself.

xxxxxxxxx

"Did you paint these?" Juliana asked, noticing Data's collection of paintings.

"Yes. I am attempting to master all known styles of painting."

"This one's your friend Tasha, isn't it? Who's that with her?"

"That is Lal, my daughter."

"Your daughter?"

"I created her, using myself as a model and with a bit of assistance from an - odd acquaintance who owed me a favor."

"I doubt he could have been odder than Noonian."

"Quite a bit odder, if I may say so."

"I'd like to meet him."

"I do not believe that will be possible."

"Why not?"

"First of all, he is not - easy to contact. And second, Captain Picard dislikes him and would not be pleased if he appeared on - or anywhere near - the ship."

"Fair enough. Where is Lal now?"

"She remains aboard the _Enterprise. _However, she has been doing an internship of sorts in Sickbay, and since she, like me, requires no rest, she may remain for days at a time if she is in the middle of a project."

"And the third subject?"

"Spot. She is quite timid around strangers."

"Spot? Forgive me, but she doesn't really fit her name."

"Tasha's exact words were 'I'm never letting you name anything again.'" He did the last in a perfect imitation of her voice. Juliana laughed.

"Would you like to practice now?"

xxxxxxxxx

"I thought I'd find you here." Tasha's voice echoed through the silence of Ten-Forward.

"How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough. I like to hear you play."

Even as Juliana had teased Data about having a relationship with Deanna, even as she'd seen his portrait of her, it hadn't occurred to her that Tasha might actually be Data's girlfriend. But the way the woman looked at him was unmistakable.

"Have you seen Lal today? I know my mother was curious to meet her."

"In our quarters."

"Tasha - I know how you feel."

Tasha looked over at Juliana. "Do you?"

"Data told me what happened to you. Noonian and I lost several prototypes before Lore. There were three of them. They were like children to us. Losing them was very painful. When Noonian decided to try again, I was very much against it. I didn't think we had the right to bring a life into the world with so little chance of surviving. But your Father was sure that he'd figured out what went wrong, insisted he could make a stable matrix, and he did. His first attempt, though, was just _too_ childlike, created dozens of accidents and couldn't be taught otherwise. So Noonian tried again, and this time got the intelligence level up. But Lore was cruel. Evil. Eventually we had no choice, we had to dismantle him. Your father decided to build yet another android, one who didn't have emotions. I couldn't believe he would want to try again."

Despite herself, and despite the fact that she had just said she'd opposed Data's creation, Tasha felt her feelings towards the woman warming. She did know how hard it must have been.

"But I was wrong, I know that now. I've followed your progress for years. I'm very proud of what you've accomplished," Data continued.

"Then why did you never attempt to contact me?"

"Because I felt guilty about something I'd done."

Perhaps if you told me what has made you feel this way, it may alleviate the guilt."

"I lied." Juliana was close to tears. "When I said there was no room for you in the escape pod that we took from Omicron. There was. I didn't want to bring you with us. I was afraid if we reactivated you, you'd turn out like Lore. I made Noonian leave you behind."

Tasha was stunned. "You know, I was starting to forgive you for leaving Data behind. Now I see my original instincts were right after all."

"I know what I said to you must have been hard to hear, but I hope you understand my reasons."

"I am not certain I do," Data said, before Tasha could speak. "Perhaps you could clarify them for me?"

"Well, I'll try. What do you want to know?"

"If I had been your biological offspring, would you have left me on Omicron Theta?"

"Oh, Data, how can I answer that?"

"Dr. Tainer, I get the impression you are trying to spare my feelings. I assure you that is not necessary."

"I just don't want you to misunderstand my answer. No, I wouldn't have left you behind if you'd been my biological child."

Tasha bit her lip hard to keep herself from speaking. This was Data's problem, and she had to let Data deal with it.

"Is that because you place more value on biological life than on artificial life?"

"Absolutely not. I cherished every android your father and I created as if it were my child. Even Lore. Despite the fact that he turned on us, despite the dreadful things he did, dismantling him was the most difficult thing I ever had to do. I was afraid that if you turned out like him I would have to dismantle you, too. And I couldn't bear to do that. I'm not trying to justify leaving you behind. I'm just sorry I did. I hope you believe me."

"I do. Thank you for making it clear to me."

"I do too." Once again, Tasha found she couldn't help feeling for the woman. "You see, Eva - my baby - isn't, in a sense, my only child, and I'm not talking about Lal. And much as I hate it, there may come a day when I have to fight Sela, and it hurts me just to think about it. If I had another situation where I had to risk creating another Sela - I don't know that I would do differently." She took Juliana's hand. "I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions about you. And I would like to get to know you, and I'm not the only one."

xxxxxxxxx

"Did you paint this?"

"Yes. It's not as good as Father's."

"Maybe it is, just in a different way."

"What do you mean?"

"It's more abstract. Because he doesn't have emotions, your father doesn't really understand painting just for the sake of painting, making a painting that just sort of becomes whatever it becomes. Like this one."

"You like it?"

"Very much so, my dear."

"You're not just saying that?"

"Oh, no."

xxxxxxxxx

It was a nervous trio that stepped into the holodeck. No one knew quite what to say. Even though Data had suspected his mother's true nature, for him to actually see it had been surprising. For Tasha and Lal, who'd missed the incredibly subtle clues Data had picked up, it was nothing short of shocking. Juliana Tainer was an android.

An image of Noonian Soong as the young man they'd never known appeared. "Whoever you are, you must have found out about Juliana."

"That is correct."

"I programmed this hologram to answer any questions you might have. I am Noonian Soong. I created her."

"I am Data. This is my daughter, Lal, and my - my life companion, Tasha."

"Data? I hoped somehow it might be you. I even created a response program to answer your questions. How are you, boy?"

"I am fine."

"And such a lovely family you have! I'm glad you got the chance to meet your mother."

"You refer to Dr. Tainer as my mother, yet the complexity of her design indicates she was created after I was."

"You're right. But there was a real Juliana O'Donnell. She was my wife. She helped me create you."

"What happened to her?"

"She was injured when the Crystalline Entity attacked. We made it as far as Terlina Three, but she slipped into a coma. When I realized nothing could be done for her, I built an android. I tried to perfect my synaptic scanning technique so that I could transfer Juliana's memories into a positronic matrix. I didn't know if it would work, but I had to try. I couldn't stand the thought of losing the only woman I ever loved. A few days after Juliana died, I activated the android. She looked up at me and smiled. She recognized me. It had worked! Here was a life not two minutes old, and as far as she knew I was her husband. She'd just recovered from a terrible injury. It was incredible."

"Then you never told her the truth?"

"Why? There was no reason for her to know. I wanted her to be happy. I wanted _us_ to be happy. We were. For a while."

"What happened?"

"I made a terrible mistake. I never really let her know how much I loved her. So she left me. The real Juliana probably would have left too, if she'd lived."

"If she recovers and learns that she is an android -"

"She doesn't have to know. I designed her to shut down in the event the truth was discovered. When you put that chip back in, she will wake up and remember nothing. All you have to do is make up some excuse about what happened to her."

"Then you do not believe she should know the truth?"  
"Truth? The truth is, in every way that matters, she is Juliana Soong. I programmed her to terminate after a long life. Let her live out her days, and die believing she was human. Don't rob her of that, son. Please."

The program terminated, and the three of them stood there, motionless. Tasha spoke first.

"He's right, Data."

"To what do you refer?"

"Data, many, in fact almost all, races believe that a person's body is merely a shell, that what a person truly is comes from their mind, their consciousness, if you will. Juliana's consciousness is inside your father's android. In every way that matters, she _is_ Juliana. I agree with him. Don't deny her that."

xxxxxxxxx

Juliana hugged Data. "When will I see you again?"

"Perhaps I can visit Atrea on my next leave."

"I would like that very much. And bring Tasha and Lal with you. Well, I'd better be going."

"There is something I thought you should know. When my father told me about you, he said that he had only one great love in his life and that he regretted never telling her how much he cared for her. I am certain he was referring to you."

"That's nice to know. On Atrea there is a saying, that a child born from parents who love each other will have nothing but goodness in his heart. I guess that explains you. Take care of yourself, son."

"Goodbye, Mother. Energize."

Juliana disappeared, and Data turned to Tasha. "You were correct. It is best that she not know."

**Just a heads-up: this story has something like three chapters left to go, and **_**Perfectly Logical**_** has about eight or nine. So sorry to **_**Big Doors**_** readers but I'll be updating that one more frequently because it's my intention to post the last chapters of both stories and the first chapter of the mutual sequel all on the same day. I won't abandon you guys though!**

**I'm also looking for suggestions for sequel titles - if you have ideas, leave them in reviews! I have nothing in mind so the field's wide open.**

**Please review. I've been getting an average of two reviews a chapter and while that's not awful you were doing a lot better in earlier chapters!  
**


	37. Chapter ThirtySeven: MightHaveBeens

**Big Doors**

**Disclaimer: **If you recognize it, it's not mine. This is an AU story.

_**Chapter Thirty-Seven: Might-Have-Beens**_

Worf was more than a bit put out. If there was one think the Klingon hated, it was surprise parties. And as if that wasn't enough, he knew his immediate superior officer knew that, and she had promised to respect that.

He grumbled as much to a lieutenant in the room, who met him with a puzzled glance. "Uh, sir, is there something going on with the chain of command I should know about?"

"I do not understand."

"Sir, your immediate superior officer, as far as I know, is Commander Riker. I don't even know a Commander Yar. Is she a recent transfer? Is someone leaving?"

By now, Worf was extremely puzzled. Was this supposed to be a joke?

"Commander Yar, the Chief of Security. She's been the chief of security since the ship was launched."

"Sir, I don't know who she is, but you're the chief of security. Are you all right, sir? Is something wrong with your memory? Maybe you hit your head in the tournament."

"What?" Beverly was standing nearby and had heard the last bit. "What's wrong?"

"I believe the Lieutenant is playing a joke on me."

The man shook his head, looking a little scared. "Doctor, he's convinced he's not the Chief of Security."

She glanced over at Worf. Maybe _he _was the one playing the joke. "Okay, then. If you're not the Chief of Security, who is?"

He gave her a strange look. "Tasha, of course. Who else would it be?"

He'd expected her to laugh, to admit the trick at this point. But instead she got an angry look on her face. "Look, I don't know what you're trying to get with this joke, but that isn't funny _at all_."

"It was not intended to be."

"Then what was it?"

"A statement of fact, Doctor."

She looked now more concerned than angry. "Worf, I think you'd better come to Sickbay. You may have a concussion or you may have ingested something that's affecting your memory."

"My memory? What are you talking about, Doctor?"

Beverly all but dragged him into a separate room. "Look, I don't want to talk about this in public, but Worf - Tasha's dead."

Very few things could seriously affect the Klingon, but this did. "Dead? How?"

"You really don't remember, do you? She died on Vagra II almost six years ago."

"No. I remember that mission, but she did not die. She was nearly killed, but she was saved by Commander Data."

Beverly sighed. "The problem's worse than we thought. You're not just losing memories, you have false memories in place of the real ones. I'm not sure how that could happen."

"Hey, you two." Geordi poked his head through the door. "What are you doing out here?"

Worf suddenly felt dizzy and pitched forward. He was caught by Geordi and -

"Tasha."

"Yes?"

"You are here."

"Of course I am. Where else would I be?"

"I had a strange - I suppose it was a hallucination. In that hallucination, Dr. Crusher informed me you were dead."

"Ugh. Must have been some hallucination."

Worf looked around, and realize the three of them were alone. "What happened to everyone else?"

"Everyone else?" Tasha looked puzzled. "Data and Deanna are coming later."

"There was a large celebration in here before."

"Worf, we agreed on just the five of us." Geordi looked puzzled.

"Yes, we - wait, no. Five?"

"Yes, five. You, me, Tasha, Data, and Deanna."

"And Commander Riker."

The two officers exchanged a look. "Worf, are you sure you're feeling okay?" Tasha asked.

"Yes. Why?"

"Worf, Commander Riker's been dead for almost six years." Her blue eyes closed, Worf assumed to fight back tears.

Once again, the Klingon was stunned. But he realized one thing. "Six years. Did - did he by any chance die on Vagra II?"

"You do remember." Tasha opened her eyes again.

"No. But in my hallucination, when Dr. Crusher told me you had died, your death had occurred on Vagra II."

"No, Data saved me, remember?"

"That I do remember."

"But the entity dragged Will down into itself and killed him - you don't remember any of this, do you?"

"I do remember," he insisted. "It is just, I remember differently."

"Look, why don't I help you get to Sickbay?" Geordi reached out to take his arm, but again he felt dizzy and nearly collapsed. When he came to, he was standing in engineering next to Data. Geordi was standing across from him.

"Are you all right, Lieutenant?" Data queried.

"Yes - but why am I in Engineering?"

Data and Geordi shared a look. "Why wouldn't you be?"

"Last I remember, I was in my quarters."

Geordi and Data glanced at each other. The engineer spoke first. "Worf, you don't look so good. Maybe you should get to Sickbay."

"Yes, perhaps I should."

xxxxxxxxx

Two hours later, Worf was expressing further confusion to Deanna. "Doctor Crusher says I am experiencing further memory loss, but my instincts tell me it is more than that. I remember those imaging logs. I could tell you every detail, every word."

"Worf, let's assume for a second you're right, that things did happen as you remember them. Are you saying that everyone's memory on this ship has been altered but yours?"

The doorbell rang before Worf could answer, and Geordi stepped into the room. "Counselor." He gave her a nod. "Worf, I wanted you to know that we re-examined the imaging logs. They don't show a Cardassian ship or any evidence that the Array was reprogrammed. From what we can tell, the Array suffered a simple mechanical failure."

Worf shook his head again. He _remembered_ seeing an image of a Cardassian warship in the logs. "That is not right. I was certain that -" He suddenly became dizzy again, and then he was on the bridge.

"Now, Mr. Worf!" Picard yelled. "Now!"

"What are you waiting for?" Will asked as Worf stared at the unfamiliar console. "Raise the shields!"

"This panel configuration has been altered," he said helplessly. "I do not know how."

The ship shook from the force of weapons fire. The operations officer glanced down at his panel. "Direct hit. Engineering Section and deck forty two. Shield generators are overloading."

The ship rocked from another hit. Picard waved to Tasha, who jumped up without a word and all but knocked Worf out of the way. "Firing photon torpedoes. Full spread."

Direct hit on their main reactor," she said shortly. "They're returning fire. Captain, we have heavy damage to the deflector systems. Hull breaches on decks seventeen and thirty six."

"Ensign, take us out of here, maximum warp."

" Aye, sir." The pilot punched the engines.

"Are they pursuing us?"

"No, sir," Tasha replied in a tight voice.

"Bridge to Engineering. Mr. La Forge, what's your status?"

"This is Ensign Hayes, sir," the responding voice came back. "Commander La Forge has been taken to Sickbay with plasma burns. There's serious damage to the secondary plasma conduit but I think we've got it under control."

"Acknowledged. Ensign, lay in a course to Starbase 129."

"Aye, sir."

"What happened back there, Lieutenant?" he asked Worf sharply.

"I believe I experienced another memory loss."

Will gave him an odd look. "Memory loss? What are you talking about?"

Worf sighed. "I do not feel well. Request to be temporarily relieved of duty, sir."

"Granted."

"Captain -" Tasha began.

"Yes, go ahead."

She bolted for the turbolift so fast the door slammed in Worf's face.

xxxxxxxxx

"Doctor." Tasha nearly ran over Alyssa Ogawa in her haste to get into sickbay. "How is he?"

"It's not good, I'm afraid. He's been asking for you."

Nearly all of Geordi's body was covered in burns. She was afraid to touch him. She whispered his name through her tears.

"Tasha," he whispered back weakly.

"Now you hold on, you hear me? I need you to hold on."

"I'll try."

"Commander." Alyssa's voice was soft with sympathy. "There's nothing I can do. We're going to lose him."

"Tasha - call the Captain."

"Why?"

"I don't -" he gasped for air. "I don't have next month, Tasha. We have to do it now."

"I'll call him," Alyssa said from behind them. "Anyone else?"

"Worf and Deanna. And call Will too."

It was a still-perplexed Worf who walked into sickbay beside his newly-discovered wife. "What is happening here?"

"I don't know. Tasha?" Deanna could see that her friend was crying.

"He's dying, Deanna. Geordi's dying."

"I'm so sorry." She offered Tasha a hug. It was gratefully accepted.

"I've asked the Captain to come down here. If I have to lose him, I want to be married to him first."

She hurried back to his side, and Worf turned back to Deanna. "Married? Tasha and Commander La Forge?"

Remembering what Worf had told her about his memory loss, she turned to him. "They dated back on the _Victory_ and broke up just before they came on the _Enterprise_. After Maddox took and disassembled Data -"

"Maddox took Data?" Worf was dismayed.

"That didn't happen in your timeline?"

"No."

"Well in this timeline, Tasha and Geordi drew closer together and rekindled what they'd had. Two months ago, he asked her to marry him. They were planning a wedding for next month." A look of deep sorrow crossed her face. "Now there'll be no ceremony. But she still wants to be married to him."

The Captain arrived and took in the situation. "Is there nothing you can do?" he asked Alyssa in an undertone. She shook her head.

Through her tears, Tasha relayed her request, and he nodded gravely. Will, Worf, and Deanna stood by.

"Since the days of the first wooden sailing ships, all captains have enjoyed the - the privilege," he could not bring himself to say _the happy privilege_ "of joining together two people in the bonds of matrimony. Do you, Natasha Yar, accept this man as your husband, to love and cherish above all others, until death separates you?" The last words nearly stuck in his throat.

"I do," she whispered through her tears.

"Do you, Geordi La Forge, accept this woman as your wife, to love and cherish her above all others, until death separates you? "

"I do."

"By the power invested in me by the United Federation of Planets, I pronounce you husband and wife."

Tasha leaned over and kissed him lightly. "Thank you, Captain. Now if you don't mind, we'd like to be alone."

The four other bridge officers came over with gentle goodbyes for their comrade and expressions of sympathy for his new, soon-to-be-widowed bride. Then they left the pair alone.

Geordi was too weak to talk, so Tasha did the talking. She told him everything she'd wanted to tell him for the past few years. She told him how much she loved him and she told him everything she'd wanted to do with him. And as his breathing slowed, she begged him to wait for her.

"I will," he gasped. "I'll wait forever. I love - love you so much. And if I see Data, I'll take him a message too."

This brought on a fresh flood of tears. Dear, sweet Geordi - he had never held it against her that she'd once been in love with his best friend. He'd never begrudged her a shoulder to cry on when she missed her first true love unbearably.

"Tell him I love him. And I miss him. And someday I'll see both of you again."

Geordi got a slight smile on his face, and then his whole body relaxed and Tasha knew he was gone. She clasped his hand to her chest and sobbed.

Worf reentered sickbay with a science officer to find his friend crying over the body of her husband. He was reluctant to even ask for what he needed, but if these jumps were ever going to end, he had to.

"I have experienced several - disconcerting events. I believe that, somehow, Commander La Forge may be connected to them."

The scientist scanned him. "No unusual readings," he said in an undertone, trying not to bother Tasha. "Energy residuals from the plasma burns, the beginnings of cellular decomposition. I see nothing that connects these bio-readings to your recent sense of discontinuity."

"What about his VISOR?" Alyssa asked.

"I still see nothing unusual. Perhaps we should activate it."

"Hook it up to the diagnostic array and I'll check it out." Alyssa carefully removed the item from the bedside table, giving Tasha a light squeeze on the shoulder. They hooked it up to the array.

"It's active," the science officer reported, but the words were barely out before he became dizzy, and then he was in Engineering, standing next to -

"Data!"

But it wasn't Data as he knew him. The man's skin was darker, his eyes were blue -

"You are human."

"You've shifted again," the once-android noted. "You look surprised to see me."

"In the last reality I was in, you had been disassembled by Maddox."

"Who?"

Worf was confused for a moment, then it dawned on him. "How long have you been human?"

"Six years. Ever since Commander Riker was granted the Q powers."

"He accepted Q's offer."

"No. When you refused your gift, he decided to stay. But he allowed Tasha, Geordi, and me to keep our gifts. What happened in your timeline?"

"I was not the only one to refuse the offer. You and Commander La Forge -" he realized his mistake when Data's face fell "did as well."

"We did think about it. But then he granted Tasha's wish, and she wouldn't have dreamed of denying it, and her enthusiasm was contagious."

"What was her wish?" Worf asked, though he suspected he knew.

"Her baby. Exactly as she had been at her death, except healthy. You do know about this?"

"I became aware recently. So, do you have any theories on what is happening?" Tasha's lost child wasn't a commonly discussed subject on Worf's native _Enterprise_, and it made him uncomfortable. Data seemed to notice.

"We've theorized that it's linked to Geordi's VISOR. Although he hasn't used it in years, we've kept it in Engineering as a sort of sensor device. At this point, that's all we know." He took a deep breath, as if swallowing back tears. "Now, here's where I want to start..."

xxxxxxxxx

Tasha's eyes were definitely red, but she was more composed than she'd been in the past timeline, for which Worf was grateful. He hadn't exactly known how to cope with a breakdown from a woman who was normally so strong.

"Are you a new Worf, or the same one I was talking to before?"

"A new one. May I ask you something?"

"Yes?"

"Am I still married to Deanna in this timeline?"

"Yes."

"And you? Are you married?"

She nodded. "Five years now. Even before that, we lived together. Listen, there's one thing I need from you. If you run into Eva, don't tell her anything about where she came from or how she got here. As far as she's concerned, she's Data's and my daughter. I'll tell her sometime, when she's old enough to understand."

"I will not tell her."

"Thank you, Worf."

xxxxxxxxx

Fortunately, Data and Will's solution had worked. Worf had sealed the rift that had been causing his strange jumps, and no one else even had any memory of the incident. He'd filed a report but kept most of the details private. However, it had planted one idea.

"Deanna," he asked, "will you join me on the Holodeck tomorrow?"

**This chapter is based on the episode **_**Parallels.**_** I hope everyone liked the alternate realities; they were both fun and difficult. I wanted to write a scene with Eva in it but just couldn't get it right.**

**Please review.**


	38. Chapter ThirtyEight: Burdens of Command

**Big Doors**

**Disclaimer: **If you recognize it, it's not mine. This is an AU story.

_**Chapter Thirty-Eight: Burdens of Command**_

"Will, we need to talk. Now."

"Since when are you the senior officer?" he asked testily.

"Oh, screw ranks for a minute. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I don't -"

"And don't give me that. You know damned well what I'm talking about. You've been acting funny ever since Pressman came on board, and now this business with the mutiny -"

"How do you know about that?"

"I'm in charge of Security, Will. Do you really think the Captain wouldn't share something like this with me?"

"Look, I can't tell you, okay?"

"Why not?"

"Orders."

Tasha sighed and took a breath. "Will, do you remember the incident we had with those little robots? The ones Data was sure were sentient?"

"Now that you mention it, I do. But what does that have to do with this?"

"I deliberately disobeyed your orders."

"I remember that."

"And later, when I apologized, you told me it's better to be insubordinate for the right reasons than loyal for the wrong ones. Whatever Pressman's up to, whatever he was covering up all those years ago, you know it's wrong or you wouldn't be so torn up over it. What is it, Will?"

He wavered a little. "Tasha, if I tell you, I'll be putting you in the same position I'm in. You'll be trapped between orders and what your mind tells you. If, knowing that, you still want me to tell you -"

"I do."

"The _Pegasus_ was testing an experimental prototype for a Federation interphasic cloaking device."

"_What_?"

"Yeah, you heard right. The crew mutinied to try and shut it down, and if I hadn't been so naive I'd have joined them. He's going to go continue this cover-up, maybe even try to keep working on the device, in which case the _Enterprise_ could go the same way as the _Pegasus_."

"My God."

"Yeah."

"Will, what are we going to do?"

"I suppose I was hoping you could tell me.

"Me?"

"Tactical's your area of expertise, Tasha, not mine. You're the one trained to solve these kinds of problems. Besides, I think Pressman likes you."

"What?"

"He sees in you what I used to be - an officer with total loyalty."

"He doesn't know me very well."

"No." Will smiled. "That's just your surface image. But if he thinks you're on his side, if he thinks he can trust you -"

"He might let something slip. You're right. Right now, it's your word against Pressman's. I happen to believe you, and I think the Captain would too, but we have no evidence, and that's what we need if we're going to take action."

"Action?"

"I think it's time we staged a mutiny of our own."

"You're not serious?"

"Dead serious, Will. Although this will probably be the only mutiny in history where the Captain is on the side of the mutineers."

Will nodded. "Okay, first thing we need is a couple more conspirators. I don't want to mix the Captain up in this right away. Not until we've got a firmer support base.

"Agreed. It's Tuesday."

Will looked put off for a moment before he realized what she was saying. "Poker night."

"In other words, you, me, Worf, Beverly, Data, Geordi, and Deanna all in the same place, and it's not suspicious at all."

Will grinned. "Great. Anyone else we should fill in right off the bat?"

"I'll talk to Jenna D'Sora tomorrow - she's pretty much my unofficial my third-in-command in Security. She and Worf can decide who in Security needs to know what. If Beverly or Geordi want to tell members of their staff, that's fine, but for the most part information will be passed out on a need-to-know basis, preferably without telling more people than absolutely necessary. I'd like people to be prepared, but I don't necessarily want them to know that we're planning a massive rule violation. If nothing else, that way they can honestly say they didn't know what they were participating in."

"Understood."

xxxxxxxxx

Amidst good-natured groans by those who had decided to call Data's bluff only to find he wasn't bluffing at all, the group gathered the cards up and passed them to Tasha, whose turn it was to deal. She moved to shuffle, but then Will caught her eye and gave her a meaningful look. She nodded in understanding and set the deck down.

"That's not the traditional shuffling method," Geordi said, laughing.

"Yeah, I know. But there's something I - actually, Will and I - need to discuss with you guys."

"What's this about?" Deanna hardly needed her empathic abilities to tell it was bad. The tension could have been cut with a knife. The laughter stopped instantly.

"Before I start," Will prefaced, "I should warn all of you that what I'm about to say is classified, and I'm not supposed to be sharing it. By listening to this, you will become involved against the wishes of Starfleet. If you don't want to be a part of this, this is your chance to leave."

He waited a long moment. No one moved.

"Okay, you've warned us," Geordi said finally. "Now get on with it."

"It's about Pressman." Will quickly filled the group in on what he'd told Tasha earlier that day, to a chorus of dropped jaws. Even Data looked taken aback.

"Who else knows?" Beverly asked.

"No one, except whoever Pressman's got in his pocket among the higher-ups."

"You haven't told the Captain?" Geordi asked incredulously.

"Not yet."

"What are you planning?" Worf asked.

"At the moment, not much," Tasha admitted. "We know we need to take this ship back from Pressman, but as to how, that's open to debate."

"I think it's time we let the Captain in on this little revolt," Beverly said firmly. "It isn't fair to him or us to keep this going on behind his back."

"All right, I'll talk to him," Will agreed. "I got us into this mess."

"I'll go with you," Tasha insisted. "This conspiracy was my idea. Computer, locate Captain Picard."

"Captain Picard is in his ready room."

"Location of Admiral Pressman."

"Admiral Pressman is in his quarters."

Tasha and Will exchanged a glance and nodded. "We'll go. The rest of you sit tight."

xxxxxxxxx

Tasha stepped into the turbolift, taking note of Will Riker already standing in it. No words were spoken between them; none were needed. They both knew where they were, where the ship was. They knew this was it.

The last few days had been spent making plans as well as they could be made. The Captain had jumped on board as soon as he'd been told what Pressman was up to, and Jenna D'Sora hadn't even waited for Tasha to finish telling her before asking to be counted in. The Lieutenant had proved most helpful, making some discreet inquiries - in this case, her lack of an official leadership position had proved useful - and coming up with a list of eighteen security officers who could be trusted absolutely. From there, Tasha had organized the officers, telling them everything they needed to know but not adding extraneous detail, informing them that there was a threat but not telling them what that threat was or who was trying to bring it aboard. They were already in place. Tasha herself had spent the past few days trying to slip under Pressman's guard, and while he hadn't let slip the hoped-for morsels, he certainly didn't suspect involvement from her.

"You ready?" she whispered.

"As ready as I'll ever be," he whispered back. They gripped hands briefly, then stepped apart. By the time they arrived on the bridge, they were completely nonchalant, unruffled. At least outwardly.

They responded to the situation at first like good, obedient officers, waiting for precisely the right moment. At one point, when the Admiral's back was turned, she tapped a text message out on her comm panel, nodding in satisfaction when a message was sent in return.

The Admiral announced his intention to go over to the other ship with Will, insisting over Picard's objections that only the two of them go down there. They strode into the turbolift. The second they were gone, the bridge became a flurry of activity.

"They are progressing towards Transporter Room One," Data reported.

"Yar to Lieutenant D'Sora. Begin operation, Transporter Room One. I'll meet you there."

"Acknowledged."

"I'm going with you." Picard stood hurriedly. "You have the bridge, Mr. Data." The two of them stepped into the lift.

"Natasha," Picard began slowly, "I can take this from here."

"Captain?"

"You've been an invaluable help these past few days, but I can't ask you to risk your career over this. I can arrest the Admiral without your help. I'll order your security team to help so they have a reason."

"What about your career?"

"Natasha, I have friends in high places. People who would be willing to listen to my side of the story. You don't, and I can't guarantee that my protection would extend to you."

"I don't need it, Captain. I don't have time to explain, but I know with absolute certainty that at least one admiral will listen to what I have to say."

"Natasha -"

"Trust me. I'll explain later."

They stepped out of the turbolift and hurried towards the transporter room.

xxxxxxxxx

"Starfleet is hailing," Tasha reported quietly. They all knew what kind of trouble they were in.

They had sent Starfleet a report as soon as they'd had Pressman locked down safely, leaving out nothing. After a long, drawn-out debate amongst the main conspirators, it had been agreed that a group of three would be the first to speak to Starfleet - Picard as the ranking officer involved, Riker because of his involvement in the original incident and because in all likelihood the focus would end up on him anyway, and Tasha as the original mastermind of the operation. What happened with that trio would determine whether the rest of the crew would be brought up on charges.

"On screen."

"Captain Picard." The stern face of Admiral Blackwell came into view. "We've recieved your report."

"Yes, Admiral."

"I'd like you and your, ah, core compliment to beam over immediately."

"Yes, Admiral." He didn't bother to call Tasha or Will - they were already standing next to the turbolift.

Picard was separated from the other two, much as they had expected. What Tasha hadn't expected was exactly who was conducting their investigation.

"Commander Riker, I presume?" If the older man had noticed his companion, he didn't say anything.

"Yes, sir. And this is our Chief of Security, Lieutenant Commander Tasha Yar."

He started slightly, telling Tasha as clearly as if he'd spoken aloud that he hadn't seen her, but he gave no other indication that he'd ever met her.

"All right, let's start from the beginning. Your Captain's report says that you two were the original instigators of this incident, at least you were the ones to inform him. Is that so?"

"Yes, sir," Will answered.

"It was more me than him, Admiral," Tasha interjected hurriedly. "He was a major participant, but this whole thing was my idea."

For the first time, he got a look in his eye that hinted at the fact that he did, after all, know her. "Very well, then _you _tell me what happened."

"Well, it really starts with Pressman coming aboard..." Tasha told him how the Admiral had conducted himself with extreme secrecy from the first, Will chiming in occasionally to fill in the pieces Tasha hadn't been privy to. She told him how she'd badgered Will to tell her the Admiral's secret, and how he'd finally given in.

"Just a moment," Paris broke in, "but what exactly was this secret?"

Tasha and Picard had agreed not to make any mention of the cloaking device on their subspace report in case the Romulans - or anyone else - were eavesdropping on the line. They had referred only to a threat the Admiral sought to bring aboard. Now the two glanced at each other, silently trying to work out who would tell. Finally, Will spoke up.

"A prototype interphasic cloaking device."

"Please tell me you're joking."

"Believe me, I wish I were."

"And that's why you arrested Pressman."

"Yes, sir."

Paris sat silent for a few long moments. "I'd like to believe you, really. But you have to realize how far-fetched this sounds."

"We do have proof, Admiral," Tasha said softly.

"What sort of proof? According to your report, the _Pegasus_ was destroyed and nothing was removed from the ship and brought aboard the _Enterprise_.

"Uh, not exactly, sir." Tasha indicated the report. "Read it again."

"Several people beamed back and forth between the ships, however no items were transferred aboard the _Enterprise. _The _Enterprise_ then fired a full spread of photon torpedoes. The _Pegasus_ appeared completely destroyed." He looked up. "So?"

"_Appeared_ destroyed, sir. Not _was_ destroyed. _Appeared_ destroyed."

Paris sighed and shook his head, though Tasha swore she saw a glimmer of a smile. "All right, why don't you tell me what you've got up your sleeve now?"

"Well, Admiral, we were there, beside the asteroid the ship was buried in. We knew the Romulans were coming, and we couldn't let them get their hands on this technology."

_The senior staff assembled in the observation lounge all looked at each other nervously. No one knew what to say._

_"We should destroy it," Worf said firmly. _

_"Normally I'd agree," Tasha said softly. "But that's all the evidence we have."_

_"Evidence?" Picard frowned._

_"Evidence of why we did what we did, and evidence of what happened to the people on that ship. They deserve to have the world know how they died."_

_"What exactly do you recommend?" Picard frowned. "We can't leave it here for the Romulans to find."_

_"I have a thought, but it's a little out there."_

_"Let's hear it." Will was eager for a third option._

_"Well, how did it get lost in the first place?"_

_"It cloaked," Will replied automatically. "At the same time, something exploded. It was presumed destroyed."_

_"Will, do you think that with the help of an Engineering team you could get the cloak operational again?"_

_"Probably. What are you getting at?"_

_"Remember that war drill we had in the __Braslota System?"_

_"It seems like a lifetime ago," Will sighed. "Yeah, I remember."_

_"Here's what I propose. We tie the _Pegasus'_ helm into the _Enterprise_ so we can operate it remotely, and we hook the cloak up to a remote control system too. Once we're set, we fire a spread at the _Pegasus_. Using the same sort of timing we did in the war drill, we cloak the ship. The asteroid will shatter, and it'll look like the _Pegasus_ was destroyed. Then we steer it along with us until we're out of this immediate area. After that - Will, is there a way to modify the device to bring the ship back into normal space without dropping the cloak?"_

_"I think so," Will replied, starting to get excited._

_"Then before we go to warp, we phase the _Pegasus_ back into normal space, lock on a tractor beam -"_

_"And tow her back to Earth," Picard finished. "Can it be done?"_

_"I think Data will need to operate the cloak's controls, with timing this precise. But if we do that, then I'd say yes sir."_

_"Then let's make it so_."

"So where is she now?" Paris asked.

"Right under the _Enterprise_'s saucer section," Tasha replied with just a hint of smugness. "It worked exactly like we planned."

"If you can show that to us, I think that would be sufficient to get the charges dropped against Picard, yourselves, and your crew, and to bring significant charges against Pressman."

"If you go aboard the _Enterprise_, Data can decloak it for you. We left all the codes with him so no one else can get them. I don't even know them."

"Thank you, Commander. And I must say, it was a bit of ingenuity on your part to pull off that little stunt." There was no doubt about it, he was definitely smiling now. "Dismissed."

"Admiral, may I say something else?"

He gave her a nod. "Go ahead."

"Sir, your recent actions have shown us that you have a strong dislike, almost a hatred, of people who cover up the truth - at least I hope that's what they've shown us. I would hope that this extends to everyone, including Pressman."

"That's hitting below the belt."

"Is it?" she let the question hanging in the air for a long moment before continuing. "You always said you didn't play favorites. If that's true, it ought to work both ways." Then she left.

"What was that all about?" Will asked.

"Admiral Paris recently got a bit of attention for disowning his own son over a cover-up incident."

"You're not serious?"

"I wish I weren't. It wasn't really as bad as all that, just a mistake. The Admiral made it out to be a lot worse than it was - he was always really hard on Tom. I just pointed out that he couldn't come down that hard on Tom and then let Pressman off for a worse offense without coming off as a hypocrite."

"You were walking a fine line there, you know. He is an Admiral."

"I wasn't worried."

"How could you not be worried? You really did hit below the belt a bit there."

"Will, can I let you in on a little secret?"

"Yeah, sure"

"We're related. The Admiral and I. He was my mother's cousin."

Whatever Will had been expecting, it wasn't that. His jaw nearly hit the floor. "You're joking." He got another look at her face. "You're not joking."

"Nope."

"How long have you known?"

"A few years, actually. Found out when we were on Earth after Wolf 359. Tom and I were friends from our Academy days, and I knew his family. He dragged me up to visit them, and this older woman starts going crazy, throwing a fit about me looking like her daughter. So I asked, and he told me what happened to the woman's daughter. It was just too similar to be a coincidence. DNA testing proved it."

"You never said anything."

"It never came up, and I didn't want to go around announcing it. It might have been different if it hadn't been an Admiral's family, but I felt like to go around broadcasting that would give the impression that I was asking for special treatment. And then it just sort of - _was_. It wasn't new and flashy anymore, something to announce. Like I said, it never came up. It doesn't bother you, does it?"

"Bother me? I think it's great!" He grinned. "I mean, not just that it's an Admiral's family and all, but also that it's _your_ family. I know that's what you've wanted for a long time. But are you seriously telling me _no one_ knows?"

"Admiral Paris, his wife, Tom and his sisters, my grandmother, my old mentor and his daughter, my oldest friend."

"No one else? Data?"

"Like I said, it never came up."

"I have a hard time believing that. Listen, nothing about being related to the Admiral changes what you've managed to accomplish in your past."

"What?"

"That's what you're worried about, isn't it? That being from a Starfleet family diminishes the amazing thing you've managed to accomplish. Tasha, it can't diminish it if you didn't even know about it at the time."

"No, I - I don't know."

"I don't know for sure either. But I do know _you_, and that's enough to make an educated guess. And here's another educated guess for you: _no one will care_. To us, you'll still be the same person you were yesterday."

xxxxxxxxx

The news was in within six hours. Upon discovery and inspection of the cloaking device, it had been determined that the crew of the _Enterprise_ had acted in accordance with the laws of the Federation and in the best interest of the ship and her compliment, and if their methods were unorthodox, their result was sound. They were cleared of all charges, and on top of that, Pressman was being held pending a trial of his own. Not that anyone had really expected anything different.

Tasha's news had been a bit more of a bombshell, but once they'd gotten over their shock, they'd responded much as Will had predicted they would. Worf had actually been quite impressed, and Tasha assumed she should have anticipated that - to a Klingon, family was second in importance only to honor. It didn't cause them to treat her any differently. Everything was well once again.

Unfortunately, it couldn't stay that way.

xxxxxxxxx

"Was there any actual organic matter in the wreckage?" Tasha asked firmly.

"No," Picard admitted, "but a blast of that power might not leave any."

"Or it could be a decoy."

"Yes. It could."

"In which case she could still be alive."

"Yes."

"And a prisoner of the Cardassians." Tasha tried and failed to keep a slight tremor out of her voice. "We can't just leave her there!"

"What do you suggest we do?"

This brought her up short and made the point she knew he'd been trying to make: she was thinking with her heart, not her head.

"I don't like it any more than you do. But we cannot risk igniting conflict over one ensign, however special she may have been to all of us."

"Then what can we do?"

"Hope. It's all anyone can do."

xxxxxxxxx

_Control yourself_, Tasha thought sharply. _Stop acting so silly._

Nevertheless, that wasn't easy to do when the planet was swarming with Cardassians. It was irrational, she knew, but the only Cardassian she'd ever been able to relax around for even a second was Garak.

The _Enterprise_ was caught up in one big mess. Their simple mission - evacuate Dorvan V, a former Federation planet ceded to the Cardassians in a recent truce - had been complicated by a random factor. The current inhabitants refused to leave. And as if that hadn't been bad enough, the Cardassians had shown up prior to their scheduled time, ruining any small steps Picard might have taken towards a compromise.

Personally, Tasha sided with the colonists. Though she had a great respect and admiration for most of what happened within the Federation, there were certain actions they took which baffled her. Unilaterally handing over inhabited planets in treaties and then ordering the occupants to leave was one of them. She was reminded of an incident four years ago - had it really been only four years? - where a group had created a beautiful colony, only to be ordered off when the planet had been ceded to another race, in that case the Sheliak. At least in that case, it hadn't been deliberate; the planet, when ceded, had been thought uninhabited. But this, this knowingly ceding an inhabited colony, was, to her, detestable. But she'd sworn to uphold Federation principles, and she knew that not to do so could cause serious problems not only on her record, but for her security team on the surface. She wouldn't risk lives on a feeling, especially because, loath though she was to admit it, she wasn't sure if her feelings towards the Cardassians were coloring her perspective.

She hadn't let them see her uneasiness. Databases from the war had said that Cardassians looking for a tactical advantage would use whatever weakness they could find. She certainly didn't want to offer them an opening.

Perhaps fortunately, she had another problem to occupy her mind. This problem came in the form of Wesley Crusher. She was positive something was bothering him, but she was getting nowhere in trying to get him to tell her what it was.

"Can I talk to you?"

Speak of the devil. Maybe now he'd be more forthcoming.

"Why did you decide to go into Starfleet? When did you know you wanted to be part of that?"

She wasn't exactly sure where this was going, but she decided to answer as thoroughly as possible. "It was a couple of weeks after I was rescued. Starfleet promised me something, something that was different than anything I'd ever known. Does that answer your question?"

"Yes, I guess it does. I just keep wondering - why did I decide to go into Starfleet?"

"What?"

"Strange, right? But I can't remember when I made that decision or why. I don't even know if I really did. It was just assumed that I would, when I was little but especially after Dad - I don't remember ever deciding that this was what I wanted. And now, I'm not so sure it is what I want."

"Then what do you want?"

"That's just it. I'm not sure. It was just - I went into the lodge there. And I had a vision - I saw my father. And he said not to follow him, and suddenly it all made sense. That's all I've been doing. I've been following him just to follow him. And I've never had a chance to think about what _I_ want."

"Then you should think. And when you're ready to talk, you know where I'll be."

xxxxxxxxx

This hadn't been what she was expecting. Not in the slightest. But if it made Wesley happy, made him feel like he had a path, then who was she to object?

He hugged her. "Thanks for being here for me when I needed you."

"Always." She took a step back and smiled. "Now you take care of yourself, you understand?"

"Yes, sir," he laughed.

"And Wesley?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"For what?"

She smiled a little. "The distraction." She didn't explain; he didn't need to know. He just needed to understand her gratitude.

**Sorry this one took forever, but not only was I trying to get **_**Perfectly Logical**_** caught up, this chapter was particularly complex because it varies so much from the original storyline.**

**I know the "Lower Decks" and "Journey's End" bits were somewhat crammed in, but they're really not long enough for their own chapter.**

**Someone expressed a wish that I not kill off Sito. I've chosen to leave that open-ended for now so I can come back and finish it however I decide to.**

**Someone else noted the reference to "Pegasus" in an earlier chapter. Yes, that was deliberate and a set-up for this one.  
**

**Please review.**


	39. Chapter ThirtyNine: A Dim Future

**Big Doors**

**Disclaimer: **If you recognize it, it's not mine. This is an AU story.

_**Chapter Thirty-Nine: A Dim Future**_

Tasha was in a wonderful mood. Their evening had been Deanna's idea; a double date for the former roommates and longtime friends and their respective partners. She wasn't so sure Worf had enjoyed it, but she and Deanna most certainly had, and even Data had seemed to be enjoying himself as much as he ever did.

Suddenly, Captain Picard stumbled out of a turbolift. "What's today's date?" he demanded. "The date?"

Data was the first to recover from being taken aback. "Stardate 47988."

"47988," Picard repeated numbly,

"Captain, what's wrong?" Deanna asked.

"47988. I'm not sure. I don't know how or why, but I'm moving back and forth through time."

Deanna's eyes widened. "Captain, maybe we'd best continue this conversation inside."

Worf took his leave, and Tasha kissed Data goodbye, promising to see him later, before she followed the other two into Deanna's quarters.

"I had this feeling I had physically left the Enterprise," he was explaining. "I was in another time, another place. I was somewhere in the past."

"Can you describe where you were, what it looked like?" Deanna asked.

"You see, it's all slipping away so fast. It's like waking up from a nightmare. It was years ago. It was before I took command of the Enterprise. I was talking to someone, I can't remember who. And then it all changed. I was no longer in the past. I was now an old man in the future, and I was outside and I was doing something. I can't remember what it was. I'm sorry, it's all gone. I just can't remember."

"It's all right. Have you considered the possibility that this was just a dream?"

"No, no, it was much more than a dream. The smells, the sounds, the very touch of things, much more real than a dream."

"How long did you spend in each time period? Did it seem like minutes, hours?"

"You see, I can't say. At first I had a sense of confusion, disorientation. I wasn't sure where I was. And then all that passed and it all seemed perfectly natural, as though I belonged in that time. But I can't -"

He suddenly stared into space, cutting himself off. After a moment, he seemed to register Deanna and Tasha calling his name.

"You, Tasha. I was just with you on the shuttle."

xxxxxxxxx

"Captain. What's wrong?" Geordi asked.

"This is not my time," insisted the aged Ambassador Picard. "I don't belong here."

"What?" The engineer was completely baffled.

"I was somewhere else a few moments ago."

"What do you mean? You've been right here with me."

"No, no, no! I was somewhere else. I was, it was a long time ago. There was someone talking. I was talking to someone. Beverly. I was talking to Beverly."

"It's okay, Captain. Everything's going to be all right."

"I'm not senile, you know!" the older man said sharply. "This did happen. I was here, I was talking to you, and then I was somewhere else. I was on the Enterprise. I was back on the Enterprise. At least, I think that's where it was. I was in Sickbay. Well, it might have been a hospital."

"Captain, I think we should go back to the house and call your doctor." He didn't want to say what he was thinking; that the degenerative disorder the man had been diagnosed with might be causing delusions.

"Yes, yes, I know what you're thinking. It's the Irumodic Syndrome. He's beginning to lose his mind, the old man. Well, it's not that. And I'm not daydreaming either."

"Well, all right. All right. So, what do you want do about it?"

"Data. I want to see Data."

"Data? Why?"

"Because I think he can help."

"Help how?"

"I don't know! I don't know! I want to see Data!"

"Okay, then, all right, let's go see Data. He's still at Cambridge, isn't he?" Geordi didn't know why he asked. He knew perfectly well that Data was still at Cambridge.

"Yes, I think he is." Picard suddenly saw a jeering crowd. "You see them, don't you?"

"See who?"

"They're everywhere. They're laughing at me. Why are they laughing?"

Geordi sighed. "Come on, Captain. Let's go see Data."

"Yes, Data. We'll go see Data. "

Geordi knew only two things. One, he absolutely didn't want to go to Cambridge. And two, if his former Captain asked it of him, he'd do it in a heartbeat anyway.

xxxxxxxxx

It was a rather annoyed housekeeper who answered the door. "I do wish people would let us know before they just drop in on us. You of all people should know, Mr. La Forge, there's a sick woman in this house."

"Oh, cut it out, Jessel," said a soft voice. "I'm fine. Let him in."

Jessel reluctantly stepped aside. "All right, but don't you go tiring her out."

As soon as he stepped in, Picard understood why Jessel had been worried, and why Geordi had been so reluctant to come to Cambridge. He knew that Tasha was sick, Tasha had been sick for twelve years. But it hadn't been nearly this bad when he'd seen her two years ago. She was thin and pale and looked fragile, a word he never would have ascribed to the Tasha Yar who had served as his Chief of Security.

As soon as she saw Picard, her face lit up with a smile that made her look more like her old self. "Jean-Luc!" She, unlike Data and Geordi, had transitioned easily to the informal form of address. As he stood frozen, she laughed. "You can hug me, you know. I'm not made of glass."

He took her in his arms and embraced her gently, still feeling like he might hurt her if he wasn't careful. Geordi hugged her too, with a look that suggested it was agonizing just looking at her. Which it was.

Data appeared a few moments later, having been summoned by the housekeeper. "Captain Picard. This is a surprise."

"I thought I told you to call me Jean-Luc."

"That will take some 'getting used to.'"

"Your wife manages it fine."

"She is more adaptable. But I assume you did not come here to remind me of how to address you."

"No, Data. I need your help."

"Come into the sitting room. And take care not to sit on any cats."

Once they were all seated, Picard explained his problem to Data.

"I know how it sounds," he finished, "but it happened. It was real. I was there, back on board the Enterprise."

"How do you like your tea?" the housekeeper asked.

"Tea? Earl Grey. Hot."

"Course it's hot. What do you want in it?"

"Nothing." Picard laughed. "Well, Data, I must say, this is a fine place you have here. They certainly treat professors pretty well at Cambridge."

"Holding the Lucasian Chair does have its perquisites. This house originally belonged to Sir Isaac Newton when he held the position. It's become the traditional residence." He glanced around to make sure they were alone. "Captain, how long has it been since you've seen a physician about your Irumodic Syndrome? "

"A week. They've prescribed peridaxon."

"But sir, peridaxon -"

"Yes, I know, it's not a cure, There's nothing that can prevent the deterioration of the synaptic pathways. You think that I'm senile, that all this is just a delusion. "

"Now come on, Captain, no one said anything of the kind," Geordi replied.

"In all honesty, Captain, the thought has occurred to me. However, there's nothing to disprove what you're saying. So it's possible something is happening to you. The first thing we should do is run a complete series of neurographic scans. We can use the equipment at the biometrics lab here on the campus. Jessel, ask Professor Ripper to take over my lecture for tomorrow. Possibly for the rest of the week. Captain, we'll get to the bottom of this."

"That's the Data that I remember. I knew I could count on you."

Data and Geordi walked off to deal with something, and Tasha sat down next to the Captain. "For what it's worth, I believe you."

"You do?"

"Captain, what everyone's doing to you is what they've been doing to me for years. They assume that everything that could possibly be related to your syndrome is. When I first got out of the hospital, one of the things the doctors told me to look out for was unexplained bruises. So Data sees a bruise on my shoulder and panics - as much as Data ever panics, anyway. It took me five minutes to get him to shut up long enough to tell him I'd tripped over a cat the day before."

Picard laughed despite himself. "How many of those things does he have?"

"Oh, I've lost count. I don't really mind. I don't like the idea of him alone in this house."

He wasn't nearly senile enough to miss the implications of what she'd said. "How bad is it?"

She lowered her head and he saw vulnerability in her eyes. "Three months ago, I collapsed and was taken to Medical. They told me they've tried everything they know of and a few things they didn't and now there's nothing left to try. They told me -" she drew a deep breath and continued in a strained voice. "They told me I had a year, fifteen months if I was lucky." He saw her shudder. "I've used up three months of that since then."

"I'm sorry." And he was. Sorrier than he could possibly put into words.

"I never thought I'd live forever," she said quietly. "But even after I got sick I'd hoped I'd make it to sixty."

He knew she'd turned fifty-eight the month before. "There isn't a way -?"

"To slow it down? That's what they've been doing. That's why I've lived twelve years and not one. No. There's nothing else they can do." She shut her eyes for a moment. "What I'm trying to say is, in all the years I've known you, you've never been one to subscribe to fancy. If you say you're traveling through time, then as far as I'm concerned you're traveling through time." She sighed. "I wish I could go with you."

He lightly squeezed her arm. "I wish you could too." He knew what she was really saying. She wished she could go back twenty-odd years, to before the accident that would have such disastrous consequences.

"It would've been worth it, though," she said, "if I had accomplished what I went in there for."

xxxxxxxxx

"Captain?"

Picard couldn't say what it was, but the sight of his Chief of Security sent a wash of relief through him.

"It happened again."

"A time shift?" Beverly asked.

"What happened?" Will asked.

"It's still a little vague, but I can remember more this time. It seems that every time I shift periods, I can retain more memory. At first, it appeared that I was in the future, years from now, and then I was in the past. just before our first mission."

Tasha noticed that Beverly was frowning as she checked her tricorder. "What?"

"I just scanned his temporal lobe and compared it to the scan I performed just a few minutes before. There's a thirteen percent increase in the acetylcholine of the hippocampus. Within a matter of minutes, you have accumulated over two days worth of memories."

xxxxxxxxx

Beverly Picard, formerly Beverly Crusher, was less than pleased. If it had been anyone other than her ex-husband asking her to take her ship into Klingon space, Tasha was sure she would have refused. But Tasha also knew that they were out of options. After his latest time jump, Picard had insisted they needed to go to the Deveron system, and Will had refused to help. Beverly had reluctantly agreed to ferry them, but she'd found something else to be angry about. She was now giving Picard the third degree about letting a terminally ill woman come on this mission. It took Tasha five minutes just to get a word in edgewise.

"Beverly," she said finally, when the woman had paused for breath, "why did you just say you agreed to ferry us on this mission?"

"Because I could never say no to this fool."

"And that fool could never say no to me. I asked to come on this mission."

"Why?"

"I want to stand on the bridge of a ship one more time. We both know that if I hadn't gotten sick I'd still be at the peak of my career. I'd have years more of standing on bridges. Now I don't have years more of doing anything. I wanted this last mission."

Beverly nodded slowly. "All right, then. If you insist. But don't tire yourself out."

xxxxxxxxx

The last few hours would have been tiring if Tasha had been doing nothing. Her head was almost spinning from how fast everything had happened. Despite being a medical vessel, the _Pasteur _had been attacked by Klingons while attempting to probe for an anomaly that no one could see but Picard insisted was there and only Will's timely arrival with the _Enterprise_ had saved all their lives.

Now she and Will sat across from each other, niether speaking, neither knowing what to say. Will broke the stalemate first. He stood and gathered her in his arms.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered. "I'm so sorry. This is all my fault."

"Will, what are you talking about?" Tasha asked. But the Admiral was lost in a memory.

_"What's going on?" Will arrived in the corridor at a sprint to find Tasha and two of her security team already there._

_"The systems are being flooded with some sort of radiation. Nothing I've ever seen before. It's probably a result of this nebula."_

_"That room -" Will began, but he didn't need to finish for Tasha to know what he meant. This was Deanna's office._

_"We can't cut a transporter signal through the interference."_

_"We have to do something!" Will protested. "Deanna. _Deanna_!"_

_Will watched Tasha's face and saw the moment where she made the split-second decision. "Everyone, take twenty steps back."_

_"Why -?"_

_"Do it. _Now_." Tasha knew she wasn't allowed to give the first officer orders, but she didn't care. Apparently, neither did Will. He and the others all did as she said._

_"Computer, erect a level-ten forcefield in a two-meter radius around the door." The forcefield shimmered into place, with Tasha inside and the others out._

_"Tasha, what are you -" But Will didn't even finish his question before she entered the override code that would unlock the door._

_The whatever-it-was had caused several fires, and light and smoke were clearly visible, even as the forcefield protected it from spreading. The door slammed shut._

_It seemed like ages passed, and Will could do nothing but watch. Geordi and Worf came running, only to be stopped short by the forcefield. Finally the endless waiting was broken. The doors hissed open again and Tasha crawled through, dragging the limp form of the half-Betazoid counselor. As soon as the doors shut she collapsed, gasping for air._

_"Computer, deactivate forcefield. Authorization Riker Alpha-Six-Zero."_

_The forcefield dropped and Will, Geordi, and Worf ran immediately to their fallen comrades. Geordi took Tasha around the chest, holding her up as she coughed and gagged and brought up everything in her stomach, all while trying desperately to draw a breath. One of Tasha's security officers called Sickbay. Will bent over Tasha, checking on her, then turned to Deanna. But even as he did, he heard a sound that chilled his blood. Worf howled, an almost inhuman scream. Even as she coughed and gasped, Tasha began to sob. She knew what that cry meant._

_Everything they had done was for nothing. Deanna was dead._

"Will?"

That was Tasha's voice, older and frailer than it had been in his memory. He forced himself back into the present. "Oh, sorry."

"Will, how in the galaxy was this your fault?"

"I yelled at you to do something. If I hadn't -"

"I would have done it anyway. I was already thinking it through. You just reminded me that I didn't have time to think. If anything, I'm the one at fault here."

"How do you figure that?"

"Beverly said that Deanna had only been dead for a minute or two. If I'd jumped into action as soon as I got down there -"

"It wouldn't have made a difference, and you know it. Even if you'd gotten her out still breathing, the damage would have been too extensive to repair. At best they could have kept her alive for a few more days."

"I know. But -"

"No buts. You did everything you could. Now quit blaming yourself."

"I will if you will."

"It's a deal."

xxxxxxxxx

"Mind if I join you?"

Tasha looked over her shoulder. "Not at all, Beverly. Or should I say Captain?"

"Beverly's fine. How are you feeling?"

"Just tired. There's no pain. Not yet."

"You're scared." It wasn't a question.

"I'm more scared of the process of dying than the end result. I've always known I would die - growing up the way I did, I didn't have the luxury of ignorance. I've even wished to die before. But I always thought I would die in the line of duty, a quick death. To have my body shut down slowly, fall apart like this - I am scared, Beverly. I've never been so scared in my life. And I'm scared of what this is going to do to Data. I love him so much, Beverly, I can't bear the thought of hurting him. And I'm sad about everything that we'll never get to do now. Did you know we had thought about adopting a child?"

"No."

"We hadn't really told anyone yet. It was just an idea."

"Why didn't you?"

"I think you know."

_Tasha blinked her eyes open to an unfortunately familiar ceiling. She was in Sickbay._

_"What happened?"_

_"You collapsed." Beverly's face came into view._

_"Why? What's wrong with me?"_

_It was a simple enough question, but by the look on Beverly's face, it would require a complicated answer. "Tasha - do you remember what I told you after the radiation incident? When I said there was still a small amount of radiation in your body?"_

_"Yes. How bad is it?"_

_"I won't lie to you, Tasha. Your body is showing signs of a rare and particularly aggressive form of leukemia."_

"As you know, I was in and out of treatment for that first year, and Data and I both knew it could come back at any time. We didn't want a child to have to deal with the stress of having his or her mother sick, and we certainly didn't want to bring a child into our home only for them to not have their mother survive their childhood." She wasn't really talking to Beverly anymore. "I always wanted to be a mommy. To take care of a little baby and watch him or her grow up -" finally, she burst into tears. "Oh, God, I don't want to die!"

Beverly hugged Tasha gently. "I know, I know."

"It's so unfair," she moaned.

"I know."

**Tough call, but I've decided to break the chapter here since I had to break it somewhere. One more after this one, then on to the sequel.**

**The context of Deanna's death was never mentioned; I made up my own version. Remember, if any of this seems too depressing, it's all just an alternate future.**

**My depiction of Tasha's illness is based off my very limited medical knowledge. Please don't flame me for medical inaccuracies.**

**I'm mostly working with the future timeline from "All Good Things..." since the past timeline, being before "Skin of Evil", would be no different, and the present timeline is very Picard-centric, so I can't see Tasha's presence having much of an effect on it either. (The main plot of the future timeline is also Picard-centric and would remain unchanged, but Tasha would have an effect on a lot of the interpersonal dynamics, which is what I've chosen to focus on.)**

**Please review.**


	40. Chapter Forty: The Sky's the Limit

**Big Doors**

**Disclaimer: **If you recognize it, it's not mine. This is an AU story.

_**Chapter Forty: The Sky's the Limit**_

"Have you heard from Lal recently?"

Tasha didn't have the words to express to Alyssa how glad she was to talk to someone whose first question wasn't about her health. "I spoke to her three months ago." _When I told her I'm dying._ "Starfleet Medical loves her. She's a full commander already. She'll be in charge of that place in a decade at this rate."

"Back on the _Enterprise_, I was always worried she'd put me out of a job." Alyssa laughed. "She learned everything so fast. Now she's at least where she can do the most good."

"I was more worried they wouldn't accept her, her being an android and all. But I think Data must have broken that ground. The fact that she's all but indistinguishable from a human couldn't hurt either. So what about Noah and April?" She hoped that the envy she, who could not have children and for whom adoption would not be advisable, felt at saying the names of Alyssa's children didn't show.

Apparently, it didn't. But partway through Alyssa's recounting of her children's exploits, Tasha became aware of what could quickly become a fight.

"Alyssa, would you excuse me for a second?"

"Of course."

Tasha stood and approached two of her oldest friends. "What is the _matter_ with you two?"

"He ruined -" Worf began.

"He won't -" Will said at the same time.

"Both of you cut it out! Now, Worf, you blame Will for spoiling your chances with Deanna."

"Yes," the Klingon growled.

"And Will, you're angry because Worf won't speak to you."

"Yes."

"All right, then. Why don't each of you try to look at it from each other's perspective?"

She was met with identical disbelieving glares.

"Well, at least you agree on something." This brought chuckles from Beverly and Geordi, who were watching intently. "Will, even if Worf didn't technically need your approval to date Deanna, everyone on the ship knew she was yours first. And at the time when you tried to make amends, Worf was in a great deal of pain. No one's thinking rationally at a time like that. I know you weren't. Can you accept that talking to him at that point might have been rubbing salt in an open wound?"

"Yes," he admitted.

"And Worf, you never actually _spoke_ to Will about your concerns. You expected him to give you permission and yet you never asked for it. What was obvious to all of us, looking in from the outside, may not have been obvious to him. And your chance to approach a relationship with her was rather abruptly cut short by the accident. If it hadn't been for that, you might have been able to work past that hang-up and take things to the next level. Can you accept that what _really_ stopped your relationship was the accident and not anything Will did or did not do?"

"Yes." Worf no longer sounded nearly as angry.

"That said, can you both accept that whatever either of you may or may not have done, this whole mess happened over twenty years ago?" She took a long, slow breath. "You two haven't spoken since Deanna was alive. I just hope you'll start speaking again while I still am."

For a long moment, Tasha's statement hung in the air. Will was the first to break the silence.

"You're right," he said softly. "It never occurred to me that my relationship with Deanna would make other people feel uncomfortable with her. It should have, and I apologize for being shortsighted." He looked straight at Worf. "And I'm sorry for being so caught up in my pain that I failed to notice yours. Deanna wouldn't want us to fight like this. I'm willing to put this behind me if you are."

"And I apologize for not being forthcoming about what I needed from you." Tasha knew it must have taken a lot for the proud Klingon to admit to wrongdoing, and she was proud of him. "And I agree that Deanna would not want us to fight. And I, like you, am willing to make an attempt to repair our friendship."

The hands they extended were tentative, but the handshake was firm and sincere, and Tasha felt a warmth inside her.

xxxxxxxxx

"I've shut off the tachyon pulses in the other time periods but it hasn't changed the anomaly," Picard reported.

"It remains unaffected here as well, sir," Data reported. A long silence followed. Picard had told him about their jump back into truly ancient history, where the anomaly had prevented the formation of life. If they couldn't repair the anomaly, they would retroactively destroy themselves.

Beverly voiced what was on everyone's minds. "What do we do?"

Unsurprisingly, Geordi was the first to answer. "The only way to stop this thing's to repair the rupture at the focal point where time and anti-time are converging."

"How do we do that?" Will asked.

Also unsurprisingly, Data answered this one. "It would require taking the ship into the anomaly itself. Once inside, we may be able to use the engines to create a static warp shell."

"Yeah, Data, that's right." From his excitement, he might have been the mid-thirties engineer he had been in what Picard called the present timeline. "And the shell would act as an artificial subspace barrier separating time and anti-time. "

"Collapsing the anomaly and restoring the normal flow of time," Data finished. "But this would have to be done in the other two time periods as well."

"That could be a problem," Picard sighed. "The anomaly's so much larger in the other two time periods." Picard zoned out for a moment and then came back in with renewed determination. "The other two _Enterprise_s are on their way."

"Very well," Will sighed. "Ensign, take us in."

As they entered the anomaly, it became clear that Picard had indeed been right. Two other _Enterprise_s had joined them.

"We're not going to survive this, are we?" someone on the bridge asked. No one answered, but everyone knew.

Tasha spoke after a long silence. "I don't know about any of you, but I've recently become keenly aware that no one lives forever. And I can't think of anywhere I'd rather be, or anyone I'd rather be with."

"Amen to that," Will said softly.

"_Heghlu'meH QaQ jajvam_," Worf declared. Even if Tasha hadn't known enough Klingon to recognize the phrases, the context alone would have been enough for her to figure out what he was saying.

"Yes, Worf," she said softly. "Today is a good day to die."

"Both of the other ships have been destroyed," Data reported.

"Data, report!" Picard snapped.

"The anomaly is nearly collapsed."

"We're losing containment," Geordi warned. "Containment field is at critical. I'm losing it!"

And then there was nothing.

xxxxxxxxx

Tasha was in a wonderful mood. Their evening had been Deanna's idea; a double date for the former roommates and longtime friends and their respective partners. She wasn't so sure Worf had enjoyed it, but she and Deanna most certainly had, and even Data had seemed to be enjoying himself as much as he ever did.

Suddenly, Captain Picard stumbled out of a turbolift. "What's today's date?" he demanded. "The date?"

Data was the first to recover from being taken aback. "Stardate 47988."

"Is something wrong, sir?" Deanna asked.

"No. No, everything's fine."

Tasha caught him staring at her, but as soon as he realized she saw him he looked away. "I'm sorry, Natasha. It's just - it's good to see you." Without another word, he turned back for the turbolift.

Tasha and Deanna exchanged a look that plainly said _Are you _sure_ he's all right?_

xxxxxxxxx

Against what some might have considered better judgment, Picard had chosen to share the stories of his future experiences, pointing out that simply by the next few days playing out differently things might not be the same. His story had had a profound impact on everyone in the group.

Will and Worf had sat down together and hashed out their differences regarding the woman they both loved, and it had ended with Will giving Worf the permission the Klingon felt he needed to date Deanna - but not without following it up with a very fatherly speech describing in detail what he would do should the Klingon make the mistake of hurting her.

Beverly and the Captain, however, were busily walking on eggshells around each other. Tasha silently gave them a deadline of two months to put this behind them before she intervened.

Deanna had burst into tears upon hearing that Tasha had sacrificed her own life to save her, and once she composed herself a little, she hugged her friend tightly, all while sobbing out that if Tasha ever did something so stupid in this timeline, she'd come back from the grave if necessary to make her pay.

Tasha and Data had had a long talk concerning the nature of their relationship. After unsuccessfully trying to convince him that should she ever become terminally ill he should leave her instead of forcing himself to watch her die, she finally got him to promise that if he outlived her - which seemed extremely likely, given the circumstances - and he found someone else, he would move on. He had expressed his hope that this would not be relevant for years to come, but he had agreed.

Geordi, on the other hand, hadn't been shy about his reaction to the news that he had married Leah Brahms in this alternate future. It had taken the combined efforts of Data and Tasha to convince him that, seeing as she was still married to another man at this point in time, calling her up to declare his undying love might not be the best idea he'd ever had.

Will, Worf, Geordi, Data, Tasha, and Beverly were now gathered around the poker table. At the moment, they were debating Will's poker strategy.

"Four hands in a row," Worf groaned. "How does he do it?"

"I cheat." Will all but rolled his eyes as Data shot him a look. "I'm kidding."

"You know, I was thinking about what the Captain told us about the future," Beverly said softly. "About how we all changed and drifted apart. Why would he want to tell us what's to come?"

"Sure goes against everything we've heard about not polluting the time line, doesn't it?" Geordi was still a little too over-the-moon to be terribly worried.

As usual, Data had the explanation. "I believe, however, this situation is unique. Since the anomaly did not occur, there have already been changes in the way this time line is unfolding. The future we experience will undoubtedly be different from the one the Captain encountered."

"Maybe that's why he told us. Knowing what happens in that future allows us to change things now, so that some things never happen." He shared a look with Worf, both of them remembering the conversation they'd had just a few hours ago.

"Agreed," Worf said just as the doorbell chimed.

"Come in," Will called.

Deanna stepped in. "Am I too late?"

"Of course not." Will gave her a friendly smile. "Pull up a chair."

"What's the game?"

:Five card draw, deuces wild." But Data hadn't gotten the last word out before the door chimed again.

"Come."

The Captain entered, bringing everything to a sudden halt. Will spoke first. "Is there a problem, sir?"

"No. I, er, I just thought that I might, ah, I might join you this evening. If there's room."

"Of course. Have a seat." Will pulled up a chair for him.

"Would you care to deal, sir?" Data offered.

"Oh, thank you, Mr. Data. Actually, I used to be quite a card player in my youth, you know." A long pause, and then he spoke again. "I should have done this a long time ago."

Deanna smiled kindly. "You were always welcome."

"So." Picard began dealing. "Five card stud, nothing wild," he grinned, "and the sky's the limit."

**The End**

**I couldn't think of a better ending line than the one TNG's brilliant writers provided us with.**

**Be sure to check out the sequel, **_**To The Journey**_**, on my page. By the time you read this, Chapter One of that story will be up, as will the epilogue of _Perfectly Logical_.  
**

******Thanks to all 180 reviews (plus however many I get for this chapter) and thanks to everyone for sticking with me through all forty chapters.**

**Please review.**


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